Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. You might be right about Robyn - she'll tell Cal what's wrong in this chapter. I'm sure Ethan will comfort Honey if he can!
Tanith Panic, Robyn has no reason to hate herself, but that won't necessarily stop her. I'm glad you enjoyed the puns. Thank you for your review.
Ethan wrapped his arms around Honey. "Don't cry, darling," he whispered. "I'm sure it's nothing you've done."
"How do you know?" asked Honey.
"Because I know you haven't done anything," Ethan said softly into her ear. "If we listen, I'm sure we'll find out."
"Ooh: eardropping, Dr Hardy?" said Honey.
"Eavesdropping. Yes. Exactly," said Ethan.
"Why don't you want to be a bridesmaid?" Cal was asking Robyn, his voice confused but very gentle.
"Because I'm going to look like a fat lump next to the others!" wailed Robyn.
"No, you won't!" said Cal. "You'll look beautiful."
Robyn sniffled. "But Louise and Lily and Rita and Zoe are so thin and gorgeous."
Cal rubbed her back. "And you're curvy and gorgeous. You're beautiful, Robyn. You're the kind of girl I want to cuddle up with. Not some stick insect who's all humeruses and patellas."
Robyn giggled faintly.
"What and what?" said Honey.
Ethan was frowning. "Humeri and patellae, Caleb," he said under his breath.
Honey tugged on his boxers, knowing that would get his attention. "What and what, Ethan?" she whispered.
"The humerus is the upper arm bone, which includes the elbow bone," said Ethan, showing her his own arm. "The patella is the bone at the front of the knee. Cal was saying he doesn't like girls who are all knees and elbows, but he was putting a clever medical spin on it."
"Oh!" said Honey, understanding now. "Like you do sometimes."
"Yes: exactly," said Ethan, smiling at her. "Only Caleb wasn't being nearly as clever as he thinks he was. He said 'humeruses and patellas', which is incorrect. The plural of humerus is humeri and the plural of patella is patellae."
"What?" said Honey.
"I'll explain later," whispered Ethan.
Cal was still being all sensitive and manly. "And you're not just beautiful outside, Robyn. You're beautiful inside too. I wouldn't swap you for any of those other bridesmaids. Or even for all four of them."
Honey gave Ethan an odd look. It sounded like her fiancé was grinding his teeth. That wasn't the kind of thing she expected from Ethan.
Robyn sniffed. "So I'm next on your list then, am I?"
"You're the only girl on my list," said Cal, with smouldering eyes. Honey tried not to laugh. He looked so silly.
Ethan muttered something she couldn't catch.
"Oh great: so you've already kissed the others and I'm the only one left?" said Robyn.
Cal looked genuinely horrified. "No! I just meant you're the only girl I want. I haven't had Louise or Rita or Zoe or even Lily properly, but I don't want them, Robyn. I only want you."
"Yeah, for tonight," said Robyn. "Lots of guys have wanted me for one night. But then there's the morning after."
"Oh, baby!" Cal held her tightly. "Okay. I'll tell you what's going to happening. If you agree, I mean. I'm going to drive you home and then kiss you if you'll let me and then I'm going to leave. Then I'll see you tomorrow at work and let you know what time I'm picking you up tomorrow evening." He looked slightly shy, but maybe it was a trick of the moonlight. "We could have lunch together too if you wanted. And meet up on our breaks. Then in the evening, I'll pick you up and take you to a really nice restaurant and then I'll take you home and kiss you if you'll let me and then I'll go home. The day after that, I'm probably working later than you, but if you're not too tired, I'll pick you up after I finish work and we'll go dancing. Then I'll take you home and kiss you if you let me and… you know the rest. Then the day after that, maybe you could come to my flat and I'll cook for you. I'm sure Ethan will be there too so there's no need to worry. And then-"
Honey was sighing romantically, but Ethan just looked annoyed.
"Yes, thank you for consulting me first, Caleb," he whispered. "I mean, it's not like I have a girlfriend of my own, is it?"
"You don't," said Honey.
Ethan's eyes widened. "I haven't got a girlfriend?"
Honey smiled at him. "Just a fiancée."
"Oh!" said Ethan, clearly relieved.
Honey kissed him lightly and then pinched his bottom because really, it would be a crime not to, considering where her hand was.
Ethan squeaked and both Cal and Robyn turned around.
"What was that?" said Robyn.
"An owl," said Cal. "A mating call, I think. Are you okay to be out here? I don't want you to get cold."
"I'm not cold," said Robyn.
Cal sighed. "I just hope I can remember it's too early to kiss you."
Ethan rolled his eyes.
Robyn looked up at Cal. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you. But I have to be sure I can trust you."
Cal sounded a bit sad. "I can understand that. But I hope you'll let me…" He kissed her forehead. "Don't worry. You're gorgeous and the other girls are nothing. Zoe's too old and Lily's too cold and Louise is too bitchy and Rita's too butch…"
Honey narrowed her eyes. "Hey, that's my bridesmaids he's insulting!"
"Rita isn't butch," said Robyn a bit reproachfully. "And Zoe's not really that old. And Louise is just… she stands up for herself. And I think Lily's really just shy."
Cal smiled. "They're all too everything as far as I'm concerned because they're not you, are they? And of course, they're much, much, much too bony." He shuddered quite realistically and made Robyn laugh.
"Are you all right?" Honey asked Ethan anxiously. He looked a bit sick.
"I'm fine," said Ethan quickly. "Don't worry."
"Are you sure you're not too cold?" said Cal anxiously, as Robyn shivered. "I'd be happy to stay out here with you all evening if that's what you want, but at least let me get you my coat."
Robyn shivered again as she considered. "Maybe I should go in. It is a bit cold."
"Okay, beautiful. We can continue this conversation indoors." Cal kissed her forehead and got up, holding out his hand. "Don't worry. You're great and you're beautiful and don't you forget it… and if you do forget it, tell me and I'll remind you."
They went back inside, hand in hand.
"You're brother's quite sweet really," said Honey dreamily. "I knew him and Robyn would be perfect."
"Yes… if you believe a word he says," said Ethan.
Honey looked at him in surprise. "You think it's just a line? He's just trying to get into her panties?"
"You know Cal and his panty lines," said Ethan grimly.
Honey pulled at his boxers suggestively. "To be honest, I know a lot more about yours."
"Oh, um… yes." He was blushing again.
"So how are we going to solve our problem then?" said Honey.
Ethan pursed his lips adorably in thought. "I think it would be much easier if we could see what we were doing."
"Okay, so do you want me to text Lily and ask her to bring us a torch?" said Honey. It wasn't a serious suggestion, but it was worth it for the way Ethan's eyes went wide in alarm, before realising she was joking. "Sorry. Did I nearly give you a heart attack?"
"No, you nearly gave me a cardiac arrest," said Ethan.
Honey looked confused. "What's the difference?"
"Oh, it's quite easy really," said Ethan. "A cardiac arrest is when the heart ceases to…"
Honey made a face.
Ethan stopped. "Oh. You don't actually want to know the answer do you?"
"Um… not really," admitted Honey. "At least, not now. There's other stuff I want to do."
Ethan smiled. "You're right. We really need to do something about your hand."
Honey moved her hand up and down. She did like the feel of Ethan's bottom. It was so smooth and it curved in all the right places. It was soft but firm. It was…
"Um… Honey," said Ethan, his face adorably pink. "Do you think you could maybe stop doing that, please?"
"Don't you like it?" said Honey.
"I think the problem is more that I like it a bit too much," said Ethan with a smile. "I just really need you to keep still for a minute. I'm sorry, but I need to think and you're making that rather difficult."
Honey thought about continuing with what she was doing, but she didn't want to shock Ethan too much - and if they were going to get out of this mess, they needed Ethan's brains.
"Okay," said Ethan. His cheeks were still flushed. "Here's my first idea. We could go to the loo and sort it out."
"Well, I'm not going in the men's!" said Honey. "You never know what you might see in there!" She looked at Ethan doubtfully. "But I don't suppose you'd be happy going in the ladies'"
"I think I'd be inclined to say no, I wouldn't," admitted Ethan. "Sorry."
"No, that's good," said Honey. "I think I'd have been quite upset if you said yes. But what are we going to do?" Her voice shook. "I thought it was quite funny at first. But now I can't go into my own engagement party!"
