Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from American Horror Story!
AN: So this chapter was originally going to have smut, but after thinking about it I realized that it just flowed better without it. It does have Tate and Violet of course, just not smut. This is more Tate being the support Violet needs dealing with her mothers death.
When Violet had woken up to find her boyfriend out of bed, outside the hotel room actually, smoking a cigarette, she found herself in the bathroom seconds later with a razor blade she had forgotten she had hidden in one of her suitcases for safe keeping. She didn't even feel the sting as as the blade pierced her flesh or the stream of warm blood as her turned her arm in to a river of crimson. It was only when the bathroom was thrust open that she actually began to register what was happening around her.
"What are you doing?" The tone of Tates question conveyed how horrified he was to find his girlfriend dripping red all over the hotel bathroom floor. Immediately he slammed the door shut and locked it for good measure to ensure nobody else would enter. The last thing they needed was for someone to walk in and see this mess, especially considering how deep her wounds appeared to be at first glance. "Vi, do you realize how deep this is? You could have seriously hurt yourself."
The girl in question shrugged as if it was no big deal; like she couldn't of almost died from such wounds if she were not more careful. "You do it."
"Not since I've met you." He replied shaking his head sadly. Usually he wouldn't say anything, but this was the girl he loved and he did not want to see her hurt, even if by her own hand; especially not by her own hand.
"I'm not hurting anyone, not really." She muttered looking down at her now bloody arm. A part of her wondered if she deserved the scar it would leave. Maybe this was fates way of punishing for not being there was her mom needed her most, for not being the daughter Vivian Harmon craved so much. If it were then in her opinion it would never be enough.
"Your hurting yourself." Her blond boyfriend pointed out as he held out his hands. "Here, let me see your arm."
Violet let out a deep sigh before consenting and moving her arm so it was rest between his hands though she quickly drew it back against her chest after Tate pressed his lips to the bloody wound causing his lips and surrounding flesh to turn a brilliant shade of red. "Gross!"
"Yeah, it is gross; you're mutilating yourself." He snapped back harshly before breathing deep in order to calm down a bit. He wasn't angry at Violet, but rather the situation at hand.
"It will heal." Her reply was weak at best and she knew this so she decided to add a snarky comment in the hopes of getting him to focus on something else. "Since when did I start dating a vampire?"
"To qualify as a vampire I would have to actually have to drink the blood and I spit it out so technically not a vampire." A smirk played at the corner of his lips for a moment before quickly vanishing only to be replaced by an expression of deep concern as he once again grabbed her arm, this time running his fingers over the injured flesh. "It's going to leave a scar."
"Another to add to the ever growing pile." She told him before letting the razor in her other hand drop in to the trash since she no longer had use for it.
Moving to grab some toilet paper, Tate began helping her wipe up the blood from the sink and floor. He was pretty sure they would have to clean up again in a few minutes, but this would get rid of the bulk of it, plus it gave them something to do for the time being. "Sorry I got so upset, no wait, I'm not sorry I was upset because I love you and I hate seeing you hurt yourself. I am sorry that you felt like you couldn't come to me when you felt this way."
Lifting her free hand, she set it against his cheek as a way of letting him know she understood and wasn't angry at him for the outburst. "It wasn't I didn't feel as if I could come to you Tate, it's just this is how I cope. I've been doing it for a while now and I guess I did not even realize I was doing it until you came in and said something."
He could understand that; he'd been there before. "What is the last thing you remember thinking about before you started to cut?"
Her answer came in the form of two simple words which held so much meaning. "My mom."
Tates expression softened instantly. He felt like an absolute jackass for not connecting the dots sooner when it had been so in your face obvious. "What about your mom exactly?"
Violets brow rose at his question. "What are you my therapist now?"
His eyes locked with hers an as usual she was lost as soon as she looked in to his dark ever seeing gaze. "You're boyfriend who loves you very much and wants to be there for you in your time of need so stop avoiding the topic and tell me in detail what it is about your mom and remembering her that spurred this round of Violet Harmon slice and dice."
"It wasn't remembering her that caused me to cut I don't think. It was knowing my father knew all along she was in the hospital and he didn't care. He fucking knew and he didn't care!" The hatred behind her words left a bitter taste in her mouth.
"That isn't your fault Vi, it's not like you can control his-" The love of his life cut off what he was saying before he ever go the chance to finish.
"I know it isn't my fault, but maybe if I had been a better daughter, been what she wanted, she would have had something to fight for, but the only thing she had besides the baby was a husband who cheated and didn't even bother to come and see his wife in her last moments of life." Her hands were clenched in to fists at her side the entire time she spoke.
Shaking his head, Tate reached out to clasp her now shaking hands with his own. "You can't think like that Violet. You cannot blame yourself for her death. Your mother loved you, you know she loved you."
"Yeah, she loved me, her imperfect broken daughter because she was my mother and she had to." A deep sadness filled her eyes as she spoke. "If I had been better then maybe-maybe it would have been enough to make her stay. If dad had been a real husband and her family hadn't been a broken mess, maybe it would have been enough, but it wasn't and now she's gone and I just, I feel so out of control and cutting gave me some of that control back even if only for a fraction of a second."
"But it it didn't last Vi." He countered and he would know since he used to turn to self harm as well. If anyone could relate to Violet in this situation it would be him. "It never lasts."
"I know that; rationally I know that, but a part of me doesn't care." While it wasn't quite what he wanted to hear, what she was saying was the truth.
Not for the first time Tate wished he could take away her pain, make it his own so she would no longer be sad, but he couldn't so he had to settle for telling her with words how he felt; let her know in some way she was not alone even if it at times she felt as if she were. "You may not care, but I do, I care Violet and I always will."
"I know you care, yet there is this part of me that fears you are going to leave me as well." The honesty of her statement startled them both especially Violet since she hadn't meant for the words to come out, but now that they had she figured she may as well let them continue to flow. "I know it wouldn't be by choice, but if my moms death taught me anything it was some things are out of our control."
Thinking about what she had just told him, Tate took a minute to think about his answer even though in the end he decided to just go with the first thing that had popped in to his head upon hearing her words. "Well that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard you say because even if something took me from your life I would find my way back to you. You're inner light would guide my way."
Violet was pretty sure she should be annoyed he had just insinuated she was dumb, but she wasn't because he had also called her his guiding light which touched her heart in a way nothing ever had in the past. "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to bring yourself back from the dead."
"I'd find a way." The way he said those words made her believe them. There was no doubt he would do whatever it took to her in any situation.
Pressing her lips to his softly she let out a small smile. "You mean that don't you?"
"Of course I do." He told her seriously before grabbing her hands once again and pulling back in to the main room. "Now come on, let's get these wounds cleaned up so they won't get infected."
TBC...
Please R&R like always!
