Bet you thought you saw the last of me didn't you? MUAHAHAHA. (I hope you didn't actually think that. I've just always wanted to say it.)
Soooo, this one's a bit shorter but I like it. Hope you do too. Reviews bring me joy! :D
"-Like you could possibly understand anything about me. Maybe you should just stop trying. After all, you've never cared before now, why the sudden change of heart?"
Alfred, who was only just getting back after an evening out with Lovino and Ivan, only caught the tail end of the argument as Arthur shoved past him and exited the house, slamming the door behind. He couldn't help noticing the chill in his cousin's words as he turned to find Alistair and the twins staring toward the door where their brother disappeared.
Alfred wasn't sure if he should ask. After all, this argument was a family matter and no doubt having to do with how the brothers treated Arthur in the past. It must be personal. He moved to head to the stairs when Alistair called to him.
"Hey, Alf, you wouldn't mind helping us out, would you?"
"Not at all." Alfred blinked. "Anything."
Alistair sighed and rubbed a hand through his auburn hair. "You- you know I'm not the most… tactful bloke."
Shamus snorted.
"What Alistair is trying to say," Liam broke in, "is that he, once again, said something insensitive and hurt our little delicate flower of a brother."
Alfred frowned at the jab at Arthur, no matter how innocent. If they didn't realize it was those little jabs that hurt Arthur the most, they would never get anywhere in healing their past relationship. Was it even possible? Arthur held grudges like nobody Alfred had ever seen, and having to face the taunts of his brothers day after day throughout these years would only solidify their presence in his life as those of attackers, rather than the supportive brothers they were trying to be now.
"Do you really want my help?" Alfred crossed his arms. He may not be one of them, but if they were to get anywhere in fixing their family relations, they needed a wakeup call.
"Would I ask for it if I didn't?" Alistair glowered. Once that would have made Alfred shut up and back out the door, keeping his eyes on Alistair the whole way. But not now. Arthur needed a hero. And Alfred always strove to be such.
"Stop making jokes about him, for a start. All the jabs at him saying he's a delicate flower or a princess are downright cruel. So what if he has a collection of stuffed unicorns? So what if he likes to sew? Ridiculing him for what he likes to do completely breaks down any bridges you could have built by actually showing interest in what he's passionate about. Of course he's not gonna trust you or come to you for advice if you're just gonna laugh at him!" Alfred distantly noted that his fists were clenched at his side and there was a pounding in his ears and his voice may have been steadily getting louder and slipping back into his thick accent, but was far more focused on getting his point across. "Your job as his brothers is to support him and lift him up, not tear him down every chance you get. You've failed him again and again and again and you claim to be trying but I don't see any change in your actions or feelings that could convince Arthur that you want to change. For all he knows, this could just be some trick! And how much more would it hurt him if you slipped back into your old mockery and uncaring attitude toward his needs?"
By now Alistair was tugging at his hair with a clenched fist, while all laughter was gone from Shamus and Liam's faces as they toed the plush carpet. Alfred forced himself to calm down, a little guilty that he had gone spare on them when they had asked for his help.
"Look, I know you're trying to fix things. And things have been getting a little better, right?" He waited for the assuring nods before continuing. "But there's more to fixing this situation than just wanting to. You have to put in effort. You have to actually change how you think about him. It might be hard, cuz you've been treating him like this all your life, but don't even let yourselves think of him in any derogatory way, let alone say anything that would hurt him. Yeah, he is delicate. He's delicate because you made him that way by showing him that the people he respects the most and wants the approval of the most think he's pathetic and unworthy of attention. He probably thinks lower of himself than he thinks any of you do. Your first step is to show him that you know you're at fault and want to atone. Until you do that, he's not gonna trust anything you say or do to make him feel better."
"So, what, I gotta go digging up old dirty laundry so I can apologize for what I said as a kid?" Alistair didn't look too pleased.
"Do you honestly want to fix this for Arthur's sake or are you just doing it to ease your guilty conscience?" Alfred growled. "If he actually matters to you you'd do anything for him to be happy." He tried to suppress the ache he felt when thinking of his own brother. "You're damn lucky you have this chance to fix things, so don't come whining to me because it's too much trouble."
With a final glare, Alfred bounded up the stairs and into his room, closing the door firmly behind him. He flung himself upon his bed and pressed his face into his pillow, struggling to force away the images hiding beneath his eyelids. He'd had little time to think of Mattie as he struggled to befriend Lovino and Ivan, and he'd been so paranoid at school lately it was difficult to concentrate on anything, but as things calmed down, his mind worked overtime. He cursed his near-eidetic memory as the familiar images flashed before his eyes and the pressure of tears pushed to be released.
A gunshot.
A blur of movement.
Blood bubbling from his little brother's mouth as he fought to stay awake, to smile, to be the hero.
Those beautiful blue eyes dimming as the life left him.
The visions followed Alfred into a restless sleep, and when he woke the next morning he would wash the crusted salt from his cheeks, forcing the corners of his lips to pull up in front of the mirror. He would ruffle his hair and throw on his jacket, carefree attitude carefully in place, ready to face the world.
Because every day is a new day, but not everyone gets the chance to live it.
...sorry
I actually do love you guys. I just have a weird way of showing affection.
8i8
~sparklybutterfly42
