Red...there was a deep red...then a darkness...then...everything was just a blur...
One moment...she was wrapped up nice and warm, moving...going...going...she was going somewhere, but then...she was bare and cold, unable to move as she was touched and pricked, and cut...
Blood still seeped from open wounds, streaking her pale skin. She was covered only by a thin layer of white silk. It only covered her torso and part of her upper thighs. There had been more cloth beforehand, but it had to be thrown aside. It was constraining, useless.
Stained.
She felt too exposed, too scared, and insecure as she stalked along in the darkness, paranoid that any second some man...one of many...or maybe all of them at once...they would jump out to drag her away into one of the alleyways. Not that she would care. She was beyond caring right now.
Then...she realized she was somewhere familiar...
School...they'd canceled school...because of that killer running around...
She'd first met Maka in school and she met Soul there, too. She'd also met Black*Star and Tsubaki, and even Kid at school...school was a nice place...a safe place...
Climbing the steps on aching feet she found the door to be locked so she made her own opening, smashing the glass of the door with a rock, only to realize with slight irritation that the other door across from it had been unlocked. It was too late though.
She'd busted the door.
An alarm started squealing in fright at the violent action.
Without so much as a glance to make sure nobody was watching, Crona made a run for it. She ran as fast as she could, not paying much mind to where she was going until she tripped, falling to the pavement with a pained grunt.
Breathing shakily she climbed to her aching feet and trudged on, only stopping when she found herself approaching the end of an alleyway. It was empty and led out to an active street where a brightly lit café sat. There were people standing out front and cars driving by at a casual pace. Everything looked so relaxed and comforting.
Then she realized there was somebody yelling. Her dark orbs locked onto three people as they stood out front. Other people stared but they ignored those stares to keep yelling at each other.
There seemed to be something familiar about those people, encouraging Crona to move forwards at a cautious pace until she was out of the darkness and standing on the street. Her face was illuminated by the light of a street lamp. Her eyes were curious, dangerous, but overall cold, watching as Spirit stood shouting at Kid and Maka who were both giving him a pair of identical frosty glares. Kid was saying something...
When his golden hues looked past Spirit to focus on her, his voice seemed to die down, getting Maka's attention. She was worried about him, asking what was wrong. He didn't seem to hear her, as he continued to stare at the girl across the street. Crona wondered what he saw beyond her mostly bare, blood-soaked appearance? She wondered if it was the same thing all the others saw. Or if it was something much worse. Whatever it was, it was enough to pull him forwards, to make his feet move in her direction. Apprehension took hold of the pinkette as Kid suddenly shoved past Spirit, breaking into a full out run.
Her eyes narrowed and she turned on heel to run the other way. "Crona!" She heard him scream her name, heard his footsteps following close behind, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. If anything she ran faster.
"Crona!"
She turned into an alley, seeing the end led out to another street she willed herself to move faster, overlooking the fence that stood in her way her body smacked into the chainlink fence. Screaming in surprise she grabbed hold of the fence, pushing against it as hard as she could. The old poles creaked and shook. Unfortunately, it wasn't going anywhere.
Kid caught up with her, panting lightly while she persistently shoved at the fence in a vain attempt to make it fall out of her way. Kid had no idea what to think about her appearance. He was worried, yes, but overall he was frightened.
Eventually he regained his breath and she stopped pushing against the fence. Her fingers held onto the wire and her forehead leaned against it as though it were the last thing in the world that could support her. Kid took this as his chance to speak.
"Crona, what...what happened to you? Are you...all right?"
"I'm fine."
"No, I don't think you are."
She didn't respond. He could see her body go rigid in the dark, but he ignored it to take a few steps closer. He extended a hand to reach for her, hoping she would cooperate.
"Come with me and I'll take you home. I'm sure-"
He didn't get much further than that. Crona whirled around and delivered a hard punch to his shoulder making him fall backwards. Kid caught himself and stumbled back a few steps as he tried to regain balance. He stared at her sternly, trying not to let the shock of what just happened become visible to the pinkette who was staring at him with an odd expression. One eye was half closed while the other stared at him wide open and her mouth was only half smiling and soon it faded into a sullen frown.
"You restrained yourself."
"Don't I always?"
There was a brief silence. She was out of it, he knew. She was dangerous now, but it wasn't because of her miraculous fighting abilities or speed, or even the fact she was lacking a decent sense of right and wrong. It was actually because Kid knew deep down inside himself that there was no line she wouldn't cross. Every human being, sane or insane, drew that line, to remind them it was something they weren't to cross. It was what separated them from the monsters of the world; however, when Crona was like this it seemed to Kid that she was prepared to do absolutely anything to get her way.
Their last scuffle was proof enough of that.
"What happened?" Kid breathed. He could not restrain his shock and dismay no matter how badly he wished he could. "What have you done?"
Her lips twitched up into a momentary smile.
Taking a step forward she expected him to back away, as any other sane person would have, but he stood his ground even as she got up in his face and grasped onto the front of his shirt, staining it red. "I've done something really wonderful." she whispered to him darkly with a soft giggle. "It felt amazing! If only you were there..."
Her grip tightened and her eyes closed momentarily as though recalling something, upon opening they were dead, cold orbs of nothing...nothing but hate...just like in the picture...
"And I'm going to do it again...paint the world red...again, and again, and again, again, again, again! I'll keep doing it until there's nothing left!"
"What then?" Kid challenged. Crona flinched as he stared at her, gaze steady and unwavering. Her own orbs were steady, but there was hesitation that made her break contact. "What will you do when there's nothing left?" Kid demanded, amazed at how much his voice contradicted his taunt nerves. "What is your plan after it's all said and done?"
No answer came. She lost her grip, stepping off to the side where she stood silent, staring down at the concrete with a frown. Kicking a rusty can off to the side she gave a shrug and when she looked up her hatred had been replaced by an indescribable, sorrowful glimmer of agony.
"I hate myself...so much...don't you know?"
"I know. You've made that quite clear."
There was silence. Then...
"Crona," Kid wracked his brains as he tried to think of how to phrase this, "have you...I mean, you say things and I have started to wonder...have you really-"
"Hurt anyone? Killed anyone?"
There was a minute of silence, and then it passed as he uttered a quiet, "Yes."
"I know things now...I know a lot of things..." She then added with a tinge of irritation, "I'm not stupid anymore."
"You weren't stupid before-"
"Yes I was." she hissed sharply. Her eyes narrowed in on him. Her body language was menacing as she then engaged him in a staring contest. He refused to look away though it felt like he were staring into the eyes of a viper, poised and ready to strike. How could someone so beautiful also be one of the darkest people Kid had ever laid eyes on?
In the end, her gaze faltered and turned to look everywhere else in an almost paranoid manner.
"Now all these things are crawling around inside my head...like snakes and spiders...snakes and spiders..." Kid noticed how she shuddered as she said that. "Ugh...I-I don't like them!" Crona appeared to be on the verge of a breakdown. Instinctively, he moved closer, concerned. That was when she exploded.
"I want them to go away! I don't know why I'd wanted them...wait, yes I do, but...now that I have them...I know...I know, Kid, I know too fucking much! An-and it...it hurts...it hurts so much...an-and it...it pisses me off!" Her fist rose to strike him across the face, but Kid saw it coming in time and moved off to the side, grabbing her arm he twisted it behind her back and pulled her close to him then pressed her against a nearby wall so she was trapped between it and him. Kid hoped this would discourage her from struggling too much.
That didn't happen.
Crona pushed back against him and thrashed in his hold, yelping when her arm was nearly wrenched from its socket.
Alarmed, Kid almost eased up on his grip. Almost. He snapped himself back to reality in a second's notice. Kid knew that if he allowed himself to display any sort of pity or sympathy towards her she would use it against him. And if that happened, then not only was he likely to get hurt, but she was bound to cause injury to herself as well.
"Listen to me, Crona, listen!"
She stopped her squirming and thrashing for a moment to do as commanded, neck turning as far as it would go. This resulted in their noses touching, prompting a blush to spread across her pallid features. Kid also flushed but refused to lose his composure even as sweat beads formed to roll down his forehead and neck.
"I don't want to hurt you, Crona, but I can't let you hurt yourself or other people. I just can't. So I think you should let me take you somewhere safe and we'll figure things out, okay?"
"Noooo." she moaned despairingly. Tears dripped down her cheeks and for a moment Kid believed he was actually hurting her. "I can't...I can't stop...not now...I can't...it's almost over...almost..."
"What are you talking about? What's almost over?"
She shook her head, biting her lower lip stubbornly. Pieces of her bangs fell into her face as she turned away to focus her watery gaze on the grimy wall she was pressed against.
"Crona, please, talk to me. I can help you."
"You're sweet." Crona said, laughing through her tears as a wet sob clawed its way from her chest. Her head leaned back against his chest as the pain in her arm intensified to a vicious throb. "You tell me I am, but you're the sweet one, Kid. And kind, polite, brave, noble...you're good...in the end you're always good. That's why I liked you. It's why I was pulled to you. No man has ever been so nice to me and meant it, truly meant it. Not like you have."
Kid noticed how she used the past term 'liked' with a shocked pang of hurt that subconsciously made him increase his grip on her arm. Only when she gave an agonized whimper did he loosen his hold a tad bit so he wasn't crushing her bone.
"Sorry," he muttered.
She giggled softly in response to his apology. "We're not right for each other," Crona said woefully, "and when this all over you'll hate me...and I'll go away...forever. There's no point pretending we're anything more than a pair of broken-minded screw-ups desperate for companionship."
"You don't mean that...you can't...not after-"
"She's dead, you know." Crona continued, laughing tearfully, face flushed as she kept egging him on. "That old me–the one you liked so much-the one everyone liked so much–she was a lie, you know, just one big, stupid lie. She was nothing else, really, nothing but a lie and cover story. Professor Stein and Miss. Marie would give me medicine to make me normal and she'd take my place–be the me everyone wanted–and I would die, you know? You know?! She tried to warn you about me, but you never listened. You never listened! This me would die and she'd be alive, but I lost those damn pills so now I'm here. She's dead and I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! This is who I fucking am!"
"St-stop...just stop...please, stop talking!"
"Think about it, Kid, just think about it for a second. The pills made her up, she was a lie, so what do you think everything else centered around her is? Her likes, dreams, everything that was fucking sane was make believe! Now, I'm all that's left and I say that you'll...you'll just...just hold me back s-so I've got to cut you loose."
"Cut me loose?" he echoed with a sick sensation settling within his soul. His chest ached and face paled, as he nodded like he understood. "I see...I see..."
That's when his hold released.
Turning Crona was pinned back against the wall, his hands holding onto her shoulders. Instinctively, every muscle in her body tensed, as she expected him to strike her or yell, to do something, but he just stood there staring at her. His orbs glimmered with unshed tears, displaying all the hurt and betrayal that had built up inside him in the past few moments. No...there were no feelings of betrayal...how could there be?
To betray was to act against, but Crona had never been for him to start with. Not really. If everything she had said was true then of course she had never been for him. She was sick. But honest. He had to give her that much.
"You're in control..." Kid realized weakly. "You're...in control..."
He had been silently, desperately wishing everything she had just said was merely some sort of crazy rant. He couldn't. That hope was snuffed out as he stared into her dark gaze. It was unhinged...definitely unstable...but...deep inside that darkness he could see there was at least a spark of self-control.
She wasn't like before, impulsive in both mind and action. Her thoughts weren't disorganized. There was, indeed, some form of chaotic order to them. Kid felt himself weaken, heart aching, as a few tears ran free. Never before had Kid truly understood what it meant to have your heart broken, but he now understood what the expression meant and hated it.
Crona didn't react to his tears or pain. Her expression had became oddly passive as she stared at him with a pitying gaze.
She gave him a light shove to make him let go of her. Kid didn't care and let himself fall backwards to the filthy ground. His head was throbbing as so many memories pushed their way in as though to defy what he'd just heard. Crona knelt down beside him with a sad smile, poking his cheek as though she were a curious three-year-old.
"Are you mad?"
Kid glared at her for a moment only to turn his gaze away, wiping away his tears with his sleeve. He wanted to answer yes and somehow make her feel as hurt as she had made him feel in that moment, but...in the end...Kid knew if he were to do that then he'd really just be hurting himself further. He had already resolved that her happiness was all that mattered to him and if he couldn't make her happy...if she didn't want him...then he wouldn't try to make her feel differently...not when her feelings had never really been there to start with.
It actually made sense her feelings had been fake. The pills just gave her a false sense of normalcy, after all. It should have been clear sooner than now. Maybe he just didn't want to admit she hadn't been serious about their relationship. Maybe as friends...maybe...but she'd never been comfortable going beyond those boundaries. Kid felt incredibly foolish and embarrassed as he thought about this. His aching heart emitted a strong pang that he could only blame himself for.
He should have realized the truth the moment he read up on her medication.
"Kid?" her hushed tone brought him out from the murky depths of his thoughts. His honey hues turned to look at her dully, blank as they locked onto her depressive dark orbs. She looked just as miserable as he felt. "Are you angry with me now?"
"No...I'm not mad..."
At least, he thought miserably, not with you. Not entirely.
"Hey," she pouted, giggling nervously, seeming rather stunned to hear that, "that's not the right answer. You sh-should be...you should want to get me back...d-don't you...don't you want to hurt me back?"
"No," his eyes drifted away from her to stare off into space, knowing what he said to be true, "even if I were so petty and vindictive I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do such a thing. It's not in me..."
"I thought so...you're weak..."
"If being weak means protecting you, then yes I'm very weak."
"Sweet. But in case you've forgotten," a hand gripped onto the collar of his shirt and the next thing he knew he was being slammed against the same wall he'd pinned Crona to moments before. She pressed her forearm against the base of his throat, holding onto his shoulder with her free hand. A demonic smile came over her pretty features and she applied pressure to his throat. "I don't need your protection. If anyone gets in my way I'll-"
Crona didn't get the chance to finish that sentence, cut off as she gave a yelp of pain-filled surprise when Kid delievered a hard punch to her jaw sending her reeling back.
She regained her balance, holding her aching jaw with one hand while the other hung limply at her side. She stared at him in shock and bared her teeth in rage. Kid didn't allow her time to attack, moving forwards he elbowed her in the ribs producing an anguished cry that was quickly muffled by his hand over her mouth. He pushed her back, keeping a firm hold on her as he then let her go, watching as she fell back.
"I-I thought...you...you liar!"
"I said I wasn't mad at you and I said I would protect you, and I have said that I love you; however, I have realized something about all that." He paused continuing upon receiving a broad, yet shaky smile from the pinkette. "You see, I have realized that while you may not love me, I still love you. Yes, I loved who you were before and admittedly I have realized that wasn't you, but I had disillusioned myself. I tried to ignore the truth when I should have embraced it."
"And just how did you supposedly figure all that out about little 'ol me?"
"I did research. I found out what your medication was for. I wanted to tell you about it, but I failed and lost my chance. And before I lost that chance, I received that damn box with all those horrible pictures of mutilated animals, of you as a child covered in blood and looking as mad as you do now." Kid felt something click as he glared at her evenly, feeling rather furious as a false look of shock came over her. "Don't look so surprised it was the box you gave me!"
His eyes narrowed on her as she started to look rather stunned at this accusation. "You said you tried to warn me about you. Was that your warning?"
"I never gave you a box." she argued. "I never gave you pictures of anything! I wasn't even aware of myself until tonight so how could I have given you anything when nothing was all I had?" In a softer voice she added, "And why would I?"
"I don't know." he admitted. "But then again, I don't know anything do I? All I know is that you've killed animals, killed people, but for what? I have no clue why you've done any of this. I don't know your motives or methods, but something tells me it doesn't matter because you wouldn't be willing to answer any of those questions for me, would you?"
"No, I can't."
"I think you mean won't!"
"You just...you don't understand! I can't tell you or...or..." she shuddered, shaking her head, unable to complete that sentence. "I can't tell you or something really bad will happen...please...trust me, just trust me when I say that."
"I don't think I can believe anything you say. You're insane and delusional, and sadistic...and...I just...don't know..."
"I know. I know. There's no hope for me being with someone like you. You can't ever really love me, or like me, but can't you at least trust me? Look, to prove you can still trust me I'll answer a question. Any question, as truthfully as possible as long as it isn't...one of those...personal ones. Think of one that you've been trying to figure out or really want to know about and I'll answer it."
"There's only one question that I have struggled to answer for the past day or so, but it isn't for you to answer. It's for me. You must understand, after finding those pictures and realizing that you weren't what I thought you were I struggled to think up excuses, but more than that I wondered if I could love you if my suspicions were correct, if you were the monster lurking in the dark that everyone has been so scared of. I've yet to come up with an answer, but I assure I'll share the answer with you soon enough."
"I already know that answer." Crona sighed. The scowl that accompanied said sigh didn't last long, blooming into a maddened grin that twitched uncontrollably, alternating between a look of victory and disgust, as she forced herself to speak these next four words, "I killed Joe Buttataki."
The reaction was instant. Kid felt a chill run up his spine and his muscles all clenched. "Y-you what?" he breathed, unable to process what she'd just said. He heard the first two words clear as crystal, but then the name came and was blurred out.
"I killed Joe Buttataki," she repeated, never losing that tinge of madness. There were stifled giggles as she covered her mouth, shoulders trembling as the excitement washed over her, vitalizing her, just from thinking about it.
Kid's stomach did flipflops while his mouth went dry and sweat beads formed on the back of his neck.
"Crona...what have you done? How...why?" he found his voice, roaring, "Why the hell did you do that? He was an innocent man! He never did anything to you!"
"Innocent?" The word was spat out in a feral growl, as predatory eyes glowered at him. "That's complete bullshit! He learned too much, Kid, he knew too much." The smile, the madness, the stifled giggles ceased as she promptly added, "And he hurt Professor Stein. He tried to take Miss. Marie away from us, but I stopped him! I stopped him for good!" A finger went to her throat, trailing across her tainted flesh. "It was one, clean cut. This blood you see all over me? It's his. I killed him! I drank his life and it was so bittersweet!"
"No..."
"I did it, me, it was all me!"
Kid gaped at her, disbelief written over his face as he tried to process this shocking news. Sure, it was logical for her to have killed. She wasn't hurt and so much blood didn't just appear out of nowhere. Kid just...hadn't thought...she would murder Joe. He was twice her size and surely would have caused damage if they fought one on one. There was just no way...
Then Kid remembered the incident back in the park. How incredibly Crona fought against Mizari and, by some miracle, won even though the odds were against her. And he knew that in spite of how much stronger Joe must have been, she still had the odds in her favor, especially if Joe hadn't known she intended to kill him, which he probably didn't. One glance at the pinkette was all it'd take for someone to write the idea of her being a psychotic murderer as preposterous. Whenever she wasn't behaving like a total loon, she looked too innocent, too kind and ordinary to be a threat to anyone. If Joe had met her on the street...or in a hall...and willingly walked up to her...surprise was definitely on Crona's side...
Kid felt like he was going to be sick.
Crona gave a bark of humorless laughter, ignoring the horrified expression Kid gave her as all this finally sank in, as he reluctantly accepted it as the truth. Tears trailed down her cheeks, whether it was from stress; all her deranged laughter; the fact Joe would still be alive if not for him; or some other reason, Kid didn't know.
Did she stop her laughing and struggle to compose herself for him? He didn't know. As far as he knew she had no real feelings for anyone but herself.
"That's why," Crona explained, "I'm like this. It was all over my clothes and I couldn't let anyone see me like that. So I stripped down...I don't know why...I wasn't thinking all too clearly. I guess I got panicked because they were right behind me...too close...they were getting too close...I had to run, ya know, or else I'd have got caught red-handed." Bad joke. She, herself, realized it when Kid winced, eyeing her hands that were covered in drying blood.
"I don't remember where I was running to. Somewhere, anywhere, everywhere, or maybe I was just running nowhere! Who knows? I sure don't!"
"Crona," Kid spoke, firm and even, as he choked down whatever emotion tried to enter his tone, "do you realize what this means? When they find out it's you they'll-"
"They won't find out. Nobody has taken me seriously for such a long time. Why would they start now? And remember, silly? They're looking for a man, not a girl so why would they suspect a scrawny nothing like me? Unless...unless you want to tell...unless you want to see me locked up and put to death like some animal."
A smirk came over her then, as she burst into a fit of unexpected laughter. Kid imagined it was because she just realized her words connected to the Mad Beast name she'd been given.
Kid bristled at her logic, letting her have her laugh. It was nauseating how she made so much sense when she was so freaking insane. Could it be...had she finally lost it and became so crazy that she was also, somehow, sane? It made no sense. Then again, nothing about her made much sense either. Kid found himself not making sense as he stood there, studying her, thinking this all over. Of course he wouldn't tell the police about this, as Crona had said they'd take her away and chances were she'd be tried as an adult and executed for her crimes, insane or not.
He couldn't, in good conscious, allow that to happen.
Kid still felt the urge to keep her safe in spite of everything that had occurred. It didn't matter if she had broken his heart or mocked him. It didn't even matter that she had attacked him. All he cared about was her safety. Was that a sign of love? Perhaps. But he was determined to keep it on a controlled level. The last thing he needed was to get carried away and be hurt again too soon.
"I promise, Crona, that everything that has happened here will be kept between the two of us. However, I want to know here and now if you intend to kill more people than what you already have?"
"What does it matter? This isn't your fight."
"Wrong. If you're fighting then count on me to have your back."
"No. Like I said this isn't your fight. It's mine. And what's with you being so noble, huh? I'm not your girlfriend...or even your friend...so why do you go and say things like that, huh? Are you trying to be macho or something?"
"No, it's as I said before, Crona. I love you even if you don't love me back. I can't help it. That fact aside, I need to know how red you're willing to stain your hands. How badly do you wish to taint your soul before you quit hurting people?"
"It's almost over. Almost. I promise. There's just two more people, and then it'll all be over. And I'll win."
"What is it you'll win exactly?"
A thin smile came over her pallid lips. She turned without replying and began to walk away. Kid followed her silently into the night, mentally preparing himself for whatever madness was to ensue.
Lying on the ground next to the now silent pinkette, Kid felt bad for running out on Maka like he had, but as he concentrated on the task at hand he found himself regretting it less and less. She was strong and could take care of herself, but Crona...well...she was also strong, physically, but mentally and emotionally...not so much...
It'd been a while since they left the alley. They were sure lucky nobody had followed them from the cafe. Currently, they were lying side by side on the ground beneath a car that had a dozen notes attached to the windshield. They lay staring at an abandoned building that looked rather creepy in the dark. Kid thought it could have once been an office building until it got shut down. It looked to be quite old with numerous signs of decay and neglect. He shifted uncomfortably not fully comprehending why he was going along with Crona on all this.
"How long do we have to-" Kid started to ask, cutting himself off when he realized she was no longer at his side. Sitting up he looked around, spotting her heading for the building. Following, he grabbed her arm and tried to pull her back.
He was able to make her stop, also gaining her attention for about five seconds before she shook him off and continued on. "Crona! What are you doing? I thought you said this place wasn't safe!"
"Not when he's here, but he isn't here so it should be okay."
Kid had no clue who this 'he' was. She'd already mentioned–more like muttered about them to herself–this person at least a dozen times on their way there, 'He'll be so made at me' and 'I hope he isn't around' or the most frequent one Kid had heard, 'He won't like this', which sent a particularly frigid wave of chills wash over him. If Crona was worried over whoever this 'he' was finding out she'd brought him along then he wasn't too certain he wanted to chance meeting them.
It wasn't something Kid was willing to ask, but he feared that whoever Crona was referring to, whoever this 'he' was had hurt her or done something to her in the past to make her into what she was presently. It kind of made him wonder...
Who would be the worst to encounter? The monster...or the creator of said monster?
Kid didn't want to find out. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to get her and run to safety. This all seemed awfully scary movie-ish. And if that were the case then this would be the part where two sterotypically hormonal teenagers went into the creepy psycho's den and got brutally slaughtered, except Crona was also psychotic and he was feeling more on edge than any movie character possibly could.
"C'mon, Kid. You can't stay out here. It isn't safe."
"So what? I highly doubt it's any safer in there. I think I'll take my chances out here."
"No, it's safer if we stay together." She gave a sigh at seeing him give her a doubtful glare. Crona understood his fear and anger; yes, she understood better than he realized so she tried to keep herself under control, but her nervousness made the crazy intensify, as if it were a festering infection of the mind. "This won't take long." Crona promised, though she wasn't positive how many promises she could keep since she was making so many in such a short span of time. "I just need to get my change of clothes and we can go to your place afterwards if it'll make you feel better."
"I don't think you need me to get clothes. You've already made it clear that you can protect yourself without my assistance. And what if someone is here? What if he's waiting for you? Won't he get mad if he sees you've brought someone else along? Someone who isn't in on you're plan? Let's face facts, this will be much easier if you go alone."
"M-maybe...maybe..."
"No 'maybe's to it. You know I'm right, just like you know that I'll have a better chance of escaping if they find me out here rather than if we were to meet in there where there may or may not be a sensible place to hide. These facts aside, what if he turns on you for bringing me to your hideout? Is there any chance he wouldn't hurt you?"
Crona looked reluctant to say anything, but he could have sworn he heard her utter a soft, "No."
There was a sigh of dejection followed by movement and when he looked back Crona was gone. Exhaling he stood waiting for her to come back and vaguely wondered how badly Maka was cursing him before pondering on how Crona had a change of clothes at all.
Had this entire night been premeditated days in advance? And if so then how did whoever plotted all this know what size of clothes to get and where to find Crona? How could they get to her at all?
Then he thought back to that day when Crona was attacked at home. The attack had been thought out and quick, prepared, and above all whoever had done it knew what they were doing. He'd worried that it was another stalker or something like that, but now as he thought about it Kid realized that whoever had tried to kidnap Crona was most likely the aforementioned 'he' as well as the same person who had sent him that box, if Crona truly wasn't at fault.
Kid knew that if that were the case then they had been attempting to bring her into this deadly game of theirs.
They had decided it was time, however, that was until Kid had interfered. He'd shown up and they couldn't risk him seeing them, which led him to believe that whoever was attempting to take Crona were either unarmed or not wanting to leave behind evidence, otherwise they might have simply killed Kid, taken Crona, and proceeded from there instead of hightailing it and leaving her...leaving her...they left her.
Now that he thought about it, Kid became really bothered as he recalled the state he'd found Crona in. It appeared as though she had fallen on her own. But really, he now knew, whoever had been there had dropped her, not laid her down, but dropped her without care, as though she were trash. The thought made Kid's blood boil.
And the realization of this only added to his inner turmoil.
He hated the idea of Crona getting hurt, being hurt, but he also couldn't stand the idea of her hurting others. It wasn't his fault–he knew it wasn't his fault–for these mixed feelings. His emotions and morals were beginning to fight each other, but at least he wasn't a coward.
At least he knew where his heart and loyalties lay. Kid took some pride in that, feeling as though anyone else would have turned tail and run off screaming long before now if they were in his shoes. If they had to risk their necks for something, Kid was sure they'd decide Crona wasn't that something.
Not him, though.
She was off her meds, yes. She was severely, certifiably insane, yes. She was a cold, cruel, distant murderess...yes, yes, yes, and yes...but so what? How many people would really stand by someone like Crona with that as their argument?
Their only argument. Not many, not many people at all would do such a thing.
Exhaling calmly he took a look around and found that not only was he completely alone, but there was no signs, or rather no sounds, of anyone nearby. Kid knew it couldn't take so long to grab a change of clothes and was prepared to head in to make sure Crona hadn't gotten herself into any trouble when she came through the double doors wearing an outfit that looked like it would better suit the stereotypical emo than the pinkette who, in spite of her dismal outlook and negative attitude, did not strike Kid as being emo in any way, shape, or form.
Crona stood tall in a dark magenta and black striped shirt that shown her shoulders off nicely, sleeves slipping low and stopping shortly above her wrists. Black and white checkered shoes covered her feet and gloves that looked eerily similar to Maka's dressed her hands. Skinny jeans hugged her slender legs and really shown off her curves that were normally hidden beneath heavier, darker material. On the way over Kid, who would be too ashamed to admit it, had admired her figure, but now he was drinking it in more than ever. There was a moment where he was dumbfounded, only capable of gawking at her attire, until the time came when his eyes met hers and he was reminded of the mad fire that burned bright within her soul.
"You like it?"
"It's...fitting." Kid replied evenly, unable to restrain the blush that had crept into his complexion. He turned away so Crona wouldn't see.
"Do you...like it?"
Kid wasn't too certain why she'd ask that so he treated it gently, thought on it, and answered carefully to avoid setting her off. Unfortunately, she had a shorter attention span than he remembered and was already focusing on getting home. Sighing he had to grab her wrist and remind her where he lived.
Crona gave a crooked grin that was followed up by a sheepish chuckle. Kid half expected her to resist him leading her since she seemed to dislike him already, but she followed him and interlocked fingers with him as though nothing had changed.
It was nice up until she gave his hand a killer squeeze. He'd have squeezed back to counter the applied pressure, but he was caught off guard and it felt as though she were trying to crush bone. Jerking it back as hard as he could, Kid gave a pained hiss as he wrenched his hand from her firm grasp. He was about to yell at her when he noticed how dull and glassy her eyes had gotten. She looked pale, waxy, like a statue, except she was breathing hard and her skin seemed to have suddenly broken into a cold sweat.
"What's wrong?"
"I...I don't...I'm not feeling so...good...I-" she couldn't say anything more because at that moment she doubled over and started to throw up. He held her hair out of her face until she stopped.
Breathing hard she got up shakily, laughing uneasily.
"Do you feel better now?" Kid asked, eyeing her warily. "Are you going to be all right?"
He already knew the answer to that one, as he recalled bits and pieces of what he had read at the library before he was chased off by that damn crazy librarian. The trifluphendol was out of her system and her body was going into a state of withdrawal. The cold sweat, vomiting, and shaking were common symptoms of withdrawal; however, he recalled the specific signs the site he'd found mentioned. What were those again?
Kid thought back to that list, keeping a close eye on Crona as she took a deep breath, assuring him that she was okay and just needed to get some sleep.
Headaches, dizziness, flashbacks, blurred vision, paranoia, mild auditory hallucinations, temporary memory impairment, increased sexual drive, chaotic disorganization of thoughts, feelings of derealization, increased anxieties, spike in aggression, confusion, mood swings, and/or in some rare cases an im...
Wait... he hadn't thought it important at the time, but Kid tried to think of what thet last part was, realizing that every tidbit of information concerning this drug was important, especially now since Crona hadn't taken them. Ultimately, Kid came up blank because he hadn't gotten the chance to read the last part of the list before he had to make a run from Mizari.
"Crona," his voice was hollow even to his own ears, "how long has it been since you took your medicine?"
"My...medicine? Oh, you mean that poison."
"How long?" he demanded, abruptly grabbing her by the shoulders. She was beginning to display a rather sick sort of nervousness, dark eyes flashing with some hidden feeling as they scanned his serious golden hues.
"W-wow," she breathed, smiling nervously, "you're r-really dominant, aren't ya?"
"Crona!"
"I dunno!" Crona snapped, pushing him away. Turning she gave herself a hug and began to pace a short distance helplessly, pointlessly, as she thought on it and ignored the doubtful look Kid gave her. "Yesterday? Maybe...I really don't know...someone t-took them so I-she, we, me...someone couldn't take them."
"So...it's been twenty-four hours? More or less?"
Crona shrugged, seeming annoyed.
"Then it's passed...that's why..."
"What are you talking about?"
"The person, whoever they may be, knew they'd have to keep you locked up. That's why they took you to that building, wasn't it? They knew the withdrawal symptoms would draw unnecessary attention to you."
"Huh. That makes since. I didn't know you were really good at these games."
"This isn't a game!" Kid snapped. He quieted his tone, struggling to keep his cool, trying to pretend he was talking to the same meek, pink-haired girl he had been with only hours earlier before she lost her mind. "It's never a game when people are dying. Look, Crona, I'm willing to help you, but you've got to help me understand what's going on."
"No! It's none of your business!"
"I'm making it my business! If you think I'm going to watch you get yourself hurt or killed just because you feel like risking your neck for nothing then you're sorely mistaken!"
The screaming took a short pause so that a sharp crack could take its place. Kid's fists were balled up at his sides, shaking as he resisted the urge he had to smack her back.
It was unusually strong then. Perhaps, it was because he knew she was in control, knew Crona meant to hurt him and wasn't just being a mindless nut. Whether it was that or something else, it didn't matter, all that mattered was that he managed to keep himself contained, though his frustration was surely leaking through his glare, as he stared at her.
Crona seemed shocked, momentarily. Taking a step back she bared her teeth angrily, glaring back at him with more anguish than he'd ever thought was possible to fit within the murky depths of human eyes.
"Shut up! Shut up, just shut up! You don't know anything! You don't know what this is about, you don't know why I do anything, and you don't know me so fuck off!"
"Then explain to me what this is about." Kid demanded in a strained tone. "Tell me why you're doing this. Dazzle me. Tell me the great, amazing, oh-so important reason why you're killing people!"
"I can't..."
"Oh really?"
"No." Crona replied evenly, downcast, knowing very well what would happen the second she told him the truth. "I can't. I just...can't."
"Is there even a reason? Do you like seeing others in pain? Or are you just doing it for 'fun'?"
"No," she blinked, seeming stunned yet somewhat amused he'd came to such a conclusion, "no, of course not! You see? This is why I can't tell you, you're just like everyone else! You...you don't...can't..." And then, unexpectedly, she broke down in a fit of uncontrolled sobs. Her teeth chattered and she sank down to the ground slowly, sitting off to the side crying quietly.
Kid watched her in silence. He felt bad for upsetting her, yet at the same instance...he really did not care...she hurt people...she killed someone, Joe, and yet...
Kid knelt beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder he noted how her crying suddenly slowed as she tried to calm herself down. His lips pressed gently against the pink strands at her temple. Exhaling deeply, he took a deep inhale, breathing in the sweet scent of shampoo, and ready to take whatever she was going to dish out the second she got over this crying spell.
As expected she gave his shoulder a weak punch that didn't even hurt.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I knew you don't want to talk about it. I shouldn't have pushed it. I'm terribly sorry."
"You shouldn't be..." he heard her whisper, "you shouldn't be..."
"Let's go. You look tired."
She gave a nod, expression void of any emotion as she followed after him, gripping onto her arm as she let him lead her to his house. The windows were darkened, signaling that Liz and Patty were already asleep, which wasn't that surprising considering the time so Kid grabbed one of Liz's nightgowns from the laundry and gave it to Crona, letting her get a quick shower first, though he personally took care of her feet, which were cut up and bruised from her running around barefoot. She didn't seem to mind, actually, she seemed to enjoy it as he applied medicine and bandages wherever they were needed.
Once that was done Kid got a bath of his own. As soon as he was dressed he showed her to a guest room and left her alone, upon receiving her promise that she wouldn't go wandering off. Kid then went to his room where he lay on his bed, exhausted. He felt sickened and worn out from the day's events.
There were so many connecting factors...
She killed Joe because he'd threatened her family's happiness, because he was looking in on her and had learned too much, because he 'knew' too much.
Oh, sweet lord, his blood would forever be on Kid's hands. It was he who had blackmailed Joe into looking in on Crona's background. If he had not done that...then perhaps...perhaps Joe wouldn't have died. Still, there was a part of him that rejected the idea Crona had done as she said in spite of the overwhelming evidence. Kid wasn't sure how he would sleep that night...or any other night in the future...
He knew the truth...he knew...
He'd murdered Joe Buttataki just as Crona had. She may have been there physically, may have opened the artery that spat out his ruby essence and killed him, but he had been the driving force behind all that. He had been the cause and now...now Joe was dead...Kid was lying awake thinking about it...and Crona...she was in a bed down the hall, sleeping soundly, as though she hadn't done anything wrong.
What the hell sort of person was she? What had she gone through...what sort of hell had she endured...to be who she presently was?
Kid didn't want to think about it.
Sadly, his mind refused to let any of this go and after a few long minutes reminded him that if he wanted to know more then he could go find the information in Joe's office. Although, the chances of him finding anything were as slim as the chances of Crona explaining anything to him. She was keeping her mouth shut good, whether it was for his or her own good Kid wasn't yet certain.
She already said she wasn't his girlfriend anymore, had no feelings for him, which still hurt him like hell even if he was just thinking about it.
It felt like his mind would run in circles all night when his bedroom door creaked open. He tried to pretend to be asleep in case it was someone checking in to make sure he'd came home. Kid considered himself to be fortunate that his back was to the door otherwise whoever was looking in would probably have figured out that he had yet to fall asleep.
Instead of the door closing, as he wished it would, it opened wider then shut completely. He became uneasy when he heard the quiet click of the lock. Soft footsteps coming ever closer made his breathing hitch, but he kept his eyes shut tight and tried to convince himself that this was just a nightmare and when he opened his eyes everything would be okay.
Except that wasn't the case. Someone sat on his bed, careful to not disturb him, giving him hope that they thought he was asleep.
"Kid, can I ask you something?" Crona inquired in that soft, melancholic fashion Kid recognized from when she...when she...was 'normal', as she liked to put it. He had suspected it was her the second the lock clicked into place. Kid had feared it would be her when the door opened.
He didn't respond to her inquiry, though he opened his eyes to stare across the room. Chilled fingers clamped onto the side of his neck causing him to give a sharp intake of air. Still, Kid kept his mouth shut and waited for whatever was to come.
A second passed.
Crona removed her fingers, sighing. If she wasn't off her meds he would have thought to console her, but she was and he didn't feel like he could take another second of psychodrama.
"I had a bad dream. I know you probably don't want to put up with me anymore, but I'm...I'm really...sc-scared right now. I could use a friend."
Ah, yes.
Of course she would need him for something so childish, and yet she didn't need him for the more serious matters. No, she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Or so she claimed. That could have either been her crazy leaking through or her trying to sound brave when she was falling apart on the inside.
Kid wanted to just ignore her, not out of anger or irritation, but because he felt too tired to try and humor her. He didn't feel like mind games, nor did he feel like trying to piece her together while he was still trying to figure himself out.
And yet...her depressive mannerisms coaxed him into sitting up. Kid wasn't about to pretend like he had any energy to spare, fixing her with a weary stare that softened as he found her eyes to be overflowing with fragile, salty droplets that splashed her nightclothes and wetted his bed sheets.
"Crona, what's wrong?"
"Everything seems so pointless. I-I don't know what to do. I mean, this is it. After tonight...that's it...no more me. I-I'm scared."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm awful. I-I know I'm awful because of all the bl-blood on my hands, but I like you...an-and I don't want...I don't...want to...stop..."
Kid wasn't following. She was upset, yes, he understood that part. But over what? Did she mean she didn't want to stop...killing? Or did she not want to stop seeing him?
"Kid, when this is over...could we...um...be together one more time l-like before?"
"Before?"
"L-like we were at the mall or the park, o-or the movies. It was nice. I even liked...other things...like when you started kissing me here. I liked that a lot."
Kid couldn't restrain himself from agreeing, "I did too." He blushed earning him a fit of broken giggles while she sniffled, nodding in agreement. She moved closer. A shaking hand grabbed onto his, holding on for dear life. "You're the only person I can trust." she whispered.
"Crona, if this is bothering you so much then why don't you call this whole thing off? Can't you see it's hurting you?"
"It's too late. You probably think I'm stupid or too crazy to notice, but I'm too far gone to be saved. Once, I had a dream about someone like me, but she wasn't me. It's kinda funny, actually. Red gloved hands. I got my red gloves tonight. They're hard to take off. See?"
She held a hand up to show him flakes of dried blood that clung desperately beneath her nails. Kid felt sick and had to look away. Crona gave a sigh, dropping her hand to her lap, and continued with what she had to say, "Anyway, I guess what I mean is that I know you hate me now, on some level, just like I hated me before I knew that me was me. Do you...do you get it?"
Strangely enough, Kid did understand what she was saying in spite of how fast paced she was saying it. It was like word vomit. She spilled it all out quickly, perhaps for fear of choking on her own words if she held them back any longer.
"I wish I could tell you about all the terrible, nasty things I've done. I've never really told anyone and even the people I have told didn't really seem to care all that much. They get angry, kick things and yell, but they don't ever seem to see me. You know? It's like I'm just an excuse for them to get angry. I'm an excuse for abuse." Her voice broke at the end, tears falling faster as she gave a bitter laugh.
Sniffling, she stared at Kid imploringly only to receive nothing but silence so she kept talking, wanting something, wishing he would just say something instead of sit there listening. It made her nervous. It was almost like...he were judging her...
That wasn't the case, though. He just had no idea what to say.
"I want to tell you so much," Crona confessed as she rested a shaky hand on top of his. She was relieved when he didn't pull away. At least he wasn't yet rejecting her. The pinkette wasn't sure she'd be able to deal with rejection right now, had no idea what she'd do if he rejected her. All she knew was that it'd probably kill her.
"But I can't tell anyone. I-if I do...if I...I can't...let go..."
Shaking her head furiously her hand increased its grip on his, all she wanted then was something to solid to hold on to, something that connected her to reality to keep her from snapping.
Everyone had a breaking point. She'd reached hers a long, long time ago; however, she'd yet reached her shattering point and felt like it would destroy her mentality if she didn't keep her already delicate grip on reality.
"It's scary. Trusting someone to not hurt you. It's freaky scary, Kid, b-but if I had to pick I wouldn't want anyone else to know...about those things...just you...you're the only person I would tell. And if you decided to tell your dad then that'd be okay."
This is where Kid reached a moment of clarity. Crona did need him. She was unstable, dangerous, and what's worse, she knew it. She knew that without him she was on her own and she needed him to keep a grip of herself. So, perhaps her reasons for withholding the truth were somewhat selfish, but she needed him more than she did anyone else. In fact, didn't she just say that he was the only person she wanted to confide in because she trusted him?
Nobody else. She didn't trust anyone else.
It made Kid feel special. And somewhat disturbed, knowing that if anything were to happen to him then Crona was likely to crumble without the needed support. So if there was a random bloodbath it would be his entire fault for screwing up.
No pressure or anything. Ha ha.
"I've never really shared anything too serious with anyone else. At least, not this bad. An-and like I said if I would I could tell you, but I can't so don't be mad. I can make it up to you, really, I can. Y-you just gotta tell me what to do to make you happy and I-"
"I believe you," Kid interjected, not liking where her babbling was heading. "I believe you would make it up to me if you wanted to, but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I'm just glad you don't hate me." She stared at him in silence, apparently doubtful as to how sincere he was. "I'm sorry things have turned out as they have. I-I still love you. I'm just not sure how strong that feeling is. I'll admit, I have been having second thoughts about all this. And if what you've been insisting is true then I won't force you to explain anything."
She blushed. Kid didn't know why, but Crona blushed and stared down at the bedsheets, rubbing her remaining tears away. She kept holding onto his hand, scared that releasing it would make her wake up and realize that this was all a cruel dream and that in real life Kid despised her.
How could he be so understanding? She'd drug him into this dark world of hers yet he forgave her and apologized for no reason at all.
Why did he have to be so complicated? Crona wasn't about to argue or anything it was just that...this seemed so...so weird...pleasant, but in a weird kind of way.
"Could you tell me what that nightmare was about? Would you like to share that–if you can?"
There was hesitation, then she gave a small nod. Really it wasn't that so much as a small, barely noticeable dip of the head. There was a shaky inhale, then exhale as she moved closer to him. Her body language was wary and relaxed, trusting and uncertain all at the same time. She rested her head on his shoulder, hand still holding his and legs pressed gently against his own. It wouldn't be a lie to say this was the closest they'd ever been without any sort of subtle tension that would build to a bursting point and ruin the moment.
"It was the same one I've had a million times before. You'd probably think I'd be used to it by now, but it's worse than ever. I used to never sleep because I was so scared I'd have this dream. Miss. Marie was so nice about it. I used to wake her up and thought she'd be mad, maybe yell at me or something, but she was really nice and stayed with me."
"Of course she did. You're her baby, Crona."
"No, I'm not hers. My mother...my mother...haha...sh-she's...she's..."
"Don't think about her. Think about Marie. She's the only real mother you'll ever have, don't you think?"
"I love her so much. She's one of the only people I can say that about and not feel like a total liar. It's funny. Really funny. Anyway, this dream was...bad...I don't think I was screaming or anything, but...it was still bad."
He pressed his lips to her temple, not realizing it until he stopped. There was a split second where he feared she'd strike him. What with her suddenly going rigid and not saying anything for the next few moments.
Instead, she gave a soft smile.
Her eyes steadied, focusing on him while a very slight tinge of pink spread across her cheeks.
"Th-thanks." she stuttered. If he didn't know any better Kid would have sworn she had taken her medication. She seemed so eerily calm, so peaceful. For a moment, Kid almost felt like he used to when they were together. Almost. Sadly, she snapped out of this daze and got back to the topic at hand, describing the setting of her nightmare as a dark, cold place.
Crona described seeing bright white lights and hearing herself scream, crying, saying something she couldn't make out over a series of deafening sounds...
Thud, thump, scrape, scrape...
Repetitive and cruel, these sounds tortured her as she was overwhelmed and burnt by some sort of unforgiving pain that helped suffocate her until she awoke.
"Sometimes," Crona explained in a broken voice that clawed at Kid's already battered heart all the more, "if I don't wake up it replays and some nights I dream it a zillion times over before waking up. When I was little, Miss. Marie would hold me and make me feel better, but I don't have her tonight s-so could you...please...do it?"
Kid didn't know what to think of this. So for once he didn't think about it. His arms wrapped around her gently and he promised her that everything would be okay. They both knew it was a lie. A comforting lie but a lie all the same. Nevertheless, Crona believed him, letting him whisper more sweet promises that she knew were unlikely to happen. She believed them too.
Soon she was crying and laughing against his chest while he held her and started crying too because he didn't know what else to do and it all felt like too much. Why did Crona have to suffer so much? If possible he'd take all her pain, all her insanity and heartache and give her all that he had if only to see her give one sincere smile while not under the influence of drugs or madness.
Things settled down after a few minutes, tears ceasing to flow as they dabbed at their eyes with the sleeves of their nightclothes, or in Crona's case, seeing as her gown lacked sleeves, Kid's sleeve. And for the next five or so minutes they just sat together in a peaceful silence. Crona was still leaning against him, limp as a ragdoll, but Kid could tell she was thinking of something while he held her.
Breathing in her sweet scent, he enjoyed the faint aroma of vanilla and roses that indicated she'd used both Liz and Patty's shampoos to wash all the blood and grime from her uneven pink tresses.
She nuzzled against him, leaving a string of kisses along his jaw. He was rather surprised not that he wanted her to stop, but only minutes beforehand she had been an emotional wreck.
Her getting so affectionate so quickly was a real surprise.
Kid started to ask if she was thinking clearly only to be stopped when she pulled him forwards a bit, pressing her lips to his with more passion than he had thought her to posses. He kissed back, tender and caring, taking his time. Crona's hands clamped down onto his shoulders as she moved herself closer. Kid's face flushed profusely as he numbly realized she was straddling his lap now.
Crona tugged lightly at his lower lip, as she got used to this new position. It made what she was doing easier, but for some reason Kid was getting awfully red. A sudden giggle forced her to break their lengthy kiss much to both teens' disappointment.
She was starting to feel giddy and liked this contact.
Crona remembered her and Kid had done this before but she hadn't been all that comfortable. Not like she was now. Crona licked his bottom lip, recalling how they'd tried that out before.
Kid didn't seem to notice at first due to how gentle she'd been so she became slightly more aggressive, sucking hungrily on his lower lip, causing Kid to gasp and allowing her the chance to sneak her tongue past his parted lips. Kid didn't seem to mind and was more than willing to go along with it. Crona could tell he was enjoying this intimacy just as she was.
However, one thing she couldn't possibly tell was how Kid was blocking out any thoughts that threatened to ruin the moment, or otherwise tried to convince him that he was being a selfish, thoughtless pig like Soul or Black*Star.
Nope. Those thoughts were dismissed and if this were something to be regretted then he'd have plenty of time to do that later, but at the moment all that mattered was Crona and how her hands tightened their hold on his shoulders, how she gave a breathy moan when he let his own hands move from his to her sides, feeling her shudder beneath his touch.
Pulling away, Crona giggled as his hands moved up and down her sides, pulling him close she neglected his swollen lips to nip at his neck. She was pretty sure that like her, he had a sensitive spot somewhere.
Kid moaned, unintentionally gripping onto Crona's sides. She didn't seem to mind, giving a moan of her own at the increased pressure. He felt her ribs beneath his palms for what seemed like the hundredth time so far. It probably should have concerned him that he could feel her grinning against his skin, but he thought nothing of it...until she sank her teeth into the side of his neck.
He uttered a very peculiar sound that seemed like a scream, moan, and growl combined into one animalistic bark.
Crona gave a breathy laugh, letting him push her away to start treating her neck that was still faintly marked from their last makeout session. Her breathing was as uneven as Kid's but she was sure that she was the only one who was feeling as though the room had suddenly went up about forty degrees. If Kid was bothered he didn't show it as he worked on her neck, drawing out noises from Crona that that ranged from being delicate little mewls to harsh breathy moans.
"K-Kid...l-let me..."
He wanted to keep going. Kid was really enjoying all these different sounds he was bringing out of this girl who was normally so quiet and withdrawn, but he relented to let her do as she pleased, enjoying every second of it as she licked, nipped, and tugged at his heated flesh and before he knew it she had pushed him back to where his back hit the mattress and he lay staring up at her through clouded honey orbs. The boy was dumbstruck at the look that had developed in the other teen's dark orbs. It was so animalistic, so fervent and excited...he liked it...even before she leaned down to connect their lips in another drawn out kiss.
Crona couldn't help herself though. She hadn't felt this good for so long, but Kid was making her feel so much more than just good and it was amazing. All these foreign sensations teasing and taunting her, promising her unbridled bliss, were driving her crazy!
Not literally...
Moreover, she hadn't felt as though she were in control of anything for such a long time that being allowed to hold so much power over Kid made her feel euphoric, drunk almost.
It was all so exhilarating that when she finally had to break the kiss for air she begun unbuttoning Kid's night shirt.
"W-wait, Crona, stop." Kid sat up, ignoring the small growl Crona gave when he grabbed hold of her hands. "What...are you...doing?" he asked, taking a moment to think of those words. His head was still swimming a bit, clouded by lust and the urge to forget about her reasoning to just go along with whatever it was she had in mind.
"Y-you're warm, r-really warm, I-I was just...g-getting this out of the way..."
"Oh. Are you...sure that's a good idea?"
She shrugged, pulling the nightshirt off his well toned form and tossing it to the floor next to the bed. Kid wasn't sure this was too good of an idea. They were beginning to overstep certain boundaries and he had no clue where this would lead.
It wasn't something he gave much thought to since he was more interested in the pinkette who was smiling at him, admiring his build with those glazed dark orbs of hers that took in as much exposed skin as they could get, excited and terrified as they ate up the sight before them. Kid sighed after a moment, glad to have gotten rid of the shirt even if he wouldn't admit it.
The raven-haired youth shuddered ever so slightly when chilled fingers that were slowly warming up clasped onto his shoulders.
He let her push him back down to resume where they'd left off, though Kid started to let his hands wander from her sides to her stomach. He'd always admired her figure and to feel every inch without being pushed away was like a dream come true.
Kid moaned as the girl on top of him squirmed and struggled to keep their kiss up in spite of all the noises she was making. Crona broke the kiss when she gave a startled gasp, feeling Kid's fingers against her naked skin. They had slipped beneath the silky black nightgown without notice, causing her teeth to clench together hard enough that her gums and jaw throbbed dully at the pressure.
She was soon giggling and breathing quicker, getting less oxygen than what she already had been. Kid immediately noticed and removed his hands from beneath the gown in alarm at this reaction.
This seemed to confuse Crona who started to shake from more than just her arousal, staring down at him with a big smile that looked so heartbroken it was painful.
"P-please...d-don't..." she pleaded. Her voice was barely above a whisper, as she rested her hands atop his delicately, and her lithe form slowed its quaking upon realizing he was stroking her face. She pushed the hand away. "D-don't...please, please don't?"
"I'm sorry, I-" he was cut off when she placed a finger to his lips, giving him that same sad smile.
"Sh-shh, don't be...it's n-not your fault...it's not your fault..."
Nuzzling against him she hummed quietly, feeling those hands that had offended and frightened her begin to rub soothing circles into her clothed back. She submitted to the kind treatment, enjoying this serene wave he brought to wash away all of her pain and frustrations.
Kid wondered how she was standing being so close to him. He frightened her, upset her terribly, though unintentionally. And these facts aside, her flesh felt as heated as his did. A gentle hand rested against her cheek, murmuring softly Crona leaned into it, shivering. He found that she was, indeed, burning up and his touch sent her up another ten or so degrees.
So sensitive...
Her cheeks were a charming shade of cherry and he had felt beads of moisture forming on her covered skin just before she pushed him away, not to mention the fact her breathing was quite strenuous; nonetheless, she claimed she was perfectly fine and easily convinced him to forget about it. Who knew something as simple as a kiss could be so powerful?
Crona's breathing hitched as Kid started to kiss down her neck, passing her collar bone and stopping when his lips met not skin but a smooth silky material. It was irritating how the fabric got in his way, making him wish she'd just tear the gown off. That wasn't going to happen though. He knew she wasn't comfortable with that and he wasn't about to force her.
Such an act would have been beyond cruel.
Besides, there was already more than enough unmarred skin for him to kiss, suck, and caress as much as he liked, drawing numerous soft purrs and squeaks from the pinkette on top of him.
Slender fingers fisted dark hair, forcing the other teen to unlatch from his partner's lovebit throat with a deep growl that sounded more animal than human. It surprised the pinkette who stared down at him wide-eyed, whilst his face became an improbable shade of red.
There was a mumbled apology, accepted by a lingering moment filled with hysterical laughter.
Kid knew it was too loud and tried to quiet her in as pleasant a way as possible, pulling her down for a kiss until she had calmed down. She parted their bodies with her hands that had been resting against his chest, pushing herself up while simultaneously pressing him down. Crona gave a contented sigh, though a choked sound wretched itself from her chest. Kid wasn't sure what that was supposed to be but it made something inside him bend to a breaking point.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing...you're really special...ya know? All mine and so special..."
"You're special to me, too. I love you."
That choking sound came back and she cringed. There was a shift in her eyes like a tide swaying with an ocean breeze. A calm settled in place of her tenseness upon realizing that he really meant it, leaving her perplexed. Her insides felt weird. Crona feared for a brief second that she would be sick. She felt kind of like when Marie gave her a hug or Stein complimented her, but it was different. It was much more intense. And–dare she admit it?–she liked it when Kid made her feel this way.
Kid smiled. He could tell she liked hearing that even if it made her appear so stricken.
"I love you," he repeated, more slowly, watching with unfathomable satisfaction as her lips formed a true, though hesitatnt, smile.
There was a general shift of emotion, so many shadows and slivers danced in her mad eyes that Kid expected her to fall into an extreme sense of either joy or despair. But as he studied those dark eyes that fascinated him so much he saw each feeling was passing too fast, vanishing like puffs of smoke before Kid could understand what they were. Perhaps, they passed too quickly for even Crona to understand.
The following kiss was much unlike the others she had initiated, less hungry and more sincere; this time it was slow, placid, and mellow. Kid's heart was already going faster than necessary and such a display of care and control from Crona gave it a reason to happily gallop within his chest.
When their lips parted her breath tickled his ear and her breathy voice, barely more than a whisper, flooded his mind, "You're mine...mine and only mine..."
Kid's mind was too clouded by a blissful haze of love and lust to fully understand what that was intended to mean.
For all he knew, in that moment, her words were the equivalent to an unspoken, "I love you, too." It wasn't those words exactly, but they warmed his heart all the same.
Getting up the pinkette sat staring down at him, uncertain about what to do next, but a delicate shift in position answered that internal pondering. It shouldn't have surprised her so much when she felt it poke against the back of her thigh. The moment she gave a squeak she heard Kid give a sharp hiss of pleasure at the applied pressure, followed by an unintentional buck of his hips that almost sent her falling forwards. Thankfully, she caught herself, fisting bed sheets while a furious blush spread over her cheeks once again. Shaking from a combination of surprise and anxiety she sat up, considering Kid's 'problem' for a long moment.
While she gave it thought, Kid lay beneath her filled with dread.
All this thinking of hers made him really nervous. The first time they were in this position he'd managed to get away, but the second time around she'd been very, obviously, insane and had accused him of being a rapist. The third time around she'd just gave him a nice, solid kick off her.
Kid had no idea what she was thinking about doing now. On one hand she came off as having the ability to reason and think...somewhat...clearly; however, she did not seem to be very stable beyond that. Even when she gave that beautifully sincere smile he could see a wild spark flickering behind it.
"Crona-"
"Hmm?" She was jolted from her thoughts, reminded that Kid was there. She noticed–numbly, resignedly–that he was starting to appear very uneasy. That look in his eyes...it stared up at her, mocking her...
He's just like everyone else... Crona mused, quietly despairing over this newfound realization that threatened to send her off the edge.
Still, she gave a playful smile as she stared down at him, "Oh, hi." She put up a pleasant front, but all she wanted in that moment was to scoop out those eyes and destroy them.
Yes...she'd pluck them out...watch as the red spurted everywhere...or better yet...she could make him watch, see how far his eyestalk would go before snapping...yes, it would be so much fucking fun! A red mist slowly filled the room, filling her vision and nostrils with a sick and sweet odor, and then faint whispers came along with someone, just a vague shadow of a person long since dead, yet he was standing next to her, reminding her of why she hated that look so damn much.
She'd make it stop, silence the buzzing and whispers, send that shadow back to reside in the dark corners of her subconscious
And she might have done just that if not for a phrase that was still fresh in her mind, unexpectedly beating to life like the wings of a frightened hummingbird, "I love you." It snapped her back to reality, bringing her focus back to that bulge prodding her thigh.
Shivering at her own dark thoughts, she shook them away, sickened she had almost broke this wonderful, wonderful boy who still held affections for her. Then again, she remembered, he's crazy in his own sort of way.
We all are.
It just so happened that his OCD probably took his obsession off symmetry and centered on her instead. Well, maybe. He didn't have any creepy shrines or anything so maybe it was just plain craziness that made his love linger. After all, what other reasons could there possibly be for Kid to love someone as freakily fucked up as her? Speaking of which...
Groaning she gave him a quick peck to the lips, pulling away she could tell Kid wanted it to last longer and she could sympathize, but she resisted that temptation to get off him, sitting at the edge of the bed and glancing over her shoulder when he sat up, staring at her inquisitively.
"G-give me a second..." she mumbled, flushing as she sneaked a hand beneath her gown. Kid's eyes widened when he realized what she was doing, unable to look away as her hand paused beneath the gown. It was odd how it shook, how Crona's entire body shook, but he wasn't sure what it could have been other than eagerness as she removed her bleached white panties, dropping them to the floor and turning back to him in less than three minutes time.
"Do you know...what you're," he paused to clear his throat, nervous and embarrassed of what he was asking, "doing?"
"N-not really." she admitted, seeming just as embarrassed, though she focused more on his chest than his face. "I-I'm not very...ex-experienced...with this sort of thing. D-do you know wh-what's s-supposed to happen now?"
Kid was a tad ashamed, yet prideful, as he gave a nod that was a bit too eager. Her confusion and admittance were throughly bemusing, but there was a determination to her that he couldn't explain and he knew she wanted this just as badly. Her body was burning up and he noticed a slight dampness that had developed on the bed sheets where she'd sat after removing her panties. Her hips were also twitching and she was quick to regain control of the situation. Crona gave a shaky exhale, staring down at the boy beneath her. She placed her hand over his erection, pressing down on it experimently, earning a deep groan. She ground her palm against him through the black material, making him hiss and pant lustfully, bucking up into her hand that made the aching need he already felt ten times worse.
"You like it when I touch you, don't you?" Crona smiled, running a teasing finger over the zipper of his pants. Kid groaned as she got off him, sitting next to him. He was about to ask her what she was doing when she hummed, "I don't think there's anything I can do," there was a pause, and then, "unless you do as I did."
He didn't need any explanation, having already considered removing his pants that had seemed to shrink a dozen sizes in such a short span of time. He discarded both pants and boxers where Crona had already tossed his shirt and her panties. Crona busied herself, nipping and sucking at his neck and shoulders while he finished undressing.
She was quick to straddle him once more, grinding their hips together and wrapping her arms around his neck she gave a faint purr, as their lips melted together in yet another heated kiss.
Crona could feel his hands at her waist, wandering down to take a firm hold of her hips, but what really had her attention was how the head of his cock was rubbing up against some part of her that made firecrackers go off behind her eyelids. Her arms left his neck and fell to his shoulders, hugging him tightly while she rested her head in the crook of his neck, moaning quietly as she indulged in the pleasurable sensations.
Apparently, Kid knew about this spot, purposefully grinding against it to incite a breathy moan accompanied by a hard jerk of her hips.
Hissing, moaning, panting the two held each other close, enjoying the feel of their bodies so close. Blushing, Crona wished she could enjoy his teasing for another minute or two, but she needed more than just this slight friction.
Through the thick haze of lust clouding his mind, Kid knew he should warn Crona to be careful, to take things slow otherwise she would end up hurting herself, especially if her body wasn't ready to be penetrated. Although, judging from the dripping, sticky wetness and heat he could feel rubbing against his throbbing member he knew she was more than ready, but it was only fair to give her a warning beforehand.
He opened his mouth to tell her, only to release a feral cry when she sank down onto his hard cock, squealing in surprise when a sharp pain accompanied the penetration. Kid only felt bliss as he was encased in a tight, slick heat that made his lust flare and hips twitch with the urge to buck.
Crona, on the other hand, gritted her teeth at the feeling of being stretched and filled. Her chest was tightening and face heating up. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to not squirm or move since it only made her feel worse and for an instant she wanted to tear Kid's throat out. Instead she gripped onto his shoulders, nails digging into his back, and her breathes started coming in harsh pants that gave off little whimpers in between.
Kid moaned, feeling her clench around him and every little move she made tempted him to just pin her down and satisfy himself, but Kid managed to keep from moving too much, allowing Crona time to adjust to these new sensations. He watched her expression, eyes shut and mouth unable to close from all the panting gasps and whimpers she was emitting. For a minute Kid feared she was about to suffer a panic attack, but she managed to gain control of herself, though she was unable to keep herself from twitching and squirming as she tried to make this feel less awkward.
"Ugh...K-Kid...i-it r-really...ah...it hurts!" she whined, struggling to keep herself in control and not tear Kid's back apart.
"I know," he murmured, moaning as she squirmed, "I know, but...ah...you need to m-move."
Nodding, groaning, Crona done as told, pulling herself up and sinking back down, glad she didn't have as much trouble as she had initially thought she would. Kid moaned, meeting her with a buck that forced his name from her lips.
Doubtful as she may have been, Crona noticed how the friction did lessen the pain...and...as crazy as it may be...she liked it...
She enjoyed this pain and the pleasure derived from their friction. And from the blissful look fluttering in Kid's eyes she knew he did too. Crona rose and fell, setting the pace that Kid fell into with ease. He met her each time with well-aimed thrusts that struck her g-spot each time, sending white lights off in Crona's head and bringing a symphony of gaspy exclamations. It wasn't long before she was screaming and panting his name, overcome by pleasure.
Her nails were like razors, cutting viciously into Kid's back, tearing open the old scratch marks that had been so close to healing, blood beading up in some places whilst other places puffed up, darkening to a pink.
Hisses of pain mingled with fervent cries and bliss-filled moans. His own nails began to dig into her hips as he sped up his thrusts, feeling himself nearing the edge. Kid could feel her lift a shaking hand, fingers threading through his hair, and then gripping on as hard as she possibly could, jerking his back so quickly that he swore a bone popped.
Moaning, her mouth found its way to the crook of his neck, teeth sinking into his flesh so hard that Kid feared she was trying to draw blood.
Her body then gave a sharp jolt, back arching and her mouth came open, releasing what sounded like a cross between a gasp and a whine. Her vision was briefly clouded by a flash of white and for a moment she forgot about everything. She could feel Kid release inside of her, making her shudder as she basked in the afterglow, neglecting how his arms held her close. Resting her head against his chest, her lips turned up in a smile of satisfaction. It was almost like every broken part of her life had been glued into place. Only for it all to come back, shattering into a million pieces, as she realized just what they'd done, but she was suddenly drained, too tired to care about any of it.
Kid seemed to share the same sentiments.
He separated from her as gently as he could, quickly pulling on his boxers while she worked to get her panties back on, having a hard time since her body was still somewhat shaky and her legs were starting to feel kind of rubbery. Kid winced and grimaced from the claw marks as well as the forming bruise on his shoulder. He could tell that would take a while to heal, longer than the nail marks probably would at any rate. "Are you all right?" he asked, noticing how shaky she was.
"Um-hmm." She nodded. This was, of course, a lie.
Kid sensed it, noticed how she scooted herself away from him so that there was a good two to three inches of space between them. Her face was beyond red as she gripped her arm in the nervous manner that she did, but her nails dug into her flesh, leaving crescent shaped impressions.
Confusion, disappointment, frustration, and shame were just a minor sample of the emotions twisting and bending her insides like putty. She noticed some of their bodily fluids had smeared Kid's sheets. It was disgusting, humiliating. Bringing her knees up to her chest, Crona hugged them and buried her face against them. Kid sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to console her. She flinched away, sniffling, as though he'd struck her.
"Crona," Kid tried, brushing hair from her face, "what's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
She shook her head slowly from side to side.
"Then what is it?"
The pinkette looked up to him, eyes teary and leaking. He kissed away the salty drops, surprised when she gave him a harsh shove.
"Crona-"
"Leave me alone." she said, voice choked, as tears running down her pink tinged face.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying? I...if I hurt you-"
"No, you didn't hurt me. I just...I don't...understand why you're still here. I don't know why it hurts so much. Why are you still talking to me?"
"Excuse me?" Kid blinked. He had absolutely no idea what she meant. "I'm afraid I don't understand..."
"You got what you wanted so why do you still care whether I'm okay or not?! That's not how this works!"
Kid stared at her, analyzing her expression.
She was losing it as reality made everything painfully clear, but she was serious in her reasoning. He understood what she meant and knew that their reasons for...doing what they did...were bound to be different. Kid just hadn't expected her to react or think as she was, but then he thought of that girl in the picture, the one who grew to be the same one sitting next to him in tears and on the verge of a meltdown.
"Crona, just because we've...been intimate...doesn't mean I'm going to up and leave you."
"Why not? That's all men want and when they get it they fucking leave!"
"I won't," he promised, gaze refusing to falter even when she turned those dismal eyes on him. "I will never leave you, Crona, not if I can help it. Remember when we were at the park? And you asked me why people have sex?" He didn't wait for her to answer, continuing on without hesitation, "I told you they did it because they really love each other and to show how much they trust and love each other. Do you remember that?"
She didn't respond, letting him continue with his little speech.
"I meant it when I said that even if you didn't take me seriously at the time. I meant it, Crona, and I mean it when I tell you that's why I..." he didn't have to finish that sentence for her to understand, so skipping ahead he got to the point, not wanting to waste all night arguing with her, "and it's why I won't leave you. It's nice, being intimate is very nice, but...it's not...don't ever think it's the only reason I'm with you."
"Then why...why be with me at all?"
Instead of repeating himself for the zillionth time Kid gave a sigh, smiling softly, patiently, as he leaned in to give her lips a gentle peck.
Flushing to a bright pink, Crona looked down at the bed sheets, not quite certain she could grasp the concept he was trying so hard to make her understand. He claimed to love her, yes; however, she had heard countless others say those same sweet words.
She had heard them enough to know that nine times out of ten it was the very person that claimed to love you who hurt you the most and because of this she was uncertain if Kid could be trusted. If she let her guard down he'd probably stab her in the back, turn her in to his dad, he would do something to hurt her. Crona was scared.
So scared he would hurt her.
He'd been so gentle, yet so stern thus far, but she knew that when the morning came and they got up to continue on with their lives he would be the benevolent good guy who'd live up to his father's reputation, get married to a girl as perfectly proper as him, and then live his life happily ever after. She, on the other hand, would be the loony basket case destined to die as the result of an overdose.
With this in mind, Crona wondered just how much he could trust Kid. His entire being swore that he would never leave her, always love her and be there for her...no...no, that wasn't right...
That's not how things were supposed to work...he should hate her, be determined to kill her, but instead he professed love and forgiveness, tenderly caressing her face and whispering reassuring words and promises that twisted her heart more than his declaration of love prior to them making love.
More tears came, but these were shed for an entirely different reason. Her chest ached and soul was twisting itself in a torturous fashion. Crona wished she could understand what was happening between them, explain why nothing was going like it was supposed to, but she came up blank and in the end let him hold her.
Kid cradled her against his chest and hummed softly, whilst a hand ran through her soft strands. It was soothing, it should have made her feel better, but she just felt like a huge bitch. She wished it were possible for her to stay suspended here in time with Kid.
She wished it were possible for them to be together like this forever and that she could forget about all the horror and bloodshed she had endured, forget about her nightmares, forget about her guardians worrying over her, just forget any and every bad thing so she could enjoy this embrace and the warm feelings Kid stirred within her.
Lying back, Kid place a kiss to her forehead, hugging her close to him with the arm that was wrapped around her waist, while he used his free hand to pull the blankets over them. Kid done his best to ignore those incriminating stains, internally promising himself that he would get them cleaned first thing in the morning. His mind switched gears from them rather quickly when Crona nestled against him, body slowly relaxing in his hold and going limp. Her thin form felt so small and fragile in his hold that if he hadn't witnessed her abilities firsthand, he would not have been able to hold her so firmly without worry.
He watched her eyes, which were only partially open, slowly flutter shut. Her breathing evened out and within a few minutes time she lay asleep in his arms. Kid smiled at her sleeping form, giving her one last kiss before he laid his head back against his pillow and also drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
And here's the promised update! Later–much later–than I said it would be, but it's here!
Yayz! XD
Totally my–and school's–fault. My cousin was lead technician for the drama club so I helped out with their production, Xanadu, which was hilarious! Also, I drowned in school work and struggled with a research paper for most of the week. Yesterday, Saturday, was my chill day from all the stress so I didn't get to finishing this chapter until today. However, due to me not thinking ahead I ended up editing it all at once.
Sucktastic, right? Wrong!
I found it to be fairly easy and even tweaked/changed a few parts, but I am so happy to have finally gotten this lemon out! I struggled with that decision, but thanks to chasezx3 suggesting I try some romance I went with it; however, I wasn't sure how to work around to that so I spent a day or two thinking on it before actually writing it. Unfortunately, I wasn't keen on having Kid confide to others about his suspicions. So for now he's keeping things to himself.
Also, I would like to take votes on whether or not Justin should die or not. Please consider this carefully, the decision could possibly alter the ending to this story. Please review and let me know what you think!
I'll get started on the next chapter as soon as I can, but it'll probably be next week before it comes out. I get a vacation from school then and it will be a good chance for me to get more done with this story-among others that have yet been completed.
~With Love, Fairylust~
