.:Chapter Forty-Five – Emotionless:.
"I'm emotionless right now. It's hard to describe how I'm feeling." ~Wes Scott Jr.
"You can't possibly be serious," Ronan laughed as he walked into the sitting area of the hotel suite laughing when he spotted saw Julius, Riley, Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney all huddled together on one couch, under a mountain of blankets and pillows. "It's not that cold in here."
"Dude, there's gotta be a draft somewhere," Patrick said as he pulled the blanket tighter against him. Julius, on the end, made a sound and pulled the blanket back over him. "Because I don't think that I've ever been this cold in my entire life."
"I think you're exaggerating a little," Brittany commented, moving over to stand next to Ronan. She pulled down the sleeves of her light pink sweater. "If you were that cold, I think that you would be suffering from hypothermia or something." She shook her head. "And none of your body parts are even the slightest bit of blue."
"Do you want to check?" Julius grumbled, slouching down on the couch, making sure his feet didn't hit the floor.
Brittany turned to Ronan, a half smile on her face. "How do you put up with them? One or two at a time I could understand, but I couldn't imagine all six when they act like this." She commented, ignoring the cries of 'hey' that she got in reply.
"Well, unfortunately they all share the stubborn gene, so it wouldn't matter," Ronan said, laughing once more. "The only thing that I've learned that helps is if you either ignore them or just force them to do whatever it is that they don't want to do. It usually works." He turned back to the Jacksons. "Speaking of, we came out here to spend the Christmas holidays with your friends, not to sit on a couch in a hotel room all day."
"Sorry," Rhuben narrowed her eyes at Ronan. "Last I checked you were the one that said that told them that we would go."
"Actually," Sydney piped up. "Riley was the one that said that we would go. Back when we were having Tradition, remember?" He, along with Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Julius all turned an accusing glance over at Riley. Sydney laughed. "It's probably the first time that she hasn't talked for an extended amount of time." She merely scowled and brought the blanket up to her chin.
"Hey guys," Carlos greeted as he, Logan, Kendall, Katie, and Mrs. Knight walked through the front door of the hotel suite. "We were just wondering if you wanted to-"
"SHUT THE DOOR!" Julius, Riley, Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney shouted in unison. Carlos jumped and let out a loud scream at the shout and Logan flinched and quickly shut the door to the suite behind him.
"Wow, you guys must really hate the cold." Kate said, laughing as Carlos. She turned back the Jacksons and shook her head. "Seriously, you all are acting like a bunch of babies."
"That's what I said," Brittany nodded.
"Shut up." Sydney snapped and pulled the blanket around him tighter. Noah let out a sound of protest and grabbed on to the blanket. "Stop it! You're hogging all the warmth!"
"Um, what are you doing?" Carlos asked, having calmed down from being scared. He and Katie walked over to move in front of their friends, but Kendall and Logan stayed by the door. Logan didn't want to get any closer, just in case he would annoy Rhuben with his mere presence, and Kendall just looked like he didn't get a good night's sleep.
"Trying to stay warm, mate, what does it look like?" Julius replied as he raised his eyebrow. "I'm not sure if you're aware of it," He crossed his arms over his chest. "But we're from Australia and California, we don't like the cold."
"Well, we were wondering if you guys wanted to come snowboarding with us," Katie said, placing her hands on her hips. "I mean, that's more fun sitting in a hotel suite all day, trying to stay warm and ordering room service." Her eyes lit up. "Actually, I think that having room service would be the best part of all of it."
"Don't even think about it, Katie," Mrs. Knight warned her daughter. "You already have enough food at home. If you want room service, get Kendall to bring it up to you." Kendall shot his mother a look but didn't say anything as Katie's smile widened at the idea.
"But snowboarding is so much fun," Carlos stated and stuck out his lower lip in a pout. "It's really cool and it's a great form of exercise." He added, hoping to entice Patrick. He was the one out of all of them that liked to do anything that kept him in shape and was probably the most active out of all of them. But this time, it seemed like he actually would prefer to sit on a couch all day. "I'll be your best friend if you come with us."
"Nice try," Noah smiled.
"Guys," Kendall finally spoke up. He adjusted his beanie and walked across the room so he was standing beside Carlos and Katie. Logan continued to hover by the door, but he at least moved a little closer. His gaze was still mostly on his feet though. "You can't just come out here with us and sit in the hotel all day." He rolled his eyes at Patrick's interjection of 'watch-us'. "Come on, you guys are going to have a lot of fun."
"You might as well go," Ronan finally spoke up. He thought for a moment, as if trying to think of a good excuse for them to leave. He wasn't that good at lying and when he was put on the spot, it made it that much harder to be convincing. "I'm going to be swamped here working on your website and stuff and Kacy said that she would help me." He looked over at Mrs. Knight, who nodded after a second of looking confused. "Besides, I need to talk to my publicist to see if they'd be willing to work with you to."
"Wait," Riley held up a hand. "We told you that we liked to do things-"
"Yourselves," Ronan interrupted. "I know. But there are times and there are rumors that may come around that you're not aware of, that would need to be debunked quickly. So it'll probably be a good idea if my publicist helps to get the word out if any other questions come up. You'll still be doing it yourselves, but he'll be a back up." He then gave them a serious look. "But I need peace and quiet to get my work done, so go with them. I'll catch up with you guys later."
"Fine," Julius stood up, pulling the blankets off of the couch. "C'mon guys," he turned to his siblings, who all groaned in annoyance. "Ronan deserve at least an hour away from your antics."
"You're forgetting that you're the one that usually gives us the dumb ideas that we go along with." Riley stated as she climbed off the couch, the sweatshirt that she was wearing falling down to her knees and the sleeves hanging over her hands.
"Hey, that's my sweatshirt!" Julius cried as he looked at it with a raised eyebrow.
"What? You said that whatever you left behind when you went off to college we can have."
"Yeah, but I didn't say that you could purposely hide it so that you could have it."
Riley stuck her tongue out in reply as they all went to their rooms to get changed to go snowboarding. "So can we get going?" Rhuben snapped as she walked out of hers and Riley's shared room, pulling a knit hat over her hair. "The faster we get out of here the faster I can warm." She added with a less-than-pleased frown. "Where's James?" she asked.
"Oh, we're going to have to go and get him," Carlos replied. "You see, his mother doesn't really like the idea of snowboarding. She thinks that it's too dangerous. So we usually go and get him last so we can sort of force him to go."
"So why doesn't he just tell his mother 'no, I'm going to go snowboarding'?" Noah asked as he, Patrick, and Sydney walked out of their room, pulling on coats. He stopped when he saw the horrified looks on Katie's, Kendall's, Logan's, and Carlos's faces. "Did I say something wrong?" He looked concerned.
"No," Mrs. Knight shook her head. "It's just that…James's mother is really difficult to get along with."
"And you don't tell his mother, 'no'," Logan added dully.
Patrick snorted. "Obviously she hasn't met us," he commented.
"I was going to say the same thing," Rhuben agreed. "So, let's go get James and go snowboarding or whatever. I didn't leave my warm couch to sit around and talk about it."
"Bye Mom, I'm going to go snowboarding." James called as he shuffled through the living room of his house, dragging a snowboard behind him. He was moving as fast as he could because he didn't want to get caught by his over protective mother.
"James!" James froze right in front of the door, letting out a light sigh before he turned around to face his mother, Brooke Diamond. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was looking at him sharply, standing in the doorway to the living room. "You know how I feel about snowboarding. It's too dangerous."
"Mom," James said patiently. "It's just as dangerous as walking down the street when it just snowed." He tried to reason with her. "Besides, my friends are coming too, the Jacksons I told you about them, and they haven't ever gone snowboarding before." He started to walk over to his mother. "We kind of want to be sure that they have a good Christmas and we want them to see the kind of things that we do to have fun around here."
"So take them to see your high school," Mrs. Diamond replied, firmly. "I'm not letting you go out snowboarding. And that's that," she walked over to her son and placed her hands on his face. "I don't get to see you as much as I want and I don't want to risk getting a phone call that you fell and hurt yourself." He then smiled. "Besides, I don't want this handsome face to get hurt."
James raised his right eyebrow. "Thanks, Mom." He looked behind him as the doorbell rang. "That's probably the guys." He said and dropped his snowboard before walking over to the door and opening it. "Hey," he greeted his friends, opening the door wide so they could all come in."
"Hey," Kendall replied. He looked over at Mrs. Diamond. "I'm guessing that she won't let you out again?" He asked under his breath as the others headed inside.
"You guessed right," James replied. "I don't know about you, but I'm not going to get stuck having to take ballet lesson again."
"Why not?" Katie asked with a grin. "You guys did a good job and your legs looked great in those tights." She laughed as Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James all turned and glared at her. "I'm sorry, but it was the funniest thing that I had ever seen."
"So you must be James's little friends," Mrs. Diamond said as she turned to the Jacksons. They all stared at her, eyes wide, obviously knowing who she was. "I'm Brooke Diamond," she held out her hand. "It's nice to meet you."
"You too," Riley replied and reached out, shaking Mrs. Diamond's hand. She blinked in surprise when she felt Mrs. Diamond's power grip, but didn't say anything about it. She then turned to James and smacked him on the arm. "You didn't tell us that your mom is Brooke Diamond." She said to him.
"Does it matter?" James shrugged in reply.
"Well, it certainly explains his obsession with fame," Noah said. He then shook his head, getting back to the conversation at hand. "Her cosmetics are really popular back home in Australia." He explained. "If you asked, like, ten girls, nine of them would wear her stuff."
"That's so nice to hear," Mrs. Diamond said with a warm smile. "Now, I'm sure that you all were about to head over to show your friends the school," she said, speaking to Kendall, Logan, and Carlos. "Because as I was telling James here, I didn't want him to go snowboar-"
"No, actually, we were going to go snowboarding," Rhuben interrupted. She rolled her eyes when Kendall, Logan, Carlos, Katie, and even James let out a light gasps. "Wha?" James grabbed onto her arm and pulled her into his side.
"You don't tell my mom 'no'," he whispered harshly into her ear.
"Looks like she just did," Patrick remarked. He turned back to Mrs. Diamond, who looked as stunned as James did. "No disrespect, Mrs. D, it's just that…" he thought for a moment and then looked defeated, his shoulders slumping. "It's our first time in Minnesota, and the guys wanted to be sure that we had a good Christmas, so they really want to take us snowboarding."
"We don't know why, since we hate the cold," Riley added, her upper lip curling slightly. "But they seem to be really adamant about it." She tilted her head to the side. "Besides, you don't want your son to break a promise, do you?"
"It wouldn't look good for his character," Rhuben added, mimicking Riley's head tilt. The twin girls looked right at Mrs. Diamond, who looked a little annoyed.
"All right," She said finally. "You all can go snowboarding, but" she held up her finger and looked over at her son. "Only if you agree to help me deal with inventory at the company later." James groaned. It was one of his least favorite things to do when he was home. But he was proud of his mother and everything that she did.
"Fine," he agreed. He moved forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Mom," he said to her and grabbed his snowboard. "Come on; let's get out of here before she changes her mind." He quickly ushered his friends out of the door and down the street. "Whew, made it!"
"Just like old times!"Carlos declared a huge smile on his face. James, Kendall, and Logan burst out laughing at their friend's hyperness. He grabbed them into a group hug. "Doesn't it feel great to be back in Minnesota and go snowboarding again?"
"Being able to breathe would be great." Kendall gasped in reply as he shoved Carlos' hand off of his neck.
"What are we waiting for?" Noah asked, shoving his hands into his coat pockets, looking annoyed. "Let's go snowboarding so we can get back to the hotel."
"Son of a bitch!" Rhuben growled as she hit the ground again, landing hard on her butt. She sighed as she lightly slid down the hill, collecting snow between her legs. James laughed as he easily boarded over to her, watching as she brushed snow off of her lap, unclipping her snowboard from her feet.
"It's not funny, Handsome!" Rhuben cried in frustration. "This is harder than it looks"
She looked up at the top of the hill, where her brothers were trying their runs down the bunny slope. Julius was easily boarding down the hill; Sydney was slowly skiing after him. Patrick and Noah were trying to pull each other to their feet, and Riley was just sitting at the top of the hill, talking to Kendall and Logan. It looked as though the two of them were trying to grab onto her arms and force her to get up to try and snowboard, but she continued to shake her head, trying to stay sitting down. Carlos and Katie were busy building a snowman.
"From my view, Beautiful, it is." James replied as he grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. "You were leaning back too far that time. Try keeping your balanced centered and you'll be fine." He thought for a moment. "Like you would if you were surfing."
"Easy for you to say," Rhuben huffed as she continued to brush snow off of her arms and legs. "You've grown up with the snow." She peered over at him with annoyance. "News flash, not everyone likes the stuff."
"That's true," James mused as he unclipped his feet from his snowboard. "But I'm sure you'll grow to love it." He smiled mischievously as he crouched towards the ground. His smile grew bigger as Rhuben continued on with her rant, not noticing that James was now standing up, grinning at her evilly, a hand clutching a snowball behind his back.
"What?" Rhuben narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just thinking of a way that would make you like the snow better." He replied and shoved the snowball into her face.
"James!" Rhuben sputtered as she brushed the snow from her face as James burst out laughing. She reached down, quickly made a snowball, and tossed it into James' face himself, before the two broke out into a small snowball fight.
James turned, hearing a whoop, and brushed snow out of his face. "There goes Logan,"
Rhuben stopped what she was doing and shielded her face from the sun as she turned to see what was happening. He was standing up at the top of the hill, knees bent and a look of concentration on his face. Logan prepared himself before bending his knees and starting his descent down the hill, carving his way back and forth over the fresh powder that had fallen onto the ground. He aimed for the hill that was towards the bottom. He bent his knees and jumped as he reached the end of the jump and did a simple 180 before bending his knees to turn back, slowing his descent so he could climb back up the hill.
James turned back to Rhuben. "You guys still aren't talking?" he asked.
"Nope," Rhuben replied simply as she picked up her board. "And I don't pan on it."
"It's just…I guess that I don't see why you're so mad at him," James continued as he picked up his board and hurried after her. "He just wanted you to understand what he was feeling."
"And I wanted him to understand how I was feeling," Rhuben huffed in reply as she stopped walking. "I was accused of trying to replace him, accused of treating him like a nothing. And on top of that, I have to deal with the stupid trial coming up and the fact that Robert-"She quickly cut herself off, biting her lower lip as she looked at the ground.
"Robert what?" James asked gently.
Rhuben knew that she couldn't tell him what was going on, he would think that's eh was completely crazy. Anyone that was involved with the trial knew that he was ordered to stay a long ways away from her and her siblings. If he knew what they had been experiencing…things would just get worse. They had disrupted the boy's lives enough already, they didn't want to do it again.
"Nothing," Rhuben shook her head. "It's just that he's an idiot for wanting to countersue us when we have so much proof," she turned and continued to walk up the hill again.
James walked beside her for a few moments. He didn't say anything until they got closer to the top. "Piece of advice," He finally said. Rhuben looked sharply at him. "I know that you didn't ask for it," he gave her a pointed look. "Like you weren't exactly asking for advice on Dak back when you guys were sleeping over in our apartment." Rhuben continued to look at him. "Logan may be smart, but he can do dumb things sometimes. Just like the rest of us. But he always had a good reason behind it. Just like you guys."
The two reached the top of the hill and dropped their snowboards on the ground. "Son of a bitch!" They turned and smiled as Riley fell on her butt, like Rhuben had done before. She pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I hate this place."
"There's no question that you guys are twins," James remarked.
"Yeah, for whatever reason, we get that a lot," Rhuben said sarcastically.
"You didn't even give it a chance," Carlos said as he stopped by Riley. She reached over and pushed him to the ground.
"Well, I'm tired of having snow all down my ass," She replied. Riley shook her head as she watched Kendall and Katie take another run down the hill. Patrick, Noah, Sydney, and Julius were right behind them, Patrick and Sydney jumping onto Noah's and Julius's backs, trying to knock them over as they went. "But as long as the guys are having fun, then I guess I can stick it out."
"That's the spirit," Carlos cheered as he grabbed Riley and pulled her up onto her feet.
"There's a reason we call you Care-Bear," Riley grunted as she was crushed in Carlos's hug.
James smiled. He was glad that they were finally starting to loosen up a little bit. He didn't think that they would get used to it. But they seemed to be progressing well. When Rhuben spoke, he turned back to her.
"For the record," she said, watching her brothers as well. "When people say that you're not bright…that's a lie."
"Kendall," Mrs. Knight poked her head into her son's bedroom and knocked on the door frame. He didn't look at her. He was lying on his bed, his head pressed into his pillow, his arms underneath it and had been since he had gotten back from snowboarding earlier that day. "Are you ok, honey?"
"Not really," Kendall muttered in reply. "I don't want to talk about it either."
Not wanting to sound like a cliché, he had spent most of the day thinking about Jo and their break-up. He had thought that going off to Minnesota for Christmas and leaving her behind to go to North Carolina to stay with her family would help keep his mind off of her. Even snowboarding with his friends didn't help; he had already woken up in a bad mood, not really wanting to go. But he and the guys had already agreed to do it, to make their friends feel welcome, so he couldn't back out. It wasn't only the break up that bothered him; it was still the trial coming up and the shock that his father was going to be a big part of it that was getting to him.
"Well, you don't have to if you don't want to," Mrs. Knight said. "But someone is here to see you."
"It can't be one of the guys, or else they would have just barged in here," Kendall commented.
Mrs. Knight smiled. "Well, they're in Katie's room; she wanted to show it off so badly, since we have to share one back at the PalmWoods." She went over to her son and gave him a kiss on the side of the head. "Feel better, honey."
"Thanks Mom," Kendall swung himself off of his bed and followed his mother out of the room, before turning and going to Katie's room. He was mildly surprised to see Katie talking animatedly to Riley as she stood with her hands in a leather jacket pocket.
"And this one," Katie was showing her a photo album. "Is when Kendall got stung by a bee on the nose." She pointed at it as she smiled up at Riley. "And then I drew circles around it to make it look like a bulls-eye."
"What are you doing here?" Kendall asked as he quickly moved across the room and grabbed the photo album from Riley's hands. He closed it and held it behind his back before turning to Katie. "And why are you showing her embarrassing pictures of me?"
"I'm your sister, it's my job," Katie replied. She then shrugged casually. "Besides, I already went through your embarrassing baby pictures."
Kendall gritted his teeth. "So why don't you show her your embarrassing baby pictures?"
"Because I don't take embarrassing pictures," Katie replied, patting her brother on the arm. "That's how I got the good genes in the family." She then looked around Riley. "I got the brains too, if you couldn't tell." She added.
"From the fact that you're trying so hard to take over the economic world, I don't doubt it," Riley said with a half smile. "I like your room, by the way," She added, taking a quick look around. "Not too feminine. Reminds me of mine."
"Thanks," Katie beamed.
"I'm hiding these," Kendall announced, walking out of the room, holding onto the photo album tightly. He went back to his room and tossed it onto a random pile of clothes on the floor before flopping back down onto his bed.
"Has anyone ever told you that your hockey obsession is actually really creepy?" Riley asked as she stepped into his room, looking around. She walked over to a shelf that held medals and trophies. "These I understand, because you got them yourself, but all of the posters and pictures make me feel like I'm being watched."
"Did you want something?" Kendall asked, turning his head to the side. "My Mom said that you came by to see me."
"Well," Riley slowly took her eyes away from the hockey posters to look at him. "I just couldn't help but notice that you seemed kind of down when we were snowboarding today." She shrugged. "Is something up?"
Kendall gave her a funny look as he slowly sat up. He brought up his knees and looped his arms around them. He studied her for a moment. "Did Jo tell you that we broke up?" He finally asked.
"No," Riley shook her head. "But you just did." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Though I can tell that you don't really want to talk about that."
"Good guess," Kendall stretched out and rested on his back, lacing his hands behind his head.
He stared at the ceiling where he had a hockey poster taped up. He smiled a little, remembering the many times that he would stare at the poster and practically pray that he would play a good hockey game the next day. In fact, he used to pray to it whenever he hoped to get a good grade on a test or a paper, or whenever he was waiting for good news. In fact, when they had moved out of the house and over to LA to move into the PalmWoods, he begged his mom not to move any of his hockey stuff, just so he had something familiar to come back to whenever they were on vacation. But now, it just made him a little depressed.
He heard a rustling sound and lightly lifted his head, his eyebrows lowering when he noticed that Riley hadn't left like he had thought. She was standing by his desk, holding onto a notebook, reading what had been written in it.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"What's this?" She turned and shook the notebook at him. Kendall got off the bed and took it from her. "I don't usually snoop in people's rooms, but I was a bit curious." She admitted. When Kendall didn't say anything, she slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and lightly rocked back and forth. "It looks like a letter," she prompted.
"What are you doing here?" Kendall asked, focusing on the notebook in front of him.
"Isn't it obvious?" Riley asked. She then held her hands up defensively. "Ok, your mom said that you seemed kind of down and she brought it up to Ronan. When we got back from snowboard, which my ass is still bruised from by the way, he thought that it would be a good idea if one of us came to talk to you. And after I had told them about our conversation when we were at the hockey rink," Kendall gave her a sharp look and she kept going. "No worries, I didn't tell them everything, he suggested that I come by and see if you wanted to talk."
"Oh," Kendall studied the notebook again. He looked at the words that he had written and remembered how he had felt when he wrote them. The same way that he had felt when he had first, finally, openly admitted his feelings. With a sigh, he turned it around and handed it back to Riley. "It is a letter." He said as she took it and looked at him curiously. "Mom thought that it would be a good idea if Katie and I wrote a letter to our Dad, but not really send it to him, just so we could get our feelings out."
"Letter therapy," Riley nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."
"You did it too?" Kendall asked.
"Mhm," she walked across the room, lightly smacking the notebook against her open palm. "Shortly after our parents…passed away we were suggested to write letters to them or about them about how we were feeling with everything." She paused. "We don't really like to talk about our feelings, as you guys have probably noticed by now. We, as a joke, call it Emotiaphobia; being afraid of our feelings. So being able to put it out in a letter helped us to express our emotions without worrying about someone else reading it."
"Did it help?" Kendall asked.
"Do the names Sonny, Believe, One Year, Six Months, Meet You There, The Heart Never Lies, View From Heaven, Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me?), or Iris mean anything to you?" Riley turned back to Kendall, her eyes burning into his.
He shrugged. "Yeah," he said slowly, not really getting her point. "They're all songs of yours."
"And they're also letters or inspired by letters that we have written to our parents or about our parents to help us cope." Riley looked down at the notebook that was in her hands and tossed it to Kendall. "And I think that you could do it with this too."
"You think this can be a song?" Kendall asked skeptically as he sat down on his bed. "I don't think so." Riley sat down on the edge of his bed, her feet still on the floor.
"I've been working on a song for the 'Black' part of our CD," Riley said slowly, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "I don't think we've told you guys, but what we decided for our new CD is that we want it to be a deluxe edition, entitled Black and White." She hesitated for a moment, looking thoughtful. "Like I said, there was a song that I was working on for a while and this can really help, if you don't mind me using it."
"Whatever," Kendall shrugged.
"So let me see if it'll work," Riley leaned over the notebook and pushed a button. A melody on an acoustic guitar played for a few moments and she nodded lightly while she mouthed the words to his letter. "Yeah, this should work." She pushed the notebook back to him before getting off the bed and walking over to the black acoustic guitar that sat in the corner of his room. "May I?"
"Go ahead," Kendall waved a hand and she picked it up, walking it back over to him. He reached over to his night stand and picked up his wallet. "Do you need a guitar pick?"
"Nope," Riley sat cross-legged on the end of Kendall's bed and put the guitar in her lap, balancing it. She then reached up into the base of her right pigtail and pulled out a guitar pick." Kendall looked at her funny. "What? Rhubes can wear drumsticks in her hair and I can't put my guitar pick in there?" She asked, slightly annoyed.
"I've just never seen it done before," Kendall replied. He took his notebook. "What do you want me to do with this?"
"Sing it," Riley said. "You already heard the melody, I'm going to play it on here," she drummed her fingers on his guitar. "I'll show you it'll make a good song, along with what I already have for it." She noticed Kendall's hesitation. "Trust me."
"Do you trust me?" Kendall returned.
Riley studied him for a long moment. She would say that she was friends with the guys; she did spend about 24/7 with them working on their music and their band. They did invite her and her siblings to their hometown to try and have a good holiday after a long time of living in pain and fear. They did work hard to be sure that they were happy after the past month's recent events. But there were still a lot of things that they couldn't tell them.
"About as far as I could throw you," She replied finally. Kendall seemed to take the answer in stride, for he cleared his throat and raised the notebook to his face so he could sing it when she instructed him to. After tuning the guitar for a few seconds, Riley nodded over to him as she started to play.
"Hey Dad, I'm writing to you," he sang softly. "Not to tell you, that I still hate you, just to ask you how you feel; and how we fell apart. How this fell apart." He looked up at Riley and she nodded again urging him to continue. "Are you happy out there in this great wide world? Do you think about your son? Do you miss your little girl? When you lay your head down, how do you sleep at night? Do you even wonder if we're all right? But we're all right, we're all right."
Riley leaned back slightly as she moved her right hand, her strumming hand, up and down the strings faster, moving into what sounded like the chorus of the song. "It's been a long hard road without you by my side. Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried? You broke my mother's heart; you broke your children for life. It's not okay, but we're alright. I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes, but those were just a long lost memory of mine. I spent so many years learning how to survive. Now, I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive."
Kendall dropped his notebook to his lap, having finished the letter that he had written. Only part of the song had lied, he did hate his father. He couldn't and probably would never get over the feeling of being abandoned. At least he was realistic enough to know that he wasn't going to get over it any time soon. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when Riley kept going, the fingers on her left hand moving over the frets easily.
He noticed a slightly annoyed look on her face and guessed that it was because the neck of his guitar was so big, but her hands were small, causing the gap of her finger formations to be a bit more difficult. But as she started to sing, the annoyed look went away and a half haunted, half angry look filled her face instead. He noticed at that moment that she and her siblings had that look a lot when they were singing something that had to do with their past or the abuse that they had gone through.
"The days I spent so cold, so hungry," she had her head turned to the side so some of her fringe and her red strand of hair slightly covered her face, but he could still see the pain. "Were full of hate, I was so angry. The scars run deep inside this tattooed body. There's things I'll take to my grave. But I'm okay, I'm okay." She sang and then looked up at Kendall again, lightly nodding her head once more, letting him know that she wanted him to join her in singing this time.
"It's been a long hard road without you by my side. Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried? You broke my mother's heart; you broke your children for life. It's not okay, but we're all right. I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes, but those were just a long lost memory of mine. Now, I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive, yeah, I'm still alive."
She slowly stopped playing there. "That's all that I had," She said after a second. "The verse that I sang, that's all that I had come up with before I read that letter of yours."
"It sounded really good," Kendall admitted.
"I don't see why you're so surprised," Riley said. "You guys are all musically inclined, and if you write from your heart, like that," she pointed at the notebook. "You can write any song that you want for your CD."
"I can't think of anything else that would go to the rest of the song though," Kendall said with a frown.
"Well, that's the point of songwriting," Riley said as she gently put his guitar on the floor. "I'm going to take a cue from you and say it's kind of like baseball." She pushed her pigtails over her shoulders. "You know how pitchers always look at the batter and then they look away for a moment, and then look back at the batter, yeah?" She cracked her knuckles. "Well, it's a focusing thing. If you focus, focus, focus on the pitcher and try to strike him out you won't. But if you focus on the picture look away for a moment to regroup and then take the pitch, you'll strike him out.
"So if you take a break from songwriting or music in general for a while, and then go back to it later, you'll be able to," Riley made the sound of a baseball bat hitting a baseball by clicking her tongue in the side of her mouth. "Knock it out of the park."
Kendall laughed. "Do I sound that annoying?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.
"You have no idea, Hockey-Head."
"Sit wherever," Kendall waved and arm towards the couches and arm chairs in the living room. He was embarrassed for a moment, knowing that her house and apartment were probably a lot better looking than his house was. They had done pretty well with his mother's waitressing job and his job at Sherwood's. But having lived in the PalmWoods for so long and feeling like LA was his home, he was starting to notice how his life had changed. "Do you want something to drink?" He turned to Riley and then paused as he thought for a moment. "Well, actually, I think we only have water. Mom doesn't have a lot of soda around because Carlos and Katie love it and-"
"Water's fine," Riley said with a wave of her hand. She looked around the room as she lightly rubbed her right wrist. "I like your place," she added as she looked at the pictures that were hung up. "Looks to be the perfect size for you guys, not too big and not too small."
"Thanks," Kendall said as he walked to the kitchen and over to the refrigerator. "I like it just fine. I just didn't notice how plain it was since we got to the PalmWoods."
"Anyone that has a swirly slide in their apartment would say so," Riley said as she turned back towards the TV. She leaned forward and picked up a DVD case. "Jaws?" she asked, her eyebrows disappearing under the hair that fell into her face. "Huh, I've never seen it before." She turned the case around to read the back of the box.
"Really?" Kendall made a sound of amusement as he walked back into the living room and handed her a glass of water. "You've never seen Jaws?"
"I've been too busy to watch movies are regularly as I want," Riley explained. "So on the road we typically just choose something from Netflix and watch it on our laptops when we get the chance. When we're at Ronan's apartment we're always catching up on shows that we missed to watch movies, though we try to have a 'movie night' once a week." She shrugged. "I think we're some of the only people on the planet that haven't seen it before."
"Wait until you see the special effects," Kendall joked, starting to loosen up a little bit. He picked up the remote and started to go through the DVD menu options as well as the previews of the movie. He flopped down onto the couch and leaned back as the movie started. The movie wasn't as scary as he remembered it, but he couldn't help but notice that as the first shark attack came, Riley shrank back in her seat and briefly closed her eyes. "Can you believe how fake that-"Kendall stopped and looked at her. "Are your eyes closed?"
"No." Her eyes immediately snapped back open, though she was grimacing as the images on the TV continued to play. Her hands were twisting in her lap and she continuously raised her hand to brush her red strand of hair behind her ear as it continued to come lose.
"You're scared," Kendall stated, smiling.
"Am not, it's just a stupid movie." Riley twirled her red strand of hair around her finger. She tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing. "Though I'm not sure what'll actually get me back into the water now." She said as an afterthought.
"Do you want me to turn it off?" Kendall picked up the remote and held it in the air, his finger over the 'POWER' button.
"No." Riley dropped her hands to her lap and brought her feet up onto the couch.
A few minutes later, he said, "you can open your eyes now." Riley shifted in her seat, a scowl on her face. "You know that Spielberg directed this? I saw a documentary on him once. He was only twenty-something at the time, and it was the second film he directed. He wrote most of the-"
"Shut up, Kendork." Riley leaned forward, bringing her knee up to her chest. Now that the scary part was over she wanted to hear what was going on.
"Yes ma'am," Kendall chuckled to himself.
They finished the film in silence and Riley found herself wincing at several more scenes of the movie. When the credits rolled, Kendall kicked in his footrest and shut off the DVD player.
"Ay, it's gonna take me days before I go into the ocean again," Riley groaned, rubbing her hands over her face. "As an Aussie ya quickly learn that you share the water with all of the creatures that live in it, sharks included. The thought of me dipping my feet in any water that doesn't have a cement bottom is gonna kill me."
"I didn't know that you were such a chicken," Kendall remarked as he replaced the DVD into its box. He kept his head down so his hair casted a shadow over his face, but his curling lips gave him away that he wanted to start laughing.
"Shut up, Kendall!" Riley growled.
Kendall laughed. "You can pick the movie next time," he offered.
"Deal," Riley then rubbed her hands together, grinning evilly. "Maybe a romantic comedy…" Kendall groaned, tilting his head back. "You can close your eyes through the scary parts, you dag." She taunted.
"Chick flicks are scary all the way through." Kendall said in a lofty tone.
"Ha! I happen to know for a fact that you love chick flicks." Riley said, pointing at him, her eyes flashing. She looked at her watch and got up, stretching her arms over her head. "I got to get going back to the pub or Ronan's gonna freak."
"Pub?" Kendall repeated. He tried to think about what it could mean. "Pub….uh…."
"Hotel," Riley informed him. "Its slang for hotel, while on the flip-side, hotel if slang for a pub with beer."
"Right," Kendall said, feeling as if he would never catch on. "Hold on," he held up a finger. "I thought you said that you guys didn't have a curfew," Kendall reminded her as he walked her to the door. "At least, you made fun of us for Mom giving us a curfew on school nights."
"I don't," Riley agreed. "But he has a habit of waiting up to make sure that we get back ok." She gave an exaggerated sigh as she shrugged. Kendall opened the front door and she stepped outside "And considering he knows how much you bore me, I'm sure that he's waiting for the police to appear at the door."
Kendall laughed.
"Good to see that I put you in a better mood," Riley remarked, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. "That was the whole idea. Thanks for letting me hang out." She reached out her right hand, Kendall looked back at her. "Dude, you came up with this stupid handshake," she pointed out. Kendall smiled and put out his right first, pressing his knuckles against hers before the two of them twisted their wrists up and gave each other a thumbs up. "Later." She gave him the peace sign before turning on her heel and starting to walk back to the bus stop.
Behind her, Kendall mimicked the music from the movie that warned of an impending attack.
Riley didn't bother to turn around.
The staccato music continued, cutting through the darkness.
"Give it a rest, will ya?" Riley called.
Her only answer was a distant chuckle.
A/N: I hope that you guys liked the chapter, it seemed kind of weird to me, but I'm glad that it was finally put up. I had the idea for it for a while after listening to the song a bit and then looking at the two verses of the song. The next chapter will be up soon, only five left!
Cheers,
-Riles
