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This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Word Prompt: Prepare

Friday, 16 March


I stared at the giant dry-erase calendar on my office wall, at the big red box I'd drawn around the seventeenth, and felt nothing but frustration. I had been counting the days until I got to see Bella since the minute I walked out her door in Seattle almost a month ago. And up until Wednesday, things had been great. We'd talked, texted, and Skyped just as we'd planned, and even managed to get a little dirty as we played show and tell through our video cameras. It wasn't perfect, but it was all we had, and we both knew that. We were both excited about and looking forward to our trip to Sonoma. We'd talked about things we both wanted to do. So, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on between us.

I glanced at my phone and frowned. It wasn't even six in the morning in Seattle, and I was already itching to call her. Things had not ended on a positive note last night, and I hated the unresolved feeling sitting on my chest.

To be honest I wasn't even sure what had caused the fight, if you could even call it that. She'd made some comment about her job. I'd make some wise-crack, trying to lift her spirits, which resulted in her telling me I wasn't taking her frustrations seriously. Surprised, I'd told her I was only trying to lighten the mood, to make her laugh; it hadn't worked. The more I'd tried to explain, the more irritated she'd gotten until she eventually hung up on me. I had clearly misread her tone, but her response seemed so over the top. I just didn't get it.

After she'd hung up, I'd tried calling her three different times, and they'd all gone straight to voicemail. The two texts I'd sent apologizing went unanswered. After waiting up until close to one in the morning for her to respond, I'd gone to bed, slept like shit, and woke up with a pounding headache. The same one I was still battling.

Another few minutes passed before I decided to just let things lie. She clearly needed some space, and if she hadn't called or messaged or something by lunch, I would try her again.

As the morning slipped by, I tried to think about something else, but I couldn't concentrate. My mood was shit, and after snapping at a couple different people, I decided it was best to lock myself in my office and try to get some work done.

By lunch, it was clear she wasn't going to call, and even though I still didn't quite understand what was going on or why things had ended so badly, I bit the bullet and dialed her number.

Voicemail.

I tried again.

Straight to voicemail.

After taking a deep breath, I shot off a quick text asking her to call when she got a minute and that I loved her. I didn't want there to be any doubt on that point. We may have been having our first fight, but it didn't change how I felt about her.

I looked at the picture of us we'd taken in Seattle. She was smiling, her head against my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her. We both looked so happy, and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of that day. After hiking back to our car, we'd ask an older gentleman to take it after we'd both realized we didn't have any pictures of us together. My heart flip-flopped at the memory – that was the day she'd told me she loved me, that she wanted to make it all work, that we'd made love… finally. Basically one of the happiest days of my life.

So as I glanced over to the calendar again, the big red box that should have left me feeling ecstatic did nothing except leave me apprehensive and unsure. We were supposed to fly in to San Francisco and then get a rental car and go north. I had no doubt we would, but would things still feel so crappy and unsettled? I sure as hell hoped not.

~*WS*~

By eight that night, I still hadn't heard from her, and I was getting worried. I'd already packed everything I could, and with nothing left to do but wait, I felt even more anxious than I had earlier in the day. Surely she couldn't still be upset with me, I thought as I dialed her number.

The phone rang, an improvement over going straight to voicemail, and after a few rings, she finally answered the phone.

"Hey." Her tone was flat, and even though I knew she was upset I wasn't prepared for it.

"Hey," I said cautiously. There was an awful tension between us, and I hated it.

I waited for her to say something, anything, and when I realized she wasn't going to, I started rambling.

"Please talk to me, Love. Don't shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out," she snapped and then quickly drew in a sharp breath.

Then what the hell do you call it?

But before I actually said that, I thought better of it. Getting upset would only exacerbate the situation, and we clearly didn't need that.

"Okay," I said, drawing it out in hopes of her actually saying something. She didn't.

I thought back over the last two days' worth of phone calls and decided to try a different tact.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I honestly don't know what I did to upset you, but I'm genuinely sorry."

I heard sniffles on the other end of the line, and that crummy feeling you get when you know you've screwed up but can't quite explain why settled in the pit of my stomach.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm just being… stupid."

"Please don't cry, Sweet girl. I hate that you're crying." I honestly did. I never knew what to do with her tears, and knowing that I was all the way across the country and couldn't do a thing about them made me feel like shit.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have hung up on you last night. I was just so upset and frustrated, and I…"

"Why?" I prodded.

"It's stupid."

"Just tell me, please."

And so she did. She told me how she'd had a terrible day on Wednesday, something I already knew, but then she added onto it. After dealing with the situation at work, apparently she'd started her period (which totally sucked since our trip was coming up, but it wasn't something we couldn't deal with or work around), but to her it was a huge deal. Then when I'd started teasing her about something completely unrelated (that she couldn't even remember, anymore), her feelings had gotten hurt. Then on Thursday, she started dwelling on the fact that our trip wasn't going to go as planned and how she was worried I'd be upset about it. So, by the time we started talking late last night, she had completely worked herself up into a frenzy, which I'd noticed but had tried to laugh off as nerves, which only served to upset her more….

When she finished, she was crying softly, and I was exhausted and emotionally confused. Vic had always been sort of cool and steady and rarely got worked up about things. Since Bella and I had started dating, we hadn't fought, and I was definitely not used to the ups and downs. Everything of significance, especially the tenser moments, had always been dealt with face-to-face. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that something like this – a misunderstanding that had gone completely down hill – had happened over the phone over something completely stupid, but it didn't change the fact that it sucked.

"Bella, first of all, I love you. You know that right?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice quiet and teary.

"Good. Second, I'm sorry I misread the situation over the last two days. I didn't mean to upset you, Love. Not even close. So, I'm sorry about that.

"And third, I don't give a shit if you're on your period. All I care about is seeing you and spending time with you. The fact that you're on it means nothing to me and isn't going to ruin our trip. Okay?"

I heard her sniffle again. "Really?"

"Sweet girl, of course it doesn't matter. Do you really think I'm that shallow? That I honestly care if you're bleeding a little? I don't. Not even a little."

She hiccupped, and in a still watery voice, said, "Okay."

We sat in silence for a second, but something was nagging at me; I needed to get it off my chest.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate to even say this because I don't want you to get upset or think I'm mad at you. I'm not. Hear me when I say that. But it really sucks that you didn't just talk to me. I know you were upset, but shit like this is going to happen. Normally, it probably wouldn't be a big deal, but with the distance and not being able to see each other, things get amplified and blown out of proportion." I paused, still thinking but quickly pressed on.

"We have to talk to each other, Sweet girl. We can't shut each other out. If we need time to process or deal or something, then we should just say it. It really sucked not hearing from you all damn day. I knew you were upset, but you didn't give me a chance to make it right. And that…"

left me feeling like complete crap.

pissed me off.

fucking hurt.

"sucked."

She'd started crying again, which hadn't been my intention. I should have just left it alone until we were face-to-face, so I could have pulled her in my arms and looked into her eyes.

"Please don't cry. I'm not upset or mad. Okay? I just needed to say that."

I could hear her trying to stifle her sniffles. "I've missed you, Baby," I said softly, trying to use the only thing I had – my voice – to convey how I felt.

"Me too, Handsome. So much." She drew in a ragged breath.

"You're right," she said. "I know you are. It was like once I got myself worked into a tizzy I couldn't get out, and then I started thinking about how our trip wasn't going to be what I thought it was, and I started dwelling and taking everything to seriously… I'm sorry, Edward."

The brokenness in her voice told me just how sorry she was. I wished I could see her face.

"Thank you, Love. But there's nothing to forgive. Let's just put this behind us and move forward, okay?"

We talked a little more, the lightness that was normally between us returning with a newfound fragility. I hoped seeing each other would firm things up, put us back to rights, so to speak. As we said good night, both reluctant to hang up but eager for the night to pass quickly, I reminded her again of how excited I was to see her, that I couldn't wait to spend the week with her, that I loved her more than anything.

"And Bella, just for the record, you could be covered in zits, be five-hundred pounds, and have a mustache, and I would still want you. It's you that I love. Got it?"

She giggled. "Got it."

"Night, Pretty girl."

"Night, Handsome. See you tomorrow."

As I plugged my phone in to charge, I finally felt like I could breathe.


Thanks for all the love, pretties. I think I got through all the review replies. Thanks to prettykittyartist for the lovely mention in her story, Snapdragon. If you aren't reading it, check it out and leave her some love.

Voting for the Age of Edward contest is open and runs through the 22nd (Wed). I've got an entry in there (The Minstrel and the Maiden Swan, Young Adult Category), and there are lots of other great ones. If you haven't already, go check them out and vote for your faves! I'm almost through all of them and have found some really lovely gems. Seriously, go check them out! ageofedward dot com.