After nearly two and a half years of absence I started to read the story again and I decided that I really really have to bring it to an end. I don't know if anybody is still reading this story or is even interested in it but I'll continue anyway.

In these past two years a lot has changed in my life. I am a mother of a nearly 2 year old son and I hope that this experience will make me a better writer concerning the pregnancy stuff. :-)


"You are right." Meredith suddenly felt like an idiot. How could she just have assumed that Lexie had no life experience? "I am so sorry and to be honest, I don't know what to say." She looked down at her tray. The energy she had felt some hours ago had vanished and she felt more exhausted than she ever had. If that even was possible.

The sudden change in Meredith's behavior didn't go unnoticed by Lexie. She knew exactly what her half-sister was going through and despite all the harsh words that she had had to deal with so far she still wanted to get to know Meredith. "Don't worry. You couldn't have possibly known. We never got a chance to talk and we clearly got off on the wrong foot."
Meredith gave Lexie a faint smile and started to eat her noodle soup. Her stomach was growling and lovingly she ran her hand over her belly, not minding that Lexie was watching her. All the drama had to come to an end. There was no way she could deal with all the exhaustion any longer. All her life she had been trying to avoid feelings. She was the perfect robot but her walls came tumbling down. And brick by brick, stone by stone her human and vulnerable side started to show. Meredith felt as if a big big weight was lifted off her chest. Her past as an ever working and functioning robot was over. Was she scared? Of course. Was she happy? Of course.

"Are you married?"

Lexie looked up from her lunch. "Do you mean me?"

Meredith just nodded, curious on what the answer would be.

"No, but I am in a relationship. We have thought about marrying but I guess there was never the right moment to really go through with it. I don't even know if I wanna get married..." Lexie stopped in mid sentence. She blushed and quickly added. "Typical me. Rambling on and on."

Meredith smiled. "I wouldn't have asked if I wouldn't have wanted to know."

They fell silent again but they both felt like there was something new in the air. Maybe having a half-sister was not that bad after all.

"There you are!" Addison came running towards them, nearly knocking a lunch tray out of a nurse's hands. "I've been looking all over for you." She came to an abrupt halt next to Meredith, who was just finishing her lunch. "Do you have a minute?" Without awaiting an answer she pulled Meredith to her feet.
"Sorry, Lexie! We'll talk again." Meredith managed to shout to Lexie. "What's going on, Addi?

"Derek. He's very critical." Addison didn't slow down and Meredith had to try hard to keep up with her.

What was happening? Some hours ago everything was stable. Puzzled and scared she finally stood in front of the ICU. The known hospital routine kicked in and they both quickly changed into aseptic scrubs. Meredith was still shaking but had no time to ask any more questions. They both stepped into Derek's room and at his sight Meredith choked up. He was hooked to so many machines that it was hard to even recognize him. Addison was watching her and took one of her hands into hers. Meredith squeezed it hard and then stepped towards the bed. Two doctors were standing right next to Derek, watching the two women enter the room.

"Hello Dr. Grey, Dr. Montgomery. Thanks for coming on such short notice." They looked very concerned.

"What's happening?" Meredith asked with fear in her voice.

"Dr. Shepherd's state is very critical. Despite being in an artificial coma, his body seems to have troubles dealing with all the injuries. His heart rate has been slowing down over the last two hours and we are not sure if he'll make it." The doctor paused and looked at the monitor right next to him. "As you can see, his oxygen saturation is way beneath the limit too."

Meredith gulped. All their differences seemed so stupid and immature compared to the drama that was unfolding in front of them. "Why...why did you call for us?"

"He has listed you as his emergency person. Didn't you know?"

"No." She stepped right next to Derek and reached for his hand. Addison remained where she was and the two doctors left the room. "We'll give you some privacy."

Meredith stared down at Derek. No, that was not what she had wished for. "Did I do that?" With fear in her eyes she looked at Addison.

"Do what?" Addison rushed to her side.

"This...everything." She pointed at the machines.

"Oh sweetie. How on earth can you think about this?" Shocked Addison pulled her close. She felt Meredith's trembling body.

"Because...I...wished that he was no longer in our lives." She pulled back from Addison and reached for Derek's hand again.

"No, you are not. How can you think like that? You don't even know what has happened!" Addison slowly put her arm around Meredith's waist. They both stood there in silence for what seemed an eternity. From time to time Meredith's gaze wandered to the monitors above her head, hoping and praying that the numbers would increase. They didn't.

"I have to go to the bathroom but I'll be back in no time." Addison whispered.

"Okay."

Meredith was alone. She thought about her short conversation with Lexie, how good she actually had felt. But, despite all efforts drama always seemed to find her. She sighed and stepped closer to the bed. Derek's left hand was the only part of his body that was not hooked to a machine. She looked at it for a while. Then she suddenly pulled up her scrubs, exposing her small baby belly. She took Derek's hand and slowly laid it on her stomach. It felt strange but right. Maybe he could sense that there was someone he had to fight for. She smiled looking down at her exposed belly.

Addison was watching the scene unfold in front of her from outside the room. Smiling she looked at Meredith. She was radiating such peace and confidence and Addison's heart was full of love and admiration for this woman. She didn't mind that Derek "touched" her, on the contrary, she could totally understand Meredith's actions. Trying to make no sound at all she re-entered the room.

"I'm back." Addison approached her girlfriend from behind and wrapped her arms around Meredith's waist, her hands resting on each side of her stomach.

"I thought it might help." Meredith whispered apologetically.

"Good idea." Addison buried her face in Meredith's hair.

They both left the ICU three hours later. Derek's over all state had improved slightly but he was still very critical. Over the next few days Meredith and Addison came to visit him every day and every day they hoped that the doctors would have better news than the day before.

-

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Meredith, happy birthday to you!" Carrying a big birthday cake, Addison slowly entered their bedroom. Meredith slowly opened her eyes, pulling herself up in a sitting position.

"Is it already the 10th?" Groggy she watched Addison setting the cake down at her nightstand.

"Make a wish, sweetie!"

"First I need a birthday kiss and THEN I can make a wish." Meredith pouted, grinning mischievously.

"You'll get 38 kisses. One for each year." Without any warning Addison threw herself next to her and showered her with kisses."

"Stop it, stop it!" Meredith laughed and tried to escape Addison's strong hug.

"No way you are leaving this bed with less than 38 kisses. 21, 22..." Meredith stopped resisting and watched her work her way down to her belly.

"Hello, you, in there. Here are some special kisses for you too. 29, 30, 31,..." Addison stopped and looked into Meredith's eyes. "You are really starting to show."

"Are you crazy, woman? One moment you tell me how much you love me and the next you are telling me how fat I'm getting? Thanks a lot." She tried to keep a straight face but Addison's expression of guilt was too funny to continue the game.

"You...you..." Addison pinned Mer's arms down above her head and positioned herself on her upper legs. "1, 2, 3,..." She started kissing again but this time in all the spots that tickled the most. "That's for trying to fool me."

Meredith couldn't stop laughing and after nearly choking of not getting enough air Addison let go of her. "Now you have to make a wish!"

Meredith turned to her cake to blow out the candles. "They are all burned down. But I'll make a wish anyway."

She closed her eyes and thought very hard. "Got one!" She smiled. "Now, where's my present?"