Though we have managed to attain our goal and to help Uchi, I had a feeling that we had gained nothing at all. The principal got angry. We were punished and now, when we are not allowed to compete (just to present), nobody was enthusiastic about the performance anymore. It seems that today no matter of outcome, your mood would be down in any case. But at least we didn't spend the money that I took from father. The money that has cost my entire pride… Now that I didn't use them, it feels even more terrible. All the humiliation I went through was in vain. If so, why not using this money for personal purpose. I should do something, in order my humiliation to be justified.
I didn't notice how I reach the house. Even the road home, to day seemed way shorter. Usually it happens quite the opposite to me. I can walk only 15 minutes and it feels like I have walked hours. So where did I stop? I have to find a purpose how to spend the money so I won't feel so humiliated. When I came home, mother wasn't there, neither was Monica. With the last, it started to be habitually. Since she got adjusted to Tokyo, she can walk by herself. And in case she gets lost, she can always call her new-made boyfriend. Random thoughts were perturbing my mind, so I could not concentrate on something specific.
"So, how has it gone?" asked father.
"Everything is all right. We did not have to use your money." I said laconically, as I was not in the mood to go into details.
I entered in my room, still being bothered by thought that I will simply return the money, without defensing my humiliation.
"No way, I would never ever lower myself and take those money even if it is for the sake of 3D."
"And, why not?" I heard the voice behind my back that caused me to jump up.
"You scared me!"
"I asked you why not use the money to have fun together with your class?" asked dad.
"You don't know anything, so please restrain yourself from telling anything."
"Well, as far as I can understand, everything did not go the way it should. You saved the money, but something is still wrong."
"Yes, although Uchi is now safe, we got punished by the principal. As a result we can not participate in the competition and our performance …well we will just present it. That's all."
"That how it is. I bet no one is in the mood to continue with it?" Dad continued with the questions.
"Yes! And this is a huge problem. So please don't ask me anything anymore."
"In any case, I am not taking this money back, since you said you will work in summer and return them. As about this one think better how to spend them." With these words he walked out.
I decided not to think about it anymore. The next day when I went to school I was determined to propose them to use the money for our Christmas trip. However I was nervous, because I wasn't sure how they are going to react, especially some of them.
When I came in the classroom everybody were almost there. Kuma was trying to make everybody concentrate and rehearse.
"Hey!" I shouted.
Everybody turned toward me.
"What Kuroda, you have some remarks about our performance?" I was ironically asked.
I rolled my eyes.
"No, I just came up with an idea. The money…the money that we should have used for Uchi, why not spend them on our Christmas holiday, since we are punished to…to…well…this is the idea."
Silence hanged upon the room.
" It's your money! Spend them as you want! What it have to do with us!" Someone answered.
It was as difficult to talk to them as it always was.
"Absolutely not!" said Sawada. " We're grateful to you and your father , but we can't use this money." said Sawada.
"And why not? Kuma asked after a pause. These people want a Christmas trip. May be this will help them be more serious about the performance."
"Actually, I agree with Kuma. It is our last Christmas, it would be bad if we couldn't go because of some financial problems. And now the opportunity is just in front of us."
"Yes…and if we were allowed to participate in competition, it is not bound that we would win." Noda said.
"Hey, you doubt it?" shouted Kuma.
"This is not the point Kuma. What I think is that we have all deserved a bit of rest."
"True, actually! Hey Sawada I don't know what kind of relations you have with your father, but please don't make us refuse the opportunity to go to a vacation." Some of the guys said.
"Agree!"
"Absolutely!"
I was silently observing the happening around me. I hear somebody chuckling behind me.
"So you're asking why don't you get along with Shin? Well, let be honest, since you came you're always trying to mock down his authority. If I were him I would hate you."
I gave him a smirk like "What the hell are you talking about?" I would probably show my indignation in a louder form, if Sawada did not interfere.
"Fine! You can do as you consider it to be right! I have no right to tell you what to do." With these words he walked away.
"See. It seems that now we got on severe ties with him." Kuma said. "And all because of your ambition. Is it so difficult just to perform? For nothing in return?"
"Stop nagging and lecturing… Where is by the way Uchi, if you want us to rehears so much? We can not rehears without the main lead." Some of the boys answered back.
