Chapter 51
Sakumo sat in the waiting room with Gai.
"Kakashi isn't going to be out for more than a week," Sakumo said. "You can't sit here every day."
"I can, and I will. I'm glad we finished my mission early so I could be here when he needs me. I don't want him to think I don't care."
"He knows you care," Sakumo said.
"It's just something I have to do," Gai said. "I can't let my rival get behind on his training. I need to remind him that our rivalry is still waiting when he gets out."
Sakumo smiled. "You two really do sharpen each other. I'm glad he has you for a friend."
He managed to talk Gai into leaving at 10. "That way you can get enough sleep to come back tomorrow. You won't be much of a rival if you're too worn out to fight him."
Tsunade showed up about that time, looking tired and beautiful. "I could really use a drink," she said. "I'd settle for just getting off my feet. You want to walk me home, handsome?"
She has all the subtlety of a kunai to the gut, he thought. There was a time when that would have repulsed him, but now he didn't mind so much. Things have changed.
It was an awkward walk to her place. I don't even know her that well, he thought.
Tsunade rattled on about work, ninjas, all sorts of things. Sakumo was barely listening. It's been a long time, he thought. I can't believe I'm actually nervous about this.
He remembered the way women used to throw themselves at him. It wasn't like that with Tsunade. She was taking him, and he liked it.
When they reached her house she threw a sly look at Sakumo and smirked as she unlocked the door.
"I have some lovely sake I was saving for a special occasion," she said.
She poured the sake in delicate porcelain cups and sat on the couch with her long legs crossed under her. Sakumo couldn't help but admire her long, well-toned legs.
Tsunade lit a few candles and clapped her hands. The lights lowered, and she clicked a remote – turning on a slow jazz track from somewhere in the room.
She planned this out, Sakumo thought.
Tsunade tossed her sake back in one quick gulp. He followed suit. "It's good," he said.
She poured more for him. "You know what they say about women and sake don't you?" she asked with a smirk.
He hadn't even noticed that he'd finished his sake before she poured him another one. "No," he said. "Wahs that?" I'm slurring, he thought. This stuff is strong.
Tsunade sat the sake aside and leaned toward him. She pushed him back onto the couch and climbed on top of him.
"They say sake can make the best woman turn into an animal."
"I always liked animals," Sakumo said.
She pulled his mask off in one quick, rough motion and kissed him – biting his lip slightly. "Let's go to the bedroom," she said.
They didn't quite run, but they went faster than was dignified. When they reached the bed she pushed him onto it. "Animals take what they want," she said. "I know what I want."
"Then take it," Sakumo said. It felt so good to let someone else decide for him just this once – to let her control his ruined life.
He lifted his hips slightly as she pulled at his pants, but she didn't seem to need much help other than that.
She grabbed his arms, and he couldn't help the small noise of pain that came out.
"Does that hurt?" she asked. She began to kiss his neck, biting occasionally.
I'll have fucking bruises later, he thought.
She tightened her grip, causing real pain this time. "I asked you a question," she said.
"Yes," he said. "Make it hurt more."
"I thought you might be the type," she said. She didn't make love to him so much as conquer him.
When they finished she leaned down and kissed him. "This was a good idea," she said.
He was glad when she let him pull her close. I really thought she'd leave afterward. They kissed, and she fell asleep in his arms.
He woke with the feel of her skin next to her, and he put his head close to her hair and inhaled deeply. Strawberries, he thought.
"Mmmm," Tsunade murmured in her sleep. She pushed back against him, fitting closely to his body.
Sakumo put his hand around her, feeling the muscular skin of her stomach. He preferred his women softer – more civilian. Kunoichis tended to be too hard – in body and soul for him.
He imagined that stomach swollen, with a small hand or foot poking at his hand from inside.
I loved touching Kakashi's little hand inside his mother, he thought. His wife had let out a squeak of pain when Kakashi had jumped or pushed, and she would always say that he wanted to get out.
Tsunade sat up and ran her hands through her hair. "That was a hell of a night," she said.
She stood and walked toward the bathroom, and he watched her perfect body as she moved away from him. He might have preferred imperfections, but what he was seeing was pure art.
She came out, still naked. He imagined her holding a large belly, streaked with stretch marks. Her eyes would be tired, and her face a little fat, but she would be so beautiful.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.
"I was just thinking that you would be so beautiful pregnant."
"That's something a man never said to me before," she said. She crawled back under the blankets with him. "Are you thinking about having more children, because I'm really not the type."
"No," Sakumo said. "I guess I was just thinking about the one I lost. I can't help it."
"I don't think you've lost him," Tsunade said. "He loves you."
Her words weren't comforting. They should have been, but everything was hollow when he thought of his son.
"Could you do something for me?" he asked.
"Sure," she said. "I'm into some weird stuff. What is it?"
"I just want to hold you," he said. I miss that even more than sex, he thought.
She lay against him again, and he ran his hand across that smooth stomach. In his mind it became full of life – full of Kakashi moving and squirming.
He heard Tsunade snore gently. I hope she comes back, he thought. I know this doesn't mean anything to her, but I need her here. I can't stay alone like this.
He knew that others loved him, but he needed someone to hold at night – a warm body to welcome him.
