firewing pegasus: What Amber said wasn't wrong. Was the best timing or the right person to say it to? Maybe not but what she said was right. Cooper was told to keep his hands off of Mindy and he didn't listen and so yeah…considering what he did he's lucky he's even still alive. And Connor knows damn well better than to hurt a kid. James drilled that lesson into his head long ago and Mindy would damn well skin him alive in a heartbeat over it. You do not fuck with Mindy's children. Ever. Esha Napoleon: Dumb thing *kicks it* That should teach it. And if it don't, I'll send James over to teach it a lesson lol NeroAnne: I agree, the kiddies are just too adorable. I just want to grab all of them and squeeze them. You're right, Cooper does-now if only he'll stop wallowing in his own helplessness something can maybe get done to get through to him.

"COOPER! Cooper, Cooper, oh my god Cooper!" Taylor immediately dived over the bed and collapsed to the floor, taking deep breaths and hyperventilating at how sudden that twist out of bed was. They had been sleeping so peacefully (or so it seemed) when BAM! Down goes rich boy. "COOPER!"

He just kept panting and completely ignored how the bony arms wrapped around him and tried to hold him in place.

"PLEASE Cooper, stop! Cooper stop! What's the matter, honey what happened?" her voice cracked from being so nervous though he didn't pick it up, he just kept shaking like a maraca until her lips pressed to his temple and she gently shushed him, "Sssssh…" trying her best to sound maternal and calm him (since that's what he seemed to need), Taylor gently rubbed his back and rocked him a bit, "okay…it's okay…you're okay…" her long fingers combed through his hair and she nodded, "everything is going to be okay, it was just a dream, you'll be okay."

"No!" he yelped and shook his head, reaching up to grab the arms which were wrapped around him and shaking his head, "No, no, no!"

"No no what, hun?" she frowned and shook her head; trying to figure this guy out was a complete nightmare, "No no what? What happened?"

Cooper coughed and shook his head, saying nothing and sniffling before running a hand through his hair and realizing that the entire thing had all been a dream. No Mindy was there to pull him out of that water, no Caroline was chasing him, no James was choking him, no Jeff glaring in disappointment, and no dead Joie to torment his soul even more than it already was. Here he was now alone with no one from his past to love and care for him because he didn't deserve it. He deserved to die so that was exactly what he came out here to do. Getting hooked on the crack or whatever the hell it was (he wasn't even sure anymore) was merely a bonus to his goal of getting closer and closer to finally fulfilling everyone's best wishes and dying the fuck off. No one cared, no one wanted him, and he wouldn't rest because he knew this was the end of the line. He raped his stepmother, his best friend, his unofficial twin, his better half. He raped the only person alive who understood him because of love. He did all this for love and that was what killed him the most.

The words have been drained from this pencil,

Sweet words that I want to give I can't sleep;

I need to tell you

Goodnight.

He kept repeating the words of the song which Mindy wrote specifically for James and didn't want released, yet of course the internet got their hands on it due to the tricky recording studio and it leaked all over the fucking world.

When we're together I feel perfect,

When I'm pulled away from you,

I fall apart

And he did fall the fuck apart without her. Those words were meant for James and no one, not even Cooper, was ever supposed to hear them but of course the internet was such a wonderful invention. But that was the whole point, shit happens, but he never meant to hurt her.

All you say is sacred to me,

Your eyes are so blue,

I can't look away,

As we lay in the stillness, you whisper to me:

He loved her, he wanted to be closer to her, he wanted her to love him more than anybody else just like she always demonstrated with James. He was so fucking jealous of James he wanted to trade places or even possibly be him, but the Lawson patriarch put him in his place and he had no chance. There was no way he'd be able to do anything against James because of his father's pure size and strength, and not he was heavily paying for it. He thought he could take James by the horns and he was wrong, so incredibly wrong. He messed with the wrong stallion and now he was ousted and exiled completely from the family he knew and loved so much.

Baby, marry me, promise you'll stay with me

Oh you don't have to ask me,

Pulling his knees up to his chest he shivered and started crying, running his hands through his hair and feeling like such a fucking wreck. Why he couldn't die already was beyond him. This was the final step he was finished. Obviously no one was coming to save him and in all honesty he didn't deserve to be saved. Caroline came into that dream for a reason as did Joie. They came to take him away to hell, and Mindy ran away because James was going to be the one to send him to hell and there was nothing that could be done about it. She wouldn't stop him and no one would stop it, no one should stop it.

You know you're all that I live for,

you know I'd die just to hold you, stay with you,

Some how I'll show you, that you are my night sky

"Cooper…" speaking up through clenched teeth, Taylor exhaled and licked her thin lips quickly to lift those empty eyes to face hers, "why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Why not?" he croaked and started crying his body stung so badly, "What the fuck is there for me, huh? What the fuck am I supposed to do anymore?" he coughed and sniffled before feeling his own red irritated nose from cocaine, "No one's coming no one cares! I'm all the fuck alone-"

"Actually" Taylor frowned a bit and knocked her forehead against his, "I'm here for you, rich boy. I'll be here as long as you need me"

"I DON'T-"

"Babe" she corrected with a knowing glance and a shake of the head, "you do. More than you've ever known you need someone right now."

"To do WHAT?" he lamented as a moan, "WHAT is there for me, Taylor? I have fucking NOTHING! What part of NOTHING do you have a hard time understanding?"

I've always been right behind you,

Now I'll always be right beside you

"And WHAT makes you so sure about that?" Taylor growled and shook her head at him, "God fucking DAMN IT Cooper you're talking about misery to a fucking PROSTITUTE! What are you DOING to yourself? YOU fucked yourself! YOU can fix it!"

"No" he gagged and shook his head while trying to push her away, "I CAN'T! What part of 'can't' is having a hard fucking time registering with you? My entire LIFE as I knew it is gone! Imagine…" he ran the back of his hand under his eyes and coughed, "Imagine you had fucking everything…even though you didn't deserve it…"

She nodded along intently.

"Alright" he nodded stiffly and sniffled, "Now imagine all that shit being taken away from you like a fucking rug"

"Because…" she began coldly, "of YOUR fuckup mistake you did NOTHING to fix"

"I…!" he went to argue got suddenly got very sleepy again.

He was so fucked up he couldn't even keep his eyes open. The plan was maybe to pass out into a coma and never wake up again. Everyone's lives would be made so much easier, even this hooker who just pulled him off the streets like that. Everyone's lives could be made so much easier without him. Connor would stop running away and getting hurt, James could stop stressing, the kids could stop being protective and Mindy could stop worrying. He truly was a poison pill to all around him and he needed to be stopped. His evil and misfortune had been spread practically all over the globe now and he was just fucking done. All he ever wanted was to be loved by someone and he was…she loved him. She loved him terribly and by suffering like this he was killing her more each day. Mindy was more than likely worrying and crying over him and he couldn't bear think about that…bringing so much pain to the main person who didn't deserve it. She was so fucking beautiful and funny and smart and perfect. She had no right to have to think about his fuckup life all day. She deserved a life without him, she deserved a life with James he loved her so fucking much and felt strongly enough for her to say such.

So many nights I've cried myself to sleep

Knowing that you love me I love myself.

"I think giving up is pathetic and weak" she said bluntly while running her fingers through his hair, "If you die now you'll let him win, do you understand me? You'll fucking let him win if you die now. He'll get the smug satisfaction of saying he was right as you rot in a box if they're fortunate enough to find your body wherever you end up killing yourself."

"I can't do it…!" He was already crying into his hand and shivering violently, "I'm so weak…"

"Not when I met you" she shook her head, "You're SO much better than you make yourself out to be, Cooper…"

"No" he mouthed at her and shook his head when she slapped him across the face and scowled.

"STOP IT GOD DAMN IT!" she scared the shit out of him but frankly didn't care, "You DON'T deserve death, alright? NO ONE deserves to DIE for something they've done…" she frowned and shrugged, "even if they killed someone else. Eye for an eye will make the whole world blind, remember?" she tried to smile a bit and pet his hair, "If you just damn everything as-is you're putting yourself in SUCH harm I can't even begin to describe it to you, Cooper."

"I don't care" he croaked when she shook her head and sighed.

"Well I've got news for you" she nodded, "When your heart stops beating you'll be REAL sorry you didn't have the BALLS to do anything about it while you still could."

With that she stood to leave him to himself and stopped before heading into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Oh…" one last reminder she turned and faced the pathetic being which once was Cooper, "one last thing…" she curled her lips and leaned against the doorway, folding those rail-thin arms across her chest and sighing, "you know that Mommy who doesn't care for you?" she nodded since he didn't, "Well she just made press for literally beating the fucking shit out of a pap for insulting you after her last show before hubby cut her off from life. I just thought you should know that in case you really do thing about slicing your wrists up while I'm in the shower."

Running a hand through his hair after Taylor closed the door, Cooper took a deep breath and coughed in astonishment at that news, burying his face in his hands and sobbing.

I never thought I would say that,

I never thought that it'd be...you.

"Lizzie Bear…" Amber giggled at the way Elizabeth kept sticking Lammy's face in her mouth and had to shake her head, "that's nasty. When you drop him nobody's gonna wanna pick him up because he'll be covered in spit and Lizzie Bear spit is just-"

"I love Lizzie Bear spit" Mindy grinned and Eskimo kissed Elizabeth before kissing Amber's cheek, "I love Ambieloo spit too. I love all my babies"

"I love you too, Mommy…" Amber sighed in the kitchen while running her fingers through Mindy's hair to brush it out, "So when's the costume party for you and Daddy?"

"Next week" Mindy giggled and kissed Amber's cheek as she sat on the countertop to properly get her fingers through her mother's hair, "Why, baby?"

"I don't know" Amber shrugged with a sigh, "I want you to have fun"

"Daddy is excited to host it too"

"Daddy is excited to be with YOU" Amber corrected with a sigh, "He'd watch paint dry with you, that's just how he is."

"And I love Daddy more" Mindy nodded curtly while kissing Elizabeth's cheek.

"She looks more like him everyday" Amber grinned while reaching forwards and petting Elizabeth's cheek as she hugged Lammy, making Elizabeth smile at her and squeeze Amber's hand in hers. "I love her so much, Mommy" she nodded while trying to blink tears away, which wasn't lost by Mindy and she pulled her oldest under her arm to kiss her, "She was the best thing to happen to us."

"I thought Daddy was the best thing to happen to us" Mindy nudged her and made Amber giggle and roll her eyes.

"You mean to YOU" she stuck her tongue out and grabbed Mindy's nose between her thumb and index finger, "I'm not the one doing the nasty."

"Ambie!" Mindy gasped when Amber waved her off.

"Please…you think that's the worst thing I've said?"

"You are six!"

"You're twenty-nine."

"I happen to be an ADULT" Mindy corrected, and Amber could only snort at that.

"Sure thing, Mommy" she rolled her eyes with a smirk before touching Mindy's arm, "And be careful…"

"Why?" Mindy frowned when Amber sighed and touching Mindy's arm gravely.

"I don't like the way Connor has been to you lately. He may get really mean with you and Daddy."

"Oh no, Ambieloo" Mindy's head shook when Amber remained stoic.

"Aunt Taryn is helping him, Mommy. They're trying to make you and Daddy get a divorce."

"Oh…" she figured Amber was referencing to the fight the other night and Mindy shook her head calmly, "Ambieloo that was Mommy's fault, Daddy and Mommy had a fight all by ourselves"

"And you do not think Connor will try to feed it?"

"And what will he get out of trying to drive a stake between me and Daddy? Nobody will ever come close to breaking us up, honey…"

"Doesn't mean he won't make your life a living hell"

"And what does he get out of doing so?" Mindy frowned and hugged herself, shrugging.

"Daddy all to himself"

"No…" Mindy smiled reassuringly and kissed Amber's forehead, "Nobody will EVER come between Mommy and Daddy…not even us."

"Then will you please just eat for him?" Amber frowned and ran her fingers along Mindy's massive wedding rings, "He loves you, Mommy…He loves you too much, all he wants to see is you happy. He didn't mean to hurt you, Mommy"

"I don't care what he meant" Mindy shook her head and smiled warmly, "All that matters is how much I love Daddy and how I would die for him."

"So will you please eat one of the cupcakes he made you?" Amber frowned and motioned to her right, where a tray of beautiful red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing and rainbow sprinkles sat just how she liked them.

"OH MY GOD!" Mindy gasped and giggled, holding a hand over her mouth and giggling loudly at the display in front of her, "AMBIE! When did you…?"

"Not me" Amber shook her head with a smug grin and pointed upstairs, "Daddy."

"Daddy?" Mindy shook her head in astonishment and gasped, "DADDY made these?"

"He learned how to make them for you very hard, Mommy" she nodded with a giggle, "You hadda see the way he was reading for it, he loves you so much."

Mindy's eyes watered and she nodded somberly, tears unable to be prevented and she grabbed a cupcake out of the tray and just stared at it as if it were made of gold.

"Now it is too beautiful I don't want to eat it now and spoil its perfectness" Mindy frowned when Amber sighed and tugged her mother's hip-length raven hair.

"Eat the damn cupcake."

Mindy's eyes widened in astonishment before giggling at Amber and nodding, "Alrighty, mamacita."

Taking a deep breath she downed the cupcake and immediately reached for another one when Amber cleared her throat and nodded eagerly.

"Eat another one."

"Hmmm…" Mindy smirked and raised an eyebrow, "a little bossy, aren't we?"

"Daddy made them, he loves you, he made them because he loves you and knows you eat nothing."

"Not anymore" Mindy shook her head before grinning devilishly at the tray and Amber knew what she was thinking unfortunately.

"Go…" she motioned to the upstairs, "I'm sure Daddy will feel extra special if you eat them off him."

"That ain't the ONLY thing I'm doin' to him" Mindy sniggered mischievously before taking Elizabeth in one arm and the tray in the other. Quickly she bolted up the steps happy as can be and screaming at the top of her lungs, "JAMIE! JAMIE DARLING! JAMIE! JAMIE! JAMIE!"