Chapter Fifty-Two: If You Never Try, You Never Know
It had been a week that they'd lived through many, many times before.
Haley could recite these weeks without a pause: the time in Tree Hill when Nathan had been shot so many years ago, when Ryan had been in the hospital because of complications of Jamie's birth, when she'd had her miscarriage.
This wasn't much different. Brooke had gone through her operation, the glass from the windshield that had been imbedded in her stomach had been removed, the sprained wrist she'd received had been put into a cast.
And the rest of them loitered. Comforted Lucas, told stories, brought over their children for the occasional visit.
Without the threat of death or even serious reprecussions, it was considerably less intense than it often was.
On the seventh day of their unending wait, Haley was sitting in the waiting room. They only allowed two visits per bed, and both Lucas and Brooke's were filled. She flashed a half smile at Jake, who was sitting across from her with Jamie on his lap.
"This is insane. Ry and I were already asleep when we got the call, and then suddenly we were here. What were you doing?" he asked.
Haley shook her head slightly to clear her head of the image of her and Nathan in the entrance hall.
"Nothing. I um, don't remember," she said. Jake raised a sceptical eyebrow but said nothing. "I haven't seen much of her lately. Ryan."
"Trying to keep her away, to be honest. She doesn't need the extra stress," explained Jake. Haley smiled. She remembered the days when Nathan had been so concerned over her during her own pregnancies. This, somehow, was so much more endearing.
Haley stared as Jamie began to stir in his lap. She missed her own babies. She missed her life.
She missed Nathan. She wished, badly, that there were fewer strings attached.
"Jake, I've got to go somewhere. Tell them I love them when you go in to see them, okay?" she requested, grabbing her purse and abruptly running for the door. Jake smiled knowingly. It was only a matter of time.
"We need to talk."
Nathan looked down in surprise to find Haley on his stoop.
"Is that what we need to do?"
Haley held back a smirk.
"Shut up."
Heli was with Kade, Nina and Eve at the apartment. Haley was struck by the emptiness of the house.
They walked slowly upstairs. Nathan knew where to lead her, knew why she was there. He'd probably known before she had.
"What's up?" he asked. They hovered at the head of the staircase.
"Nothing. I just want to... talk," she said weakly.
"Talk? You're sure? You don't want to yell?"
"I'm sure," she said.
"Or scream? Passionately?"
Haley let out a noise of disbelief and made to leave. Nathan frowned, realizing that'd he'd pushed her too far.
"The thing is though... Haley..." Nathan trailed off as he realized Haley was looking away, trying her best to ignore him. He grabbed her and turned her around sharply until she was facing him. "The thing is Haley, you're my girl. Woman, whatever. It's how it is, it's how it's always been. Just like how Brooke was Lucas' and Peyton was Jake's and that's just how it's supposed to be. We're that couple, Hales. The one that goes through shit but ends up together eventually. That breaks up but sleeps together at least once a season to keep everyone entertained. That's us, Haley."
"God, stop it already. Stop wooing me. Stop making me believe you love me," said Haley in anger, turning to face him.
"But I do..."
"Don't! It doesn't matter anymore Nathan. You don't get it. I've never been able to love you the way you've needed it. You're never going to be able to make me believe," she said in frustration. Crossing the room in four long strides, put his hands on her shoulders and crushed his lips on to hers. He smiled as she instinctively leapt into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist.
Nathan stumbled slightly, overcome with the sensations coursing through his body before adjusting her until her legs were hanging over his arm, her back supported by his other, and beginning to walk to their bedroom.
He hadn't been sleeping there. He hadn't been with Katie there. He'd reserved it for this.
Nathan banged the door behind them, knocking a picture of the wall. He slowly lowered Haley onto the bed and joined her, vividly remembering the events of his recent dream, their first time, their last.
Haley reached up to hurriedly unbutton his shirt, her fingernails carelessly scratching his chest in her haste. He leaned down to kiss her again, disregarding his struggle for breath. He kissed her again.
Her hands explored his now bare chest as though she'd never seen it before, like it was something new to her. She peeled off her own tank top, and he paused briefly to take in the sight of her bare skin before leaning down to touch his lips to it, needing to hear her, to feel her again. He pulled her in closer to him, feeling her heart race, her warm skin, her lips under his.
Nathan stared into her eyes as he adjusted her so she was supported by one arm, the other slowly trailing down her body, hitting her most sensitive nerves until he hit her black lace underwear. He tugged them off and she let out a slight moan of denied pleasure when he found his way in to her. His lips found hers again when her eyes widened slightly, as if in fear or regret.
"I love you," he muttered into her ear. She slid her eyes closed, tilted her head back, prepared herself for him.
"I love you," she said, not bothering to regret her words. When her responses began to quicken, she opened her eyes again to meet his, and when she leaned up to kiss him again he knew she was ready.
He flipped them around, swiftly admired the shape of her body again, her long hair falling over her naked shoulders.
She gasped when his hands found her hips, and he grasped her tightly to lift her up and slide her on to him.
Haley called out his name as she came again and again. Nathan took satisfaction in this as he never had before. No one was like Haley. He'd been with many women, before and since her, but nothing was like this. Nothing else could supply him with such desperate need, such complete satisfaction.
"I'd forgotten how good at that we are," she said.
His mind recalled the long night: the first time, fast and passionate, their gradual ascent into something more, something just as passionate but more loving, something that neither of them could deny.
Nathan breathed in deeply, and found the hand that was resting across his stomach. He wrapped his other arm around at her remembering how it had felt, to have her resting next to him, her head on his shoulder.
"I hadn't," said Nathan.
