In response to an April Fools joke from the lovely Jakie (ladygalaxyj here on FFn, go check her stories if you have a minute, they're amazing!)


Drinking rum was a very, very bad idea. But it's Kathryn's bachelorette party, and the fact that it's taken so long for her and Frederick to finally tie the knot is reason enough to get knackered, according to the bride, so Regina indulges in a few cocktails as they bask in the gorgeous sunset of the first day of April.

Her drinks are all sweet and fruity and delicious, all laced with really strong rum that goes to her head instantly, has her giggling and guffawing in a very unqueenly manner, something she knows will haunt her in the morning, when she gets her wits back and realizes what a fool she made of herself.

Right now, however, right now everything is light and fun and absolutely hilarious, ever bad joke, every hiccup, hell, even Kathryn's atrocious singing with the karaoke machine is reason enough for Regina to laugh until she's out of breath, and when they start discussing possible pranks to play on the groom during the wedding, Regina snorts into her drink at every single suggestion, especially the one where Kathryn swears she'll break up with her true love at the altar, just to see his reaction.

She snickers her way up the front steps of her house when Emma drops her off later that night, still singing the wretched songs from the party and holding on to her door for balance while she fishes her keys out of her purse. It takes her a full fifteen minutes to get the proper key in the lock, and she marvels at how funny the door's creaking is when it opens, chortling as she stumbles inside.

Robin is at the foot of the stairs, looking at her with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face, and for some reason the idea of knocking that smirk right off becomes her main focus, gives her a fantastic idea that has her laughing some more. It's April Fools', after all.

"Robin, we need to talk," she says, trying to sound serious, and it appears she's managed it, because he frowns at her.

"Everything alright? Did something happen at the party?"

"The party was fine," she replies, and it takes all her strength to seem aloof, to appear detached and offhanded when all she wants is to giggle her way into his arms and grind herself on him, see if his lips taste as good as they did earlier, when he kissed her fervently as he dropped her off at Kathryn's and told her to have fun.

"Then what is it?" he asks, truly concerned now. And this is it, this is the moment.

"I think we should break up," she says, her tone cold.

"What?"

"I just feel like we're not compatible, we've fought so much to be together and now that we are I'm just… bored." She's slurred her words a bit at the end there, she's gonna have to keep to short, simple sentences if she wants to pull this off. Robin is walking down the stairs, reaching her in seconds, his hands holding her face as he looks at her.

"You don't mean it," he rasps, "you're drunk."

"I'm fine!" she snaps, making even herself flinch. Someone give her an Oscar already.

"Regina—"

"No, Robin, I'm done," she says, flipping her hair dramatically and turning away from him, almost tripping over her own feet and cursing her stupid heels for it.

It's only when she bends down to retrieve them that she hears Robin's labored breathing, looking up from her awkward crouch on the floor to find him wringing his hands together, frantically looking around, and there's a slight tremor in his lower lip, a glassy sparkle in his eyes, and it sobers her right up, realizing what she's done.

"Oh, Robin," she gasps, standing back up and walking closer, but he only pulls back.

"No, it's fine, if this is what you want, I'll… I'll abide by your wishes, milady."

"It's not what I want," she tells him, truly worried now that her silly prank and her stupid inebriated state have cost her the love of her life.

"I was joking, I'm sorry," she says as she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Regina, if you really want me to leave, I—"

"No, I don't want you to leave, I love you, I'm sorry," it's the first time she's actually voiced the sentiment to him, actually professed her feelings, and she realizes then why this is a genuine fear for him, why it was so easy for him to believe that she would want to leave him. All this time, it's been her who's needed his reassurances, never once has she thought he'd need hers in return.

"Look, I know I'm a bit too… simple for you," he starts, but she shakes her head urgently, grabs his face and brings his lips to hers, closing her eyes and sinking into the gentle press of his mouth against hers for a moment before she pulls back and looks into his eyes.

"I am very, very drunk," she admits, a hiccup escaping her as if to prove her statement, "I thought it would be funny… to mess with you for a bit. I didn't mean a single word I said, Robin, I'm so sorry."

"Really? Because I understand if—"

"No, you're it for me," she says adamantly, sighing when his forehead falls on hers.

"Maybe we should talk about this when you're sober," he offers, but she shakes her head again.

"I love you," she says again, "I don't ever want you to think that I could just… stop."

"Couldn't you, though? We've lost each other so many times, Regina, I keep thinking one of these days you just won't think I'm worth it anymore."

"Robin," she tries, but her voice breaks on his name, and there are tears building in her eyes now.

"You're royalty, have been your whole life, used to so much splendor, and I know you've never been interested in those things, but I still can't help but worry sometimes," he confesses, "that you'll wake up one day and realize you deserve far better than a common thief like me."

"Listen to me," she says, her voice sharp, "I'm a stupid, drunken mess of a woman at the moment, and tomorrow I will hate myself even more than I do now for what I've just done to you. I need you to understand that this is all I want. You are all I want, more than I ever thought I'd have."

"You mean that?" he asks, and she smiles as tears fall from her eyes.

"Of course I do," she answers, landing a kiss to his neck, another to the hinge of his jaw and finally one on his lips. "You are enough, Robin. I love you."

It seems now that she's said it, she can't stop, and this is not how she thought she would tell him, this is not how she thought this night would go at all, but she's glad she can reassure him, glad he seems to believe her when she whispers it again and kisses him hard, tasting his bottom lip with the tip of her tongue before he opens his mouth to her, tangles his tongue with hers.

"I love you, too," he says against her lips, and finally he smiles, tugging on her hand and taking her upstairs, where they prove to each other just how much they mean those words.