Note: Content edit to explain better the reasoning. Sorry about that.


"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't much care where―" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"―so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

(Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 6)


Lillie crouched in the darkness of the monument. Jericho was sitting against a wall, in the corner of the entrance lobby, looking over his rifle.

Getting into the purifier had been fairly simple. Lillie bought Rad-Away and swam across the basin to the back end of the monument from Rivet City. Jericho pitched a fit about getting their equipment wet, but she suspected he was more upset at the fact he was effectively getting a bath.

He did smell better, after they'd stormed the shores of the monument and taken down the Enclave soldiers in their path. As much as she'd hated to do that―

She knew now that she was marked the moment she'd been forced out by Eden, so many weeks before. And... being picked up as she had in Vault 87, escaping from Raven Rock after assaulting Colonel Autumn, attacking Enclave soldiers outside of the bunker―and fighting her way inside the purifier―all of it had been put into place in a meticulous manner by Eden, from the moment she arrived under supervision. Her actions were those of a traitor, through and through.

There was simply no choice but for her to continue this path. She had no place in the wasteland. No home left with the Enclave. Her entirety had been crafted for one specific purpose, to lead to this moment.

And she would finish it. Everything. Somehow. God, she was so stupid.

Lillie could feel the vial at her side. She'd tried not to imagine what would happen, if she didn't put it into the purifier, but... She groaned under her breath, closing her eyes. Eden couldn't know she would use it. It had to know she was a fifty-fifty chance. Hadn't Eden spent year upon year drilling her about duty to her fellow man? The brainwashing that her dad claimed she'd been subject to... She groaned under her breath, shaking her head.

He was right, about that. It was hard for her to believe that she had been that person, those weeks before. She felt so completely different, now―

Lillie tried again to tell herself that she was only following the orders because she had to, because if she didn't the Enclave would lose its leader and its best chance for survival in the wasteland. She poked her head around the corner, trying to work up her courage―

"Fuckin' get on with it," Jericho groaned, grumpily.

"I told you," Lillie hissed, pulling herself back to the corner. "I'm thinking." She glared at him.

"You told me you wanted to talk to that Colonel of yours," Jericho snapped, a little louder. "You wanna say goodbye or somethin', that's fine. Why do I gotta be here for that?"

Lillie held up her hand with a threat, glaring at him. "You followed me, you asshole," she growled.

Jericho laughed, lowering his rifle. "Yeah, yeah." He lit a cigarette and stared at the wall, thoughtfully. "I'll sit tight up here, if you want," he said.

"You'll get yourself killed," Lillie pointed out. "There's bound to be reinforcements, not to mention the Brotherhood will be storming through. You aren't doing yourself a favor by staying here."

"You ain't exactly doin' me any favors, either," Jericho sniped back. "You ain't killed me, yet." He grunted, coughing, and smacked himself in the chest.

"Why would I kill you?" Lillie asked him, honestly annoyed.

"You earned it," Jericho answered, his tone one of firm decision.

"I'm not going to kill some mangy old ex-raider simply because he thinks I deserve the right," she shot back. "You aren't worth the hassle, Jericho."

He burst into laughter, ashes flying everywhere. "I'm already dead, kid. Leavin' Megaton was the first time I felt alive, in a long fuckin' time." Jericho pinched the cigarette in his teeth and held up his rifle, looking into the breech. "You and me both know that ain't a good thing. I figure you got the right stuff to put me down for good."

One last fuckin' hurrah, again. Lillie considered the man for a moment. These escapades had been a way for him to feel the thrill, one more time. Everything that had gone on was something he had reveled in, and...

"I will kill you, some day." She looked around the corner again. "But you'll live today."

Jericho coughed again, staring a hole into her back with his bloodshot eyes. "Ain't that a fuckin' shame," he muttered.

Lillie sighed, rubbed her eyes, and turned back to him. "I don't trust Eden," she said, then hesitated. "But I trust you, and I trust Colonel Autumn."

"The eye shit," he answered.

"He said the feed was terminated," she near-whispered. "I can't know that's the truth."

"It ain't." Jericho flicked the cigarette, held up his rifle, and pushed himself up from the debris. "No one tells the truth if they don't gotta."

Lillie remembered. She'd been lied to so often. All she was able to manage was a halfhearted attempt at making her dad think she'd lied, once she knew her own tell. If she'd been given more time to test that...

"C'mon, kid, let's go." Jericho ground his teeth together, grimacing. "I don't like sittin' on my goddamn hands. You goin' in there, or what?"

"Yeah," she breathed. "Let's go."


The Enclave inside of the monument were spread out thin enough that Lillie managed to slip into the rotunda without being seen. Even Jericho, who couldn't go two minutes without coughing up a lung, was able to follow her into the control area unmolested. A skeleton crew of soldiers was a worrying sign, though Lillie wasn't entirely sure what to make of it just yet.

She closed the door quietly behind them, as Jericho swept to the right with his rifle up. Two Enclave soldiers in Hellfire armor immediately drew on them, one calling out their arrival. Lillie's hand went up and out, silently asking Jericho not to fire.

Colonel Autumn was standing with his back to the doorway, one hand inside his jacket as he turned to see who had entered. Lillie pulled herself up, standing straight and tall as he'd shown her, and dropped hands to her sides. Her heart fluttered madly inside her chest―

He staggered backward, when he saw her. The look of confusion that spread over his face was unpleasant. He seemed to be in disbelief at first, then his eyebrows drew together and his mouth tugged down into a frown. The hand that was in his breast pocket flattened against his chest, the other shaking visibly.

Lillie kept her eyes on his, her face neutral. "Colonel Autumn, sir," she said, saluting.

"I... shouldn't be surprised," he said. His voice was unsteady, full of confusion.

Lillie stilled her frown, lowering her hand. "Sir, I have to report―"

"Don't," he murmured, his gaze sweeping down. He closed his eyes and sighed through his nose, loudly.

If he was rattled, what did it mean? What had happened? Lillie blinked, startled by his response. She―well, she'd hit him in the head, the last time she'd seen him... maybe he was angry with her, or―

"Why couldn't you stay dead," he muttered, bitterly.

The failsafe. Lillie's mouth dropped into an 'O', shocked. Of course Eden had told him. Colonel Autumn had thought that she'd died when the failsafe activated, and now he was―

She felt the tears prickling at her eyes. This was the same. The same as she'd felt about her dad, the same as she'd told Jericho. She'd been so angry with her dad, back then, and if he'd just stayed dead she could have―she would have been free to do what Eden wanted of her, without the manipulation, without―all that trouble―

No, Lillie, she told herself. The plot was already underway. Eden had planned for so much, it wouldn't have mattered if her dad was dead or not. It would have found a way around the minor annoyance, regardless. And there was the added element of Colonel Autumn―who was standing in front of her and looking for all the world like he wanted to flee.

She'd never seen such a look on his face. It was terrifying.

"I'm sorry, sir?" she asked, steeling her heart against the fear.

Did he think she really was the enemy? Lillie's heart tried to explode in her chest. She had killed Enclave soldiers, in order to get to the rotunda―

"Don't be," Colonel Autumn murmured, his gaze sweeping down. He closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. "You have no reason to be sorry."

The fear left her mouth dry, but she―she had to carry on. He was accepting his fate. She had accepted hers, or so she'd thought. Colonel Autumn must agree, mollifying her with that statement, but why did she still feel so scared? Why did she suddenly want to run away?

Her ears started to hurt from the pent-up tears that she refused to let loose. If her fate was to―to give everyone their dream, then―why was this so confusing?! She knew what she was here to do! She had to finish everything!

If she didn't... Lillie felt the shudder and suppressed it. Jericho's rattling breathing focused her back into the situation.

"Sir, before I left Raven Rock I was tasked with something," she said, gathering as much courage as she could. The hammering in her chest hadn't dulled. It hurt, but...

He stared at her with such a worn expression, she almost heard her heart hit her ribs and flop to the bottom of her stomach with a wet thump. "Any orders you may have received are not to be followed," Colonel Autumn told her, frankly.

"Yes, sir," Lillie said, nodding sharply. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the vial, staring at it for a moment for holding it out for him. "Colonel Autumn?"

He ignored her words, staring at her chin and swallowing hard. She watched his Adam's apple bobbing. "You are no longer my subordinate," he said, after a long silence. "Your service is no longer required by the Enclave."

Lillie's arm faltered. He was... firing her? Her hand dropped to her side, fingers twitching on the vial. She was somewhat relieved that she wasn't an enemy, but what did this mean?

"You aren't Enclave, Lillie. You never were." Colonel Autumn moved his hand to his face, putting his fingers to his eyes and sighing. "This is a military operation. You should not be here. You need to leave."

She blinked, her hand loosening and dropping the vial to the floor. It hit the ground with a sharp clinking noise, echoing loudly in the now-silent room. Her heart suddenly leaped into her throat and choked her words, her eyes filling with tears.

This was it. Everything she'd tried to do, all the fighting she'd done to keep herself alive and help him. She couldn't do what she had to, in the end. She couldn't get rid of Eden. She hadn't used the priority override. It was all her fault―

Stop this nonsense, Lillie! she told herself. You're braver than this!

"With all due respect, sir, I'm the only one who knows the code for the purifier," she said, pushing through the pain.

"Your service is no longer required," Colonel Autumn repeated, clenching his teeth and closing his eyes against her. His hand went back to his temple, rubbing it in a circle.

She'd seen him do that many times, inside of the bunker. Her breath came faster.

"What we doin' here, Lillie," Jericho muttered at her, from the side. "We ain't welcome."

Lillie kept her eyes on Colonel Autumn. She couldn't leave―

The realization of what was happening dawned on her, suddenly. Colonel Autumn still thought she was being manipulated. He must―he must be pushing her away, again, trying to give her some sort of hint―maybe even protect her from what he knew to be coming, the reclamation of the purifier by the Brotherhood―

She burst into tears, finally. Jericho swore under his breath. Colonel Autumn's eyes snapped open and focused on her. The Enclave soldiers looked to him, their body language reading unsure.

It was inevitable, wasn't it? The Brotherhood would come through the memorial and eliminate all Enclave, and if she could honestly say she wasn't―she lied terribly, everyone knew it―and she would be free to aid them, get the purifier back up and running.

She didn't want to believe that Colonel Autumn would give up everything, just to keep her out of harm's way. He couldn't possibly respect her that much, and she didn't dare to believe that he loved her in that fashion. It must be... a tactical choice. A retreat, so that the Enclave could come back from the brink once more, possibly with her help, and occupy the building again―

"Please, sir..." she pleaded, as inaudibly as she could. "Let me do this."

He stared at her for what felt like ages with his gray eyes locked onto hers, a confluence of emotions spreading across them. Hers were still streaming tears, giving up all pretense. She didn't care what he thought, now. She had to finish this.

For him.

"Lillie," Colonel Autumn said, finally, his voice stable and his tone annoyed. "Activate the purifier."