(Jon POV)

It's….been not so great. Ever since that day, when Jae went on that mission, a lot has changed with him. It's been a month since then, and ever since he's been….. different.

He isn't as active as he used to be, he really just stays inside a lot, and doesn't feel like fighting or training. He is still eating and drinking, so that's good, but he isn't getting as much sleep. Lucario had explained to me that he sometimes wakes up screaming. I think he's having really bad nightmares.

As I said he isn't as active, he really is just playing on Riley's game station, and that's all he has really wanted to do during this time. Riley would play with him, and would talk to him, but all together Jae has become more anti-social, he doesn't really like talking at all, not anymore.

If I said I haven't seen this before, I would be lying. I've seen him like this, I talked to Lucario, Ray and Mimi, he was like this when he lost Elizabeth. I explained to them the situation and how this went down, but this was different. When he lost Elizabeth he was in a deep depression, and he was very hostile. But here, he was in a depression, but he seemed scared, and paranoid, all the time. He would jump if you surprised him, as if he was ready to be attacked. I was extremely worried about him, but even more so with what was about to happen.

You see Martin's family was going on their yearly vacation, it was a long one too, like a month. This would last until the end of summer, they had a three-month summer here so they had time. They had explained this to us, but told us that there wasn't enough for all of us to go. Some of the Pokémon would have to stay behind… Jae was the first to say he would stay.

Lucario and Mimi were going along with them however. Ray and I explained that we would stay with Jae to try to cheer him up. Before heading out however Claire bought us a ton of fruits and other things, since Jae knew how to cook and has helped with cooking sometimes he would be able to cook for us certain things.

Claire ran down with Jae all of the requirements on what she bought and such. Then after a few days it was finally time for them to leave.

Claire was speaking to us, "Alright so remember now, food is in the fridge, I left most of the stuff near the bottom where you two can get to it, and Jae will be able to get the stuff that needs to be cooked, and if you go outside remember to lock up when you come back okay?"

Jae was next to speak, 'Yeah….we got it…' He said quietly.

Lucario walked up to Jae, -Hey, Jae?-

He looked up at him, -Yeah?-

Lucario looked down, -Stay safe….okay?-

Jae looked up, -Same to you…-

Jae then walked off and went upstairs. Martin came over to me to talk.

"Um, hey look….your brother is in a really bad place right now….he's given me reason to believe he wouldn't but….I would just look out for him…okay?" Martin said.

I gave him a nod.

Riley, Carol, Claire, Martin, Lucario, and Mimi all told us goodbye and headed out with all of their stuff. After they locked the door Ray looked up at me.

-So, what do you want to do?!- He said happily.

I thought for a moment before speaking, -Well, I don't know, what do you feel like doing?-

Ray smiled, -Let's play electro ball again!-

I smiled back, -Sure!-

So we went off to the training room to do some more of this game. I got to say, after playing the game a bit it got really addictive. But the funny thing is the game got a lot harder, for one thing Ray was a lot faster than he originally was, we would have rounds where it would take five minutes for one of us to score, it got kind of ridiculous.

After a bit of playing Ray stopped and looked down.

-What's the matter?- I asked.

He looked up at me with a sad expression, -Do…. Do you think Jae will ever be the same? He's been like this for so long, he hardly does anything with us anymore….I'm worried…-

-I am too…. But he should come out of this eventually! He's my brother, I know him!- I said back.

-Yeah! He's been a good friend to me, I know he'll bounce b- He was cut off because we heard footsteps walk by the door and head out the back door.

-Stay here,- I said.

I walked to the back of the house and saw that the back door was open. I walked out to see Jae sitting on the back porch steps.

I was about to ask what he was doing but then I saw it… The sheath on his back as empty, he was holding our dad's knife in his paws.

My eyes grew wide as soon as I saw it, he seemed to be inspecting it in any case. It didn't look as if he was doing anything else…but still, I was worried.

-Jae…. What are you doing?- I asked.

He just stayed where he was, I saw him jump a little however. He didn't even turn to look at me when he answered, -Oh…. Just thinking…-

I grew a little more calm, -About what?-

He just sat there, he inspected the knife a little more before slightly turning towards me, -Jon… Do you think I'm still allowed to go?-

The question baffled me, what did he even mean by that?

-Go where?- I asked.

I waited for a good minute before I actually had a true answer. Everything was dead quiet, no Pokémon chirping or squeaking, nothing out in the distance making noise, not even the wind. Then after all the suspense I finally got my answer.

-To Heaven,- He said simply.

The answer shocked me even more than the question. Why would he be thinking like this?

-From everything I've done…..to everyone I've killed or let die….Mom, Dad, Raiden, Sharara, Nanaba, Aqua, Lyran, Mike, Keiran…..Elizabeth…. then the people I've killed, the countless names I never knew, or dared to even asked….I know it just seems like I shrug things off or I seem fine….but in reality I'm not….Jon, I don't know what else to do….My death counter is more than one person should see in their lifetime…..and I did this in the span of months…- He explained, -So tell me….after everything, would I still be allowed to go?-

He looked back with the most desperate look in his eyes. It was like he was pleading with me to say yes to him.

Against all other judgement, I gave him an honest answer, -Well…. Even though those things have happened, some weren't even your fault, and the ones that were, you did it to protect yourself or me, even though those things have happened, I feel that you've done enough good that….yes, you would.-

He smiled slightly, -Thanks for the talk Jon….. I think I'm gonna go for a walk,- He said.

I turned as he got up to see Ray had been at the door listening in. He was about to walk up before I stopped him. Jae continued to walk down the path through the forest and I waited until he was out of sight.

Ray looked at me innocently, -Jon, what's heaven?-

I looked back at him, -Well…It's a place where the dead go, it's like a paradise, and if you haven't been a terrible person…then.. you get to go there.-

-I see….But Jae isn't a bad person, why would he think that?- He asked back.

I looked back at the forest, -He's in a bad place right now….I think this time we have to let him get out on his own.-


(Jae POV)

I was walking alone down the forest path. I just needed to think some things over…and there was someone I wanted to talk to. I kept walking down the path until I got to the town. It was busy as ever. Some people were really confused on why there was a lucario just walking down the streets. I was going to keep moving but I saw that nearby there was a training ground. It was like those practice tennis courts I used to see but for Pokémon battles.

I took my time to walk over and just sit down by one of the arenas watching some others fight. There seemed to be new trainers using starter Pokémon.

After a bit of watching and just enjoying the non-violent battles, something hit me on the back of the head, causing me to freak out and jump! I turned around to see what had hit me, and I saw a kid. I looked down and saw there was a pokeball….he threw it at me.

"WHAT!? C'mon! All I had to do was just hit the Pokémon with it!" He said in a very loud voice.

I don't know why, but that made me MAD! I felt like I was being treated like an animal! I know I was one, but to be mistaken for just a random Pokémon, it's kind of humiliating. But I was mature, picked up the ball and handed it back to the kid. I then took my time to walk off, not caring what the kid wanted to do or say.

I then proceeded to my original destination, still I was getting these odd looks from people. It was starting to really sink in that I wasn't human anymore, most of the time I'm out on the town I'm with one of the family, but now was different. So this is what it feels like to have your humanity taken from you.

After the constant stares I was finally where I was planning to go. I walked up to the gates of this place. I've only been here once before, these old momentous of the past, lined up in a neat fashion, just waiting for another to add to it's collection….I was at the cemetery.

All these peoples names lined up in rows, with different years of death, but there was only one I was here to see.

I got to the one I wanted, Cindy Shidel.

I got down on my knees and inspected the grave. It looked clean, at least people were respectful enough not to mess with her grave.

But still, -I promised myself I wouldn't do this again…but..-

I used my aura and infused it with a double team image, in mere seconds the image was once again in the image of my mom.

She sat down on her knees, "Hey son, how've you been doing?"

-I uh….I've been better,- I said back.

"What happened?" She asked.

-Well a lot. I had made some really good friends here….but some have ended up dead…- I explained.

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that, I really am," She said.

-Yeah well, good to hear it from you…and to speak to you again,- I said with a small smile.

"You've been through so much Jae…you and Jon need me there," She said.

I took a breath, -Well if it were possible we would have you here in a heartbeat.-

"I would love to as well son," She said.

I looked down, -Mom… this woman who attacked my friends…..says you worked with her, and had a part with what happened…..Mom did you?-

Her image looked shocked at what I had said, but then smiled warmly at me, "Son…. You know I only know what you do…right? Just have faith, I'm your mother, and you know I would always do right by my kids."

I smiled, -Yeah I know…. It's still good to hear you say it though!-

I then warmly hugged the image of her, -I love you mom!-

"I love you too son!" She said back.

I then let the image disappear, and got up from the grave.

After taking my time to leave the area I started heading back to the house. But even though I was heading that way it was not my destination. After a bit of travelling I made it halfway to where I was going, which was Ray's old village. It seemed like most of the townsfolk here were able to rebuild pretty quickly, but others not so much….Avis' parents still looked devastated to hell.

I didn't dare talk to anyone, just took the town as the shortcut to my next destination. After a bit walking through the forest a little more. I kept walking, and walking….then I found what I was looking for, a broken sword, set up as a statue.

My father's grave.

I hadn't tried out that image with my father, but I still needed to talk to him.

After forming a double team I used my aura to make it look like my father. When the image was completely formed he looked down at me.

-H.. Hi dad!- I said.

He just looked down at me, silently,

-D-dad? C'mon say something!- I said.

He didn't say anything.

-DAD! C'mon! Say something! C'mon anything!- I said again.

He still stayed quiet, just looking at me fiercely.

I smiled…and started laughing, -Ha…haha….HAHA…HAHAHA! OH I GET IT! SO YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEAK BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! YOU WANT TO BE PETY AND LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT….grrrrrrrr…. F%$# YOU OLD MAN! YOU WERE ALWAYS ACTING LIKE THIS! LIKE YOU WERE ABOVE ME! TRYING TO LECTURE ME ABOUT EVERYTHING! WELL GUESS WHAT!? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN IN SCHOOL PEOPLE WOULD BULLY ME! AND CALL ME NAMES! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU WEREN'T! YOU TOLD ME JUST TO SUCK IT UP LIKE A MAN! WELL SORRY NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AN INSENSITIVE HARD ASS LIKE YOU!... At least I had someone who cared for me, BUT IT SURE AS HELL WASN'T YOU! SO TELL ME, OPEN THE F%$#ING MOUTH OF YOURS AND SPEAK! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY!? HUH!?-

Worst part during my screaming I bit my lip so bad it started to bleed.

My father's image blinked, then opened his mouth, "Jae….. what do you want me to say?"

My eyes widened….what was I doing? Have I lost it?! I control the image, and here I was… yelling at it… at nothing!

I opened my muzzle, -I…. I don't know…-

I let the image fade, and got up, -He….heh… I really have lost it….. haven't I?-

I turned around from the grave, walked a few feet, and got on my knees.

I….. I think I'm done.

I slowly reached behind me and pulled out my father's knife. I took his life….. it would be justice it was his weapon that took me out.

I didn't know if anyone would judge me, or even care, but I've had enough, this way I can go and be with the ones I love…. It may be unfair to Jon but, he'll be fine, and with me gone that keeps Martin's family safe, and my brother's safety guaranteed.

I lifted the knife slowly up, holding it with both paws.

"Jae."

I lifted it a bit closer, making sure it would hit it's mark.

"Jae!"

I then got it ready to thrust, closing me eyes, and…

"JAE!"

I opened my eyes and I was no longer in that field, I was at my high school, at the outdoor cafeteria. I was sitting at one of the round tables out here, it was shocking to find myself back here.

"JAE!" I heard someone say.

I turned to my right and came face to face with…..

"Elizabeth?" I asked in shock. Her blue eyes were staring at me with more determination then I had ever seen before, and here long black hair waved behind her.

"Jae, have you done it again?" She asked.

I looked down, "Sorry I…. It just got to me again okay?"

She took a breath, "Look you've got to stop doing this, every time these bullies get to you, you always let yourself fall like this, you keep going into a depression that I can't get you out of, and I feel that if it keeps up you might do something you will regret!"

I still kept my head down, "It's hard y'know? Everyone says words don't hurt but….. they do, and it feels like I don't even want to get up in the morning sometimes…. It's…. awful!-

She looked at me with worried eyes, "Jae…. Can you make me a promise?"

I looked up into her blue eyes, "What is it?"

"YOU PROMISE ME! That no matter what anyone says to you, what anyone does to you, or whatever happens to you or your family, you keep going! Don't you ever give up! Your life is worth something, don't you ever let anyone make you feel like it isn't! And don't make yourself feel like it isn't, you keep going no matter what!" She said finishing with a smile.

Before I got to say anything back I blinked and when I did I was back to where I was. I looked at the knife I was holding with disgust and quickly dropped it, and pushed myself away.

-…..NO!- I quickly grabbed the knife, threw it at my father's grave, then I quickly removed the sheath I was wearing and dropped it.

-I'm done…. No more! You're gone, but I certainly wont join you yet, I'll keep fighting, right to the end! That's a promise!- I screamed more to myself than anyone.

I started to walk off and just keep my distance. I decided to just take a different route back, I didn't go through the village again, instead I took the far off path away from it. This rea wasn't familiar to me, but I said I was going to take a walk, so I did.

After about maybe five or so minute of walking I heard a cry for help, sounded young. I quickly moved in to find a bunnelby trapped in a snare, looked like a homemade trap.

It was screaming for me to let it out, I got down and saw it was a good trap, nothing to catch anything big, and easily removable. I got the rabbit out and it ran off.

Something wasn't right however, if you were making a trap to catch Pokémon, you would probably want something better than this, one Pokémon comes over or even a human and poof, there goes your meal…..so why?

A second later I heard the bushes behind me rustle, and it wasn't a small one either, I could hear it's footstep, it was something around my size. It quickly leaped out, and right before it's three purple claws struck I jumped out-of-the-way. It landed and I turned around to face it.

But when I did I saw she was lying there, just in a heap, crying, and whimpering. I took a better look and I thought I was wrong on what she was…. How did I know it was a she? Anyway she was black furred, with really long, purple hair hanging from the back of her head, laying beside her. She had her face covered with her purple claws and was muttering.

-No, no, no, no, it's over, it's over, I can't, I can't!- She screamed in a very light feminine voice.

I walked a little closer to her and when I dead her head spun around. I came muzzle to muzzle with her fox-like face, with purple coloring on the sides of her mouth and eyes, and I stared into her golden eyes. I realized what she was now, she was a zoroark, and a shiny one at that!

Her face was one of someone who was in a state of total shock and fear! She was breathing heavily and didn't dare move!

When I took a better look at her I realized something, she hasn't been eating. She looked skinny an malnourished, and I mean I could see her ribcage! She was also extremely dirty, with dirt and grime all over her, she really has been through a bad time.

-Are you okay?- I asked. I knew she wasn't, but it felt right to ask.

Her widened and she screamed, -NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!-

She tried to quickly jump and run but she quickly fell over and tried to struggle to get up.

-Hey wait! Please look you're in no condition to..- I tried to talk but she screamed.

-NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!- She started to have tears form and she was squirming when I tried to help her up. Nearly clawed me a couple of times.

She needed help, and there was no way she could do this herself, she couldn't even move!

-STOP!- I screamed at her.

She quit talking and held her breath.

-Look, you're not in a position to move, you look like you haven't eaten in days, and it's to the point where you have lost all strength to move, so I'm gonna take you to where I live, okay?- I said. I didn't know why I was doing this, but something was compelling me to help her, I just didn't know why.

She took a breath and nodded, her eyes still as wide as ever, but I could tell she really didn't like the idea.

I then took my time to pick her up, she was light, which wasn't good. I got her to where I was carrying her on my back, with her arms hanging over my shoulder while I held her legs.

I then started to walk back to the house, I was about to pick up the pace but remembered something.

-Hey…. What's your name if you don't mind?- I asked looking back at her.

She still had this shocked expression, like she was waiting for me to attack.

I gave a breath, -It's alright, you don't have to tell me if y-

-Zuria…- She said.

-Huh?- I asked, I didn't exactly hear her.

-My name…. is Zuria,- She said again.

I let the name sink in as I kept walking, -Zuria? It's a nice name, my name is Jae…-

I then continued on, picking up the pace, so I could get her back.