Emma and Hook were out of the library before she had a chance to debate the pros and cons of the plan that they'd presented her with and in the end, she figured that might have been a good thing. Thinking before acting hadn't exactly gotten her very far. Maybe acting before thinking would work. For them, clearly not for her.
"Where did everybody go?" Rapunzel reappeared over her shoulder once more with a glass of water in her hand.
"To the pawn shop, I think," she sighed. "The book was written in Squid Ink, Killian recognized it, and now they have a plan. Stun Rumple with the ink, get the scissors. Hopefully, they'll think to get the dust as well…"
Rapunzel nodded. "Not a bad plan."
Yes, but that also meant it wasn't a good plan either. Not unless she began to make arrangements to change that.
"Here, you should drink this, you look a bit pale," Rapunzel stated handing her the water.
She thanked her but didn't take a sip, instead she stared down into its surface and tapped the side as she thought. "Do you remember that spell we found, the one that allows you to use blood magic to trap an object in stone?" Rapunzel nodded. "Where was that?"
"Um," Rapunzel sighed and looked around the library, staring at the stacks of books still around them despite what she'd taken back to her private collection. "Well it was a few days ago, but I think, it might be over here?" Rapunzel quickly walked over to the circulation desk and began going through the books there before setting one before her. "This one maybe? Or maybe…it could be this one too."
She nodded as she set another before her. "Okay, I'll look for it."
"Why? Is there something you need to hide?"
"If they get the Shears we'll need to put them some place safe. If I can find the spell, I can have Emma enact it so that we keep them away from Rumple for some time. It won't be a permanent arrangement but it-"
"Buys us time," Rapunzel finished sadly. "That's getting to be the motto around here."
Belle pulled the book toward her and began paging through before she nodded, slowly agreeing with her friend. She didn't want it to be true, but Rapunzel was right. She was so tired of living until the next solution ran out. She wished that she could think of something to stop it, she wished she could reconcile and Rumple wouldn't be threatening any of what he was threatening…but she refused to let herself live in a world of dreams. She had to do what was best for her son. No matter the cost.
"I'm going to go back and look some more into that flower," Rapunzel sighed. "Even if you get the Shears you won't really be out of the woods until you can figure out an immunity to that dust. May as well make myself useful. Holler if you need me."
Rapunzel left her alone in the room, and she pushed the second book aside to continue to look through the one before her. That spell. She needed to find it. It would be perfect for this situation. She couldn't use her own blood to seal it of course; it was too risky with the baby inside of her and Rumple with the dust. All Rumple would need to do would be to speed up the pregnancy and prick their child's finger, and he would have entrance to wherever she chose to hide it. But if Emma could do it, that would be ideal. She just had to find it first.
She couldn't sit down like Rapunzel. She was too worked up. Standing at the desk going through the book was good enough. As she searched a shadow on her right side caught her eye, and she felt her heart leap in anticipation that Rapunzel had found something or that Emma and Killian had-
She jumped.
It wasn't Rapunzel.
It wasn't Emma and Killian.
It was Rumpelstiltskin.
"No," she breathed looking around for Rapunzel. She saw no one and carefully took a step away from him. If Emma and Killian were over at the shop and had used the squid ink…where were they? "No, no. How did you..."
Rumpelstiltskin took a breath. "You really think dried squid ink can hold me?" he questioned as if he was bored and she was stupid. Maybe she had been. "I'm far too powerful for that now."
Of course. Of course, he was. She didn't know what he'd done weeks ago, when Killian had died, and Emma thought she'd destroyed the Dark One's curse, but she had long thought that it must have been something awful in order to make him absorb it the way he had. And as if he hadn't been powerful enough, now it appeared he was stronger. And she…she had no strength or magic, only the ability to toss heavy books which she knew he would deflect easily enough. She'd never had any power over him…other than her carefully chosen words. Maybe love was a weapon.
"Look," she muttered with a breath. For one moment, just a second, she dared to think that they still had an effect on her, that she could talk him down if they just talked to one another, but he had to understand… "I know you want me back, Rumple. It's...it's never gonna happen," she stated clearly. She was more than willing to work with him to raise their son together, the right way, the proper way, without magic or shears or golden shackles…but he had to be willing as well! Why did this have to end in tears or either of them?
"I know," he answered without batting an eye, as if he had already accepted the truth of it. "But I cannot lose another son, Belle. I won't. Not if I can stop it."
He was carrying something in his hand that she hadn't noticed before. But now that he held it up so that she could see that it was a glass bottle.
It was filled with golden dust.
"No," she muttered staring at it in horror. He was not going to do this! He couldn't! She wanted so to believe that he wouldn't! But she knew deep down that it was up to her to see that he didn't. Her legs gone numb she staggered over to the elevator, her only hope of escape since he was blocking the door and she didn't want to expose Rapunzel to him! She pushed the device to open the doors and watched him advance over her shoulder.
"Do you really think you can out run me?" he questioned as she
"No. Rumple. No!" she barked as it rattled in the shaft. The doors opened as she predicted and she flipped the switch to close them on the far side, but the moment she turned she saw his hand preventing the doors from closing. He advanced further, and she felt tears gather in her eyes as her heart hammered in her chest. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't! Not the man she'd known! Not the man she'd fallen in love with and slept beside and held through his nightmares! How could he think to do this instead of the alternative!
"Why?" she demanded. If this was his choice, then she wanted to hear it from his own mouth! "Why...why are you doing this?"
"After all this time, you must know. I will never be the man you think I can be," he answered obediently.
The words gave her pause.
No. After all this time, she knew that was what he thought, but she refused to believe it! He was a self-fulfilling prophecy. He didn't think he could be the man she saw, and therefore he didn't try to be, believing that it was an excuse simply because it was inevitable, but she knew otherwise because she'd seen a side of him that so few had! It wasn't a matter of whether or not he could be because she knew that he was! He just had to believe it as she did! That was the true tragedy in all of this! That he didn't believe he could be good!
"It... it doesn't have to be like that."
"I'm afraid it does," he answered. "When we met…I told you I was a difficult man to love. But more than that, I think..." he paused, and she could see the side of him that only she saw, she could see the man full of fear and panic and vulnerability, the man that she had always been able to reach. She felt hope stir as his chin trembled. What? What did he think? "I think I'm a man no one can love."
She opened her mouth and tried to speak, but the words had no sound to them. There it was again. So long as he believed that, so long as he believed that no one could love him, he would continue to be a man no one could love! All he had to do was believe it! Believe that this man she saw in front of her now didn't need his magic or his power and he could have what he wanted, what she knew he truly longed for. A family.
"But this son, with him, I can start over. Maybe he can love me."
He was smiling. Not because he was happy, but because he was hopeful that his plan would work. He was hopeful that with the shears he could take his son's love, the love he felt he never had from Neal and that…that was the root of all this trouble.
This wasn't just about their boy; it was about Neal as well. He saw this son as a chance to start over, to fix the mistakes that he had with Neal. But this son wasn't Neal! And if he took his love without ever feeling as though he deserved it…no matter what happened, he would always be truely without it.
"Not like this," she insisted taking a step closer and holding back tears. She couldn't believe she had to explain this to him yet again! Though in all fairness, it felt like ages since she'd had to tell him, but there was a time that she felt she was a broken record, saying the words every chance she got. "Don't give up, Rumple. I-I never wanted you to be perfect. I just wanted you to try!"
"I have," he argued. "And look what's happened…I've only ever pushed you away."
No. He hadn't tried. Not lately, not since Zelena's defeat. He hadn't because he always placed his magic first and foremost, used it as his crutch, his cane. He pushed her away because it was either her or magic…and he always chose magic. That wasn't trying. What they'd had before…before Lacey, before he'd gone to Neverland…that had been trying. He hadn't pushed her away then. The world had pushed them apart. But he hadn't. He had to know that!
"Now, uh...I-I'm afraid…" he looked down at the bottle in his hands and fiddled with the top of it before taking a few steps forward, reminding her of how close she'd let herself get to him after promising not too. She backed herself up against the far wall of the elevator. With nowhere to run, she wondered if this was the end of her everything. "All I really have...is this. Magic."
She nodded. Yes. That was all he had because that was what he chose to honor over and over again. And if he did this he might tell himself that it was for his family, for his son but it wasn't. It was for him. It was choosing magic to get what he wanted, and it was all wrong!
"And it may get you your son," she responded. "You know there's a price. You won't just…'push me away' again. You'll lose me forever. Is that a price that you're willing to pay?" she questioned looking him in the eye.
Suddenly his gaze flickered from sadness and determination to something more, something she wanted to see. Fear. He was afraid of what she'd said. And that was good because she was too. A lot had happened between the two of them, and it was true that most of the time she had given up hope that they could ever really be together on the same side again but this son was their chance to do that. Maybe not as lovers, but as parents! She was willing to do that for their son. But if he did this, if he used magic and took him away from her and took himself away from her…she'd be gone. She wouldn't even be a thorn in his side! He pushed. But did he really want to push her so far she couldn't pull him back?
She held her breath as a muscle twitched in his jaw, and she knew that they were at a crossroad. Either she'd lose everything, or they'd get a second chance. The choice was his. Magic? Or a family?
With no further words or explanation, Rumpelstiltskin turned and walked away.
Loved this scene. It was straightforward and sad and even hopeful in a way. Not much to say to make it better or worse except that I truly believe they are both being honest in this conversation or at least as honest to their beliefs. Because remember, just because you believe something doesn't make it true.
Thank you, Grace5231973, , Fox24, and Teresa Martin, for your kind reviews! I really appreciated them. And I'm glad that you enjoyed the last chapter and how Rapunzel is being dealt with. Sorry, I had to get rid of her again, but it was best, we'll see where she was in the next chapter...and then get rid of her again because that is what this episode required sadly. Peace and Happy Reading!
