I was sure it was a dream. Things like this don't happen in real life.
No words were passed.
No matter how much I wanted to yell, to scream, to pull him into my arms and tell him to never fucking leave like that again, it didn't happen. He merely passed back into my life, without a word. It was a silent conversation, knowing that the words would come later.
Dry clothes were set out, a shower taken, and a pair returned to sleep in the bed they once shared.
When he crawled into the other side of my bed, I wanted to be bitter, to throw him out to sleep on the couch in my anger. I couldn't bring myself to do it.
He was here.
Why would I antagonize the one person I wanted to come home?
I was so temped to curl up to the warm form next to me—so close, yet so far away. So tempted to slip my arms around him and pull his back to my chest, nuzzling into his neck and falling into sleep, like we always did. Why did it feel inappropriate to curl up with the guy I used to call my lover?
Did this mean…
That in my mind…it really was over?
I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't. It didn't make sense. Cloud was home. Home. What the hell happened to my plans of kissing him senseless? Or even of punching his lights out? Or both, for that matter?
The night passed painfully slowly. All I could hear was the quiet sound of his breathing, tormented by the faint smell of his scent. My brain was going crazy. It didn't seem right to have such a desire towards him, since from the moment he walked into my place the fucker hardly looked me in the eye. My hand twitched, trying to control myself from reaching out to touch his face as it was softly illuminated by the faint rising sun.
He was still as beautiful as ever. Strong but delicate features, full lips, and brilliant eyes hidden behind closed lids. Cloud Strife—the one I lamented as the one that got away.
I wasn't sure when fatigue took me. It was a kind of restless, dreamless sleep. My mind knew something was out of place. When I woke, the other side of the bed was cold and empty. It was like having a waking nightmare—that first night, six months ago, was happening again. I shot up in bed, cursing loudly, a hand running through my hair.
How?
It was a dream.
My mind decided to torment me. Goddamn it. For a moment, I was hopeful again. Six months after he left me, a month after I stopped trying to reach him—now I had seen some idealized, TV drama ending. A chance for us to get back together. I'd lied to myself again.
Wandering from the bedroom, my heart leapt into my throat: he was there—standing by the window overlooking the street, eyes completive, yet strangely empty.
He was home.
He really was home.
I walked silently towards him, hesitating momentarily as I stood behind him. Every part of me cried out to hold him, but I couldn't make myself do it. He stood, silent before me, seemingly unaware of my presence. He had an air of uncertainty around him, almost as if he was asking himself why he had come.
I didn't want him to doubt it, because it was the one thing I'd been waiting for, all this time.
Cloud was home. Home with me.
I took a step closer, slipping my arms around his waist from behind. He stiffened slightly, and I thought my heart was going to break. He didn't want me. Everything I feared was true. All that time being an emotional fucking girl was for nothing. He came back to make sure I knew it was over.
I never expected him to relax into my arms, close his eyes, and breathe out a soft "Reno". I was so happy; I almost wanted to cry—yanno, if I was a girl or somethin'.
"Why?" The word rasped out, my lips moving to rest tentatively at his temple. Why had he appeared out of the blue? As much as I loved having him in my arms again, I didn't understand the reasoning. My response was met with a soft, innocent murmur.
"You stopped calling."
a/n: Wow, you guys. 200 reviews. That's kinda crazy. Thank you to all of you, especially those of you who have stuck with me all this time. I want to give a special little thank you to silenceinlight, who's been reviewing and consistently leaving me long, lovely and insightful reviews since Musings began, almost seven months ago. You're my angst buddy—and you have such an uncanny ability to understand all of my reasoning behind the characters. Thanky, thanky, thanky for all of your support, my dear.
As for the rest of you long time reviewers—I promise, I'm giving out all my thank yous in the last chapter! I love and appreciate all of you. You make my day a little brighter, and help inspire me to write more of this little project.
I'm sad to think about the story ending, but all good things come to an end eventually. I still want to write stories for you guys, so I'm wondering—what kind of fic would you request? Any particular pairing/fandom you like? I do enjoy quite a few, so please request! I'll take all into account. If you want to know specifically the pairings I commonly take stabs at writing, or the ones I don't really touch, check out my profile.
Hope to see you at the next chapter! Two more to go. :D
