Friends, Lovers and Sox Fans, Lend Me Your, uh, Eyes
"I wanna do it," Carly said as she reached for the page Luke was working on.
Luke tucked the tip of his tongue back into his mouth as he shook his head. "Nope. These are sharp ones, we left your scissors at home."
"Mine," Carly insisted, pressing her hand to the book and jerking the page from Luke's fingers.
"Agh," Luke said as he immediately lifted his finger to his lips. He glared at his daughter as he sucked lightly at the fresh paper cut on the side of his finger. "You want me to take it back?" he growled.
"Nooo!" Carly wailed.
"I'm tryin' to help you, here," he argued. When Carly's lower lip began to tremble, he fixed her with a stern stare. "Listen, you wanted the dolls, I got you the dolls. You want to play with them when Kiki comes over this afternoon, fine, you can play with them, but I have to cut the stuff out first. And you pouting and throwing a fit isn't gonna help things, got it?"
Carly sucked her lower lip into her mouth, her wide eyes filling with tears as she nodded slowly. "I wan them."
"I know you do," Luke sighed, his patience fraying. "Just cool it, okay? Let me at least finish Martha Washington's dress so she's not running around in her underpants."
Carly giggled and pressed her fingertip to the cut out figure of America's first First Lady. "Underpants."
"Right, and she can't run around like that. What would George say?" Luke mumbled as he nodded to the paper doll of the first President.
When she giggled again, Luke glanced over at her and found his daughter beaming at him with delight. He could almost feel his heart melting into a puddle of mush as he picked up the page again and started to carefully cut along the lines once more. "Little girl, you're probably gonna kill me," he murmured.
"No, Daddy. Kiss you," she said, playing along with their little routine.
"You wanna kiss me?" he teased as he shot her a sidelong glance.
"Uh huh."
"All the girls wanna, you know," he said as he carefully navigated the tab that would fold back to hold the dress onto Martha Washington's surprisingly svelte frame. "Maybe I should kiss some other girl."
"No, my Daddy," she said, grinning as she leaned both elbows onto the table, moving closer to him.
"Careful," he grunted as he moved the points of the scissors away from her. "Now? You wanna kiss me now?"
"Uh huh."
With a put upon sigh, Luke quickly abandoned both the scissors and Martha's gown and leaned toward Carly. "Make it a good one."
Carly planted her tiny hands on his scruffy cheeks, pressing them enthusiastically as she planted a loud, wet kiss to the tip of his nose. Luke's smile was wide as he scooted his chair back from the table and hauled her from her chair into his lap. He hugged her tightly, his beard snagging on her wild curls as she snuggled into him. "No guy will ever love you as much as I do. You remember that, okay?" he said gruffly.
"Cud 'em out," Carly ordered, her voice muffled by his shirt.
Luke his eyes as he turned her around on his lap, scowling as her coltish legs dangled too far over his. "No guy will ever let you boss him around like I do, either," he grumbled. "Keep your paws to yourself," he warned as he reached around her to pick up the scissors again.
Cradling Carly in his lap, he worked his way around the bodice of the dress, carefully snipped out another tab, and began to start on the full skirt when the bells rang out. Luke dropped the scissors and pushed the book of paper dolls away as he scooted Carly from his lap and turned to face his customer.
"Oh, hey," he said with a nod as he spotted Steve Larson standing just inside the door, a knowing smile lifting one side of his mouth.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I just missed lunch today and as of about twenty minutes ago, I'm really missing it," he said with a shrug.
"No problem. Just, uh, afternoon lull," Luke explained as he started toward the counter.
"Lucky guy, such a pretty lady to keep you company." He smiled warmly at Carly. "All I have is a bunch of sweaty guys in hardhats wielding power tools."
"Crap," Luke said as he reached the counter and then spun on his heel, stalking back to the table to snatch up the scissors just as Carly reached for them.
"Paper dolls?" Steve asked with an amused smile.
"Taylor. He brought in all these 'history' themed toys and stuff for the market. The kids rob me blind whenever we go in there," Luke said as he dropped the scissors into the drawer by the register. "Coffee?"
"Please." Steve dropped down onto the nearest stool. "Historical toys? Muskets and stuff?"
"Nothing that cool," Luke muttered as he poured a mug of coffee. "Mainly jigsaw puzzles, coloring books and stuff."
"And paper dolls," Steve added with a smirk.
Luke's eyebrows rose as he placed the mug in front of the other man and asked, "Wanna make something of it?"
Steve laughed good-naturedly. "Me? Hell no. Been there, done that. I play a killer Ken. I figure it was my duty as the only male in the house to give the guy with nothing between his legs some imaginary balls," he added in a low voice.
"We don't have Ken, we have G.I. Joe."
"You're lucky, you had boys first so you can get away with that," Steve said with a rueful smile.
"Daddy she's naaaykid!" Carly called to Luke.
Steve sputtered as he choked on his coffee, and Luke rolled his eyes as he yanked some napkins from a dispenser and slapped them down onto the counter in front of Steve. "Close the book so no one will see her," Luke called back to her calmly.
Steve turned on his stool just in time to see Carly carefully tuck George and Martha Washington into the book and close the cover for decency's sake. "She's too cute."
"Too cute for her own good."
"She's a mess," Steve said, turning back to Luke with a grin.
"A mess?" Luke craned his neck to inspect the outfit Carly had worn to daycare that morning. "Actually, for her, she's pretty clean."
Steve shook his head. "Sorry, southern thing. I've learned in the past couple of weeks that I'm apparently full of southernisms. Half the time most of the crew doesn't know what I'm saying." Luke chuckled and Steve shrugged. "Give me a BLT on toasted white bread half a jar of mayo and I'll tell you what it means."
Luke nodded and asked, "Fries?"
"Tons of them."
"You'll end up being the mess," Luke muttered as he headed for the kitchen. A few minutes later, he leaned in the kitchen doorway, watching as Carly systematically unloaded her tiny backpack, lining up the toys on the table in front of her. "Fries are cookin'," he said gruffly.
"A mess can either be derogatory or complimentary," Steve explained as he sipped his coffee. "In this case it was a compliment. She's a handful. In a good way."
"Then she is a mess," Luke agreed as he turned to peek at the fryer. "And a little spoiled," he added with a wince.
"Whose fault is that?" Steve asked with a knowing grin.
"Mine. All mine," Luke said, pushing away from the doorframe with a brusque nod of acknowledgement.
He returned a few minutes later with the sandwich and a plate piled high with french fries. "If you weren't a guy, I'd kiss you smack on the mouth," Steve said as he dove in. As he chomped on a fry he looked up to see Luke's stunned expression and shook his head. "Just sayin'…" he said as he gestured to the plate.
"I see."
"Sooo not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added with a smirk.
"No, of course not," Luke replied, chuckling as he grabbed a rag and began to wipe down the counter.
"I have kids. Of course, if you also watch the other Jerry - Springer, that is; you'd know that doesn't make any difference," he added as he toyed with his sandwich.
"I got it."
"Women, I love women," Steve said with a nod. "Tall, short, skinny, round; love 'em all. As often as possible," he added, a red flush staining his fair complexion.
"So, how old are your kids?" Luke asked, abruptly changing the subject.
Steve laughed and then bit into his sandwich. "Thank you," he mumbled through stuffed cheeks.
"No problem."
Steve swallowed the bite and said, "Fourteen and ten." He turned to glance at Carly and said, "Enjoy that while you can."
"I am."
Steve toyed with a french fry, his easy smile melting into a frown. "Good. Soon all she'll want from you are a ride to the mall, a hundred bucks for some new jeans and whatever the latest gadget is," he muttered.
"Yeah," Luke murmured sympathetically.
A ghost of Steve's usual cheerful smile reappeared. "Ah, well, they'll come around again, right?" he said, trying to inject a note of hope into his voice as he reached for his coffee mug.
"Yeah, they will."
"The divorce was rough on them. You know, they've always been a little more mine than Janet's, and then all of a sudden, there's this big fight," he said with a helpless shrug. "Word of advice, you ever file, hire the sleazy investigator and prove Adultery. Your lawyer may tell you that Mental Cruelty is easier and faster, and it is, but then you can't introduce stuff into the custody hearing. That's a whole separate ballgame," he warned sternly.
"Oh, I'm not, uh, we're…" Luke stammered, holding up his hands as if ward off the thought.
"Of course you're not," Steve said bitterly. "I didn't think I ever would either."
"Whoa, now wait a minute…"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right," Steve said quickly. "I'm sorry. Way too heavy a discussion to have without a fifth of sippin' whiskey. Apiece," he added with a wry twist of his lips.
"Yeah," Luke said with a short, nervous laugh.
"I'm sorry," Steve apologized again. "I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm just… I talked to the girls last night. Or, at least, I tried to. All I got was a list of complaints and demands a mile long."
"I'm sorry," Luke said automatically.
"And the crappy thing is, all of a sudden I'm the bad guy. I spent thousands of dollars trying to hang onto my kids; and when I lost, it's like they blame me, like I didn't try hard enough."
"That sucks."
"Well, I didn't call their mother a lyin' slut in open court, so maybe I didn't go far enough," he muttered under his breath. "I had to get away from there. I wanted to start fresh."
Luke chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment. "I heard it was a Senator. That would have made for an interesting hearing," Luke said gruffly.
Steve's head jerked up, his brow furrowed in confusion. "A Senator?"
"Well, that's what, uh, people…" Luke mumbled as he waved the towel at the window.
"Oh. Yeah. Well, now they're called the Nationals," Steve said with a nod of comprehension.
"The Nationals?"
"And the crappy thing is? She couldn't even pick a good one. He got sent back down the week after she left me, only actually threw in one game. He got totally creamed. I think his ERA blew up to about a 6.23."
"The Washington Nationals?"
"Yeah."
"The baseball team," Luke clarified, "not the guys sitting up on Capitol Hill making laws and stuff."
"Not a baseball fan?"
"Oh, I am," Luke said a laugh bubbling up in his chest. Steve looked at him with a perplexed frown as Luke began to laugh in earnest. "I love baseball," he sputtered.
Steve looked down when he felt something bump his leg, and saw Carly trying to maneuver herself onto the stool next to his. He dropped the french fry and immediately reached to help her up onto the stool.
"So funny?" she asked, looking at Luke with an expectant smile.
"I think your Daddy has lost his mind, sugar," Steve drawled as he watched Luke convulse with laughter.
"I'm sorry," Luke gasped. "I know it's not funny, but it's funny."
"What's funny?" Carly demanded, shifting to rise up on her knees and lean on the counter.
"Whoa, watch it," Steve said as he grabbed hold of her.
"I can just see them," Luke said as he tried to get a handle on his laughter.
"See them?" Steve asked, his eyebrows heading due north in surprise.
"Not them, them," he said as he nodded to the windows. "Every meddling biddy in this town is glued to C-SPAN trying to figure out which guy it is," he said, unable to contain his wide smile.
"C-SPAN!" Carly gasped, adding her peals of giddy laughter to Luke's.
"You don't know what C-SPAN is, you nut," Luke admonished her.
"Is funny!" she argued.
"They are?" Steve asked.
"Of course they are, you're big news." Luke shook his head as he pulled the towel through his hand. "No wonder I haven't laid eyes on Babette in days. I'll have to ask her how that healthcare reform is coming."
Steve chuckled as he reclaimed his french fry and dragged it through the pool of ketchup on the edge of his plate. "Okay, that is a little funny," he admitted, his smile widening.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't making fun of your, uh, situation. When you live here a little longer, you'll understand."
"That's all right."
"We'll leave you alone," Luke apologized as he skirted the end of the counter and plucked Carly from her stool. "Come on, Pea." He paused as he glanced back at Steve. "I didn't mean to…"
"Nah, that's okay. I didn't mean to dump all that on you."
"I'm kinda like a bartender, but without the handy booze," Luke said with a shrug. He rubbed Carly's back as she clung to his neck, still snickering at a joke she didn't get.
"Yeah, well if you had a liquor license you'd never get rid of me," Steve smirked.
Luke glanced out of the window and spotted Eastside Tillie whispering to Mrs. Slutsky as they stared into the diner. He turned back to Steve and smirked. "Welcome to Stars Hollow," Luke said, giving the other man a nod.
"Glad to be here."
"I'm getting back to my dolls," Luke told him.
"You do that."
As soon as Luke settled Carly at the table, Steve slid from his stool holding up the scissors Luke had confiscated earlier. "You'll need these."
"Thanks."
Steve narrowed his eyes at Luke as he took the scissors and asked, "Yankees fan?"
Luke bit back a snarl at the implication. "Boston."
Steve's eyes widened as he nodded slowly. "My dad was born and raised in Boston. He went into the navy and was stationed at Norfolk, that's where he met my mom."
"Huh."
"Not easy being a Red Sox fan growing up in Virginia," Steve commented.
"Sometimes it's not easy being a Sox fan anywhere."
"Better than being a Cubs fan."
"True."
"You're an all right guy, Luke. If I were gay, I'd be chasing you around the counter," he said with a wicked grin.
"I never run with scissors," Luke said soberly as he held them up.
"Good thing I'm not gay, or I imagine that I'd end up with those planted in my chest."
"Not that there's anything wrong with being gay," Luke answered drolly.
"No, not at all."
"Since I know you love all kinds of women, I'll just tell you now to stay away from my wife. Don't even look at her and we'll be fine," he said mockingly.
Steve smiled and then glanced down at Carly. "I guess I'll just have to wait for you to grow up, Darlin'."
"Don't make me use these," Luke growled. He picked up the cut out of Martha Washington in her stays and waved it at Steve to distract him. "Look, here's one for you, she's almost naked."
Steve laughed and moved back to the counter. "What's the deal with Declarmen?" he asked as he reclaimed his stool.
"Lost his groove," Luke muttered as he dropped into the chair and pulled the book of paper dolls closer to him.
"Gonna lose his spot on the playoff roster," Steve commented as he picked up his sandwich. "I wonder what his ERA is now, the ex may be interested."
****
"Sookie?" Lorelai called as she pushed through the swinging door to the kitchen. "Hey, Manny," she said with a nod. "Sookie's not here?"
"Pantry," Manny said loudly, not bothering to remove his ear buds.
"Sookie?" Lorelai said as she opened the pantry door.
"Oh!" Sookie gasped and then scrambled to hide something behind her back. "Oh, hi, Lorelai. You scared me."
"I figured," Lorelai said with a smirk. She stepped into the pantry and shut the door behind her carefully. "Whatcha doin' in here?"
"Oh, nothing. Just, um, taking a little break. You know…"
"Yeah, I know. Breaks are good," Lorelai said as she stepped forward, advancing on her friend. "What's behind your back?"
"My back? Um, nothing's behind my back. Hey, I baked some of those chocolate truffle brownies you liked so much," she added as a diversionary tactic.
"Great! I'll have one just as soon as I find out when you have stashed back there," she said, craning her neck to peek around her friend.
Sookie shifted uncomfortably on the stack of flour sacks she sat on. "It's nothing."
"Really? Why would you have to hide nothing when someone walks in?"
"It's embarrassing," Sookie moaned.
Lorelai drew back slightly, her playful smile fading as she studied her friend. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Sookie grumbled.
"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me if you need to, right? I mean, I know I've been a little wrapped up in this inn stuff, but for you…" she trailed off helplessly.
Sookie wound her fingers together, gnawing her lip as she peeked up at Lorelai. "You promise you won't laugh?"
"I promise I will do my best not to laugh," Lorelai said as she raised her right hand.
"Lorelai."
"Well, you know me Sook, sometimes I just laugh but it doesn't mean I'm laughing at you," she said defensively.
"Have you and Luke… Do you guys ever… No, of course you don't," Sookie said, quickly dismissing the thought with a shake of her head.
"We don't what, Sook?" Lorelai said as she carefully perched on a stack of fifty pound bags of sugar.
"Jackson and I, we're going through this weird patch," Sookie began hesitantly.
"Ah, the weird patch. Yes, Luke and I hit those," Lorelai said as she tried to sneak a surreptitious peek behind Sookie's back, straightening quickly as Sookie looked up.
"You do?"
"Doesn't everyone?"
Sookie turned toward her, leaning in slightly and glancing nervously around the deserted pantry. "We haven't had sex in almost a month," she whispered.
"I don't think that's all that unusual," Lorelai whispered back.
Sookie blinked in surprise. "You don't?" When Lorelai shook her head, Sookie sat back and eyed her friend suspiciously. "Have you guys ever gone that long?"
"Sure."
"I mean, aside from when you had the kids," Sookie amended quickly.
Lorelai didn't have to think too hard before she shrugged and said, "Yeah, I think so."
"Really? Wow. I thought you guys did it all the time," Sookie breathed.
"Well, no, not all the time," Lorelai laughed. "I mean, when things are normal and good, then other things are more, uh, regular, but doesn't everyone hit those weird patches?" she asked with a puzzled frown.
"We never have," Sookie confessed, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"Really?" Lorelai asked skeptically.
"Nope, never."
"Wow, now I'm impressed," Lorelai murmured.
"At first, it was no big deal. I had that little cold, Jackson hurt his back, the finales of the summer television shows were on," Sookie listed with a wave of her hand.
"It is a busy time of the year."
"And then, last week I realized it had been a while, you know what I mean?" Sookie said with a meaningful look.
"Yes," Lorelai replied with a solemn nod.
"So, I lit a couple of candles while Jackson was putting the kids to bed, and put on this pretty pink nightgown that had never failed me before…"
"And it failed?" Lorelai asked with a sympathetic wince.
"Spectacularly. Epic failure!" Sookie said as she stood up, gesturing broadly.
"What happened?"
"Nothing happened. He came in, grabbed his pajamas, brushed his teeth and crawled into bed mumbling something about the candles smelling nice and to blow them out before we forgot about them and burned the house down!"
"Ouch," Lorelai whispered, flinching for her friend.
"So then, I figured that after a decade together, maybe the seduction thing was too much work, so the next night I jumped him, or tried to jump him," she muttered miserably as she dropped back down onto the flour sacks.
"No go?"
"Bloody nose."
"That'll do it."
"Yeah, kind of a mood killer."
"Have you tried just talking to Jackson about it?" Lorelai asked cautiously.
"Well, sort of. You know I'm not really good about that kind of thing," Sookie said as she knotted her fingers together tightly.
"Uh oh."
"He thought I was complaining. Like I was telling him that our, uh, sex life wasn't good enough."
"Oh no! Sookie, what did you say?"
"I may have said something about it not being good enough," Sookie admitted sheepishly. When Lorelai gasped again, she rushed to explain. "Not the sex, though, the not having sex! And you know Jackson, all he heard was the part about it not being good enough, and we were off to the races!"
"Oh, Sook," Lorelai said mournfully.
"And we talked it out, you know, two days later when he came back from the spinach patch."
"Was he stronger then?" When Sookie shot her a look, Lorelai held up one hand and said, "Sorry, no Popeye jokes, I promise."
"Then we tried to do it and it was…"
"It was?"
"Bad," Sookie said with a shudder. "Really bad sex."
"Oh no."
"Oh, yes. The worst sex ever. Awkward, uncomfortable, Jackson asking me every thirty seconds if this is okay or that is okay," Sookie expounded.
"Ugh."
"And we haven't done it since," she said sadly.
"Aw, Sook, I'm sorry," Lorelai said as she gave her friend a one-armed hug. She sighed and shrugged as she said, "I don't know what to tell you. Luke and I tend to spend our weird patches fighting."
"That's the bad part! Other than that one fight, we haven't fought about anything. At all."
"Wow, that's a lot of pent up frustration," Lorelai said, clearly impressed.
"No kidding! I feel like I'm going to blow up like that guy who ate the after dinner mint."
"Mr. Creosote," Lorelai provided helpfully.
"Well I don't wanna do that, so I'm taking the bull by the horns. Or horn, so to speak," Sookie said with a stubborn nod.
"You're gonna walk into the kitchen where Jackson will be preparing your dinner in heels and pearls and say, 'Jackson, I'm as horny as a sailor on leave, now do your husbandly duty and service me!'?"
"No, but that's an idea," Sookie murmured, chewing the inside of her cheek as she seemingly gave the scenario consideration. "I got this," she said as she reached behind the flour sacks and retrieved the book she had been reading.
Lorelai's eyes widened as she stared at the entwined bodies on the glossy cover. "The Art of Seduction? Is that a self-help book?"
"It's a smutty book," Sookie whispered, her dimples flashing as her cheeks turned bright pink. "Verrry smutty."
"Like the Karma Sutra?"
"No, smutty stories," Sookie said as she held the book out to her. "I've gotten tons of good ideas from it," she said as Lorelai carefully pulled the book from her grasp and flipped it over to scan the back cover.
"Erotica?"
"Yeah, that's it!" Sookie said as she clapped her hands together. "I just usually call it smut."
"And you're going to try these ideas out on Jackson?"
"Starting tonight," Sookie said with a definitive nod.
"Does he know this?"
"He will," Sookie replied with a saucy wink.
Lorelai flipped through the book and stopped on a random page, her eyes moving along the type as she began to speak. "I really think maybe you guys should talk a little bit more before you start… Oh my," she breathed.
Sookie peered over her shoulder and after scanning a few lines, nodded happily. "Yeah, that one's is on the list."
"No kidding," Lorelai murmured in an awed tone. "Sign me up."
She shook her head as she quickly closed the book and then turned to Sookie. "You know that this can't be real, right? I mean, it's all well and good, you know, to get things kick started again, but you know that trying to, uh, duplicate some of those things could be, um, bad," she said cautiously.
"Bad how?"
"Bad in the way that the cable repair guy is never as hot as the Penthouse Forum wants you to believe and no woman answers her door in lingerie at one in the afternoon," she argued.
"I've answered the door in Saran Wrap before," Sookie said with a frown.
Lorelai held up both of her hands to stop her and said, "I don't wanna know."
"Actually, it was Glad wrap. Not the Press 'n Seal kind, the regular kind. Not nearly as good as Saran Wrap, it kept coming unstuck. Maybe the Press 'n Seal would work better," she mused.
"Sookie!"
"What?"
"Please don't tell me, I'll never be able to ring your doorbell again."
"You never ring the doorbell, you just walk on in," Sookie pointed out.
Lorelai pointed to the book in Sookie's lap as she stood up. "Not anymore."
"Aw, come on," Sookie said cajolingly.
"I'll open the door and shout really loud," Lorelai compromised.
"That'll work," Sookie agreed with a giggle.
Lorelai reached out and gave Sookie's arm a gentle squeeze. "This'll work out too. Enjoy your smutty stories, but don't forget to talk, really talk to Jackson," she said quietly.
"I won't."
"Good."
Sookie watched as Lorelai walked to the pantry door. "Hey, was there something you wanted?"
"Oh. Um, I can't remember," Lorelai said as she stood there with her hand on the handle. "Distracted by all this talk of chocolate and sex."
"That'll do it."
"If it's important, it will come back to me. In the meantime, I think I'll grab a brownie to hold me until I can get home."
"Get home and jump Luke?" Sookie teased.
"Two brownies. Damn kids in my house," she muttered as she jerked open the pantry door.
****
"You can't kiss me anymore, I'm too tough," Josh said with a sly grin.
Lorelai pulled the covers up under his chin and smoothed them across his narrow chest. "I can and I will kiss you as much as I want, whenever I want," she growled threateningly.
"You think?"
"I know. It's in the mommy rulebook."
"The mommy rulebook?"
"Yep, it's a book they give you when you become a mommy. You can't see it because you aren't a mommy, but it's in there. You are mine to hug and kiss for the rest of your life, no matter how big or tough you think you are."
"You think Daddy let his Mommy hug and kiss him?"
"I know he did," Lorelai said promptly. "He may never admit it, and you don't have to tell the other guys that you do, but I'm pretty sure that he did."
"He did what?" Luke asked as he shooed Jake into the bedroom.
"You let your mommy hug and kiss you," she said with a pointed look.
"Sure. It's in the rules, right?" Luke answered with a shrug. He watched as Jake perused the bookshelf for that evening's selection. "I think it's Josh's turn to read," he reminded Jake as he crawled onto his bed holding the book.
"Tell him not to wrinkle the pages," Jake muttered as he handed the book to Luke.
"Don't wrinkle the pages," Luke said with exaggerated sternness as he handed the book to Josh.
Lorelai crawled onto the bed with Josh as Jake settled back against Luke, using his father's leg as a pillow. Josh read faster than Jake, but usually wasn't as careful with his words. They tumbled out one after the other, heedless of proper pronunciation and without regard to their actual meaning. Several times, Lorelai halted his progress to work on the pronunciation, racking up and impressive number of exasperated sighs from her elder son. When Josh closed the book, he promptly handed it to Lorelai and settled into his pillow.
"Sleepy?" she whispered as she toyed with the sun kissed tips of his hair.
"Uh huh."
"Football practice wears you out."
"We run a lot."
"I know, I saw."
"Davy's slow," he muttered.
"He is," Jake confirmed in a whisper.
"Shh. Not everyone can be fast," Luke said gruffly.
"No, especially not compared to the fastest, strongest, smartest boys that have ever lived," Lorelai said gravely.
"Davy's bigger than you. He's a good lineman," Luke said as he shot Lorelai a warning look. "No quarterback is any good without a good offensive line. Remember that," he warned Josh. "And, Davy will keep you from getting taken down in the backfield before you even get to run," he told Jake.
"Are you excited for the game Thursday?" Lorelai asked as she took Josh's hand and pressed his small palm to hers, measuring them against each other.
"Yeah."
"Your uniforms look cool," she said softly.
"They should," Luke grumbled.
"Only the best for Luke's Diner's boys," she teased, looking back at him over the headboard.
"Yeah, well, Luke from Luke's Diner says these boys need to get to sleep. School tomorrow," he said as he shifted Jake from his leg onto his pillow.
Jake flopped over with a groan and buried his face in the soft cotton pillowcase. Luke smirked as Josh yawned loudly, almost drowning out the sound of Lorelai's big smooch goodnight. Lorelai crawled over Josh to get out of the bed and then tickled Jake until he rolled over.
"Don't get him all riled," Luke warned.
"I just want my kisses. Them's the rules, kid," she said as she fixed Jake with a determined glare. Jake smiled up at her as she leaned in, and held perfectly still as she kissed his cheek loudly. "Don't wipe it off until after I leave the room, okay?" she whispered.
"Okay," he whispered back.
She looked up at Luke and said, "I think I'm gonna take a hot bath. Are you hanging out with the owl?"
"For a little bit," Luke told her as she stood up. "Then I want to catch the news."
"Night, my boys," Lorelai said as she blew the three of them kisses.
Once Lorelai left the room, Jake rolled onto his side and looked up at Luke. "Your mom kiss you a lot?"
"Yeah, she did."
"Did you like it?"
Luke smiled. "I did, but I pretended I didn't, just like you guys."
"I like it too," Jake answered.
"Me too," Josh mumbled sleepily.
"We won't tell her though. She likes to think she won the fight," Luke said with a grave nod.
"Okay," Jake agreed.
****
The water splashed into the too seldom used jetted tub as Lorelai shed her clothes. She carried the pants and shirt she wore that day to the hamper, and then deposited her bra and panties in the lingerie bag on the back of the closet door. She caught a glimpse of her naked body in the full length mirror, and then glanced nervously over at the bedroom door, reassuring herself that it was indeed locked.
When she turned back, she stepped back and inspected her reflection more closely. Her hands covered the soft curve of her stomach, pulling slightly until the skin stretched as taut as it once was. Her breasts were noticeably lower, but at the same time, a little fuller than they had been before she had the younger kids. Turning to the side, she was pleased to note that her bottom was still relatively high and her hips were rounder, making her waist appear narrower.
With a tiny shrug, and shook her hair back as she reached for the robe that hung on the hook inside the door, and then stopped when she spied a cardboard box tucked up on the highest shelf. With one more glance at the door, she hooked her forearm under her breasts and jumped slightly, tapping the box nearer to the edge of the shelf. Two more jumps, and she nearly had it. Abandoning the support, she jumped one more time, snatching the dusty old box from the shelf and tucking it under her arm.
"So much for my nude beach volleyball career," she muttered under her breath as she hurried into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
Lorelai set the box on the vanity and then turned off the water. She breathed deeply, enjoying the light floral scent of the bath oil she had added before opening the flaps of the musty cardboard box. The edible undies were semi-consumed within the first week. The oils and body paints that had once resided there were long gone, replaced by a more practical tube of KY kept in her nightstand drawer. The long forgotten games were still intact, the black silk scarves that had once become hopelessly knotted around a long since upgraded headboard now lay crumpled and forgotten in the bottom of the box, and there, tucked along the side was a slim volume of erotica written for couples.
Minutes later, she was submerged in the tub, her hair clipped carefully atop her head and her legs stretched out as the water lapped over her breasts. She opened the book, wetting her suddenly dry lips with the tip of her tongue as she cast one last look at the door, just to be sure.
****
Luke woke himself with a sharp snore, jerking upright on the couch just as the evening news drew to a close. He looked around the room, slightly disoriented, but ultimately relieved that Lorelai was nowhere nearby to mock him. He turned off the television and tossed the remote onto the coffee table as he swung his legs from the couch. Stretching the bunched muscles in his back, he shuffled toward the kitchen to finish out his nightly routine, but stopped short as he heard Lorelai call, "Luke?"
"Yeah?" he grunted.
"Can you come here for a second?"
Luke blew out a tired breath and shuffled back down the hallway. "I'm comin' up, I just need to lock up and stuff," he told her.
"That's fine," Lorelai answered.
He looked up and spotted her standing on the landing wearing nothing but his favorite flannel shirt. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision and noted that only the button just above her navel was fastened.
"You wanna have sex," he stated blankly.
A startled laugh escaped her as she shrugged, the panels of the shirt shifting to give him tantalizing glimpses of the bare skin beneath it. "If you do," she said, suddenly feeling uncertain.
"I do," he told her as he grabbed the banister and launched himself up the first few steps.
Lorelai laughed as he suddenly appeared on the landing, one hand sliding inside her shirt and then pulling her up against him. "I fell asleep," he confessed.
"I was reading naughty stories," she said breathlessly.
Luke's eyes widened as he finally came fully awake. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What kind of naughty stories?" he asked as he started to walk her back to the upper flight of stairs.
"Don't you have to lock up?"
"Let 'em take it all. Tell me about these stories," he said in a husky voice as he nudged her back up the stairs a kiss at a time.
****
The ride home from meeting with Richard and Emily's attorney was quiet. The windshield wipers swished over the glass, wiping away the steady drizzle as Lorelai pressed the redial button on her phone. The moment the voicemail kicked on, she hung up with a heavy sigh.
"She's probably out interviewing someone," Luke said quietly.
"She's not answering her cell, either," Lorelai complained.
"I wouldn't either if I was in the middle of an interview," he pointed out.
"This is big," she said softly. "I can never get a hold of her anymore. I need to talk to her."
"She's busy. Did you try texting her?"
"Yes," she said sulkily.
Luke reached over and clasped her hand. "I like how you're completely blowing past your part in this and heading straight for Rory," he said gruffly.
"I don't wanna talk about that," she said quickly.
"You heard him, you know it's best to be prepared."
"I can still get out of it," she said mutinously.
"How?"
"I'll wear white shoes after Labor Day. Nothing sets Emily Gilmore more on edge than a good fashion faux pas."
"According to that show you watch all the time, people can do that now."
"Not in Emily's world, they can't."
"Lorelai," he cajoled. "We've talked about this."
"And you're okay with it?" she asked dubiously.
"I'm resigned to it."
"How noble of you."
"Comes with the territory." Luke draped his hand over the top of the steering wheel as he blinked tiredly. "Besides, Jess will have to deal with it before I do," he said with a smirk.
"That's the spirit," she said dryly.
"You know it makes no difference, right? We're going to go on as we've been going."
"I know. Except now, I get to carry these around with me all the time," she said as she scowled at white envelope in her lap.
"This is a good thing, Lorelai. They're doing it to protect you."
"And now I hold my parents' lives in the palm of my hand, or rather, in the bottom of my purse," she said with a hollow laugh. "I can tell them to pull the plug at anytime. Think twice before you try to have this stuff done, you may not want to tempt me that way if you're gonna keep nagging me to eat vegetables."
"I'm going to nag you to eat vegetables until the day I die."
"That was my point," she said, shooting him a dark glare.
Luke chuckled. "You won't let them unhook me, you'll be too busy clinging to my limp, lifeless body."
"This is a morbid conversation," she grumbled as she turned to look out the rain splattered window.
The rain slicked pavement hissed beneath the wheels as they slowed to enter Stars Hollow. "You know, this is a good thing for them," Luke said as he turned toward the Dragonfly.
"Who?" she asked, incredulous.
"Rory and Jess," he clarified.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess."
Luke snorted. "You guess? It's almost a quarter of a million dollars."
"It's just over two hundred thousand," she corrected.
"Close enough, don't you think?"
"I don't know," she sighed. "I can't believe there's so much of it left."
"Well, she never went to grad school, and we pretty much handled whatever living expenses she's had," he reasoned. "Frankly, I forgot about it once the last tuition check went in."
"Me too," she admitted.
"Interest, investments, dividends. She'd be smart to leave most of it right where it is, they've done a good job managing it."
"You understood all of that?"
"I got the gist of it. We'll look it over for her again," he said as he nodded to the manila envelope wedged between the seat and the console.
Lorelai was silent as he turned down the lane to the inn. She couldn't help but feel a familiar jolt of pride when the Dragonfly's welcoming front porch came into view. "Maybe it will be good," she said softly.
"It can't hurt," he argued. "Hell, they could almost pay cash for a house."
"True," Lorelai conceded as he pulled to a stop in front of the inn. She turned to him and smiled wanly. "My baby is going to be twenty-five."
"Yeah." Luke smiled as he brushed her hair back from her cheek, tucking it carefully behind her ear. "My hoodlum nephew married an heiress," he said with a smirk.
"Karma."
"Payback."
"Maybe they'll move home," she said hopefully.
Luke smiled sadly and shook his head. "Don't get your hopes up, okay?"
"You never know. I mean, that's about six years worth of her salary and benefits right there," Lorelai pointed out.
"They have to live their own lives," he reminded her gently.
"I know, but there's no reason they can't live them here," she said stubbornly. "Or at least in Hartford."
"Lorelai, don't."
"Don't what? I'm just saying that there are possibilities."
"Okay, well, as long as you realize that one of those possibilities is that they could junk it all and move to Tibet."
"Why would they move to Tibet?"
"To follow the Dalai Lama, I don't know," he said impatiently.
"I think he lives in India," Lorelai pointed out.
"Fine, to spend seven years there so they know what it truly means to be Brad Pitt," he said snidely.
"Man, his accent sucked in that," Lorelai murmured.
"He should have called Arnold Schwarzenegger for a consultation," Luke said as he rolled his eyes. "The point is, we don't know what they'll do, or even if they'll do anything."
"I know that."
"Okay, well, I don't want you to set yourself up to be disappointed if they don't come running home."
"I won't be," she promised.
"Why do I have a hard time believing that?"
"Because you're too cynical for your own good," she said as she leaned over and kissed him lightly. "Go get your girl, I'm sure Duke is waiting for her tuna."
"Hey," he said as he tugged on her hand.
"What?"
"I love that my heiress wears flannel, and nothing else."
Lorelai snorted. "Please. Once I get my paws on that dough, you're going to have a veritable rainbow of plaid flannel for me to choose from."
"See, now that's spending your inheritance wisely," he said as he ducked his head for another kiss. "Give it at least another five minutes before you call her again."
"Mind your own business," she retorted as she climbed from the truck.
With a small wave, she sucked her head and dashed through the drizzling rain to the wide front porch. Once under cover, she turned back to the truck, and with a saucy smile, tugged at the hem of her skirt, flashing him a little leg before she rushed inside.
****
"Careful," Luke cautioned as Carly carried the plastic bowl filled with tuna to the back door of the diner.
"I goddit," she assured him.
"We're not hanging out in the alley, okay? It's raining."
"Duke's in the alley."
"Yes, I know, but she has a nice dry house, remember?"
The moment Luke pushed the back door open, Duke hopped up on top of the dog house that she refused to sleep in. Luke groaned as he eyed the muddy, wet cat. "Put the food down for her," he instructed.
The hood of Carly's frog green rain slicker obscured her face as she placed the bowl at her feet, nudging it toward the repurposed dog house with the toe of her green rubber boot. "Ead it!" she ordered.
"I don't think Duke likes to be bossed around," he said as he tired to usher Carly back into the rear hall.
She peeked up at him from under her hood and said, "Duke's wet."
"Yeah, well that happens when it rains. I'm getting wet too. Come on, we need to get in," he said as he waved her back in.
"Comeon, Duke!" Carly cried as she danced into the hall.
"No!" Luke said, gritting his teeth as he made a lunge for the streak of mottled cat as it sprinted through the door. "Dammit, Duke," he growled as he secured the back door and all but pushed Carly through the curtain. "That's it, no more feeding that stupid cat."
"This stupid cat?" Steve asked as he bent down and picked up the cat that had begun drying herself against the legs of his jeans.
"Don't ask," Luke growled as he stomped through the diner and plucked the cat from Steve's grasp.
"Is that your cat?" Steve asked Carly.
"It's a stray," Luke answered.
"Duke!" Carly said by way of introduction. "Hers a kitty."
"I see that," Steve said with an amused smile. "You always seem to have so much fun here in the dead of the afternoon."
"Yeah, it's a laugh riot," Luke grumbled and he glared at the cat as she curled her claws into the front of his shirt, taking a little chest flesh for good measure. He clenched his jaw to keep from pitching the annoying animal out of the front door. "Hang on, I'll put her out."
Luke stomped back through the diner to the back door, smirking as he heard Steve call Carly Kermit.
"Duke, you gotta understand something," he murmured as he stroked the cat's wet head. "I can't have you in here. I gave you a house and some food. I'm tellin' ya, this is the best it's gonna get."
When the cat blinked up at him, her bright blue eyes steady on his, he sighed and opened the back door. "We'll try again another day," he said as he set her gently outside next to her food bowl. "If you had any sense at all, you'd get in the stupid house, you stupid cat."
When he pushed back through the curtain, Luke snatched an order pad from the end of the counter and stalked back over to where Steve was seated by his hostess. Luke shot a look at the gree rain slicker on the back of one of the other chairs, and then at Carly, who beamed back at him while kicking her rain boot against the metal leg of her seat.
"What'd I tell you about making time with my girls?"
"She climbed up there, I just helped with her coat. I am a southern gentleman," Steve said, turning on the drawl for Carly's benefit.
"Lunch?"
"Monte Cristo and onion rings." When Luke winced, Steve looked up at him innocently and said, "I'm from the south, we deep fry everything."
"Well, I won't have to worry about beating you to a pulp, you'll be dead by next week," Luke muttered as he scribbled the order on a ticket.
"Afraid you'll forget that between here and there?"
"I'd like to," Luke answered as he circled the counter.
"Be nice to me, I have something you might want," Steve called after him.
"Clogged arteries? No thanks."
"Tickets. Behind home plate. Sox versus Cleveland. The last regular season homestand."
"Tickets?" Luke asked as he turned slowly.
"Peanuts, beer," Steve answered enticingly.
"How'd you get tickets?"
"My family has connections."
"Mafia?"
"Scarier. My cousin married a girl whose father owns the concession rights."
"You want me to go?"
Steve shrugged. "I have the tickets, I'm offering you one. Remember, I'm not gay, so you don't have to kiss me on the mouth to thank me. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"I don't know," Luke said hesitantly as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Seriously, I'm just a Sox fan, happy to finally be in close proximity to the mother ship." Steve looked around the empty diner and said, "Come on, if you don't go I might have to ask Taylor, and I really don't want to be the guy who's friends with the town nerd."
"That's Kirk."
"What?"
"The town nerd is Kirk."
"Are you honestly trying to tell me that Taylor is cooler than Kirk?"
Luke paused and thought about it for a moment. "Huh. You're right, Taylor is the town nerd."
"I'm sure Kirk will be relieved to hear it. It's bad enough that every time I run into the guy I have to hear about how he wants to be the resource for all my real estate needs."
"That's just the tip of the iceberg."
"I don't really know anyone else around here. I guess I could take the blonde chick who always hits on me over at KC's, but frankly, she scares me," Steve mused.
"Carrie?"
"That's it."
"Crazy and married."
"Figures."
Luke ran his thumb over the order pad, fanning the pages as he weighed his options. "I'll need to check with Lorelai, uh, see if we're free that weekend."
"Sure. Just let me know," Steve said easily.
"I'll get your plate of grease."
"I would appreciate that."
Luke ducked into the kitchen and tossed the order pad onto the counter. His mind raced as he assembled a ham and cheese sandwich, and then whipped up a mixture of eggs, flour, and milk. He winced as he dipped the sandwich into the batter, and then dropped it into the basket above the deep fryer. With a shudder of repressed baseball lust, he lowered it into the hot grease and watched it sizzle, wondering if Lorelai would drop him into the same grease or just crack his skull like a ballpark peanut if he said yes.
