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The Fowler Cooper Publication Federation
January 2023
Primary Topic: The Positronic Man by Isaac Asimov and Robert Silverberg
Surprised at first to be alone, she woke up with a start. In the dark, Amy wrinkled her brow and then remembered what was happening. Smilingly softly, she turned her bedside lamp on and got up to wrap her robe about her. She shuffled down the dark hallway, stopping at the corner to the great room.
It was only his silhouette visible in the corner sunroom that they'd long ago converted to their office. There were the lights of the city out the windows behind him, and the softer but brighter glow of his computer screen. Amy stood and watched him for a moment, his precise and certain movements as he picked up devices and plugged them into the special cord he'd ordered, taking the time to straighten each one on the top of their cleared partner's desk. Even his shadow was orderly and handsome.
Smiling, she walked closer until Sheldon turned. "Did I wake you?"
"No." She shook her head. "I think it was a dream or something." She glanced down at the devices he was plugging in and turning on. "You couldn't wait until daylight?"
"Amy, this is the most important update in Apple history! Progress waits for no one."
She chuckled. "I don't know if I'd say it's the most important, but okay."
"Don't worry, I ordered the special cord for all our devices. I'll do your iPad and phone and watch, too." He sat in his chair and turned toward the screen of his Mac, selecting a few things, and then murmuring "Here comes history" as he pressed his mouse.
She could not help but jump slightly as all the screens turned white at once, just a single black status bar in the center of each. It brightened the room considerably, and now she could clearly see the awe in Sheldon's face as he watched the update he'd longed for start to download.
"You're so cute when you're excited," she said.
He turned, the light from the screens casting glare on his glasses. "It's a momentous day, Amy. It's the single greatest evolution in Siri's lifespan."
Smiling again, Amy looked down and realized one of the devices was new. She reached over and touched the black edge of the small tablet. "Oh, you're updating Ada's new iKindle, too? Didn't it come with the new version of software on it?"
"Yes, but you have to sync it to your house Siri so it responds correctly. And I need to set the parental controls afterwards, anyway."
"Do you think it's too much?" she asked suddenly. "I know we agreed and bought it, but a brand new iKindle, a big birthday party, and a trip to Disneyland? I want Ada to have a perfect birthday, but I don't want her to be spoiled."
"It's either give her the iKindle or let her annex our bedroom to be her library," he said. Amy smiled at his joke. "Amy, it's fine. She's going to be five. You told me it was a big year, a milestone worthy of a larger than normal celebration."
"Yes, I did say that. I do think that. But maybe we should give it to her some other time, not at the party? I don't want to make the other kids jealous," she suggested. "Plus, I don't want to be distracted. I can't wait to see her open it." Amy had already decided what books she would load on it first, and she couldn't wait to give Ada this gift, all the word's literature in the palm of her hand.
"Other kids? I'm jealous," Sheldon pouted.
"Well, if you're a very good boy, maybe I'll buy you one of your birthday, too."
"Really?" His eyes danced, and Amy laughed.
"So, you're just going to sit here for the next half-hour or however long is left on this massive update and watch the status bar?" she asked, leaning her hip against the edge the desk.
"What else is there to do? It's twelve after midnight," Sheldon responded.
"I would say sleep, but I suspect you've already ruled that out."
He grunted. "You don't have to stay up with me. I never asked you to." He paused. "Besides, we have a busy day tomor - today with my family arriving. Go back to sleep, I'll take care of this."
"No." Amy sighed softly. "I couldn't sleep without you there. I never sleep well when you're not there."
"Me, neither," Sheldon replied with equal softness.
Amy smiled and glanced down at the status bar on one of the iPads. Only one fourth downloaded. And then there would be set-up. So, yes, at least another half-hour. Did she want to spend it lonely and tossing in bed or - "Let's have Book Club!"
"Book Club?" He looked up, confused. "It's not Book Club Night."
"Ah! That's where you're wrong. It's officially Book Club Day - it has been for thirteen minutes now - and -" she waved her arm toward the black sky and bright building lights out the window "- it's officially night. Ergo, Book Club Night."
He studied her for a second. "It's impossible to argue with you when you are so logical."
Grinning, Amy said, "I know. How about this? I'll make us some nice warm mugs of tea, then I'll roll my desk chair over here by yours, and we can have Book Club by the glow of fresh technology."
"I can't resist when you make it sound so appealing."
"Please. You can never resist Book Club," Amy chuckled, and then she turned toward the kitchen. Flipping on only the dim light above the stove, she set the kettle to heat while she selected Sleepytime tea, which she thought would be the most soothing given the hour. When the mugs were prepared, she turned off the light and carefully carried them over to Sheldon, walking slowly to avoid any spills in the dark.
Once her chair was arranged next to his, and she was sitting down with her hands wrapped around the warm mug, she said, "The Positronic Man. This may be the most apropos Book Club selection yet."
"Not that you're proud of it or anything," Sheldon said as he took a drink.
"No." Amy smiled and shook her head. "How could I not pick it? Or at least one of Asimov's other famous robot tales? But a robot that continues to receive ever greater and more advanced updates? It's perfect."
"Siri is not a robot."
"I know that. But she's a virtual personal assistant, and that's close enough," Amy disputed.
"Incorrect. She's a knowledge navigator. She cannot pick up the dry cleaning by herself," Sheldon said.
"Oh, that she could," Amy sighed, taking another drink.
Sheldon's lips lifted at the corners before he took his own drink. He leaned back and turned slightly in his chair. "Are you saying you wish Siri was a robot? Like Andrew in the book?"
"Hmmm," Amy screwed up her mouth, "I don't know. On one hand, it would be nice to no longer have to perform tasks like that, or laundry or emptying the dishwasher. But, then - and I realize this was one of the points of the book - when does it all stop? Where do we draw the line in the sand, between mere automatons who must obey our every commend and something more?"
"I'm surprised," Sheldon said. "I thought you'd have 'Rights for Andrew' banners strewn around our home by now. You're still angry about how Voyager ended, and that was years ago."
Amy lowered her mug. "It wasn't that I support full human rights for holograms - I mean, I might in the future, because I love the Doctor so much - but I just found the ending so disappointing. Why clearly foreshadow that the Doctor was going to fight for holographic rights and then never mention it again? It's like writing a story without an outline. You have to know where you're going to know how to get there. It's a travesty to the art of story telling to just wing it as you go!"
Sheldon made that little hiccupy sound of amusement she so enjoyed. "Well, Andrew is instilled with The Three Laws and the Doctor was not. Does that make any difference?"
"In terms of character or in terms of how comfortable I'd be with that device as a personal assistant?"
He tilted his head. "Hmmm, good point. Either, then."
"Well, I found the Doctor a much more interesting character than Andrew. He was more conflicted, both within himself and with others. That's actually one of the things I didn't care for in this book. I never found myself that attached to Andrew. The Three Laws made him boring, bland. He just sort of went through life on auto-pilot."
"That's not true," Sheldon said. "He was constantly learning new things, expanding his knowledge, testing and stretching the bounds of robot rights."
"Yes, but . . . " Amy sought for a way to explain it. "I guess I meant he seemed like he was on emotional auto-pilot. He just never seemed to really feel anything. There were times, of course, that there were illusions to emotions, like when he reflected how everyone in his original family had died, but they all seemed like just observations of someone else's emotions, an intellectual description of what he thought a human should feel, not that he ever really experienced them himself."
"So you thought he was more like Data than the Doctor?" Sheldon asked. "I agree. But -" Sheldon took a breath "- I think perhaps I was more sympathetic to Data, too. I don't know why, really."
Amy smiled. "Because, in the end, Data showed he was capable of great love. Within himself, on a truly emotional level."
Sheldon nodded. "Are you frightened, then, that if a robotic Siri is developed that she would turn into Andrew? Or a whole army of Andrews?"
"I don't know. Especially after reading this book, I feel a little guilty saying yes, but . . . yes."
"Why guilty?" Sheldon asked, setting his now empty mug on his desk.
"I think we were meant to always come to the same opinion that Andrew had about himself. This book was written as very favorable to the idea that a machine could, with time and experience and technological updates, become a man. I thought all the arguments were very well presented - well organized and thoughtful if somewhat somber and heavy handed - both Andrew's and those that opposed him, but Andrew always won. But I actually didn't always agree with him." Amy shrugged. "Did you? I'm sure you did, you love the idea of robots."
Sheldon paused and took a deep breath. "I don't know. I liked this book as a mental exercise, as a thought experiment. However, when I've considered robots I've always been imagining my consciousness inside a robot. In other words, merely a mechanical shell for my brilliance once my body wears out. But could a mechanical mind grow to my level of brilliance all on its own? I just don't know." Sheldon shook his head. "It seems impossible for a robot to ever be as intelligent as me."
"There was something I thought was interesting. Of course, I can't read it now -" Amy gestured to all of their devices arranged in front of her, sucking up their own knowledge from the great cloud beyond "- but something about how all the new technologies made humans weak and helpless. At first the robots and other devices were a help, and then it was almost that they were enslaving humans because people were no longer able to function without their assistance. I can understand that. If Siri did do the laundry, for example, would we forget how to do it? Or would Ada ever learn to do it?"
Her husband frowned. "Interesting. Do you think we need to suspend the cleaners so Ada learns to clean the bathroom?"
Amy laughed. "I don't know if we need to go that far, but you make a valid point that at some point we need to discuss cleaning with her, the value of it, that we shouldn't take the cleaners for granted and such. Not -" she put her hand up "- right now. Or anytime soon. Four simple chores are plenty for a four - I mean, five - year old."
"Five tomorrow," Sheldon whispered, then shook his head, obviously clearing his mind. "Well, it pains me to say it, but it seems like such android bodies won't be available in our lifetime, so any concerns or fears you have are unfounded."
"Yes." Amy nodded, taking the last drink of her tea, and then her head sparked. "I just figured why we like Data and the Doctor more than Andrew!"
"Oh?"
"Because they were flawed. Andrew wasn't flawed; at least, not until he choose to be, at the end. He was too perfect. But Data and the Doctor were flawed all along, from the very beginning, and the story was about them working to overcome their flaws, not try to fight them. And that is the human experience. That is what made them so human to us."
"Humanity is defined by our flaws?" Sheldon asked.
"Yes. It's always what makes us interesting. And lovable."
"I don't think flaws make us lovable."
Amy smiled and reached for his hand. "Really? Because I've loved sitting up here with you tonight, because you were so impatient for this update and you're so obsessed with getting everything just perfect and synchronized."
"I don't think excitement and excellence in all tasks are flaws."
She leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Not to me."
"That's only because even my flaws are perfect," Sheldon said softly, turning and kissing her back, this time on the lips. And then he kissed her again. Amy peeked out of the corner of her eyes at the status bar. Still a third to go.
Rolling her chair and leaning in even closer, she nuzzled his ear. "Let's make love. To the luminosity of technology. I think we have the time."
Sheldon sat back and she saw him watching the status bar himself, gaging the minutes remaining. Then he looked over. "Luminosity of technology?"
Amy wiggled her eyebrows and nodded.
"Oh, woman, I love it when you talk dirty!"
Smothering her giggles with her free hand, Amy pulled him toward the sofa.
"That was . . . electric," Sheldon said.
Amy laughed into his damp chest. "Agreed." She sat up carefully, still pinning her naked husband to the sofa. "I guess we should probably get dressed."
"Yes, you're probably correct." They set to work picking up the strewn nightclothes, holding it up to determine whose it was was, and tossing it to that person. As the name quickie implies, their clothing had been removed in a rush.
"How's my hair?" Sheldon asked, smoothing his hand over his scalp.
"It looks like normal bed head," Amy replied. "You'll be washing it in a few hours anyway."
He opened his mouth to say something when the collection of devices chimed from the desk. Even though it was only a few feet away, he took off running and Amy raced, laughing, to catch up with him.
"Okay, okay," he said, rubbing his hands together as he sat down in his desk chair again. Amy watched as he maneuvered quickly through the first few primary set up questions and passwords. Finally, Amy saw the screen she knew he'd been waiting for and smiled.
He looked up at her and grinned. "Do you want to do the honers?"
"No, thank you." She stepped closer and rested her hand on his shoulder. "It means far more to you than me."
Sheldon cleared his throat. "Do I sound okay?"
"Are you worried you have deep, airy post-coital sex voice?" Amy asked.
"Do I?" His head turned to look up at her in a panic.
Amy laughed. "No! You sound like normal Sheldon. Not that it matters."
"It matters very much. It's the first time we're meeting."
Instead of replying, Amy rolled her eyes behind Sheldon's back in an indulgent manner. If he wasn't so excited and cute and nervous, she might have pointed out it was the exact same Siri she'd been all along . . . but she loved all of it.
"Okay, here it goes." Sheldon rubbed his palms against his pajama pants and took a deep breath. "Siri?"
His computer responded with her familiar chirp of acknowledgment.
"Form now on, your name will be . . . Computer."
"I will now respond to Computer," the familiar voice replied. "Please ask me a question."
"Computer?" The electronic chimed again and Sheldon bounced in his seat with glee. "What is the star date, using the modified Julian Day number method?"
"59975.1."
Sheldon clapped, actually clapped!, and Amy threw her head back in a very large belly laugh.
"Look, Mom, I'm ready!"
Amy turned from the island, where she was unpacking all the paper plates and other paper goods for the birthday party. Indeed, Ada had changed by herself into her orange-and-white striped dress purchased just for the occasion, but she wasn't wearing the orange tights. And, of course, her hair wasn't done.
"Ada, sweetheart, there are matching orange tights for that dress. Give me a minute and I'll help you put them on."
"But I want to wear these leggings! It's a cat party!" Ada protested, pointing down to her cheetah-print cover legs. A gift from Aunt Penny, of course.
"The theme of the party is Belle, as per your request, so orange and white are the theme colors. You have new orange tights to wear. And you know Belle isn't a cheetah, she's a domestic shorthair," Amy said firmly, opening a package of cups now, and glancing at Belle, sitting primly next to Ada, waiting to follow her where she went next.
Before Ada could respond, the chime of the door sounded. Amy started to walk toward the door, but Sheldon said, from where he was arranging balloons, "No, ask the computer. Facial recognition based on photographs is one of the updates, remember?"
"It has to be one of our friends or family if they knew the code in the vestibule," Amy said.
"But she'll never learn if you don't test her!" Sheldon called. Amy shook her head. When did they start calling their network "her"?
"Fine. Sir - Computer, who is at the door?"
"It appears to be Bernadette."
Amy had reached the door and looked though the peephole. "Correct." Siri chimed to convey she was adding the information to her database.
"Is Jacob here?" Ada asked running toward the door as Amy opened it.
Freezing with her hand on the knob, Amy exchange a slightly pained look with her petite friend just over the threshold.
"No, he and Lucy are coming with Uncle Howard later. I came early to help your mom set up," Bernadette explained. "And happy birthday!"
"It was two days ago, we're just observing it today," Ada said.
"Ada!" Amy corrected her.
"Sorry. Thank you," Ada looked down, chastised.
"Ada?" Sheldon said, coming to the door. "Hello, Bernadette. Listen, kid, let's go brush your hair."
Amy threw her husband a grateful smile and turned toward her friend. "Sorry," she said softly, as her husband and daughter turned down the hallway, Belle trotting behind them. "We haven't said anything to her yet."
"No, it's okay. Even if I was home, I would have still come early to help."
Nodding, Amy turned toward the island and informed Bernadette what her plans were. Her current mode of conversation with Bernadette was to let her talk if she needed to, but not to pry or bring up the uncomfortable topic on her own. And to only voice her opinion if directly asked for advice. But she remained honest with said advice, she would not lie or betray her strongly held beliefs even for her friend, who Amy sincerely hoped was just struggling and confused for the time being. She hoped so strongly that Howard and Bernadette could work this out, that she and Sheldon would never have to tell Ada that Bernadette was living with her parents for awhile for a trial separation - or elsewhere permanently. Anyway, they agreed Ada was too young to know all their friends private lives in general, and certainly before anything had been decided.
"Wow, that's a lot of balloons," Bernadette said as she helped Amy arrange the paper goods on the dining table. "Who blew them all up?"
"Sheldon rented a helium tank. Last night, all the guys came over and they ended up filling up balloons and siphoning off helium to recite their favorite movie quotes with it," Amy explained. "They got carried away, I think, in both activities. You should have seen them laughing at Darth Vader and Kylo Ren quotes."
Bernadette looked up the ceiling, where even more balloons had drifted, their orange strings hanging down. "No, I like it, it's festive." Then she added softly, "I bet Howie was funny."
Amy looked over at her carefully. "Hysterical."
Interrupting them came the sound of Ada running back down the hallway. "Look at my hair!"
Her hair was brushed, but it was still down. Holding it back was her black headband with cat ears that had formed part of her Halloween costume. Amy realized, too late, that she'd forgotten to tell Sheldon she'd envisioned two ponytails in all the birthday photos. But, she noticed, she was wearing the new orange tights and black Mary Jane shoes.
"I see it," she said to her daughter. "The headband is very . . . feline."
Sheldon leaned close and brushed a bit of hair away from Amy's ear before he whispered, "Compromise. She's wearing the tights and new shoes."
"You're right." Amy smiled, looking up at him. "But now with your new tee shirt, I feel left out."
Sheldon looked down at his shirt, which was a picture of Data holding his orange cat, Spot. She didn't even know he'd ordered it until it arrived yesterday. "I had it overnighted," he said, as though he'd heard her thoughts. "I thought it was appropriate in more than one way." He looked up. "Don't you have an orange cardigan?"
"Yes, but I'm already dressed," Amy explained.
"Go change," Bernadette offered. "Sheldon and I can manage this. You said the veggies for the tray are in the fridge?"
"Yes. Okay."
"It didn't turn out exactly like I wanted," Amy explained, taking the lid off the cake she'd made last night while the men blew up the balloons. "I thought it would be easy, but there's too much white on her chest."
"I think it's purrrrfect," Leonard quipped as he handed her candles. "What did Sheldon say?"
"That he thinks it's an improvement, that it looks like a shield or a crest, like she's a superhero cat. Although he's concerned eating a cake that looks like our cat is a form of symbolic endocannibalism since we're all part of the same tribe."
"Nah, if we were going to eat a member of our own tribe, we would have eaten him back when he was my roommate," Leonard said. Amy ignored it. "And Ada?"
"She hasn't seen it yet; I decorated it last night, after you left and she was in bed. It's a surprise." Leonard passed her the lighter, and she lit the top of each of the five orange candles.
"Where is the secondary guest of honor, anyway?"
"Hiding under Ada's bed, I think," Amy said, smiling at her work as she sat down the lighter.
Looking up, Amy caught Sheldon's eye and signaled to him. He yelled over the crowd, "Alright, everyone gather round the table. It's time for the cake!"
The children cheered and raced for the table, and Sheldon instructed Ada to move to the head of the table and then said, "Computer, lights!"
The lights went out, and everyone let out an awe as Amy carried the cake to the table to set it down in front of a beaming Ada. Then she quickly ran to the opposite end, dodging children, to pick up her phone and video the moment.
"Okay, on three!" Sheldon called. "One, two, three!"
"Happy birthday to you . . ."
As she sang and filmed and smiled broadly, Amy looked around the room. There were Mother and Mary Cooper, having found they had more than just a granddaughter in common during the past five years, who had chatted away at the party like old friends even though they could not have been more different. Missy and her two sons. The Hofstadters, Penny's stomach swollen once again with Leonard's hand on it, their children running circles around them, not that they were concerned. Raj was next to Amy filming his own video, and Stuart had come to rest his hand on his shoulder. The Kripke's had come: Barry holding Corrina and Sarah standing next to him. Then Howard and Bernadette standing next to each other, being civil for the day. Amy had to look away from Lucy's grip on Bernadette's side, where she'd hardly left once she'd arrived, and Jacob hiding behind Howard, singing and grinning at Ada.
But, regardless, they'd all come, everyone in their lives, who had helped them make it to this milestone in some fashion. Five years. The five years she'd been promised by Sheldon when Ada was an infant. No, they hadn't turned out exactly as she planned; she wasn't able to allow Ada and herself to remain blissfully ignorant for all of them as she'd hoped. But it didn't matter now. Today, Ada was surrounded by love and joy and only the brightest of horizons.
And, there, at the opposite end of the table, singing the very last notes of the song, he stood, as tall as and even more handsome than the first day she'd met him. There was applause as Ada bent over to blow out her candles, and his eyes flicked up to meet hers and they were smiling at her. Even though her camera was trained on Ada, recording every second, Amy, for that brief moment, only had eyes for Sheldon.
The corresponding After Dark chapter is Chapters 51: Celebrations.
As another year has passed for our Shamy, there is also a chapter of The Anniversary Evolution - Year Eight - that follows this Book Club/After Dark pair.
