Disclaimer : I don't own it.


(Decepticon Base, Normal POV)

The remaining Decepticons couldn't help but wince every time the heard the screams of rage. Even Sideways, glaring down at the pile of dust that a scan prooved used to be Scalpel, couldn't help but wince. He sneered at the other Decepticons in the medical bay, struggling to make sense of odd tools, and talking among themselves about different medical procedures.

"Forget that slag!" He hissed darkly, fingers clenching around a handful of dust he'd swooped down to grab. "Forget the medical practice! Master Starscream doesn't care about that! Get out there and track down the traitors!" The last of his sentence ended up a yell as he stood harshly, whipping his hand around as it transformed into a blaster, and firing at a spot near one of their heads. "Now!"

The mechs scrambled out of there, grumbling and growling, but not daring to defy him, and behind their backs, he smirked. Soon, he found himself alone in the medical bay, and began puttering around aimlessly, thinking.

That fragging femme... She comes along with some insane theory I'm working for Unicron... His optics flashed darkly. I don't work for anyone but myself. He spotted several tools knocked about, and hissed as his optics landed on the very one he'd watched Scalpel use to sever the connection lines to her wrist port. What does she know? Barricade knows, and promptly has Scalpel disconnect the lines.

He picked up a cutting tool, the cutting tool used for the job, eyeing it warily. How could she know? I did work on both sides, for a while. Not for Unicron, as far I knew the ancient God was just a myth. I did it to further this pathetic war. He abruptly smirked again. If both sides wear themselves down to nothing, killing the leader of the remaining Decepticons, and gaining control, should be easy. Then I can lead them to true victory over the pathetic Autobots, and rule this universe.

There was a low snarl in the hall, and Sideways spun. He recognized the vocal processors immediately, but briefly contemplated blasting at the bot as he entered, anyways. He could claim it an accident, or use it as a way to move up in the ranks. But...if he missed the target, by even the slightest amount, he wouldn't live long enough to see his plans to fruition.

That was the only reason he remained standing, not battle ready, as the doors slid open and a rather irate Starscream stomped in.

"Anything?"

Sideways bowed his head, both in respectful greeting -though the last thing he felt for this moron was respect- and to hide the flash of his optics. "No, my lord. We are still looking for any clues as to what has made them react this way." Knowing the truth or not, Barricade's Dead End's and even Blackout's betrayals were honestly confusing.

"I don't give a flying defrag what caused them to do what they did! I just want them found! I will figure out why they've acted as they have and what to do with them after they've been brought to me. I don't care about Dead End or Barricade, but I want Blackout and the femme online! Slag, if he's even still online, do what you want with that Autobot sleaze! Just bring me Blackout and the femme!" With another snarl, Starscream spun, leaning heavily against the door frame a moment, before hissing lowly and leaving the room.

"Seems you are still having issues with your system stabilizers, 'Screamer." Sideways murmured, sneering in the darkness of the medical bay. "Better keep an optic on that." Dropping the tool casually to the ground, Sideways stepped around it. He stepped right in the pile of ashes that had once been Scalpel, before exiting the medical bay and heading down a hall.

I'll find that femme, and I will get the information from her. Frag you, Starscream! You're so pathetic, you can't even keep the Decepticons in line. On the upside, their betrayal has solidified my place once again by his side.

With the dark sneer fixed firmly to his facial plates, Sideways exited the labrynth of hallways and transformed, racing towards the nearest town while stretching his sensors as far as they could go.


(Bella's POV)

How long was I crying? When I finally opened my eyes, which burned like hell and felt rusted shut -possibly literally- I noticed first off that it was considerably darker in the cab. The second thing I noticed, was how quiet it had gotten. No, wait, scratch that. It was quiet before, but I could still hear noise. Now it was silent. And where's Optimus?

Blinking the burriness from my eyes, and I breathed heavily, shaking my head a little and curling further against the warm surface I was laying against.

Wait...laying?

"I see you are awake. Are you feeling better, now?"

It was the deep, more metallic voice, and considering the rumbling baritone, it had to be his real voice. Blinking from my daze, I focused and found myself facing a darkly colored leather surface. It took me a moment to recognize it as the padded back wall of the sleeper. I shifted and felt blankets move.

Wow, I actually cried myself to sleep? That was a first.

I sat up slowly, turning, and startling at the literally glowing blue eyes facing me. Optimus' holographic form ducked his head, and a light on the ceiling came on, illuminating the interior more. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to startle you. You fell into recharge, and I allowed you to recharge in peace. Ratchet has informed me that your systems were strained under the stress you've been feeling."

"Ratchet's probably ready to add to that stress by chasing me down with a wrench." I added hesitantly, wincing. "I take it he's pretty steamed I took off?" It all rushed to the front of my mind, and my body tensed of it's own accord as I remembered everything that led to me being here. I moved to turn around, and my hand fell into a wet spot on the sheets of the 'bed' below me, where my tears must have pooled, and I winced again. "Oh, geez! Sorry!" I brushed at the spot, wringing at it, before realizing the sheet was holographic, and I was wringing at an Autobot...

There was a low, brief chuckle. "It's quite alright. The energon tears will do no harm to my systems, and they will dry into nothing very quickly. As for your question, as far as I am aware, Ratchet's body temperature should not rise high enough for him to...'steam' as you put it." Then there was a pause, as I shot him a raised eyebrow, sitting up on the side of the sleeper bed. "Or was that another 'turn of phrase'?" I nodded. "I see."

"He's not happy I left..."

Optimus adopted an immediately wry look. "When is Ratchet ever happy?" The unexpected reaction made me laugh, and I shook my head. Then I raised my head and looked at him, again, not sure what to say, only to pause at the look on his face. There was another pause. This one almost expectant. When I just continued to regard him silently, he vented softly, eyes softening in a look of concern as he sat next to me. "You have yet to answer my qestion. Are you feeling better?"

"Everyone thinks I'm a traitor." I shook my head, lowering my gaze. "I'm a prisoner, like I just knew was gonna happen. Sunstreaker thinks I'm in love with Barricade-" Realizing then that he might not be the only one, I shot Optimus what I'm sure was a fairly sour look. "I'm not! The point is... Everything's going wrong. How can I be 'feeling better'? I just...wanna go home!"

"This is your home now-"

I shook my head again, and he fell silent, eyeing me warily. "No, it's not. This is the furthest fragging thing from a home. It's a prison. I'm more a prisoner here than I was with the 'Cons." His eyes darkened then. "I believe a home is where the heart is. It's where you feel comfortable, safe, loved, wanted..."

"Bella..." Optimus vented.

"I wanna go home. I'm not a soldier, and if you mean what you said about me not being a prisoner, then you can't keep me there. That's kidnapping, and really wrong for an Autobot to do, if you're so bent on protecting humans." I gave him a look. I'm not sure what it held, probably equal parts pain, anger, confusion, fear.

He eyed me back warily. "Your human government is difficult to work with. I have made few allies with them, and the allies I have all have to answer to a higher up power. That power believes you to be a threat."

"The president's a grade A moron, and everyone knows it." I snorted a little, shaking my head. "You'd be alarmed how quickly everyone went from cheering his name when he was appointed, to loathing his very presence."

"Regardless..."

"So I am a prisoner then." A cold shiver of dread stole through me then. "So...when are you gonna lock me up?"

"We do have some power on this base. We are using it to keep you out of a holding cell or restraints of any kind. I understand you wish to leave. I am...not pleased with your decision, but it is your decision. I will see what I can do, but chances of you getting permission to leave the island are slim at the moment. At least until we can get the connection cables repaired to your data transfer port, and can verify for ourselves that the Decepticons have not damaged you in some way that we are not aware of."

I drew my knees to my chest, a chill settling into my body that was almost frightening. I could almost see the human government storming down the doors, demanding me so they could experiment on me. I mean, the Autobots were guests on the planet, they couldn't very well stop the humans without starting a war on our front, too. Which would be a very bad thing, obviously.

If the humans wanted me, I was a sitting duck here.

I had to escape!

"Isabella-" Optimus' warning tone had my head shooting up. My eyes were burning hotly with fresh tears -would the damn crying ever end?- and I watched as his expression turned pained. "I am aware that humans, when feeling trapped, often attempt to escape. Whether to break out, or run away. Either way, I would not suggest attempting it. Your human government would take immediate action to seize you and remove you from our care."

"You mean they're not gonna, anyways?" Sure, it was a bitter tone, but it was the truth. "If they want me, there's nothing you can do to stop them."

He frowned, but maybe he recognized the truth in my words, because he didn't say a thing. Instead, he seemed to think for a very long moment, before sighing deeply. "You are Cybertronian now. Whether you feel it or not, you are one of us, and you have more allies among us than you may believe." His holoform stood then, and his head turned away. A moment later, and he turned back, and odd look in his eyes. "Ratchet wishes to speak with you, in the medical bay. I've given the soldiers orders to leave you to make your own way there, but Will was insistant, for your own safety, of escorting you himself."

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Sarah Lennox will be joining him with their sparkling, Annabelle."

That brought me up short. I glanced up at Optimus from where I was curled, and could see the gentle look in his holographic eyes. He smiled ever so slightly, though it looked worried and strained, and nodded, before holding out a hand. I didn't think twice. Grabbing it, I let him haul me to my feet, and I startled as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight, oddly comforting hug.

I couldn't help but smile. "Optimus, has anyone told you, you have this... I don't know, big brotherly or fatherly sense about you?" I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back.

"I believe I have heard that somewhere, yes." His tone was dry. I felt him shift as his holoform sighed, and he tightened his hold. "Many bots have lost loved ones. Mates, creators, sparklings... We have all seen such loss and pain. We've grown together as a family, and love each other dearly. You will grow to know these things as well." As he pulled back, I could see the pain in his eyes. "And for that, I am both sorry and grateful."

"You and me both." If it happens. Still waiting to be 'accepted', first. I let my hair curtain my face as I tilted my head down, and waited until he let me go. "Sorry for getting your shirt and sheets all soggy." I cringed internally. Rika would have had a field day with that. "Thanks...for letting me cry on your shoulder."

I felt his hand brush through my hair, and I was oddly reminded of the thought that I hadn't showered in a while. Then I mentally wondered if Autobots ever needed to bathe -other than when really nastily filthy, that is- and if so, did they just bathe? Or was there more to it?

Turning my thoughts to the present, I sighed and made my way through the truck. When I got to the front it hit me, it wasn't night. Even as I watched, Optimus let his windows lighten, and I pursed my lips momentarily, before climbing hesitantly out the open door.

"Bella." Will was frowning, but when I glanced over, I was surprised to see it was a more concerned frown. "You okay?"

"Nope." I popped the 'p' in there, and turned towards the door, ignoring the odd stares as I walked through the hangar.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope." Same tone, same popping the 'p'. I made it sound light, but I really didn't want to talk about it. Despite Optimus' warning, I just...couldn't stay here. It would be a one-track, fast-track to losing what was left of my sanity.

The walk was silent. Even as Sarah joined us, handing Annabelle to Will, no one said a word. I was more than aware that I was being stared at, and I couldn't help but glance briefly over at Annabelle.

And that made everything worse. A thousand times worse.

My chest clenched so tightly, I stumbled a little, waving off reaching arms as I nearly dashed into the medical bay. This time, the room was empty, but for Ratchet. He must have seen to move the twins while I was gone, and for once, it barely phased me. Will and Sarah didn't follow me, luckily, and I clenched my eyes shut, trying to ignore the longing and unbelievable pain rushing through me.

"Isabella? Are you unwell?"

Never. I'll...never be able to have a family, a baby. Sure, if I'm really lucky, I might find somebot to settle down with, but... How long will that take? Will I live long enough for it to happen? Will I be lucky enough for that to happen? Will I ever be comfortable enough with who and what I've become?

Almost against my will, my mind began shoving images to the forefront of me holding a baby. Some faceless guy, or rather... Sunstreaker's face appeared in my vision, and I nearly reached for a table saw to rectify that issue, before just forcing myself to make it a faceless guy..

He stood next to me, a warm, solid arm wrapped around me. I held a beautiful little baby girl in my arms, staring up at me with adoration and love, from the most innocent, bright blue eyes...

The pain that coursed through me as my heart hummed harshy, had me whimpering. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling like I was about to come apart at the seams, quite possibly literally, and let out a shuddering breath. It felt like my heart was trying to work it's way out of my chest, and I felt heat flashing through me, blinding me with an overwhelming urge to...to...

To...what...?

A tingling ran through me then, knocking the image out of my mind as I focused immediately on the present.

"Oh, slag!"

Before I could blink, I was being picked up in a pair of giant hands and pressed to a warmth that soothed me in ways that honestly frightened me. I could feel energy crackling in my chest and his, and the warm pulsing of...was that his spark? A large something, probably a finger, prodded lightly at my back, before starting slow, almost calming strokes down my spine.

"W-What's happening?" I shuddered.

"Oh Primus, femme. We've been far too hard on you." Ratchet's voice guided my head up to his face, and I watched, shocked, as he stared down at me with a look of worry. His optics were bright as he ran a single finger down my back, and I leaned against his chest. "You are experiencing something known as spark-calling. It is when the programming of a young femme spark longs to create and carry life, searching for a spark compatible with it. It activates a powerful urge to create a sparkling, have a family, so to speak."

"In other words, what? I'm in heat? I want a baby?" I gasped a little as the heat seemed to ebb and flow. "My biological clock is ticking?" Oh hell no! Tell me I'm misunderstanding this! I'm in bloody heat? I had a feeling if I spent too much time thinking about it, I might literally die of humiliation.

"Quite literally." He mused, frowning. "I often allow myself to forget how young some of my patients are. You may be considered an adult in every society, but you are still quite naive and innocent in much. It is...frightening. I have never seen such innocence, besides that of your species, and never to such a degree." He shook his head. "The feeling will fade within a day or two. It is much like going into heat for femmes, however, the more you deal with it, the easier it will get."

"Was that why my chest felt like it was super sensitized when I brushed it against Sunstreaker's?" And Sideswipe's Oh Primus! How would that even work? Wait, what am I asking? If I kept shaking my head like this, I was going to shake the screws and nuts lose and my head was going to fall off, but I couldn't help it. Neither of them even like me! Mates is absolutely out of the question!

But, be that as it may, I couldn't help but wonder...

Did the twins come as a set? Any femme with one twin, did she share with the other? Were they that close? Or was it a femme to a twin?

WHY the bloody hell was I even thinking about that?

"Do I dare ask why you are brushing your chest against Sunstreaker's?" Ratchet's optics got, if possible, even brighter, and his hands tightened around me.

"Oh, you know, I thought I'd get myself knocked up so I could have my very own sparkling." My God it was disturbing the idea didn't bother me as much as I thought it would! I listened to the choking sound Ratchet made. "Geez, don't have a sparkling, man!" If I'd been feeling better, I might have laughed. Then I paused. "Wait, is that even possible?" I glanced up at Ratchet, my eyes wide, and blinked. "How does that entire sparkling thing work?"

Then, I yelped, clinging to the front chest lights -huh, gives a whole new meaning to 'healights'- as Ratchet suddenly fell over with an odd, quiet 'click'. I grunted as he hit the ground, causing the entire building to quake, and I ducked for cover a moment, before hesitantly looking up.

"Ratchet?" I leaned up, carefully climbing out from under his hands to stand on his chest and look down at his face. "Ratchet?"

He was out cold. For a moment, I could only stare. He'd been fine a moment ago!

Then all hell broke lose.

Optimus and Ironhide ran into the room, looking around wildly. I spun to face them, still in shock, and found myself the target of those cannons once again. That's getting a little old. Ironhide glared at me a long moment, before tilting his head to the side a little. A sharp hiss and several clicks later, he ducked his head down and his cannons disappeared.

"Bella?" Optimus swiftly with a creak of ancient-sounding gears, knelt to one knee. "What happened?"

I looked up at him. I wouldn't be surprised if my eyes fell out, they were so wide. I just...stared at him. Then I looked to Ratchet. Then to Ironhide, who was looking more and more confused. "I..." I looked to offline Ratchet, feeling the pulse of his spark beneath my feet. "I..." My eyes went to Optimus, and my jaw dropped. "Oh my God, I killed Ratchet!"


Dear Diary,

Ever have one of those 'headdesk' moments? Yeah, well, I'm living one of those. Even as the words slip out, I'm mentally smacking myself. Afterall, I can feel the warmth and pulsing of his spark, meaning I sure as hell didn't kill him. Then, Ironhide brings his cannons out yet again!

Remind me to fill those with silly string one day. I'd like to see him face off a Decepticon with those cannons. 'Ya feel lucky, punk?', and BAM! He shoots the 'Con with silly string. It guarantees he'd never aim them at me again.

Well, at least not without following through with the threat, anyways.

Meanwhile, Optimus is sitting here laughing his ass off at me, causing Ironhide to lower his weapons without needing to be told. He asks for an explanation, I give it, and now they're both laughing at me.

Geez! Is it my fault Dr. Minty can't take a joke?

-Bella


Written : Sept 5, 2010

Hope you like it.

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Thank you

Tenshi