Chapter 53 – It's Over Now
Gaara held back his grimace as he ate the food Naruto had ordered for him. It wasn't that he didn't like it because it was… No. He didn't like it. There was nothing more to it. He still ate it, though. Not because he felt as though he had to, but because he wanted to. Sakura had asked him to give Naruto a chance, to be his friend and he was going to try. For her.
"So, Gaara," Naruto spoke despite the fact that his mouth was full, forcing Gaara to hold back yet another grimace at the sight, "how did you meet Sakura–chan?"
He wanted to talk about Sakura? "Detention."
The way Naruto barked out a laugh as he slapped his hand to the counter made him shoot the blond a wary glance. Sakura had warned him that Naruto was goofy and a little hyperactive, but nothing could have prepared him for this. They had been hanging out for over an hour now and he had discovered that Naruto was his exact opposite!
"Detention?" Naruto continued to laugh. "Oh, that sounds just like her!"
"It does?" Gaara didn't think that it did.
"Mm–hm!" He shoved another mouthful of ramen into his mouth and after swallowing it, he turned to face Gaara. "Well, I mean the old her. You see, Sakura–chan used to be in detention all the time. Actually… I don't think she ever turned up for them, now that I think about it."
Gaara's eyes narrowed but he forced himself to relax. "She's different now."
"I know." At his sombre tone, Gaara turned to face him. "And I'm trying to understand her it's just… It's hard. I feel like I don't deserve to try and understand her, you know?" When Gaara frowned, Naruto looked down at the counter, his blond eyebrows knitting together. "All those months I left her alone – well, not completely alone because she had you, but you get what I mean, don't you?" He nodded once, his frown deepening slightly. "I want to be there for her this time, I really do, but I don't know how to be. Sakura–chan is so different now. She's so much better than how she used to be and don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for her, but now I feel like I don't even know her."
"You don't know her." Naruto sent him a glare but Gaara simply returned it. "But… even though it hurt her that you weren't there, I know that Sakura will forgive you." he paused for a moment, turning back to his half–full bowl. "She's trying to forgive you and everyone else, but it's hard for her. When she needed you most, none of you were there for her and even though I didn't know the 'old' Sakura that well, only knowing her from the rumours I heard about her, I knew enough about her to know that she would have been there for you all no matter what."
There was a sound of somebody letting out a huff of breath and when he looked to the side, he saw Naruto scratching his head. "You really know how to make a guy feel bad, don't you?" Then, he suddenly grew serious. "I know better than anyone how loyal Sakura–chan is. I don't know much about the new Sakura–chan, but I want to try and get to know her. She was my best friend, you know?" The pained look on Naruto's face looked so out of place, even to Gaara. "I… I miss her. And I don't mean in the romantic way, because I know that she loves you more than anything. And I'm okay with that because you make her happy. That's all I've ever wanted for her."
He sighed, putting his elbows on the counter and resting his head in his hands, leaning over his forgotten ramen. Suddenly, he wasn't feeling hungry anymore. "I was stupid to think that she could care for me in any way other than friendship. Well, since we… you know… I guess I wasn't completely stupid… but…" At Gaara's glare, he quickly shut up. "When I heard about her and Sasuke – well, I didn't hear, I was sent a video of them together – I got jealous and angry because they hid it from me like I was a child. If he made her truly happy, then I would have supported them. Yeah, it'd hurt like hell, but I still would've done it." Naruto sighed again, running both his hands up his face until they were tangled in his hair. "Everything that night… It got so out of control. I didn't mean to snap like that at them. I didn't mean to start fighting with Sasuke and hurt Sakura–chan and then…" Gaara was honestly surprised when Naruto's eyes filled with tears. "If I had known about what would happen if she left, I would've stopped her. I would've given her a lift home and refused to leave her side!"
Gaara honestly couldn't imagine how Naruto was feeling right at that moment. The guilt the blond was feeling looked like it was torturing him. "Sakura doesn't blame you for what happened, Naruto." he said quietly. "She told me about… what happened that night. The man who attacked her, he had been watching her for a while. He knew her name, where she lived, where Sasuke lived and how much he meant to her." Naruto's eyes widened as they snapped to his. "That's why Sakura didn't tell anyone, Naruto."
"Are… Are you saying that…?"
As much as it made him feel sick to his stomach, Gaara nodded once. "It he hadn't attacked her that night in the woods, it's likely that he would have attacked her the next time she was alone."
"Then I would have stayed by her side!"
"Don't you get it?" he snapped before he could stop himself. At Naruto's startled look, Gaara forced himself to calm down. "It's why she didn't report it in the first place. The man knew a lot about her and her friends. Sakura told me that she didn't want to risk any of you getting hurt." When it looked like the blond was about to argue, he silenced him with a glare. "You said so yourself that you know how loyal Sakura is, which means you know how protective she can be of those she cares for. If there was a chance that she could stop you all from being hurt, she would take it. If she had to remain silent about what happened to keep you all safe, she would do it."
Naruto shook his head. "I just wish she didn't have to." Then, to try and lighten the mood, he turned to Gaara and grinned. "Wanna go to the arcades? I could totally kick your ass on this new game they have!"
He very much doubted that. Gaara smirked. "I'd like to see you try."
The moment the sun began to rise, Sakura was out of bed and rushing around the room, looking for her clothes. She couldn't stay any longer. She couldn't. It was making her feel like she couldn't breathe, especially knowing what she had to do now. All night Sakura had been crying and because of that, she didn't get any sleep at all.
Running away. She was always running away.
It was stressing her out so much that she forgot she needed to be quiet and just as she had put her underwear back on and reached for her jeans, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Sasuke was now waking up. Damn it! Sakura looked around the room urgently as she jumped up and down, trying to pull her jeans over her hips. Where the hell was her shirt?
There! She all but ran over to it and once it was on, it seemed Sasuke had finally noticed something wasn't right.
"Sakura?" Sasuke frowned as he watched her quickly getting dressed. "What's the matter?"
It wasn't until she turned to face him that Sasuke realised she was crying. At the sight of her tears, his eyes widened and he shot out of bed, pulling on a pair of underwear as he did. However, just as Sasuke went to hold her, Sakura pushed him away, confusing him even further.
"No." she whispered, her eyes closing sadly. "I can't… you… Sasuke…"
She said his name with such a broken voice that Sasuke knew immediately what she was trying to tell him. He could feel his mind yelling at him to put his walls up, to push her away before she hurt him, but Sasuke refused to do so. No, he had already lost her once because of his damned walls. "Don't do this, Sakura." Sasuke told her softly, his voice nothing more than a murmur. "Don't leave me."
It was strange to have him asking her not to leave him, but Sakura didn't question it. Instead she covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her tears and weakness. "We can't be together, Sasuke. Last night… as much as I loved every second of it… it still shouldn't have happened." Because her eyes were closed, Sakura didn't see the look of pain and hurt that flitted across Sasuke's features.
"At least look at me." Sasuke's voice was now just as quiet as Sakura's, barely any louder than a whisper. "If you're going to break up with me, I at least want you to look at me."
Slowly, she lowered her hands from her face, her bloodshot eyes almost reluctant to look at him. When they locked gazes, more tears started to fall. "I never wanted to hurt you." Her body shook as she tried to hold back her sobs. "I… I love you but–"
"But you love him more."
"I'm sorry."
What happened next was something Sakura never expected. One moment, she was stood by herself, her body trembling and her tears falling uncontrollably and the next, Sasuke had pulled her into a hug. As he held her tightly against him, he took a deep breath before releasing it shakily. "Just… don't let him hurt you, Sakura." Sasuke told her quietly, his voice low in her ear. "And know that I'll always be here for you, even if it isn't the way I want it to be. No matter what, I'll always love you."
He loved her.
That was the first time Sasuke had ever told her.
She nodded quickly and wrapped her own arms around Sasuke. For a couple of moments, she cried pretty hard before getting a hold of herself and finally pulling away and when she did, Sakura had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying again. Sasuke was emotionless once again, but she could see the pain in his eyes.
After their breakup, if you could even call it that, Sakura silently walked out of Sasuke's room, her breathing coming quick.
She tried her best to ignore the loud crashes and bangs as well as angry shouts coming from Sasuke's room as he trashed it.
The ride home had been a blur, as had entering her home, locking the door and making her way up the stairs. She didn't know where her parents were right now, but considering that it was only around five in the morning, that didn't surprise her in the least. They were most likely still in bed. Sakura didn't even glance at anything in her bedroom, ignoring the vibrating of her phone on her bedside table, telling her that she had a message. She had set it so that it would remind her every couple of minutes that she had a message or notification. It had probably been going off all night but thankfully, it was on silent.
Ao was asleep on her bed, but the moment she stepped into her bedroom, he sat up quickly, seeming excited to see her until he took in her state and tilted his head to the side, concerned for his owner. It was wrong of her to do so, but she ignored him too. She just needed to be alone right now and as she closed the bathroom door behind her, it seemed Ao noticed that too as he lowered himself onto the bed once more, his eyes never leaving the bathroom door for a moment.
Sakura switched on her shower, barely even out of her clothes before she sat down underneath the spray of hot water, dragging her knees up to her chest as she sobbed. Her arms snaked their way around her legs, her fists clenching tightly before one hand swung up to her hair.
It was over between her and Sasuke. For good. Deep down, she had wanted to end whatever they were for a while now, but it still hurt. What if he wanted nothing to do with her? No, Sakura didn't believe that Sasuke continued being her friend so that she would sleep with him. She was just scared that he would be hurt and would want to avoid her.
She squeezed her eyes shut as the hand in her hair moved to cover her mouth until she shifted from her position, lowering her knees to the floor of her shower cubicle and wrapping one of her arms around her stomach as she leaned forward. The pain in her chest made her feel sick and no matter how hard Sakura tried, she couldn't stop shaking.
What was she supposed to tell Gaara, now? "I chose you, but I had sex with Sasuke one last time"? How the hell could she tell him that? It would hurt him! Sakura's sobbing increased. Why the hell had she gone and slept with Sasuke? Gaara… She loved him so much and she had betrayed him! If she told him what she had done, would he ever forgive her? Sakura's trembling increased. What if he hated her?
With unsteady hands, Sakura reached out for her sponge and soap, distractedly washing her body.
She couldn't face him. Not now, at least. Gaara would understand if she spent a couple of days alone, wouldn't he? Hopefully he would if she told him it was because she had chosen him, but needed to… to what? Mourn the end of her 'relationship' with Sasuke? It hadn't even been a relationship! But she had still loved him. She still did love him, but it was like Sasuke had said. She loved Gaara more.
Oh God… How could she tell Gaara that she had slept with Sasuke?
The sponge dropped from her hands as they both flew up into her hair and fisted it tightly.
She would never, never forgive herself for hurting Gaara.
A/N - So how do you all think Gaara is going to react to the news? Or do you think Sakura is going to keep it from him?
I'm not going to have a massive rant like the other day, but I do have one question for a certain guest review. If you 'lost interest' in this story quickly, then why are you still reading it?
The spider came back. Oh God. I nearly cried. I woke up and as I looked up at the ceiling, it was right above my head. I have never screamed so loud before. I hate spiders! It's safe to say, though, that two of my cats had fun when they spotted it.
I bet you were all shocked by Sasuke's reaction, right? I was going to have him throwing a bitch fit, but I thought that this would be better. Is it? Or would you have all rather had him sulking and throwing a tantrum?
Some of your reviews honestly had me smiling so brightly, my sister said that I look like a psychopath who was looking for their next victim. My mum kept asking me whenever my phone went off if I was feeling all right! Oh they are hilarious. Not.
Anyways. I made a beta profile, but I'm still not entirely sure on how it works. Sometimes I feel like an old woman when I'm using this site!
HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! :-)
