Chapter Forty Nine
Masquerade
Space Station Gimmix, Outer Rim, 33 days after the execution of Contingency Order 66.
Ahsoka groaned as she opened her eyes, blinking blearily as the world slowly came into focus. She turned her head, her gaze drifiting to the chrono on her wristcom.
Ten hundred already? Force, how long have I been out?
A deep, gravely sound from behind her caused her to waken more fully, and she wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or pleased as she realized what she was sleeping 'in'. Her head and shoulders where resting against his arm, her legs stretched lazily across his lap, while Rex himself was slumped over towards her own head, emitting his 'cute' sounds of sleeping. I've really got to stop sleeping on top of him. That's horrible posture.
The pleasant feeling of reclining in Rex's arms suddenly evaporated however, as she remembered the discussion they had before falling asleep.
More specifically, the discussion they had not had.
She knew Rex was eager to hear what she had to say - so much so she sometimes wondered how ignorant he really was about it all. And she reallymeant to tell him. She just wanted to make sure things were in order, first. Her plan had been to get cleaned up, get everyone on the same page, and then have a bit of time to sort of sit back and relax. She wanted to talk with Rex, after all. She hadn't had much a chance to talk with him in a while, with all the running around and being almost hypnotized by her- by Darth Vader, and then the confrontation with Bane, the conversation with Britani that still had her scratching her head.
It felt like it had been a long time since she had been able to just talk with Rex.
The only trouble was that she wasn't sure she could 'just talk' to Rex. She had sort of walled herself in, by promising to say something that she wasn't sure how to say. For all Britani's encouragement, and for all her knowledge that Rex was anxious to hear her out, she really wasn't certain how she was going to broach the subject of... well, them. It was one thing to know that yes, it was time to tell him. It was another to know what she was going to tell him.
And it was another thing entirely to know how.
But she tried. She really did. When she had Rex come sit beside her, she really intended to just do it. Just say it. How hard could it be?
Pretty hard.
She really hadn't meant to skirt around it like she had. She needed to talk about her dealings with Bane. That was important too, in fact, maybe even more important. Rex would understand that; after all, not only were their own lives potentially hanging in the balance, but directly the lives of their two fellow fugitives, not too mention any others they might have opportunity to assist. It was vital that those issues were worked out, and that each knew their role in the process.
Then she could move on to what she really wanted to say.
Somehow it never worked out that way. She did talk about Bane, and her plans for apporaching him again. Rex had responded as she knew he would, with concern, worry, but in the end he said yes. He was no stranger fo sacrifice, anymore than Ahsoka herself was. He knew she had to do this, and that she needed him to be behind her even of he couldn't be at her side the whole time.
Unfortunately, once that was all said and done, Ahsoka didn't feel any more sure of herself than before. She didn't mean to get all emotional on him again, but she couldn't help herself. His earnestness, his care, the affection that was so evident in his expressive golden-brown eyes...
It was just too much. She needed to calm down. So she had leaned against him, thinking that maybe a little bit of cuddling would make it easier for her to just say it.
She hadn't counted on it making it so easy to fall asleep. Never mind that it was the best sleep she could recall having since... well, since the last time they slept next to each other.
Next thing she knew, she was here, groggy but awake, and the opportunity, at least for the moment, had passed. She almost moaned aloud as remorse set in.Why didn't I just tell him, when I had the guts to do it? That's just selfish of me to enjoy his company and still leave him hanging like that.
Ahsoka turned to look back at him. He seemed to be sound asleep, just like he was on the Sleight of Hand yesterday. I can't wake him up yet. He's got to be more tired than I was. There'll be time after he gets his rest. Yes, that would work. Once Rex was rested up, then there'd be time to talk to him.
In the meantime, it might be nice to move around a bit. It had been some time since she had worked out much, let alone sparred with anyone. Maybe Britani would like to try that, she mused. Then again, Derik would no doubt like to test his mettle against Ahsoka, as well. She smirked at the thought. That ought to knock his cockiness down a notch or two.
Well, at any rate, it made sense to get up now, since she was awake and not so tired. It wasn't that hard to extricate herself from Rex's embrace, since he was mostly supporting her weight, not restraining her. She slid her legs over his knees and carefully maneuvered herself off of his arm before standing up, flinching as her feet met the cold durasteel of the deck. Turning around, she stretched out with the Force to ease Rex's steady descent to a prone position across the bunk, taking a moment to lift his legs up onto the bed. There you go, Rexter. Can't have you getting a herniated disk on me. Not that I'd mind taking care of you, but I don't think I'd make a good doctor.
The thought caused her to sigh. Barriss would, though.
She pushed that from her mind and turned back towards the exit, pausing to pick up her boots and tuck them under her arm as she moved towards the shield. Her bare feet made scarcely a sound as she stepped up to the threshold, deactivated the barrier with a tap of her wristcom, and slipped out into the corridor.
"I told you, I'm not available, my plate's full as it is. You'll have to find someone on your level to run errands for you."
The irritatingly jovial voice on the other end of the comm refused to let up, oblivious to Bane's finger resting dangerously close to the hangup switch. "Now now, Cad my boy, no need to be so peevish," the speaker chuckled lazily. "You can't expect me to believe you have no interest in apprehending such am eminent Senator as Organa, can you? With an estate like his, this would be an exquisitely beneficial deal for both of us. The reward would be well worth the eff-"
"I take the jobs I want, and I don't want that one right now. I'm too busy for this."
"Really," the Weequay pirate drawled. "What sort of busy have you been up to, anyway?"
"That's none of your concern," Bane snapped.
"Rumors, you know," Hondo drawled on. "Rumors, rumors, they run rampant, you know? They say that you've been... seen with some fugitives, lately. Very very dangerous fugitives." There was an edge of suspicion in the pirate's tone as he questioned, "Ring any bells?"
Bane's voice hardened. "I round up fugitives all the time, scum. It's none of your business.
"Business? Business, of course!" Hondo exclaimed in his maddeningly cheerful accent. "We're all about business, aren't we? Let me see what we have here, mmm..." the Weequay hummed an annoying tune as he apparently examined some sort of records. "Hmm... yes, yes, yes, this is it." Another brief pause, with a muted slurping of some drink in the bakground.
"So," Hondo began again. "You wouldn't happen to have seen any Jedi around lately, would you?"
Bane forced back his alarm. "No," he snorted, with all the finality he could muster.
"Hmmm... shame, yes, it really is a shame." Hondo's voice fell, "I find that surprising, Cad my boy. Rumor has it-"
"Maybe you should quit sucking up rumors and find yourself decent employment," Bane growled. "I have to go."
Before Hondo could protest, Bane killed the link.
The Duros slumped back into the seat, glancing about his gloomy den with a tired gaze. Things were definitely not stacking up the way he'd planned.
Despite their beliefs to the contrary, Bane had taken special care to keep his distance from the Jedi, when outside observers were about. No one who had seen him alongside the Jedi had lived to tell the tale, he had made sure of that. The Hand itself was indistinguishable from the scores of Telgorn craft that were ubiquitous at the shadier spaceports. Even Aurra Sing only knew that Bane had traveled to Kessel for the purpose of roping Jedi stragglers; she couldn't know of his true activities. But once the rumor-mill of the underworld had begun its work, it was impossible to keep secrets.
The thought caused Bane to grimace, then scowl.
There were other secrets he was having trouble keeping.
He stood, picking up his well-worn hat and raising it over his head, then paused. Changing his mind, he tossed the piece of nerfhide leather onto his desk, and stalked away from his workstation, pacing his darkened office.
Bane was exhausted. He would never admit it, but it didn't really matter anymore. He'd never slept on a regular schedule in his life, definitely not a typical day and night cycle. As a reptilian species, Duros didn't need as much sleep as most humanoids, and Cad Bane needed even less. He got the little sleep he did in short spells, rarely losing complete consciousness and never sitting still for more than a standard hour.
Ever since that insolent Togruta brat had thoroughly unraveled him, he hadn't even gotten that.
He couldn't afford to. He had to stay conscious, to ward off the voices, thehands. He couldn't let his guard down for a moment. Until he finally banished them for good, he had to fight back.
Slowly Bane was realizing he might not be able to do that, this time.
It certainly wasn't helping that his own batch of Jedi couldn't seem to keep to themselves. Well, the Togruta, in particular. Of all the Jedi he could have stumbled across, why did it have to be the loudmouthed youngling? Worse yet, he had known it was Ahsoka Tano he was pursuing, and he'd sought her out intentionally. What had he been thinking?
Bane slammed a bony fist into the nearest wall, his narrowed eyes burning holes into some imaginary questioner. He knew what he'd been thinking. He'd been thinking strategically. Ahsoka Tano was brave. Clever, but naive. Brash and a bit foolhardy, but with a level-headed side as well.
She was also moral. Or ethical, whatever one wished to call it. Compassionate.
Cad Bane despised those traits, but found them useful in others. The last one especially. Compassion made one weak, predictable, inflexible. It was the crack in the most powerful Jedi's armor. Cad Bane had even brought the great Anakin Skywalker to his knees by drawing upon his compassion for his apprentice.
It should have worked this time too. Compassion should have been Tano's undoing. The clues were there, the trail of evidence had been clear. She should have been easy. She should have fallen for his trap.
It seemed Bane had managed to fall for it, instead.
He gritted his teeth in frustration. What now? How would he handle this? He had four Jedi in his premises now, and no certain way to retain their confidence. Bane didn't kid himself; this was a dangerous situation. Of course, most situations involving Cad Bane - or Jedi, for that matter - were dangerous, but that was beside the point.
There was of course the other Jedi pipper. Matalis, that was her name. The only thing he had to show for the costly Kessel fiasco. Hopefully by now she'd figured out how to employ his little gift, anyway. Despite himself, Bane was a little perplexed with the scrawny Jedi's disconnected bit of rambling. Was it a warning? A threat? What had she said, exactly?
Some wounds can only be healed, by being opened again.
Bane scowled at one of his deactivated consoles. Some Jedi platitude, no doubt. Not worth worrying over. Certainly nothing applicable to his situation.
Or... was it?
He stood still, fingering his chin.
Suddenly, he knew what he needed to do.
It was too late to make a course change, things were simply too far gone. But perhaps going with the flow could pay off. Perhaps the Jedi's misplaced pity could be channeled back into Bane's hands. Perhaps deception would win the day, after all.
Tano's apparent intent was fairly obvious. The arrogant twerp believed she could somehow settle his mind, that Jedi trickery could be undone by more of the same, albeit with different intents. She hoped to either ease her own guilt-complex, or ingratiate herself with Bane. Both, most likely.
And her new cohort's cryptic statement shed some light on Tano's means of providing 'assistance.' Clearly there had been some coordination there. The not-so-subtle hint was that these all-knowing magicians believed he was hiding something, not from them, but from himself. What Tano had hinted at it, and what Matalis was simply regurgitating, was that in order to be 'healed' from the after-effects of his incident, Bane would have to agree to granting the Jedi 'access' to the memories, voices, the hands that still refused to be locked away.
The mere concept of allowing this Jedi upstart to muddle with his head almost drew an audible snarl from Bane. There was no telling what Tano might do, if she were granted permission to muck with his mind. What if she intended to simply make things worse? What of she was planning to subvert his mental control as had her more senile counterparts?
An uneasy feeling settled over Bane at that thought. For all his cynicism - something Cad Bane had in plenty - and despite all evidence to the contrary - she had admitted to instigating this in the first place - he couldn't make himself believe that the Jedi called Ahsoka Tano would do that to him now.
It just wasn't like her.
It was a disturbing realization, and he pushed it away almost instantly.
Accepting, for the sake of argument, that Tano would or could not make things worse, and that she was... honest in her intentions, it stood to reason that she would hope her efforts would be rewarded, somehow. If she could not win over Cad Bane via redemption, then perhaps she would try placation.
It wouldn't be easy. It wasn't ideal, but it could work. Let Tano have her way for now, let her think she had accomplished something. Let her believe she had earned some sort of 'respect', or 'gratitude.' As long as he retained his own control. As long as he forced himself to realize it was all an act, that it really meant nothing, nothing at all.
He could play along, that way. He could let the Jedi satisfy her altruistic tendencies, and give her and her companions the assurance of having ingratiated themselves with him.
So long as, in the end, it meant nothing. So long as he reminded himself that it didn't really matter. Because it didn't.
The commlink over his wrist chirruped. He glanced at the call ID. Sure enough, it was her. And she was at the main conduit entrance. Impeccable timing, if ever there was such a thing.
Bane took a deep breath, his eyes narrowed at the blinking indicator over his forearm. He turned, retrieving his hat and settling it over his head. His fists clenched, his arms hanging loose at his sides as he made his way towards the entrance.
I sure hope I know what I'm doing.
Ahsoka stood in front of access hatch that Bane had disappeared into the day before. She'd finally done it, finally paged Bane's channel to let him know she was here. Of course she had no idea if he'd respond, but her move had been made.
She just hoped it was the right one.
She had left the room only to realize she really wasn't sure what she was planning to do. Her loose ideas of maybe sparring or exercising were ruled out considering she didn't have a partner, nor any open space to perform any of those activities. She didn't feel like going for a walk through the station, but she wanted to do something useful. Maybe she could be going over information, looking for more Jedi or other Imperial refugees. Surely there was something she could do.
It was then she realized that there was indeed something she could do.
It was a bitter touch of irony at how quickly she was able to act upon her decision to confront Bane again, considering her awkwardness when she tried to talk to Rex last night. Especially because what she wanted to say to Bane was arguably much more awkward than what she wanted to tell Rex. Not to mention talking to Rex was so much more pleasant than with a sleamo bounty hunter.
Then again, as unpredictable as Cad Bane could be, dealing with criminals was something Ahsoka had been doing for some time. It's the whole, I-love-you-do-you-love-me thing I'm a bit iffy on.
Maybe more than a bit.
At any rate, here she was, at the door that apparently led to Bane's lair. She had the presence of mind to slip on her boots as she waited, after which she simply crossed her arms and paced in front of the door. At one point she half-considered going for her lightsaber, but dismissed that idea without much thought.
The seconds dragged into minutes, and those dragged on into... well, more minutes. In an effort to quell her impatience, Ahsoka leaned against the wall opposite the door, closing her eyes and trying to relax. While she hadn't planned on meditating, Britani's admonition came to her mind as she waited, and Ahsoka decided to risk it for now.
She slid to the deck, landing cross-legged and resting her hands on her knees, palms opened towards her head. Her eyes still closed, she tried to center herself, focusing on the simple rhythm of her own breathing to clear her mind.Breathe in. Breathe out.
She reached out with the Force as she did so, almost immediately feeling the solid, sleeping aura of Rex back in the room. She almost giggled at the sensation, losing her concentration in the process. Bad idea. Breathing in...
Reminding herself to stay calm, Ahsoka continued stretching out her consciousness, sensing the handful of lifeforms aboard the space station. Derik was sleeping, Britani was awake but seemed distant, perhaps meditating herself. And Bane...
She almost lost her concentration again.
He was coming.
Breathe in. Breathe out. She held her focus. Bane wasn't there yet, and wouldn't be for a few minutes at least. Apparently he was somewhere in the central spire of the station, and had a ways to traverse before he reached Ahsoka's location. Recalling Britani's advice, Ahsoka remained still, focusing not on Bane or the other presences in the station, but on the ebb and flow of the Force itself, something she had not been able to bring herself to do since the trip to Ryloth.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Despite her misgivings, it came to her easier than might have been expected. Part of her recognized she had in fact missed the familiar, reassuring sensation of being immersed in the Force, of expelling her worries and fears and letting them drift away. A sense of serenity and calm settled over Ahsoka, and her awareness expanded.
It still wasn't easy. It was cold, dark, empty. The disturbances of pain and despair still reverberated, though the ripples were muted and dispersed now. The vibrancy and energy that she had taken for granted all her life was gone, along with her friends, her home, her way of life. But the Force was there, and it was strong, and it flowed with a gentle pulse even now, like the heartbeat of an unborn child.
Time switched into low gear as she awaited her host. What couldn't have been more than a few minutes was magnified into what seemed to be hours, during which Ahsoka was not only aware of the happenings within the space station, she also felt strangely invigorated, like she'd been given a long, greedy drink after being dehydrated for too long.
Not just invigorated mentally or emotionally, either. There was a sense of clearness building, nothing really tangible or certain, but a subtle element of... assurance? Approval? She wasn't sure how to describe it, only that she felt more confident than ever, that what she was doing - whatever it was - was the right thing to do.
A sudden hiss sent her focus sky high, leaving Ahsoka startled and disoriented for a moment. Two thuds reverberated through the durasteel plating as boots met the deck. Her eyes flew open wide, her head already raised to meet his cold gaze.
"This had better be good."
Normally at this point Ahsoka's heart would be racing, and her mouth would to running off a few pointed remarks. But this time was different. She felt... calm. At peace. Confident, but not in her normal... well, impulsive way.
She quickly stood, wiping her hands on her thighs as she did so. She took one step towards Bane, not enough to be confrontational, nor so far as to appear intimidated. Her arms were loose at her sides, her chin lifted only the minimum necessary to meet Bane's eyes. She answered his veiled threat with a calm tone. "I'm afraid that depends upon you."
Bane stared hard at her for a moment, as though willing Ahsoka to break eye contact. "Well?" he challenged, after a moment. "What do you want?"
Ahsoka answered just as calmly as before. "I think that depends on what you want."
"What if I want to be left alone?"
Bane's voice was cold, but there was a sense of resignation beneath his hardened mannerisms. It was like he expected to lose this round of banter. Ahsoka knew that the bounty hunter had to know why she was here, and this apparent breach in his demeanor was a healthy sign. If there is such a thing.
Her eyebrows arched, and she answered with a quiet challenge of her own.
"I don't think you do."
Again they stared each other down for a moment. Ahsoka kept her face solemn, serious, not breaking eye contact for even a moment. Bane's own expression was a bitter scowl, his red eyes narrowed beneath the rim of his hat. His fists were clenched, and his teeth were grinding together as he glared.
"Fine," he muttered finally, making a curt hand motion towards the door. "This way."
Within two steps Bane vanished into the conduit, his spacer's coat trailing behind him. Ahsoka took a deep breath, and followed. As she stepped over the threshold into the darkness, the door slid shut behind her with a resonating clang.
The moment he awoke, Rex knew she had left.
It wasn't particularly hard to infer. Last thing he remembered, Ahsoka was nestled in his arms, sleeping about as peacefully as either of them every did, with a soft smile on her face. And of course, it was rather hard not to remember the warm, comforting weight of her body in his arms, now replaced with an emptiness that was even deeper than the lack of her form.
Quit getting all sentimental, Rex's inner soldier rebuked himself. He rolled over, noting with some confusion that he was laying prone over the lone bunk in their room. The shield was deactivated, and Ahsoka was nowhere in sight. She climbed out of my arms, laid me down, open the shield and left, and I slept through it all? Of course, he had been exhausted, for sure, but in Rex's mind, he was clearly losing his edge if that amount of activity had gone around him without awaking him.
He was also a little bit... disappointed, apparently. It felt like so long since they had last had any time alone together, without all the chaos and life-threatening foes on every side to interrupt their conversations. It seemed like, other than their lack of sleep, they had the perfect opportunity to discuss whatever Ahsoka had intended to share. And now... not that Rex felt entitled to anything, but he had sort of hoped that, after they'd both slept...
Snap out of it, soldier! You know you both have more important things to do right now. Kriff, of all the things I could possibly get hung up on, this has to be the silliest of them all.
Rex tried to ignore the part of himself that told him it wasn't silly at all.
He expelled a heavy sigh, before sitting up. There was no sense worrying over all that now. He had to find where Ahsoka had gone. Probably just taking a stroll, or maybe meditating. A glance at his wristcom caused Rex to gasp. Eleven eleven? We were supposed to meet back at the galley ten minutes ago!
Frowning at the thought of having been left out of the loop, Rex jumped to his feet, rubbing his eyes to rid the last vestiges of sleepiness from his face. He was still fully dressed and armored from the waist down, having not taken time to even remove his boots. The remainder of his kit was stacked in the corner of the room, along with some of the spare clothing the bounty hunter had dropped off. I guess his droid can't run errands for him anymore.
Pushing the thoughts of droids and clothes from his mind, Rex reached to grab his rifle, clipping the weapon to his belt before breaking into a run out of the room, and up the corridor.
Author's Note: Okay... round three for Ahsoka vs Bane.
And poor Rexter is getting left out, isn't he? Poor guy. Hopefully it's a little more clear to you, dear reader, what Ahsoka is intending on telling Rex - it's not meant to be a secret, just a special moment between them... if it ever actually happens. :P
(Okay, you know me... it probably will. Probably.)
Thanks to all my reviewers! witchcoven, MasterVash, laloga, DoubleEO, StarWarsRocksMySocks, Queen, Etain-Skirata, shakespeareaddict, Jess Marylin, Hoenn Master, Starcrier, shadow-dog18, Sarge1995 and GraceForever. Thanks so much guys!
Next chapter might get pushed to Friday next week. Trust me, if I can have it ready by Monday, it'll be up, but it's a key chapter, and I want to get it right. On that note, I may be a bit behind on reviews of other fics I'm following for the same reason. Please bear with me.
And please review!
