A/N: Today marks two years of BOUND. In honor of that, I'm posting an extra chapter this week. Wish I had something cooler, but I hope you guys enjoy anyway. You can check my profile for previews of the next chapter and other extras whenever I feel like posting such. Thank you for two years. Wouldn't have made it this far without you.


Bound
Chapter 53: Intermission pt. 2—Rock Bottom

A Year and Three Months Later

I have been jittery today. It's a side effect from having all these plans for escape under my belt and not being able to go through with them that make me this way, I think as I pace my kitchen, careful to step over the loose floorboard every time I pass it. But soon. Soon, I will do everything I've planned.

Soon doesn't feel fast enough, though, and I feel an odd dizziness overwhelming me, so much so that I have to stop, leaning against my counter for support.

And then it happens.

My breath catches in my throat, darkness pulling me under, and I grit my teeth against the pain of not being able to breathe. I clutch at my chest, willing air to circulate through my lungs, trying to inhale and inhale and inhale. It doesn't work.

I can feel myself suffocating. I grip the kitchen counter, but my clammy hands slip. I gasp, clawing for support and, finally, my hand is able to grip the edge of the sink.

Oxygen suddenly slams back into my lungs, acid burning the back of my throat. I vomit into the sink. Coughing wildly, I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and shove the water on, washing my lunch down the pipes. As the coughing subsides, I rinse my hands with soap and turn off the water, then trudge to the bathroom to brush my teeth of the grime and my breath of the smell.

I push the bathroom door open with a slam, thinking of what has just happened. I don't know the cause of it. I'm sure I'm in perfect health. And these symptoms aren't of any sickness that I know of, but something tells me that it isn't an illness that caused the fit.

It was the bond.

I've been away from Sasuke for a year and a half and that obviously goes against the rules of the oath. I was to be with him and forever by his side, and at the moment, I'm the furthest thing from that.

My search and destroy plan for the oath is becoming more urgent, but I don't have any leads left. It isn't at my house. It isn't in Sasuke's house. And I haven't heard a goddamn thing from Rei. It's like the thing doesn't even exist, despite damning evidence of the contrary.

In the window, my face is pale, my hair matted with sweat. My lips are chapped and my breathing still comes out ragged. I close my eyes, hoping that I'm not looking as bad as my reflection suggested, though I know that I am.

The only thing I can do is deny.

.

A Year and Four Months Later

Neither my work at the Academy or my volunteer work at the hospital have been rigorous, but lately I've been coming home tired beyond comprehension and have had to takes sick days because my migraines have gotten so bad.

I can guess what's wrong with me.

With every step I take as I come home from the hospital early, the vibrations reverberate up my body and slam into my brain. My feet clomp against the cobblestoned streets before becoming shabby dirt paths as I cut into the area where my house is. It hurts to breathe, though I doubt that it's because of my lungs. By the time I reach my door, I'm gulping for air. Any oxygen I'm able to inhale just brings more pain. It makes me not want to breathe at all. Like my body knows what I'm thinking, I can feel my throat swelling up, blocking off my airways all together.

I fumble with the key to my house, wishing, for once, that someone lived with me so that I didn't have to bother with keys and locks. Hell, why did I bother with keys and locks at all? It isn't as though I have anything valuable to me in here.

When I'm finally able to get my door open, I burst in with a flourish. The door slams shut behind me as I kick off my sandals, a habit that I can't ignore, even at a time like this. My lungs are on the verge of collapsing. I don't think I can stand another minute without breathing.

My foot is still partly inside my sandals, so when I try to step forward, I trip. My skin slaps against the floorboards with a nasty sound. It's too cold, I think, but I'm burning up. I roll myself over so that I'm staring at the blank ceiling above me. My hair irritates the back of my neck. I'm gagging on each breath that enters my mouth and choking on every breath that tries to escape.

I squeeze my eyes shut, my head lolling to the side. I curls into fetal position, a knife twisting its way through my temple now. A quiet moan manages to squirm through my lips.

The clock on my wall ticks. Tick. Tick. Ticks.

[+]

Next month. I will absolutely try one of my plans next month. There is nothing else for me to do.

.

A Year and Five Months Later

I've been admittedly slow about going through with my escapades, but I realized I can't be irrational about this. Too many mistakes at once will result in my capture and I'll be sentenced to house arrest, and there's no way I'll be able to stand that again.

Over the course of the past month, I've been observing the perimeter of the village, taking note of when and where I might be able to slide through the village defenses easily. I talk about my plans offhandedly with Shikamaru, offering them as hypothetical situations, and take notes when he gives his opinion on them. When he asks me what these plans are about, I tell him it's a boy in my class who has an overactive imagination and I want to be able to give him insightful feedback the next day. I don't know if Shikamaru believes this, but he's willing enough to help me, and my plans end up sounding better than ever. I can only be grateful some of Shikamaru's common sense has rubbed off on me as I rewrite the plans to suit my techniques.

Mostly, I try to keep up the pretense that I am content with my life in Konoha, and that there is nothing I would like more than to stay here. In itself, that statement is true, but when I start to consider the conditions of my being here, my contentment evaporates quickly.

Today I start my first trial. I don't expect dissent from the village—mostly because they will be caught unawares, which will work to my advantage. In fact, this may end up being my only attempt. I've been complacent around the village; they can't be expecting anything like this from me.

At least, this is what I'm thinking as I'm being chased by a few Chuunin I recognize from hanging around the Academy too much.

I grit my teeth and glance over my shoulder to see if they're gaining on me, but it looks as though they're keeping their distance. I press on through the trees outside the village, cursing when the branches whap me in the face before I can push past them. I drop down the trees, trying my luck on the ground as the Nin soar past me overhead.

I give myself a moment to laugh before taking off to the West while the Nin continue momentarily onto the Northeast. I know what they think of me because of my affiliation. They expect me to go to the Sound Village, track down Sasuke and join up with him and Orochimaru. But I've told them once if I've told them a million times—I have no interest in aligning myself with such people.

There is a chance Rei has headed that way in an attempt to find a way to break the bond, but when I broke out of the village, I brushed the feather in my hair and something in my head just . . . clicked. Go West, it said. To the Sand. And so I, with my newfound trust in these spirits Rei held in such high regard, went West.

My feet kick up dust as I sprint through the trees, skidding turns and leaping over the roots what jut out from the ground. I hear the faint sounds of people calling my name and wonder if I shouldn't slow down so as to travel inconspicuously, but I know, given the resources the Leaf has access to, staying quiet won't help me lose the Nin on my trail.

I'm about to break through a thinning of trees when the pair of Nin who had been following me drop from above and cut me off. I lose speed for a second, groaning as it occurs to me that surrendering may be my only choice at this point. I laugh at my insecurity, wondering how a ninja could ever make it in this life when she doubts herself like that, so I barrel forward, regaining the speed and confidence I had lost when I saw them.

The Nin tense and I feel a slight pang of alarm when I see the weapons they hold in their hands. And then I feint to the left, make like I'm going to try to run around them. Their bodies are quick to respond to my movements, but wholly mistaken because at the last possible moment I jump, grabbing onto the lowest branch and swinging myself up, and then I'm running on the branches, right over their heads.

"Ren!" one of the Nin calls after me, and for a second I think I recognize his voice. Then I realize it doesn't matter because once I pass into the Wind Country, they will be unable to follow. That is, if they don't lose steam first. It's a three day trek to Sunagakure alone, after all. I've prepared for this trip with a few soldier pills, but I doubt these Nin considered the chase would go this far.

My breath hitches in my throat and I remember the pains from the month before. I can't let this go on. I'm tired as it is, and the sooner I'm alone, the better.

I shut my eyes, concentrating my chakra for a few moments, and upon opening my eyes, my vision is blurred by silky strings of vibrations that tighten and dance around each other. They nestle against me, slowly easing the air from my lungs until I send out a surge of chakra. The vibrations start to move in a flurry, eating up the chakra I'm releasing until they cluster around my body. I turn around, my feet digging into the branch below me and bringing me to a stop. It catches the approaching Nin off guard and they stop too, hands wrapped tightly around knives.

"Giving up?" one of them asks.

"As if," I scoff, whirling a string of vibrations around my fingers and sharpening them. They buzz against my skin, numbing my extremities, and when the man in front of me lunges, I jerk quickly to the side, avoiding his diving kunai and knocking him to the ground with a kick to his back.

His partner comes at me, unsheathing her short sword and slashing at me with extreme speed, finally cornering me against the trunk of the tree. Without wasting a moment, she makes to incapacitate me, bringing her blade straight across to injure my arm, but I bring up my vibrations and use it to counter the blade.

The vibrations slip right through the metal, and the girl is smirking until her attack follows through, but it quickly falters when I'm still uninjured. She stares, wide-eyed at her severed blade, half of which rests in my hand, and is stunned enough to give me an opening.

I swing up my foot, landing a hit right in her jaw and sending her flying back toward her partner, who is on his feet again and catches her easily. They don't waver; he tosses her back my way and she has new weapons in her hands: two thick batons that I doubt my vibrations will be able to cut through.

I drop out of the tree and she flies over my head. Her partner anticipates my movements though and is there to meet me with a flying kunai to which an explosive is attached. I tsk in annoyance, tossing the blade half I'd taken from the girl and tossing it at the kunai to knock it off course. It whirls into the nearby bushes and I'm too distracted blocking my eyes from the fire that plumes from the explosion to notice the girl come up behind me and tackle me to the ground.

She has her arms around my neck in seconds, and I'm struggling against her, rolling onto my back and slamming my head into hers to knock her off of me, but she's surprisingly durable. I resort to plunging my teeth into her forearm, an undignified move for a shinobi, but one that gets me free and I'm up on my feet and running—

Straight into the chest of the other Nin who'd been following me.

He grabs me, pinning my arms to my sides, and lets out a booming, haughty laugh. "Got you, Ren-chan," he says, his breath causing me to gag. "You know we can't let you get away, given the information you have for us."

"What are you talking about?" I groan, fidgeting in his grip. He squeezes me tighter and I gasp as my lungs seem to fold in on themselves.

"Kakashi says you insist your bond with the Uchiha has been severed ever since Sasuke left," he says, looking down his nose at me. "Your actions today seem to suggest otherwise, though. You're lying about still be connected to the Uchiha," he sneers, narrowing his eyes at me when I give him a clueless look, "aren't you? That's why you ran today. Can't stand being away from your lord for so long, can you?"

I am stunned by this man's idiocy. I get pass that quickly though and say, "Go to hell," before kicking up my feet, aiming right for his tender spot, and hitting dead on. He grunts, doubles over, and drops me on my back, where I roll to standing and jump back into the trees as his partner makes to apprehend me.

But she's clever this time and doesn't try to close the distance between us, instead throwing a shuriken at my ankles and tripping me up with a wire that's tied to it. I fall out of the tree gracelessly, landing on my face and sputtering out the dirt that gets in my mouth. I groan and shake my head to clear the dizziness that sets in, although that only seems to make it worse. Rubbing my temples, I wonder if I could be concussed, when a shadow looms over me and I freeze. Literally.

I groan again, and if I could hang my head I would. Instead, Shikamaru kneels down in front of me, scowling as he takes up the same stance as me. He cocks his head to the side and I'm compelled to do the same as he says, "What are you doing, Ren?"

"Just . . . exercising," I say with a sheepish grin, trying my hardest to fight Shikamaru's hold on me even though I know it's useless since I'm the one he trained with to make his shadow's grip this strong. "What's up with you, Shika?"

Shikamaru is not amused by my answer, instead heaving us up to our feet as the two Nin who had been chasing me flank him, their frowns so heavy that, when the next breeze comes by, I'm sure their faces will be stuck like that.

"Sorry to bother you, Shikamaru-kun," the man says, patting Shikamaru so roughly on the shoulder that Shikamaru, for a second, looks more put off by the man's presence than mine. The man clears his throat, shifting on his feet and wincing, which serves to make me smirk.

Shikamaru gives me a pointed look as the man rambles on about having an attack planned to take me down before he showed up. Shikamaru interrupts, "You guys can go on ahead if you want. I'll take care of this."

The man scowls at Shikamaru as though he can't stand losing credit for this capture. His partner nudges him and motions for them to do as Shikamaru says, and reluctantly the man bounds off behind his partner without a word, leaving Shikamaru and me alone. Shikamaru, in the meantime, doesn't lose his hold on me, either with his shadow or with his gaze. It's unnerving, but being that I'm stuck in his shadow capture, I can't avoid it.

"So," I start. "How's it going?"

"Don't," he says, massaging his brow, and I mimic. Incidentally, we also release heavy sighs at the same time. I almost laugh at the gesture, but then Shikamaru glares at me like I did it on purpose, and I end up stuttering to deny it instead.

"What are you doing out here?" Shikamaru asks after my sputtering dies down. "I'm on an herb run for my dad and next thing I know I'm suddenly barraged by two Nin who say they're in pursuit of a Nin gone rogue by the name of Kagiru Ren."

"They were dramatizing it," I say. "You saw how offended that guy got when you took his trophy from him—not saying that I am an object to be won, but. Anyway, what's your dad need the herbs for? Is he developing—"

I'm silenced by the look Shikamaru shoots me, and I sigh again. "Yikes," I say, and if I could have, I would have reached up to brush the feather in my hair to see if it had some smart ideas to get me out of this mess. "Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I was going to go back. Things just got messy when I tried to explain to the guards I wanted to go on a walk. I ended up having to go to some extreme measures to get out, and that's it, all right?"

Shikamaru purses his lips as he scrutinizes me, and before long I feel my muscles easing up. His shadow shrinks back, and we are wholly our own person once again, but for a moment I wish he would have kept me under his influence. Then maybe I wouldn't have to resort to these measures. I'd have all his liberties while retaining none of my own, and losing all my freedoms—or lack thereof—has never sounded better.

"You couldn't have gone for a walk inside the village?" he says, and I shrug.

"It was one of those things," I say. "You know. Just had to do it. Or maybe you have no idea," I say when he quirks his brow. "But you'll know it one day, Shikamaru. That impulsive, no-one-is-going-to-go-with-a-thing-I-say-but-I-know-this-is-right-and-I-know-this-is-going-to-get-me-somewhere-or-get-me-what-I-want-slash-need feeling that is so inexplicable that you're just going to do it because you'll know it's right. Trust me. Everyone feels it at some point."

Like Naruto and Sakura's attitude toward Sasuke and bringing him home, and Sasuke's attitude toward getting his power and his vengeance at the cost of everything and anything. Like my incessant desire to run away even though I know the bond is being taken care of for me and I could have every happiness if I stayed in Konoha. Kind of like that.

"Whatever," Shikamaru says, scowling still. "Let's get you back to the village before those guys come back and things become more troublesome. We'll see then what this impulse has done to further ruin your reputation with the Council."

I grimace at the realization of what repercussions this impulse will in fact have on my already terrible relationship with the village elders and Tsunade. I drag my hand down my face, grumbling obscenities under my breath as Shikamaru takes my elbow and guides me back to the village at an easy pace.

[+]

My first impression of the High Council: They are a bunch of snobbish old men who have let their ranks get to their heads and eat away their rationality like parasites. They make me speak for my actions and explain why, if the bond really is severed, I had tried to run after Sasuke today.

"I'm telling you," I say, exasperated. "I wasn't going to Sasuke. Why would I after this long? If I really wanted to be with him, I would have left at the same time he did, if not later, when I went to retrieve Naruto along with the Med Corps I'd been sent out with. For the village High Council, you're all very—"

I cut off when Shikaku gives me a cautionary glance and clear my throat. I'd forgotten he's on the council, but I'm glad he is because he saves me from making my situation worse and defends me, saying, "While Ren has somewhat of an attitude problem, she's loyal. My son has been best friends with her for years; I've seen how Ren is, how she can truly be, and behind her . . . abrasive exterior, she is kind-hearted. She cares for this village as much as any of us."

One of the other council members scoffs, and says, "Listen, I don't know why we're being called on to talk about this in the first place. We're the village High Council. We have more important matters to deal with than some brat who doesn't have any regard for her village's safety. She's a child. It can't and didn't take much to apprehend her, from what the shinobi pursuing her said."

I scoff, wondering what tale that stupid guardsmen had made to glorify himself. My scoff is mistaken for one of indignation however and the council collectively glares at me.

The man continues, "I say we lock her up, have someone assigned to watch her every move, and leave it at that. Case dismissed?"

"You want to have her arrested after one infraction?" Shikaku asks. "That seems unreasonable."

"Consider the circumstances," the man argues, pounding his fist on the table. "Today, she demonstrated that she is a flight risk. Given her relationship with the Uchiha, and the Uchiha's relationship with both Akatsuki and Orochimaru, who's to say she won't join right up with them if she manages to get out of this village?"

"What would happen, anyway, if I joined up with either?" I retort, and Shikaku lets out a heavy sigh, a subtle hint that I shouldn't be talking hypothetically about these particular subjects, but whatever. I'm already out of the council's favor.

"I don't know any village secrets," I say. "I haven't been let around any, even since I've been promoted. In fact, it's a wonder you allowed me to be promoted at all! But I digress. Before you consider my relationship with the Uchiha and, consequently, Orochimaru and Akatsuki, you should consider my relationship with the people here. I hold the people and shinobi of Konoha in very high regard," I say, meeting the eyes of each council member to make my point clear. "They have shown me every possible kindness, and they have never abandoned me once, no matter what kind of adversity we faced. Why would I turn my back on people like that in favor of the Uchiha, one who massacred my family and the other who broke the hearts of and then almost killed my best friends!"

The glares of the Council waver, but the man who had been arguing against me remains adamant. He grumbles under his breath, something about "disrespectful child" who "doesn't understand the severity of the matter", and I throw up my hands in deference and say, "Do whatever you like. I don't care. Throw me into prison or lock me up in my house—if that's what it takes to show you that I'm loyal to this village, fine. Fine. But d'you ever hear those stories about teenagers who are abhorrently suppressed in their childhood and then start rebelling and causing a mass amount of mayhem? Keep that in mind when you think of me."

That's a poorly concealed threat on my part, but I don't give a damn. I'll continue to do what I like until I get some concessions, which, by the looks of things, won't be happening soon. So I walk out on them.

[+]

The Council lets me off easy. It doesn't much matter to me why or if they recognized how dedicated I am to the village. So far as I can tell, they've abandoned me as badly as Sasuke had. I am a shinobi without a village without even having to defect. What a wonder.

I go home and plan.