Maladjusted

Chapter 43

Lee entered the apartment slowly knowing he had some major apologizing to do and called out, "Amanda? You here?"

Amanda answered, "I'm in the kitchen. I'll be right out. Why don't you fix us drinks?"

Lee thought, She seems calm. Maybe it's an act. I'd better be on my guard.

He replied, "Red or White wine tonight?"

Amanda commented, "Red, please."

Lee nodded as he went to work on them asking, "Something smells good, but I thought we'd be eating at home?"

Amanda came out of the kitchen and taking the glass he offered responded, "Thank you. No, actually I called and told Mother without getting too detailed that we had to have some time to ourselves tonight to work some things out and not to wait up."

Lee sighed as he led her to the couch and they sat down.

Lee replied, "Honey, I'm sorry I said the things I did. I don't know what got into me-"

Amanda shook her head cutting him off as she answered, "Plain and simple jealousy. I can't fault you for that. I mean, look at all the women you went out with before I even entered your life. I'm just as much to blame here as you. I can't tell you the number of times I was insecure every time we ran into one of your old girlfriends. Not to mention how many years now I had to work along Francine-"

Lee sipping his scotch began coughing and Amanda patted his back urgently stating, "Are you all right, Sweetheart?"

Lee nodded as he coughed trying to clear his throat as Amanda rushed to get him water and bringing it to him commented, "Shh. Just sip this. C'mon..."

Lee did as she asked and put the water glass down finally and clearing his throat replied, "Th-Thank you. Wrong pipe."

Amanda nodded commenting, "Yeah. I hate when that happens. You okay now?"

Lee nodded slowly and responded with hoarseness, "Yeah. I'll be fine, thanks."

Amanda sighed and remarked, "All right. So...That move you asked me about?"

Lee shook his head answering, "Sweetie, I-"

Amanda replied, "It was from a book I read in college. I-I thought it might help me gain some confidence while I dated. But it just made me even more timid. I never tried it with anyone before you. I'm sorry I scared you but I couldn't even get up the nerve while I was married to Joe. It-It just didn't feel right to me, you know? So, I did what came naturally. It wasn't so bad. Joe and I were happy for a while and we got two great kids out of our marriage."

Lee sighed and responded, "Sweetheart, you are plenty sexy for me. You don't have to try to change for me, okay? Just being around you intoxicates me. As far as other women were concerned I didn't ever feel for them what I felt for you since the day I met you. I was pretty slow in realizing it, though. So if it seemed like I wasn't interested at all, it was just my head trying to deny what I wanted after all in my heart."

Amanda swallowed hard and answered quietly nodding, "I-I think it was that way for me, too. I mean, I just accepted in my head that we were from two different worlds and that it wouldn't work anyway. But in my heart? Well, that was a different story..."

She shook her head remarking, "Every time we had a case where we had to pretend to be engaged or married threw me. I mean here you were, this supposedly debonair agent who could have any woman he wanted and what happened? You were stuck with someone like me-"

Lee began protesting when she cut him off stating, "Not that I don't consider myself pretty at all! But let's face it. All the women you've been out with were far more superior and worldly than I could ever be-"

Lee put a finger to her lips to silence her and answered, "Honey, I had a tremendous ego back then! And they stroked it enough to where I could be a real jerk at times. But a lot of them didn't care. They got to hang on my arm at the best restaurants in D.C. or wherever I was at the time. But I was honest about where I stood as far as a relationship went. Casual. No entanglements to where it would get messy, you know?"

Amanda nodded and queried softly, "So, what about Francine? And Eva? You almost married her-"

Lee sighed stating, "Eva was basically a job for me. But I made the boneheaded mistake of falling for her anyway. It destroyed me when she told me she was marrying Angelo Spinelli. Before I had a chance to ask her, off she went."

Amanda nodded and asked then, "And Francine?"

Lee thought carefully for a moment and stated, "Honestly? She's the only one that I'm still friends with even though we didn't work out. We didn't date long, but I think we knew almost immediately that friends and co-workers is all we should and could be. Anyway, you've seen what we're like around each other. It's been fine. No harm, no foul as the saying goes...Now, I have to ask you something and I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me. But this guy Jim you saw in Hilton Head? What happened there?"

Amanda leaned back against Lee sighing as she remarked, "Well, I was still married to Joe of course then. But I never cheated. He was just someone I met when I went there to visit one of my girlfriends that summer of 1981. We did a lot of talking. He was interested, but I knew I couldn't let it go too far. He understood I think about what I was dealing with so he didn't push. He turned out to be a very nice man who understood when it was over, it was over."

Lee pondered that for a moment and then asked quietly as he held her,"Okay. So, are we all right now?"

Amanda then staightened and sat up replying, "I-I think so. Unless there are other skeletons in your closet we need to clean out?"

Lee kissed her tenderly and commented shaking his head, "No, I'm good...And since you know I've never cleaned your closet, I-"

Amanda shook her head as they hugged slowly, "Mine's clean as a whistle as well now..."

Just then the oven timer went off with the two getting up and bringing their drinks to the dining room table and going to get their dinner.

They spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing like they hadn't in a very long time.

It was just what they needed to do to relieve themselves from the stress of the last few months of pain they'd endured...

TBC