A/N Eh, at least you have R/M interaction in this chapter? All the good stuff comes later. I need to plan out the remaining chapters to know how long it's going to be. If only I had the time to do this. I see that I had fewer reviews for the last chapter than usual. That's understandable. It's a busy time of year. And you know, it kind of sucked. So thanks to those of you who did review, and to all of you who still read even when it sucks. R/R, and enjoy!
After a few minutes, Ryan finally managed to break the hug off first. He observed Marissa watch him, and almost smiled at her scrutiny, the way her eyes furrowed as she looked him over. It reminded him of when they were kids and she would look him over after he fell off his bike, trying to assess if he needed a band-aid, or of all the times she looked him over before taking him to one of the social events. "Your hair is shaggy again."
He nodded, absent-mindedly running a hand through his hair. It wasn't that long, but it had started falling into his eyes again. The last few months he'd barely even thought about it. "Yeah. It grew out. I haven't gotten a haircut in a while."
"It was so short earlier in the year though." She brushed some of his hair away, biting her lip as she looked him over. Somehow in the six months since she'd last seen him he'd gotten even more attractive. Had his eyes always been this blue? Jaw this chiseled? Muscles this pronounced? He'd obviously taken up exercising in his last few months at Amy's house. "I see you haven't shaved in a few days."
He rubbed his hand over his scruffy face, nodding. "Well, I was a little busy trying to get here as fast as I could."
She paused and looked into his eyes, slightly blushing as she remembered how needy she'd sounded in her email. Though, she couldn't regret it. Ryan was finally home. "When did you get in?"
Ryan shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Earlier this morning. I went to mom's house and showered and had some breakfast. She told me you were here – so here I am."
She bit her lip, slightly upset that Ryan had been in town for a few hours and she'd missed it. Back when he'd first left she had this fantasy that he'd drive to her apartment first and declare how wrong he'd been and how much he'd missed her. Before she'd dated Andrew, she would even fantasize their kiss. Some nights she'd even dreamt about their reunion. Some of these dreams were not exactly PG.
She blinked a few times, shaking the thoughts from her head. "You could've called. Told me you were coming."
He shrugged again, smiling. "Where's the fun in that?" She gave him a look and he laughed. "I'm here now."
"Yes." Her face broadened into the most beautiful smile. "You are."
He gestured in the direction of the building she'd come from. "What's going on with the banquet hall?"
She furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"
"The banquet hall." At her blank look, he added, "You were upset on the phone. I saw you before I called. You were all frantic and doing that thing with your hands." She still just stared at him, not able to make the connection. At this moment she couldn't even remember who she'd been on the phone with, or what building he was talking about. The only thing that seemed to matter was Ryan here right in front of her. "The banquet hall for the wedding. You know, the thing that's happening in a week."
She finally understood. "Oh, right. That." She had honestly completely forgotten about the entire wedding for a few minutes, so wrapped up in seeing Ryan again. "The lady booked us the wrong hall. We need the large, or at least the medium, but she says we asked for small, which is absurd. My mom is Julie Cooper. She doesn't make mistakes."
Ryan thought for a moment, then said, "Let's go talk to her."
"I already did and the lady working there right now but she just isn't listening." Ryan started walking toward the building, and Marissa stared after him. "Ryan, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to get this figured out." He continued walking, and Marissa had to nearly run to catch up with him.
Breathless, she said, "I told you, she's not listening."
He opened the door and gestured her through, letting it shut noisily behind him. "She'll listen to me."
When they reached the lady at her desk, she immediately sighed. "Look, I just told your fiancé…"
Ryan just stared at her, not bothering to correct her. "I need the larger hall."
She met his stare straight on. "You're booked for the small one."
Ryan nodded, trying not to be polite. "Is there an available larger hall?"
She nodded, looking down. "Yes, but…"
He shrugged. "Well, change us to the larger hall."
She sighed. "Policy states that I can't change halls within two weeks."
He nodded. "Okay. I understand. You're following the rules. I get it." He drummed his fingers on the desk. "Is your manager here?"
"No, she is currently out." The lady bit her lip. "Would you like me to call her?"
Ryan nodded, grateful. "Yes. Please."
"Just a minute."
As she dialed the number, Marissa pulled Ryan aside. "Ryan. It's fine. We'll figure something out." Right now she could care less about this damn banquet hall. Let her mom figure it out. She was the one who insisted on this location anyway. Marissa was fine with not having a wedding reception. At the very least, not having a large elaborate one that her mom desired. It all seemed rather pointless.
Ryan, however, shook his head. He'd failed Marissa in a lot of areas the past year. He'd broken up with her. He'd broken her heart. He'd hurt her time and time again all those mornings after they had sex. He'd left her without saying goodbye. He told her to move on and forget about him. He hadn't called as often as he should have. He'd messed up so much – but this, this he could fix. "No, I can fix this."
The lady lifted the phone. "Here you go."
Ryan took the phone and lifted it to his ear. "Hi. My name is Ryan. My friend Marissa is supposed to get married in a week and there seems to have been a mix-up with paperwork. She needs a larger hall than she is booked for. Now, I understand policy states that we are not supposed to change halls within two weeks. I, however, happen to have five hundred dollars in my wallet. I also have a checkbook and am very capable of paying you well for this trouble." He paused, looking between Marissa and the lady, his gaze lingering on Marissa's expectant face. he couldn't fail her. He wouldn't. Not again. He would buy the whole damn building if he had to. "So, is there any way we can break policy just this once, or do I need to take my checkbook elsewhere?"
The guy on the other end quickly said, "That won't be necessary. I'm sure we can have this all figured out. Let me talk to Cindy."
Ryan handed over the phone to Cindy. "Here, he wants to talk to you."
Ryan and Marissa watched her talk, nodding as she listened to what her boss told her. After she hung up, she smiled and said, "Looks like we can get you into that bigger hall after all."
After they filled out more paperwork and Ryan wrote a check, he and Marissa walked outside together. Marissa looked over at her best friend in amazement. "You totally just saved the wedding." He merely shrugged, looking down. "Then again, you have been gone for six months. You owe me."
He smiled, lifting his eyes to see her smiling at him. "I really do."
At that moment Andrew came up to them, his eyebrows furrowed. "Marissa, I got here as soon as I could. What's going on?"
Marissa shook her head. "There was a problem, but Ryan fixed it." She looped her arm through Ryan's arm and smiled at him.
Andrew just then noticed Ryan's presence. His face broke into a smile. "Ryan! You're back."
Ryan nodded, smiling politely. "Yeah. Couldn't miss the wedding of the century."
Andrew laughed. "Julie definitely has made it quite elaborate." He look turned more serious. "I'm glad you're here. I'm sure it means the world to Marissa."
Ryan flexed the muscle in his jaw, nodding. Marissa, meanwhile, looked between the two men in her life. Her fiancé and her best friend. How surreal was this? The guy she was going to marry next to the guy she'd always thought she would marry. Things had really changed. She kept her gaze on Andrew. "Are you sure you don't need me to go pick up Jess and the girls? Or I could go talk to the caterers so that you could pick her up.."
Andrew shook his head, smiling. "No, I'm fine. Katherine promised to pick them up. The two are friends of sorts these days." He looked down at his watch. "I should be going though. I'm supposed to meet with Jolene in half an hour to make a final rundown of the order." He turned to Ryan. "Ryan – salmon or chicken?"
Ryan glanced Marissa's way, then back at Andrew. "Chicken."
Marissa smiled, and Ryan would have smiled if this wasn't such a horrible situation. Andrew nodded. "Okay, cool. I'll make sure to add more chicken then." Andrew smiled at Marissa. "I'll see you in a few hours?"
She nodded, leaning in and pecking his lips out of habit. "Yeah. See you for dinner."
Ryan tried not to look, quickly averting his eyes, not wanting to even see this small act of affection. How was he ever going to get through this week? The wedding? Watching her tell Andrew how much she loved him? Watching their first kiss as a couple? Or the rest of his life having to witness the small affectionate moments between the two?
But Marissa loved Andrew. He had to get used to it.
"See you later, Ryan," Andrew said, smiling genuinely.
Ryan forced a smile. "You too."
He watched Andrew walk away, wanting to go after him. They needed to have a talk. Soon. But Marissa came to stand in front of him, blocking his view. "So, do you want to hang out for a few hours?"
He turned to her and smiled. "Aren't you supposed to have lunch with mom?"
She shrugged, her eyes sparkling. "I'm sure your mom would understand if I rescheduled this once."
His smile widened as he thought of spending the next few hours with Marissa. "Okay, I think I might have room in my super busy schedule to hang with you for a few hours."
She laughed. "Here, let me call your mom and tell her I can't make lunch."
As she reached for her phone, he looked over her shoulder where Andrew was disappearing in the distance. "You do that, and I'm going to my car. I think I left the doors unlocked." She paused, looking at him, hesitant. He observed her and realized she was afraid of letting him out of her sight. Reaching for her hand, he gently squeezed it. "I'm just going to my car. I promise I won't drive away."
She blinked a few times, obviously not convinced, but then nodded slowly. "Okay."
He squeezed her hand again, then let go and hurried after Andrew. He caught up with him right at his car. "Andrew."
Andrew turned, surprised to see Ryan. "Ryan.."
Ryan forcefully backed Andrew against his car. "We need to have a talk."
Andrew looked at Ryan seriously. They'd had a talk like this before, and it hadn't ended well for Ryan. "Ryan, you said it was okay. You emailed…"
Ryan shook his head. "No. Not that." He exhaled slowly, looking down. He had a million things he wanted to tell Andrew. There were a million things that Andrew needed to know before he could ever think about marrying Marissa, and Ryan would make sure he knew every single one. "Marissa doesn't like raisins. She hates them. They make her sick." He shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Sometimes she wakes up early to make waffles before work. They taste horrible." He smiled sadly. "But she doesn't know that. Always eat them all so she doesn't ever taste it. It would break her heart if she knew the truth."
He swallowed hard. "She has to see her butter on her toast or she won't eat it. I've told her a million times how bad that is for her, but she doesn't care. She has to see the butter. She sometimes cries when listening to sad songs, but if you put on the Copacabana she'll sing and laugh so hard she can't breathe. If you can, never buy roses. Always buy lilies. They're her favorites. But if you really want to make her happy, bring her a Dandelion. Bring her a dozen. Pick them yourself. She is like a little kid with those."
Ryan lifted his eyes to Andrew's, swallowing hard once again. "She is the most amazing person you will ever meet. The most beautiful. But she doesn't know it. No matter how many times you tell her, she doesn't believe you." He looked down, flexing his jaw. "She is deathly afraid of thunderstorms. Not even Summer knows. She shakes like crazy, but if you hold her she calms down. The minute you let go, she starts shaking again." He lifted his gaze again and placed his hand on Andrew's shoulder, staring him straight in the eye. "And Andrew… if you ever hurt her.."
Andrew immediately understood, nodding. "I wouldn't."
Ryan nodded. "But if you did…" He stared at Andrew seriously, conveying with one look what no act of violence could do.
"I won't," Andrew promised, touched by Ryan's words.
"For your sake I hope you don't," Ryan merely said, taking a step back. He stared at Andrew long and hard, then offered his hand to shake. Andrew reached out and shook it firmly. "I told you before… make her happy."
Andrew nodded. "I will. Every day."
Ryan looked down, flexing the muscle in his jaw again. "I know you will."
When he reached Marissa again, she smiled in relief. That more than anything made him feel sick. "You came back."
He smiled, offering his arm for her to loop hers through. "I told you I would."
She looped her arm through his, happily walking down the pier. "I know. But you were gone for six months."
He nodded, his smile falling away. "I'm sorry. For leaving. For not telling you. For not saying goodbye…"
When he trailed off, she spoke up. "For staying away. For not calling more. For not replying to my emails. For hurting your mom…" Ryan had left her and she was glad he was back, but she wouldn't let him just waltz back into her life like nothing had happened. He would understand what she'd been through. He would see what it did to her.
He glanced her way and saw her looking down, frowning. He'd known this conversation was coming. Maybe things had been light between them earlier, but they had to have this talk. He had to apologize and she had to believe him. "For everything. I'm sorry for everything. You deserved better. You deserve better."
She looked up and met his gaze, not looking away. She would stay strong. "I was so hurt for a really long time."
He exhaled slowly, nodding. "I can imagine."
"No, you can't," she said bluntly. She shrugged, pulling her arm away, needing to distance herself from him. She couldn't "Cause I would never leave you. I would never just run away."
He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Marissa…"
"No, Ryan. Let me say it. You hurt me. You hurt me so much, and I wanted to hate you for it. I wanted to be able to sit with Summer and talk bad about you and eat ice cream and just feel angry."
When she grew silent, he softly asked, "Did you?"
She shook her head, lifting her gaze to his, eyes sad but not watery. "No. Because as much as I wanted to hate you… it's you. I can't hate you. I can be really mad at you. I can hate what you did. But I can't hate you."
He stopped them so that they were leaning against the pier. He wanted to look at her as they talked, wanting to see those eyes he'd missed more than anything. He needed to see how much he'd hurt her. He needed to see how much he'd messed up.
Maybe if he did, he would be able to sit through this wedding knowing he deserved it.
"I never should've left," he said quietly, looking out at the water. "But if I hadn't, we'd still be in that same cycle. I'd keep coming to your apartment and you'd keep letting me and we'd have an amazing night. We'd call ourselves friends and it would go on and on." He looked at her seriously. "And I'd keep hurting you, and you'd keep letting me."
She didn't know what to say to this. He had been hurting her all those months even when he was there. But at least he had been there. At least she had been able to see him. "You could've called more."
"I would've run back and we would've started the cycle all over again," he said quietly.
She knew this was true. "I don't think I ate or slept the first few weeks. It's all a blur." She lifted her eyes to his. "I was a wreck. You can ask your mom. She kept telling me you were okay and I kept wondering why you couldn't even call me once like you did her." She looked down, smiling sadly. "And then you did, and you broke my heart into a million little pieces all over again."
"I didn't know when I was coming back. If I was. You needed to move on." He looked out at the water, unable to look at her as he said, "I'm glad you did."
She wanted to say that she hadn't moved on – but she had, hadn't she? She was getting married to another guy. "Andrew was there for me. We were just friends at first – that's all I could promise him. He wanted more, but I was too hung up on you." She turned to the water now, biting her lip as she remembered the first weeks of her relationship with Andrew. "He was just what I needed."
Ryan nodded, flexing the muscle in his jaw once again. It would be sore by the end of the week. "I'm glad he was there for you when I couldn't be."
She picked at the wooden railing, looking down. "You know, he was there when I needed to rant about work. He was there when a kid broke his arm at recess. He let me cry when my favorite couple broke up on TV. He made me laugh after a long day. He made me smile when I didn't think I could anymore." She lifted her gaze to observe him. He was staring out at the water as he listened, his hair blowing in the breeze, his hands clenched in fists as she told him all the ways Andrew had been there when he wasn't. And in that moment she knew that Ryan still cared. Maybe he was here to watch her marry another guy, but the boy who had made her prom perfect and kissed away her tears when she failed her first test in college was still there. Her Ryan was still there.
She'd been so worried when he was gone, wondering exactly who would come back. He was gone for a really long time – what if he stopped being the guy she'd fallen for? What if he stopped being her best friend? What if he became someone else entirely, and all the things that made him Ryan disappeared as the months tumbled by?
But now she knew that Ryan was still here. Her Ryan was still here. She bit her lip, then softly said, "But I wanted to be crying to you." Ryan looked over at her, eyes the deepest blue. "I wanted to tell you about my bad days. I wanted to get upset with you about the TV show. We'd watched it together – you would know what I was talking about." She placed her hand over his. "I wanted my best friend. Even after we broke up – you were never just my ex. You were always my best friend. And then you left, and you weren't anything anymore."
He looked down at their hands, feeling his whole body tingle with only her touch. He'd forgotten how intoxicating Marissa was, how much he was unstrung just being around her. "If the position is still open, I know someone totally willing to fill it," he said, offering a half smile.
She laughed and then shut her mouth, nodding. "I think that would be great."
XXXXX
Maybe next week I'll start narrowing down the options for my future stories. Be thinking of what you want. And also tell me if you haven't voted yet.
Individual Replies:
xoElle23: I just want you to know that your review made me smile like a crazy person and I think you are a wonderful and sweet human being and am so incredibly lucky to have you as a reader and reviewer.
Nadine: Well holy crap dude, are you okay?
Sailaway: Aw, you're so good at picking up on small details :)
Sara: Definitely more R/M in this chapter haha. And in every chapter from here on out :)
Riss: I think the three to four hours I spend a week writing this are the only hours during the week entirely mine.
Skillz37: I will say that this will go on to the wedding. But the question is who is going to stop the wedding. As the wedding nears, the list of possibilities will grow.
Guest: Thank you for spoiling me with your review :)
Jen: haha not exactly.
