CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Ivan the Not-So-Terrible
AN: I'm so enjoying everyone's messages and reviews, everyone has such great insight. I also love how some are rooting for Sev and some are saying Sasha should make him squirm. You are so awesome Tonks might be giving her some of your advice. Of course Sasha may thumb her nose at Tonk's advice, but it might be fun. Love to hear from you!
Severus opened his eyes to find the sun coming up. He blinked and for a moment didn't realize where he was until he saw his lovely Sasha lying there in his arms and he didn't want to go. However he knew he must. He hugged her tightly one more time. I little moan of contentment escaped her and she snuggled closer to his chest. He admired her eyelashes splayed prettily about closed eyes like a china doll. Her lips were turned up slightly in a peaceful smile. Oh to wake up to this every morning. Ever the realist, he knew they had to leave quickly and when he spoke his voice was urgent. "Sasha, wake up my dear we fell asleep. What time is it?"
"Hmmm? Oh." She was a bit disoriented as he quickly extracted himself from her grasp and suddenly she was cold. "From the height of the sun, I'm guessing about six. Whoops." She giggled. "We must have had too much wine."
"We have to go before someone sees us." He said quickly.
"Not likely." She rubbed her eyes sleepily. It's six am on a Saturday. Lay back down."
"No. We have to be at breakfast and you have quidditch." He was starting to panic.
"Not till later. Settle down." She reached for his hand.
"Sasha, you might take this lightly, but I don't. I have to think of my position not to mention the war. Damnit, you're such a distraction." He was using his wand to pack up the table and dishes from the night before.
She sighed, looked down and played with her bracelet. Severus observed her and felt the pangs of guilt. This was always were he ruined everything. Not today. "I'm sorry Sasha, I wanted everything to be perfect for you. I had a wonderful evening and I hope you did too but we can't lose sight of other things. There is so much at stake."
"No, it's alright." She looked at him with a half smile. "We both should have been more responsible. It's just when you and I are together, when it's just you and me, and the stars are out and we're sharing wine and you've given me the most perfect present, well I guess I was quite swept off my feet."
She warmed his heart; it was exactly what he wanted to hear. "I don't know that I've ever swept anyone off their feet."
"You do it every day." She stood up and straightened her robes. "You just don't know it." She stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his cheek. "Better shave before breakfast, bit stubbly." She said moving her hand across his rough cheek. "See you at breakfast."
As he evaluated the evening he wasn't sure if it was a success. Things hadn't gone exactly to plan as he still hadn't seduced her but somehow last night, seduction seemed inappropriate. He had some work to do to earn his way back into her good graces. She certainly left happy, she liked the bracelet, she'd slept in his arms, which was heavenly. However an odd fear was nagging him that he was losing control, and this was not something he had ever been comfortable with. He had not planned on sleeping all night up her with her. Even if he had "tapped it" as the boys in his house were fond of saying, his careful plan was to retreat quickly thereafter. She had such a relaxing affect on him. Drifting off to sleep with her head on his chest and her hair grazing his cheek was like nothing he had ever experienced. She wasn't gone two minutes when he began to scheme about how to have another evening with her. He would not fail this time.
Severus put both hands on the wall of the shower and lowered his head so the hot water could hit the back of his neck directly. His neck was stiff after sleeping on the tower, as were other things. He stayed in the hot shower much longer than usual in order to get warm. He was chilled to the bone. He shaved and thought about the feel of her hand on his cheek. It was such an intimate gesture. Familiarity between them was growing slowly but constantly and he wanted more of it. Now he knew her given name. He also understood why she didn't like it. The story behind it exemplified her family's lack of regard for her compared with Lucius. Severus and his mother had been disowned by her family and abused by his father and so he felt a kinship with her feelings and an overwhelming desire to fix it for her.
At breakfast he sat in the great hall sipping Earl Grey tea and not eating, eyes fixed on the door. Finally she entered, or rather made an entrance. She was dressed in her old Gryffindor quidditch robes that still fit her to perfection in all the right places. Pushed up on her head were an old pair of men's quidditch goggles and her untamed blonde hair trailed behind her as she walked with long strides into the room. She stopped to greet her team and give Weasley a pep talk who looked like he needed it desperately. She looked just like she did in school and Severus thought what a stupid schoolboy he must have been never realizing how wonderful she was when they were younger.
She sat down beside him with a naughty grin just as Flitwich joined them putting an immediate damper on conversation. "Good Morning Gentlemen." Sasha enjoyed her coffee and a croissant as she listened to Flitwich prattle on and Severus making appropriate but short responses while occasionally making knowing eye contact with Sasha. She smiled at him slyly, which was extremely arousing, like they were doing something very naughty. When Flitwich was distracted talking to another professor passing by their table she leaned over and whispered. "I hope you haven't been telling everyone you slept with me. I don't want people to think I'm easy." He turned and raised one eyebrow as she grinned at him wickedly. Merlin, she is dangerous.
He knew he had momentum on his side and was going to use it to his advantage. He locked eyes with her. "What are you doing after quidditch today?"
"Whatever you want to." She purred and never broke eye contact.
His breathing quickened, as he remained lost in her eyes. Was she doing this to torture him? "Let's go to Hogsmeade. We can check out some new selections in the book store and then we can stop by The Three Broomsticks for a few butterbeers."
"Ugh, never touch the stuff." She looked back to her breakfast and appeared to be disappointed in his suggestion. However he seized the moment to learn something else about her.
"You don't drink butterbeer?"
"Never again." Her answer was firm.
Here was an opportunity to even up with Karkaroff. "Sounds like there's a story behind that."
"Oh, you'll have to get me very intoxicated before I tell you." Her tone was outrageously flirtatious for eight o'clock in the morning.
"Really?" He looked deeply into her eyes once again. "How shall I intoxicate you?"
She exhaled with a nervous laugh. "You just did." She took a sip of her coffee and continued to gaze adoringly at him. "If you must know, Lucius had a seventeenth birthday party that was not sanctioned by the family. A bunch of his Slytherin friends took a road trip to Drumstrang. I begged him to go but he didn't want me to. Little sister might cramp his style you know. I kept begging and pleading and finally Regs promised he would be responsible for me and keep me out of the way if need be. Honestly I was surprised he let Regs go, he was only 13. He was always mature for his age though."
"I remember when they did that. You know everyone in our year was envious that you and Regulus got to go."
"Well that was the idea." She laughed while pouring herself another cup of coffee. "Anyway it's me and all these Slytherin and Drumstrang guys and everyone is completely trashed. It was starting to get ugly. Not good. I was trying to be cool and so I drank all this butterbeer. I didn't even like it. Then Igor starts putting the moves on me as only Igor could."
"I don't think I want to hear any more." He set his empty cup down and she immediately refilled it.
"Oh no, you wanted to know. Anyway, they were playing these drinking games and of course they are all picking on me since I'm the only girl. Regs passed out, so much for him taking care of me. With Regs incapacitated and Lucius too drunk to care, I fell into the clutches of our friend Mr. Karkaroff."
He cut her off. "I'm done with this story Sasha."
"No, it gets better! So we go outside and he is turning on the charm big time. He's all hands and telling me how beautiful I am."
"I said, that's enough." He was gritting his teeth.
"And just as he's moving in to kiss me I vomited on his boots."
A conceited smile crossed his lips and he closed his eyes. "Classy."
"Wasn't it? The last thing I remember was Lucius singing "She's a Lady" as Karkaroff hauled me out of there. I puked my guts out and he was particularly annoyed with me but to his credit he took care of me. He was very sweet. He gave me a draught, put me in his bed and slept on the couch. Despite what you think about him, he was a nice guy. Anyway I haven't touched butterbeer since."
"And it's been how long?"
"I don't' know, twenty years? The smell still makes me nauseous."
"Alright then. I'll take you out for anything but butterbeer."
"Deal."
"I'll pick you up at 2 o'clock."
Severus arrived at the match just as it was starting. He watched her pacing the sidelines and barking orders at the Gryffindor players. The wind blew fiercely through her flaxen hair and her robes whipped behind her. He studied the way she expressed herself so passionately. She was so unlike him in her expression, but so much like him in feeling. Though most people were unaware, his emotions were every bit as passionate as hers. He however chose never to wear them on his sleeve as she did. They remained always raging just below the surface. He knew with her manner of expression that if he was ever able to sleep with her it would be incredibly passionate and the tought of it aroused him for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last 24 hours. Things had gone well the night before and he was filled with excitement as he planned their afternoon that would presumably lead to an evening, and hopefully into bed. He watched her congratulate her winning team. She looked jubilant. He returned to his quarters to prepare for a blissful afternoon with the only person he wanted to be with.
Sasha returned to her quarters after quidditch and drew a hot bath. She chose her outfit as the water ran. Her new favorite faded jeans that used to belong to Sirius, a chocolate brown turtleneck that hugged her curves and suede high heel boots that matched her sweater. As she soaked in the tub she admired her bracelet. She was afraid of wondering what had gotten into Severus this week but was thrilled by it. Sadly she wondered when it would end because it always ended. She dressed, and dried her hair, quickly applied make up and then waited. At five minutes after two, she went to her closet to choose a shear skin coat to wear so she would be ready when he arrived. At ten after two she put one more dab of perfume on her wrists and watched the leaves falling outside her window. At quarter after two she started to wonder what was keeping him and tied her hair up with a ribbon because he once said he liked looking at her neck. At two-thirty, she removed her boots and poured herself a firewhiseky. At three she finished her second fire whiskey and decided to take a nap.
Just as her head hit the pillow, there was a knock at the door. "Just a minute!" She whipped her boots back on and stopped by the mirror to smooth her hair before she greeted him. She flung open the door with a smile to find Tonks in the hallway.
"Ugh. Tonks"
"Well that's a nice greeting. What's got your wand in a knot? No wait let me guess, Snape. What did he do now? Didn't your date go well last night?" Tonks walked into the room without an invitation.
"It was perfect. He was so wonderful, planning this beautiful dinner with all my favorites and then he gave me this bracelet." She held out her arm to show Tonks.
"Nice. Not as extravagant as some people we know, but very thoughtful. One point for Snape."
"We talked and looked at the stars and I slept all night in his arms. Oh Tonks it was perfection." Sasha shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes.
"You stayed up there all night?" Tonk's face was wild with excitement.
"Yes." Sasha shook her head excitedly.
"Tell, tell! Are the rumors true? I'm dying to know. Tell me everything."
"Tonks really! It wasn't like that, nothing happened."
"Wait a minute, you stayed up there all night and nothing happened?"
"No. He's far too chivalrous to try anything."
"Not even a kiss?" She snarled.
"No." Sasha was starting to lose the good feeling she had about the evening.
Tonks threw her hands in the air. "What a wanker!"
"Shut up! Don't be so childish. He is not."
"Is so!" She made a face at Sasha who looked offended.
"He's a gentleman!"
"He's a wanker! Are you sure he's straight? You know he's never had a girlfriend and that would explain why you've never gotten together."
"I assure you, he is heterosexual." She replied with distain.
"Yeah but nothing? All night, snuggled up and all you did was sleep? Are you sure you're heterosexual?" She raised her eyebrows and giggled.
"Are you trying to be amusing?"
"Oh relax, I'm just kidding."
"I just don't know what to do when I'm with him. I'm always walking on eggshells. What do you think I should do?"
"I think he won't feel like a man if he's not the one to make the first move."
"That's so old fashioned. I could get old waiting for that to happen."
"Perhaps it's escaped your notice, but you already have. You have to remember Snape is a little old fashioned. Maybe you can just coax him along a bit. You know, tease him a little. He's wound so tight it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge you know. Torture him a little bit."
"You are evil Nymphadora Tonks." Sasha walked over to the cabinet and poured herself a third drink.
"Yes, but skillful and you need me."
"Well that sounds like great fun but I'm already back to square one. He was supposed to be here an hour ago to take me to Hogsmeade and once again, I'm stood up."
"Wanker!"
"Tonks, just stop. I'm not in the mood for this at all." Sasha began to sniff a bit as she looked at the clock and saw three-fifteen. How could he do this to her again?
"Alright, let's get you out of here. We can't have you sitting around watching the clock and waiting for him all day. You'll drink yourself stupid."
Sasha stopped in mid swig. "What exactly are you insinuating?"
"Nothing, relax." She shrugged. "Bloody hell if I was in love with Snape I'd drink too." Sasha glared at her. "Sash, relax, lets have a girls day. We'll go to Hogsmeade and get a pedicure from that new goblin spa, my treat. We'll have a little retail therapy and then The Three Broomsticks for dinner again my treat."
"Tonks I was up early, I really don't feel like it. I'm just so tired."
"Then we'll get you a coffee. Come on. I'm not taking no for an answer."
Although Sasha didn't want to go, by the time Tonks dragged her into town, she was already feeling better. As the goblins at the spa did their pedicures, Tonks talked about all her problems with Remus. It was good for Sasha to get a dose of schadenfreude and it was starting to work. Poor Tonks was desperately in love with a man who thought himself unworthy of love. She knew the feeling well. Although they had entered into the evening with the motive of taking Sasha's mind off her problems, Tonks needed to take her mind of things just as badly. With their toes done and their sprits lifted, they entered The Three Broomsticks to have dinner. Both looked around apprehensively for Severus or Remus. Neither was anywhere to be found and they looked at each other and laughed. Sasha led Tonks over to her favorite booth that had a prime view of the entire house. It was where she would hold court as a popular young girl.
As they finished their first glass of wine before ordering dinner Sasha was just starting to relax when Tonks jolted her. "Merlin's Beard!"
"What is it?" Sasha grabbed her hand.
"Who is that knight in shining armor?" She nodded towards the door. "Merlin he's good looking, why have we never noticed him?"
"Who are you talking about?" Sasha turned to the door and then quickly turned back around covering her face with one hand. "Oh no, it's Ivan."
"That's Ivan!" Tonks laughed and grabbed Sasha's other hand giggling conspiratorially like a teenager. "He's bloody gorgeous. Why are you worried about Snape?"
Sasha didn't know why but she was starting to panic. "We have to get out of here before he sees me. Oh no!"
"Too late. He's coming over." She squeezed Sasha's hand while grinning.
"Shit."
"Hello Detka." He kissed Sasha possessively on the cheek and then pulled up a chair before he was invited. He looked at her like he could see right through her robes.
"Hi Ivan. This is a pleasant surprise." Sasha could feel a hot blush creeping into her cheeks while she was under his gaze. "Uhm, this is my cousin, Nymphadora Tonks."
Igor kissed her hand as she stifled a giggle. "Call me Tonks. Sasha's told me so much about you."
"She has?" It was his turn to be surprised as he surveyed Sasha to see if this was true.
Sasha felt miserably uncomfortable through the first course. She was deathly afraid of Severus arriving, seeing them together and pulling away from her again. Why did he have to turn up tonight? As their main course arrived, duck, which Ivan suggested and which was delicious, she began to relax. He was so attentive to her, keeping her wine glass full and asking questions of Sasha and Tonks too. He was obviously concerned that the evening be enjoyable for both of them. It was such a different feeling than the constant state of anxiety she had with Severus, always staying on safe subjects, never pressing, constantly apologizing. Ivan was, easy to be with. She also thought it charming that he didn't make Tonks feel like a third wheel as some men would in this situation.
They felt a breeze as the door opened and looked over to see Remus walk in. He looked over the crowd and spotted the three of them but then looked down and headed to the bar. "Remus!" Sasha waves him over. He nodded to her, and went to the bar to order his drink. Then slouching with one hand in his pocket, he approached their table.
"Hello, Sasha, Dora.. I didn't know you two were coming here tonight." He eyed Ivan suspiciously who was unphased and extended his hand to introduce himself. "Ivan Karkaroff."
"Ivan is Sasha's boyfriend." Tonks desperately explained. Sasha gaped at her.
Ivan's lips curled into a conceited smile as he leaned closer to Sasha and slid his arm around her shoulders. Sasha was horrified and narrowed her eyes at Tonks but she wasn't looking at her. She was looking deep into the eyes of Remus Lupin who breathed an obvious sigh of relief. He was so obviously in love with her it was painful to watch.
"Why don't you join us Remus?" Sasha suggested.
"I don't want to intrude." He said looking at his feet.
"You're not intruding. Sit." Ivan's robust invitation would be difficult for anyone to refuse. "I want to get to know all of Sasha's friends." He smiled at her and slid into the booth to be closer to her.
Remus studied them and Sasha could tell he wasn't impressed with Ivan so far. "Where is Severus Sasha?" He asked pointedly presumably to annoy Ivan. "I thought the two of you had plans today."
"The rat stood her up." Tonks always had to get her two cents in which aggravated Sasha.
"Tonks!" Sasha leaned back in her chair rolling her eyes. Why did she have to blab everything?
"Stood you up?" The shock in Ivan's voice was obvious. "HE stood YOU up?"
"I'm sure he has a good reason. He's very busy." Sasha defended him as always.
"There is no possible reason that would be a good reason." Ivan looked sincerely at her and his remarks were blunt as always. "It is however more reason he's not good enough for you." The waiter brought dessert and Sasha was never so grateful for an interruption. As she looked over the table at Remus, he raised his eyebrows and scowled at her disapprovingly. She could almost hear Sirius speaking through him and was exasperated just thinking about it. When dinner concluded, Ivan insisted on picking up the check, which seemed to annoy Remus even further. Tonks took his hand and they left the restaurant together. Well at least the evening worked out for someone, Sasha thought.
"I've been dying to ask all night." Ivan said as soon as they were alone. "What's this?" He ran his finger under the bracelet Severus gave her.
"Oh, birthday present." This wasn't going to go well, she knew it already.
"From who?" He asked quickly revealing his annoyance.
"Severus."
He snorted and looked disgusted. "Didn't you like the one I gave you?" He frowned and picked up her wrist gently to examine the charms.
"I loved it but it's too precious for everyday." She withdrew her arm but forced a smile for him. "I'll save that for special occasions." She knew just how to sooth the vanities of a man like Ivan.
"Every time we're together is a special occasion." He slid closer to her. "Let me ask you something."
"What?"
"Did he see the bracelet I gave you before he bought you this thing?"
She didn't like the way he referred to her bracelet as a thing nor where he was going with this. "I guess he did."
"As I thought. And tell me did he even know it was your birthday before he saw it?" She sighed and did not want to answer him. "Also as I thought. So he did all this out of jealousy not out of knowing or caring when your birthday is."
"Ivan you don't understand him."
"Wrong." He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her within an inch of his face. "I understand him perfectly. If he hadn't seen us together, he wouldn't have done a thing."
"I don't want to talk about this." She tried to pull away but his arms were powerful and he wouldn't let her. Being forcefully held by strong arms wasn't entirely unpleasant. It was good to be wanted.
"How long are you going to waste your time on him? You know every time his name comes up you look miserable. Why do you put yourself through that? I would make you," he paused and swallowed "so happy. You know I would." He stroked her hair and pushed a strand behind her ear. He wasn't lying when he told her he would keep the pressure on. She didn't know what to say to him and looked down avoiding his eyes.
"I don't want to talk about him any more."
He lowered his head so she had to look at him again. "Nor do I." He leaned close and kissed her softly, then not so softly. "I'm in love with you Detka. I'm going to romance you until I make you fall in love with me." He paused and softly brushed his lips against hers. "And then I'll romance you for the rest of our lives. You deserve someone who loves you." He leaned in and kissed her deeply again, this time she wound her hands around his neck and kissed him back which made him groan softly. He lowered his hand down her back into her hip pocket as his other hand slid up her thigh under the table.
Sasha's head was spinning from his brash declarations and the pleasant feel of his lips and stubble grazing her face. There was something electrifying about the way he didn't care who saw them, or what anyone thought of what they were doing. He wasn't ashamed of her or the way he felt about her. He understood his feelings. Things were uncomplicated with Ivan Karkaroff. He loved her, and that was it. Oh, why can't Severus be more like this? She thought and then immediately pushed him away.
"What's wrong?"
She was flustered and worried that he would know she was thinking of another man. "Ivan, we're in public. I'm a Professor. This is entirely inappropriate behavior for The Three Broomsticks." She laughed nervously.
"Then let's get out of here." He stood up and threw what Sasha thought was triple the money they owed on their tab down on the table, and then extended his hand to her. She walked out the door with him under the nosey gaze of the majority of the patrons. No secrets in this town. It was sure to get back to Severus. She wondered if he would even care.
Severus returned to his quarters around ten o'clock completely exhausted after a particularly grueling day of blocking the Dark Lord's attempts to invade his mind while disclosing only authorized bits of intelligence on the order to him. He had been called to his side right at two when he should have been seeing Sasha and there had been no time to explain to her. What must she be thinking about him right now? He agonized over this as he looked out the window into her window. Her light was out and so he decided not to wake her. If he put off explaining till morning, perhaps she would have cooled off. Hopefully she wouldn't be too angry with him.
His window was cracked open and from outside he heard a woman's laugh that was unmistakably Sasha's. He flew over to the window to see her coming up the hill with that Russian bastard Ivan. He had his arm around her and appeared to telling her an amusing story. His delivery was animated and she laughed and interjected comments as he went. Every so often they would stop walking and he would plant a kiss on her cheek. Severus quickly extinguished all lights in his room so he could spy on them without being detected. As much as he wanted to know every detail, he kept shutting his eyes and gritting his teeth. How could she do this after the night they spent together? Couldn't she see how hard he was trying? Didn't she know how he felt? No, perhaps she didn't. How could she when he was unsure himself? But why this guy? They were spending so much time together, everything was going well or so he thought.
She must have been crushed today when once again he let her down. And that rat bastard had been here to pick up the pieces. How convenient. He hated Voldemort more than ever. His first love had been murdered. Though he begged for her life the request had been dismissed as if it didn't matter. Now once again, his foolish choices were killing his relationship with Sasha. Only this time it was a long slow death and he was forced to watch.
As they stepped into the courtyard and approached the castle door together Severus realized to his horror that she was going to take him back to her quarters. His stomach contracted and his breathing became irregular. He was losing. He was losing her, his prize. Ivan had one hand on the door but Sasha stopped, her feet planted firmly outside. She was telling him he couldn't come in. Good girl. Ivan appeared to be attempting to debate his way into her bed for the night. She was shaking her head. He had seen her do this with many men. The sweet but firm blow off, he was glad to see Ivan wasn't getting special treatment.
Ivan waved his hand and the ribbon came out of her hair causing her blonde locks to spill over her shoulders. Severus was entranced from thirty yards away, he feared to imagine what it looked like from Ivan's perspective. She reached to grab the ribbon back but he stepped away. She made another attempt. Severus growled at this trite move designed to get her to come to him. Finally her back was against the door and he moved in for the kill. He kissed her passionately and ran his hand up her leg until he could grab her backside. Severus was livid but he couldn't stop watching. This was what he had been dreaming of doing and now this Johnny-come-lately was touching his Sasha. He refused to tolerate it. His instinct was to burn through him with the cruciatus curse but then he saw Sasha's face as Ivan kissed her neck. She was looking forlornly up at his window. Maybe she was thinking of him. This wasn't what she wanted, but then why the hell was she letting it happen? He closed his eyes and focused as hard as he could on her. He willed his words into her mind. "Please don't give up on me. I need you so badly." When he opened his eyes she was ducking out of Ivan's arms.
"Ivan, this isn't right. I have to go in now." She sputtered, unsure of what just happened for the second time.
"Argh!" Ivan growled and half-heartedly raised his fists in the air. Then he looked back at her and smiled. "Alright Detka. We do this on your time. I'll be traveling for the next couple months but I want you at my home for Christmas."
"Ivan, I" but he cut her off.
"Shh, don't say no. Just think about it." He draped the ribbon over the back of her neck and then used it to pull her gently to him as he kissed her forehead. "Remember, I want to be with you. No guess work, no games, no obstacles, just you and I together." He walked a few steps away from her and then turned. "I'm going to write you insanely romantic letters. Expect them." He smiled and she waved good-bye to him.
Severus watched Ivan walk of the grounds and then fixed his eyes on Sasha's window while wondering if he would get to see any skin tonight. He was disgusted with himself yet again leering through her window like a peeping Tom when he had planned to be skin to skin with her by now. He poured himself a brandy and sat down in his chair, still in the dark and getting aroused at the mere thought of seeing her naked. He needed a release very badly. After seeing her with Ivan he was tense with anger and trying not to explode. He knew he had no right to be jealous after standing her up and also knew that he would scare her away if he took his anger out on her. This time would be different. He would bite his tongue and proceed as planned as if this little hiccup hadn't happened. He desperately hoped that she would also.
Her light came on as he unbuttoned the top of his trousers. She walked over to the window pulled out her wand and closed the drapes.
