At the bottom of this chapter will be a little announcement in regards to this story. Don't worry, it's nothing that major. In fact, it pertains to the large gap between this and the last chapter which I apologize for.

Published March 12, 2011

Friday November 9th: Week 10, Day 50

"CLASS IS IN SESSION!" Ganondorf looked across his classroom, taking in their varying expressions. He joyfully inhaled their fear, letting out a satisfied sigh. "I love it. God help me I love it... I MUST HAVE MORE! Who haven't we brought in yet?"

A list floated to Mewtwo's eye level. He glanced over it, mentally noting the abundance of checkmarks. "We actually need to get rid of more people than we need to get. All we need is Red."

Ganondorf snatched the list from the air, reading it fervently. "So these are who I need to MAIM BEYOND REPAIR? I LOVE IT! Except that one, I felt like I was just starting to like that Mewtwo."

"I'm in the next one."

"I have list right here, you're gone."

With a thought the paper was once again in Mewtwo's possession. "What's going on here?" the psychic Pokémon angrily thought. "I'm an original character with unique moves. Why am I gone?"

"No idea. NOW... I believe there was no Pichu on that list so either evolve into Pikachu or DIE!"

Pichu cowered in his chair, not liking being the in the centre of Ganondorf's vision. "B-but I can only evolve if I like my trainer."

"Well either LIKE ME or LIKE DEATH!"

"Please stop yelling..."

"TO FUCK WITH HELL, I LOVE YELLING! NOW EVOLVE!"

Pichu closed his eyes, focusing really hard on loving Ganondorf and becoming bigger. After a few seconds of failure he cracked an eye open. Ganondorf was sharpening his sword.

Suddenly, Pichu began to flicker. "What's this? Pichu is evolving!" Roy exclaimed. "Dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN daaa DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN daaa!" There was a flash of light. "Poof! Pichu has evolved into Galleom! Wait, what?"

What was formerly a tiny yellow rodent was now a massive bipedal transforming robot. "That was unexpectable," Ganondorf commented. "I need to force change more often."

"WHOA!" Galleom, attempting to walk forward, fell over and ended up knocking Giga Bowser off his feet. The spiked shell of the giant fell on top of several students. "So... disoriented."

"Okay that's enough adjusting time for you. Seeing as it's Friday I think we should learn how to use SMASH ATTACKS! I'll demonstrate." Ganondorf thrust his elbow into Donkey Kong's face, the resulting explosion launching the primate through the wall and out of the school. "Everyone go down to wherever he is!"

Diddy Kong took a sip of his tea. "I say good sir, that was not a very gentlemanly action."

"The stereotype will be punching bag today." Ganondorf grabbed Diddy by the tail and jumped out of the hole created by his assault of one of Nintendo's first iconic characters, landing harshly on the chest of his simian cushion.

It didn't take long for the whole class to assemble outside. They knew the pains caused by resistance at this point. Escape was futile. Satisfied that he had broken their hopes of escape, Ganondorf held up the chimp and dangled him in front of their eyes. "Smash attacks are really strong attacks executed by pressing C-stick in any compass direction."

Fox let out a small chuckle. Ganondorf's highly trained ears were able to pick this up and, immediately enraged by his insolence, he turned at the anthropomorphic animal, snarling wildly. "YOU DARE LAUGH AT THE GREAT GANONDORF?"

He shrugged, obviously uninterested in the current happenings. "Not at you per say, just how you use the C-stick."

Ganondorf grabbed Fox by his collar and removed his reflector from his belt. The evil king punched it a few times before reattaching it. "NOW YOUR REFLECTOR SUCK AT KILLING PEOPLE. That's what you get for laughing at the great Ganondorf! Have fun in mid-tier, bitch!"

-A few minutes later-

Contrary to Ganondorf's earlier words, everyone had paired off to practice smashes on each other. He walked between them, observing them as they obliterated each other systematically.

"Mama-mia," Mario whimpered as Giga Bowser charged one of his devastating smash attacks.

"STOP BEING OFFENSIVE TO ITALIANS!" Ganondorf kicked Mario in the back of the head, knocking him onto his front. This resulted in Giga Bowser bringing his fist down on the just plumber's skull instead of his whole body, concentrating the damage. That is now how that works. "Oh, he died. How unfortunate. Have him revived and then DO IT AGAIN! GALLEOM, why are you still learning how to walk?"

Galleom jumped in surprise, frightfully facing the raging maniac. "W-well I don't know how to smash anymore. It used to just be shooting electricity but..."

"ENOUGH EXCUSES!" Ganondorf kicked the behemoth in the shin, breaking several toes. "FUCKING-FATHERS!" He hopped around, cradling the smashed bones.

"Sorry!" Galleom squeaked, backing away from the injured man.

"Hell right you're sorry! I'LL- AGH, DAMMIT!" Ganondorf tripped over an irregularity in the ground, falling and injuring his foot further. Through his pain he noticed that everyone had stopped beating on one another to stare at him. "Start hurting each other again for my amusement! Except you Mewtwo, I need you."

-After a quick inspection from Zelda-

"Kiss it better?"

She smacked him over the head. "I'm not kissing your foot. I managed to heal it but that root caused extensive damage that I couldn't heal completely. I'm afraid you'll be a bit slower at running for a few years which may not help the whole Brawl thing."

"Bah, I'll just hurt everyone more."

"If you can catch them," Mewtwo added in.

"CLASS!" Ganondorf stood up, staggering on his injured foot for a moment. "I have decided that we will have another big tournament on Monday of next week, only this time you will be in four teams and you have battle royale in my neighbour's backyard. Winner does not get the shit beat out of them by everyone else!" He grinned at the psychic Pokémon. "See? I just get them to hurt each other for me. This is the best job ever."

"Do you even get paid here?"

"No," Ganondorf and Zelda simultaneously answered, one with satisfaction and the other with distain.

As the trio of higher ups spoke, Marth pulled Roy and Link to the side. "Since I think Ganondorf will split us up, I think we should call a truce. Roy, can you get those Rainbow Rangers or whatever you call yourselves these days in on our little ceasefire?"

"Of course!" Roy exclaimed excitedly, pumping his fist into the air. "The Palpable Pyros will undoubtedly be in on this alliance among men! The Captain's been really into the recently released Team Fortress 2," he added, explaining the name change. "He's been really down on something about grenades but I don't see what the big deal is."

"That's nice," Marth said unenthusiastically, cutting him off. "The more people we have on our side, the better our chances of not getting blown to bits are."

"Speaking of blown to bits..." Link gestured at Samus who had just uppercut Falco and was following up with a point blank missile preceded by a screw attack. "...think we should get her in on this?"

"Her and Giga Bowser," Marth answered over Falco's half-conscious yells of cheating.

"What about Giga Bowser?" the dragon in question asked from inches behind them. Marth comically jumped in fear, falling to the ground unceremoniously.

He quickly rose, glaring at Link. "Why didn't you catch me?"

"Why would I?"

"Because I was falling!"

"To be completely fair, you really overreacted over someone sneaking up on you and basically saying 'boo.'"

"What about Giga Bowser?" was repeated, this time with large amounts of annoyance present.

"We were wondering if you wanted to join our no-fighting alliance for Ganondorf's battle royale," Roy calmly explained.

Giga Bowser snorted. "I'm not even going to show up. Just say you had violent diarrhea and he'll buy it like a tourist."

Marth cringed. "I will not dishonour myself with tales of diarrhea!"

"I think whatever dignity you had died when you jumped."

A sword flew between them, going through a nearby tree. "STOP TALKING AND HURT EACH OTHER!"

His acts of violence did not go unnoticed. "That wasn't nice," Young Link stated. "You could have hit the older me! Then I'd be dead in seven years."

Link quickly grabbed his younger counterpart, covering his mouth and dragging him away. "And I'll be dead seven years ago if you don't shut up!"

Snake poked his head out of a nearby bush. "Don't want to create a time paradox." As suddenly as he had appeared, he disappeared into the foliage once again.

Basically, as much as I love completely random chapters, they're getting harder to think of unused ideas for. I've used up a lot of my creative events and, to make sure I can get a regular update rate going again, expect a rise in connected, AKA storyline, chapters such as the tournament, the court case or the field trip. They're just much easier to write and will guarantee that I don't run out of randomness to write about. This doesn't mean I'm not doing stand alone chapters like this anymore, it just means that they won't be as frequent.

This is basically a heads up since I know some people like these types of chapters and some don't at all.

Also, Tales of Diarrhea. My immature inner self wants me to tell Namco Bandai to make this game.