Chapter 50
An Imperfect Life – Come Together
Thursday, August 7th – late afternoon and evening
Amelia and Arizona sat outside the cafeteria eating lunch without much discussion. The commitment to eat together that day had been made prior to the unfinished conversation they shared in the conference room.
"I have a theory," Arizona stated plainly, attempting to gain a sense of Amelia's mood.
"About?" Amelia questioned as she gathered a fork-full of salad.
Arizona pursed her lips before disclosing, "Your mood swings and diaphoresis."
"Now I'm a sweaty bitch?" Amelia scoffed.
"Are you having hot flashes?" Arizona pressed, ignoring Amelia's bait.
Trying to downplay her reality, Amelia admitted, "Sometimes, I guess."
"Are you more tired than usual?" the doctor asked her friend.
"Arizona," Amelia quipped. "I have six children, a mother who just left after an extended visit, and I'm a neurosurgeon. I'm always tired."
"Confusion? Minor disorientation?" she kept asking.
"What's your point?" Amelia questioned as she chewed on some lettuce.
"You're peri-menopausal and need hormones," Arizona declared, bracing herself for Amelia's reaction.
Amelia shook her head and rolled her eyes, "And what? You're just the doc to fix me?"
"I could care less who prescribes the hormones, Amelia. But, honey, you need them. You're… well… you're a wreck," Arizona grimaced. "I'm going to order some bloodwork. Go to the lab and humor me."
The two continued to eat without conversation. Amelia had a hunch Arizona was correct. Even so, Amelia was in a disagreeable mood and didn't feel cooperative. After a tension-filled five minutes, Nolan and Lissa approached.
With great relief, Nolan blurted, "There you are, Mom!"
"Yep, here I am. What's that supposed to mean?" Amelia responded with an edge as she motioned for the couple to have a seat.
"We've been calling and calling," Lissa conveyed with anxiety. "Where's Molly?"
"Oh," Amelia nodded. "She's with Karev. He was down here with her a few minutes ago. Go check the other outdoor area."
Nolan remained seated as Lissa excused herself. Lissa, a mama without knowledge of her baby's whereabouts, was obviously tense and frustrated.
"You could've made this a lot easier on her if you'd answered your phone," Nolan pointed out as calmly as possible. Amelia threw her fork onto the table and stared at Nolan. He did not wilt or back down. Before she responded, Nolan claimed, "Really, Mom. Is that too much to ask?"
Gathering the contents of her tray, Amelia prepared to leave the table. "No, Nolan, it's not. If I knew where the hell my phone was, I would have gladly answered it. Pardon my imperfection," she snapped before walking away.
Awkwardly, Arizona and Nolan were left at the table. "She's peri-menopausal," Arizona explained with gritted teeth and wide lips, trying to help excuse her friend's behavior.
With a grin, Nolan remarked, "She's my mother. TMI, Dr. Robbins. TMI."
Smirking and excusing herself, Arizona admitted, "I suppose so."
Left alone at the table, Nolan steepled his hands and mumbled to himself, "Oh, and by the way, the adoption's official. You are truly a grandma now, you cranky old bitty."
"Who are you talking to?" Lissa wondered as she stepped to the table with Molly in her arms and the diaper bag handle resting on her shoulder. Molly kicked with joy when she saw her daddy.
He stood up and grasped Molly's foot, "Hi, Soccer girl. That kick is looking better every day." As Molly reached for him, Nolan took his daughter into his arms, closed his eyes, and kissed her baby-fine hair. He wrapped an arm around Lissa and suggested, "Shall we go celebrate?"
With a giggle, Lissa inquired, "Sure. What's that going to look like?"
"How about a family nap all snuggled together?" he grinned.
"You know exactly the way to my mama heart, Nolan James," Lissa laughed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
That evening, Owen did not arrive home until after dinner. He and Ryder drove in at the same time. Owen left his garage door open as Ryder parked in the driveway.
"Got a minute?" Owen inquired. He was emotionally, physically and intellectually exhausted after his peculiar day.
"I guess," Ryder yawned and shrugged. He leaned against the SUV parked in the garage and looked at his dad.
"What's up with you and your brother?" Owen inquired with concern as he stretched his neck.
Ryder sighed audibly, "This isn't as big of a deal as you and Nolan are forcing it to be."
"What is it, then?" Owen questioned as he raised his shoulders.
"Since he's been back, he's all full of himself. He's Mr. Sophisticated Adult and treats me like he can't take me seriously. More than once, he's spouted off crap about me not being able to understand. Give me a break. Who does he think he is?" Ryder complained.
"He's your brother, Ryder, and he's going through a great deal of stress," Owen stated. "This isn't about you."
"Pffft," Ryder sounded. "The guy pockets fancy pieces of paper from USC and is chosen as a Rhodes Scholar. Now he's too good for me. Mr. Hot Shot, 'I'm all that.'"
"Now you're making this into something it isn't," Owen observed flatly.
Bursting out the door, Ria and Lucas ran into the garage and exclaimed, "Daddy!"
"Daddy, you missed dinner. You hardly ever miss dinner," Ria summarized. Amelia stood in the doorway and watched the scene, drawing her shaky hand up to her hair.
"We played Highs and Lows, Daddy, but now we need to hear yours," Lucas declared happily.
The sides of Owen's eyes wrinkled as he smiled at his kids. He glimpsed his distraught wife and held his gaze. "Go back inside. I'll be in there in a minute to share all sorts of highs and lows. Can you send Nolan out here?"
The kids ran inside and Amelia closed the door once they entered the hallway. A moment later, Nolan stepped into the garage with a curious gaze. "What's up?" he asked.
"I'm hoping to encourage the two of you to sit down together and sort out the tension," Owen explained. "I can stay and mediate or just be present. If you'd rather, I can leave the two of you alone."
"I'm open to talk if Ryder is," Nolan said. Ryder shrugged and nodded his head. Nolan added, "I think we'll be good on our own, Dad." Owen nodded and proceeded into the house.
Nolan opened a fridge full of drinks. Unexpectedly, he pulled out an armful of beer and motioned toward the front gate. "If we're gonna talk, let's go to the treehouse."
Agreeing, Ryder followed his brother. Once inside, Ryder fell into a bean bag and settled in. Nolan leaned down and handed his brother a beer.
"Is this some sort of set up?" Ryder sneered with suspicion.
"No," Nolan calmly shook his head. "Do you want it or not?"
Ryder reached up, grasped the beer and opened it. After taking a drink, he mumbled, "Thanks."
"I really pissed you off, didn't I?" Nolan pressed.
"All I've wanted is an update. I want to know what's going on with you guys. Instead, you're both trying to act all happy when I can tell you're both falling apart. When you're dealing with legal bullshit related to adoption, you're trying to convince everyone that you're confident and centered. I'm not an idiot, Nolan."
Nolan stalled by taking a drink of his beer. "Ryder… when I put you off, it was about me."
"Whatever," Ryder responded quickly. Sarcastically, he continued, "I guess it's more than I can handle or understand."
Trying to make eye contact, Nolan studied his little brother. He disclosed, "I'm phenomenally exhausted. All the time. There is so much shit going on in my life. Moving overseas, selling our first house, graduating, arranging Lissa's student teaching… and that's not even everything. I'm too tired to explain all the details. Blowing you off really had nothing to do with you."
Scratching his wayward hair, Ryder responded blankly, "Oh."
"Do you want to know why we were so upset the day you came home?" Nolan inquired.
"If you want me to know," Ryder replied, attempting to seem less interested than he actually was.
Nolan tried to clarify, "It's good news in the long run, but not so good right now."
"Why's that?" Ryder encouraged.
Again, Nolan drank some beer before sharing, "We learned why we keep miscarrying, which is great to know. There's even an easy surgery that can fix it."
"That's great news, isn't it?" Ryder wondered aloud.
Nolan nodded. "Except Lissa's pregnant and she can't have the surgery when she's pregnant. Now we're in this weird space where we'll probably lose the baby, and we can't stop that from happening."
"F #k," Ryder gasped slowly. "That's messed up…wow." Studying his brother's face for a hint about his emotional state, Ryder inquired, "All you do is wait?"
"The doctor mentioned we could terminate," Nolan reported. "We're not going that route."
"Crap," Ryder commentated. "What do Mom and Dad think?"
"They're not saying. They've listened to us and explained some medical details, but they won't weigh in," Nolan detailed.
"When's the baby due?" Ryder wondered aloud.
Nolan laughed. "Liss and I have never been very wise about timing. At this point, we'll have a one year old, a one month old, and a newborn next April."
"And a nervous breakdown by May?" Ryder teased. Nolan held up his beer as if making a toast and then drank it down.
Uncomfortable with the pain and sadness, Ryder abruptly changed the topic. "This adoption thing – with the one who licks faces – she's a keeper, huh?"
"Licking faces is nothing compared to what else she can do," Nolan beamed. "Maybe Uncle Ryder could change the next diaper."
"And maybe Uncle Ryder wouldn't dream of stealing away the precious moments you have with your child," he responded with a chuckle.
As they prepared to leave, Nolan turned back to Ryder and sincerely stated, "I'm really sorry my words sounded like I didn't think you could handle or understand the information. I apologize. The truth is the total opposite: I'm going to need to lean on you in the next few months."
"Get the hell out of here and leave the rest of the beer," Ryder scoffed, burying how much it meant to him to receive Nolan's apology.
Nolan grinned and came back, "Get off your ass before I have to carry it back to the house. C'mon. Let's go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
Meanwhile, as the older boys made peace, Amelia sat in bed reading while Owen put the Littles to bed. On the verge of emotionally-laden, unexplained tears, she yawned and wondered what was wrong with her. Maybe Arizona was right; maybe she needed to be taking meds to even out her hormones.
Owen walked in and briefly caught Amelia's eye. He proceeded to the bathroom without a word and started the shower. Seeking respite and a moment of solace, he stood as the water poured over his head and body. For whatever reason, he and Amelia were in a funk and the tension was adding stress to an already stressful life.
After throwing on a pair of boxers, Owen headed toward the bed and slipped under the sheet. He forced a grin when he caught Amelia's eye, then reached for his cell and began scrolling. As he chuckled at a meme, he glanced over at his wife who had looked toward him when she heard his slight laugh.
Holding up the phone and waving it slightly, he explained, "It's nothing. Just a funny quote."
"Mmm Hmm," she acknowledged with a slight smile. Without looking at him, she confessed, "I was cranky with O'Leary today. You were right about that."
"It's like you have it out for her," Owen observed as the two avoided eye contact.
"I'm not sure she's cut out for surgery," Amelia professed. "She becomes too scattered or freezes under pressure."
"She's not so sure either. That's why she was tagging along on that Hematology tour," Owen disclosed. "Which, by the way, brings me back to something I've been meaning to ask. Why were you in that supply room with Arizona?"
"We were talking," Amelia attempted to downplay.
"In Hematology?" he pressed.
She ignored him and mused, "The adoption was finalized today. We celebrated at dinner." She left off the words without you, even though they were on her mind.
Closing his eyes slowly, Owen exhaled, "I'm sorry I missed dinner. Caught up at the hospital. You know how it goes."
"Yep," Amelia uttered.
With a mixed scoff and chuckle, Owen indicated, "Torres told me something outrageous today."
"Really? About what? How to initially treat an injured motorcyclist?" she asked sarcastically, still angered by the death.
"That's out of bounds, Amelia," Owen stated flatly. "We did what we could and switched courses of treatment as the situation unfolded."
Turning away from him and lying on her side, she questioned, "What did Callie tell you?"
"That there are rumors going around about me," Owen shared partially.
"You're the Chief. There are always rumors floating around about you," Amelia responded dryly.
Silence hung in the air briefly as if they both knew what was not being said. Owen set his phone on the nightstand and turned out the bedside lamp. As he settled into bed and lay on his back, he swore, "I'm not having an affair with an intern, Amelia. I haven't been with anyone but you since we were married."
Amelia gazed toward the darkened carpet and began taking shallow breaths. Wanting to believe him, but worried he was lying, she said nothing. Although she'd never known Owen to be dishonest with her, she'd never heard of a cheating husband admitting an affair unless he'd been caught. Softly, she wondered aloud, "How do you suppose that rumor emerged?"
"I don't know," Owen expressed. "She's been on my service lately. There was the day she tried to pick up Liss and Molly and used my rig… it's manufactured crap, Amelia, I swear."
Amelia remained facing away from him, but reached her hand back and grasped his. Pulling their hands to his mouth, Owen kissed her soft skin and rubbed his stubbly beard along it. He guided her hand back toward the bed and continued to hold it as they faded off to sleep.
