Disclaimer: Not mine as usual.

A/N: hope you like the newest chapter, please keep on reading i promise things will start getting better for Natalie and Ronon.

Chapter fifty-two

When Natalie woke up the next day she felt two small bodied pressed up against her sides, looking down at herself she smiled when she saw Asia and Rora both squeezed onto the small space of the bed. Smiling to herself, Natalie leaned down and pressed a kiss to both of her nieces' foreheads and just stared at them and imagined what they would both look like when they got older, how their attitudes, likes, dislikes and everything in between would change over the years. Natalie wouldn't be able to see those things though, all because of one bite from a stupid Krataken bug.

"Don't," a quiet but gruff voice said from besides her.

Looking over Natalie saw that Ronon was awake and looking at her, she could tell there was a tinge of a smile on his lips – more then likely he was amused at the fact that she had two little monsters plastered to her sides.

"Don't what?" Natalie asked looking at him with an arched brow.

Ronon gave a sigh and sat up in the chair he slept in, "Don't think about it." he told her, he knew exactly what she had been thinking about before he interrupted her.

When he said that Natalie gave him a sad smile and then looked down at Asia and Rora, "I can't help it. I'm going to miss out on so much, not just their lives but everyone's." she said and ran her hands through her hair. "I won't get to see Michie get married, I won't be able to see my mom again, I wont get to see my friends get married and have kids. I won't be able to be with you." she said blinking rapidly, trying to stop herself from crying but a few tears escaped.

Ronon lifted his hand to cup Natalie's face, wiping away the tears that were falling down her face. It was torture for Ronon being unable to do anything to help Natalie, to make her feel better and to change what has happened but he knew that there was nothing he could do. The only thing he really could do was be there for Natalie throughout this whole ordeal. Just as Ronon was about to say something to Natalie to comfort her there was a knock on the door, it slid open and in walked Natalie's sister along with Becky and Lorne.

Becky looked between the two hesitantly, "We're not interrupting something are we?" she asked as Ronon pulled away from Natalie and sat back in his chair.

"Nothing that Ronon and I haven't talked about before," Natalie said as she gave a barely convincing smile to Becky and the others. "What's going on?"

Michie gave a slight smile, "Just wanted to come and see how you two managed with the girls last night." she said to them. "Hopefully they weren't too much trouble, I know how overwhelming they can be. Especially with everything else that is going on." she said looking at her sister and Ronon, but mainly Natalie.

"They were fine." Ronon said to her and then turned to where Lorne was and nodded at him in greeting. "Lorne."

"Ronon," Lorne responded back. "I was wondering if you wanted to go and spar. It;'s been a while since either of us have sparred really." he said.

For a few moments Ronon considered going for a spar, he really did want to go and release some tension and anger but he didn't want to leave Natalie's side. "Not interested." he stated deeply and crossed his arms and looked back over at Natalie who gave him a look when he said that.

"Ronon," Natalie said meaningfully. "Go and spar for a while. You need it trust me. I'm starting to think that you are purposely scaring people who come in here out of boredom."

Becky smirked, "And he didn't do that before?" she questioned rhetorically.

At that Natalie gave her friend a pointed look to which Becky gave her a sheepish smile in apology.

"I won't leave you." Ronon said stubbornly and crossed his arms defiantly.

Natalie sighed when she saw him do that, "Ronon you need to leave this room and go out and release some energy. Usually you and I have a more fun way to do that but sadly we are unable to do the tango in bed, so you are going to have to improvise and I think sparring with Lorne or anyone else really is a good second choice." she said to him, the second Natalie said tango in bed both Becky and Michie started snickering in amusement.

Ronon glanced at her and shook his head, "No."

"Yes," Natalie responded defiantly. "Besides if you don't keep your strength up who is going to save McKay when he talks himself into some kind of trouble and ends up needing to be saved?" she questioned.

"I actually have to save him?" he asked.

In response to that comment Natalie laughed and nodded, "Yes you have to save him, as annoying as he is we do need him alive here on Atlantis." she told him.

Sighing in resignation Ronon nodded, "Fine." he said to her before he turned towards where Lorne was. "Lets go." he said and walked out of the room.

"See you later I guess." Lorne said to Natalie with a wave and quickly walked after Ronon.

Michie stared after where Ronon and Lorne had left and then turned back to her sister, "He seems to be in a mood." she stated and sad in the chair that Ronon had recently vacated.

Natalie gave a sigh and nodded, "Yeah Ronon's been awfully protective lately, not wanting to leave my side for nothing." she said with a half annoyed tone of voice and half amused.

"I don't think I've ever seen him willingly leave this room," Becky said nodding in agreement to Natalie's statement. "Most of the time Natalie has to threaten Ronon to make him leave, even if it is to get some food and shower. Because lets be serious here, he doesn't care if he smells or anything like that, as long as he can stay with Natalie."

When Becky said that Natalie shook her head, "You know I don't know whether I should be amused that you take notice of my boyfriends hygiene or creeped out." she said staring at her friend.

"I vote for amused." Becky said to her with a playful smile on her face.

Natalie smiled in return, "Still undecided, I'll let keep you up to date on that." she said jokingly.

Becky nodded, "Sounds good to me."

During this whole banter between the two Michie was staring at Becky and Natalie like they had gone completely insane, "You two are such dorks, seriously." she said shaking her head.

In response to that Becky smirked, "Someone's jealous." she sing songed to her.

Michie rolled her eyes, "Whatever," she said and then looked at her two daughters and then over at Becky. "Think you can do me a favor?"

"Sure, no problem." Becky said to her.

Michie gave her a thankful look, "Would you mind taking the girls to get some breakfast so that I can talk to Natalie?" she asked.

At that Becky nodded, "Would I mind? Come on who can pass up hanging out with those two awesome little girls." she said with a playful smile.

Once Asia and Rora were woken up and changed into a new set of clothes they headed to the mess hall with Becky; they did whine and argue at first at not being able to stay with their mom and aunt but Becky bribed them with going to see Rodney who had computers they could play with. Poor Rodney was going to be ambushed by two stubborn children.

Turning towards her older sister Natalie looked at Michie curiously, "So what's up? What do you want to talk about?" she asked with a raised brow.

"Do I need a reason to spend alone time with you?" Michie asked her. "We didn't get that much time to do the sister thing yesterday." she said to her.

Hearing that Natalie looked at her sister with an amused smile, "Michie we talked for three straight hours. That was more than enough time to get each other up to date on our lives and there was room for a little more too." she told her and looked at her seriously. "So really, what's up Michie?"

Michie didn't say anything for a few moments, she just sat in the chair besides Natalie's bed and stared at her. Taking in everything that her sister was, her looks, her mannerisms, her facial expressions – just, everything.

"I remember when you were first born," Michie said with a half amused smile. "Mom said we were going somewhere special and I immediately thought we were going to go and get ice cream." she said which made the both of them laugh. "Instead we ended up at a hospital, both dad and I ended up falling asleep in the waiting room when you were born." she said to her.

Natalie smiled at that but didn't say anything, she just let her sister keep on talking.

"When I saw you for the first time and mom and dad told me that you were a girl I immediately told them that I wanted a baby brother not a sister," Michie stated with a shake of her head at the memory. "I didn't want to take you home, I wanted ot leave you at the hospital. But they said I could play dress up with you when you were older. So I decided if I could do that then we could take you home."

When Michie said that Natalie couldn't help but laugh, "You barely ever played dress up with me." she said to her.

Michie smiled at that, "Yeah, someone was too stubborn to let me play dress up with them and would whine and cry the whole time." she said giving Natalie a knowing look. "But even so, you are the best sister anyone could ask for. You've done so much for me over the years, I can't tell you how much I appreciate all that you've done." she said teary eyed and pulled her sister in for a hug.

"You're my sister Michelle," Natalie said to her as if it should be obvious. "I love you and I would do anything for you, it's what sisters are for. Living with you and helping you and Pete with Asia was fun and one of the best times of my life." she said with a serene smile on her face and let go of Michie. "I wouldn't change any of it. Even if the three of us did end up wanting to rip out each others throats a lot of the time." she said with a laugh.

At that Michie laughed, "Don't you mean you and I wanted to, we both know Pete hates confrontation." she stated.

"Yeah I 'spose," Natalie said with a laugh, but then looked at Michie seriously. "You didn't tell mom or Pete about this place or that I'm dying did you?" she questioned.

Michie immediately shook her head, "No, of course not. Besides Jack O'Neill was with me the whole time so he made sure I didn't say anything when I was making excuses for being gone for so long." she told her. "I told mom me and the girls were invited on a camping trip and-"

"A camping trip?" Natalie snorted in amusement. "You hate camping, you hate having to pee outdoors and you hate putting up tents."

"That's besides the point," Michie said to her. "The point is, that mom believed and that's what counts." she said to her.

Natalie shrugged, "I guess so, I just can't believe that she actually believed that." she said with a shake of her head. "What did you tell Pete? I know he wouldn't buy the whole camping trip thing. He knows you better then that."

"Well I told him you were back for a really short visit and me, you and the girls were going on a little vacation while you were back and that we would be out of contact for a while." Michie told her.

In response to that Natalie nodded, as much as she would love to see her mom and her soon to be brother-in-law she knew she couldn't. She knew that they would keep Atlantis a secret but Stargate Command usually wanted a very few select amount of people to know about it, hell they didn't want anyone who didn't work for them to know about it. It was a long shot if they would have let Michie come to Atlantis.

"So," Natalie said looking at her sister expectantly. "Do you have everything ready for the wedding?" she asked curiously.

Michie stared at her sister for a while, as if she was speaking a completely different language to her. "What?" she asked.

"You, Pete, getting married." Natalie said to her slowly. "Ringing any bells." she said. "I know we didn't get to talk about it much last night."

When Natalie said that Michie groaned, "Nat, I don't even know if I want to get married anymore." she told her as she looked at her sadly. "I told you this last night Natalie, with everything that is going on I just-"

"No!" Natalie said loudly, cutting of what Michie was about to say. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence Michelle Kay Vance!" she said in warning. "You and Pete love each other, you two have been to get for eleven years. It is about time that you guys get married."

Michelle shook her head when Natalie said that, "I can't Natalie. It won't be the same without you there. You need to be in my wedding, not one of the people we remember that isn't there to share it with us." she said her voice cracking a bit. "You just have to get better so that you can make it Natalie, or else I won't get married."

Sighing Natalie looked at her sister as calmly as she could, "Michie you got to stop thinking like that, it won't happen. I am not going to get better and be able to miraculously make it to your wedding." she said to her sadly. "You have no idea how badly I wish I could go to your wedding and see you and Pete finally get married, see Asia and Rora walk down the aisle in their adorable flower girl dresses. It would have been beautiful."

"How are you not freaking out over all of this Natalie!" Michie finally yelled and stood up from her chair and began to pace around the room. "You aren't crying, yelling out, screaming, blaming anyone or anything really. You are acting like this is just some kind of everyday occurrence." she said and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "You do understand that you are dying don't you?"

Natalie glared at her sister when she said that, "Of course I do. I'm not fucking stupid." she yelled at her in anger. "Do you think I want to die, do you think I want to miss out on so many things. I want to stay here Michie, I want to live and see Asia and Rora grow up, I want to see you get married. I want to see Asia and Rora go to high school. I want to see my friends get married and have kids of their own." she said heart-brokenly.

Taking a deep, calming breath Natalie looked up at her sister, "I've yelled, I've screamed and cried and taken all of my anger over this whole thing on my friends and on Ronon but there is nothing that we can do to change what is happening Michie. There really isn't." she said with a sad smile. "Ronon has been with me every single day, taking all of my anger and sadness and never once did he yell at me for being a bitch to him. I love Ronon, Michie, I love him more than anything else in this life. I'd marry him, Ronon is the man that I would actually willingly walk down the aisle for and you and I both know how I'm not really into the whole marriage thing. That I would rather live happily in sin for the rest of my life."

Michie looked at her sister and then dropped back down into the chair she had been siting in before, "I'm sorry Natalie, I just don't get how you can not be yelling and crying all of the time over what is happening. How you can be so aloof about all of this." she said to her.

"There's nothing I can do to change what's happening," Natalie said tight lipped. "What's the point in crying twenty-four seven if it's not going to change anything." she said to her.

With that said both Natalie and Michie got quiet neither having much else to say for the time being, Michie now understood why Natalie was so calm and understanding over everything that was happening to her. Michie had to admit, Natalie's reasoning did make sense but it didn't mean that she had to like it.

_ ~~ _ ~~ Atlantis: Night Time ~ _ ~~ ~_ ~_ ~_~ _~ _~_~_

It was night time, and this time around Natalie and Ronon were left alone, the girls did ask to stay with them again but Michie had managed to convince them that bot Natalie and Ronon needed some alone time. Alone time was something that both Ronon and Natalie definitely needed at the moment; earlier in the day there had been a scare when Emilia and Becky were visiting with Natalie. Natalie had been talking when suddenly she started to have problems with her breathing, she was gasping for breath and coughing a lot to try and get oxygen into her lungs but none of that was working. Carson and Keller had managed to get Natalie breathing, but the result of her needing help was because her other organs were starting to give up and shut down.

"I'm not leaving you again," Ronon said fiercely as he was holding onto Natalie's hand.

Natalie gave him a look when he said that, "Ronon I already told you that it wasn't your fault this happened, I'm getting sicker and things are starting to shut down. We were warned that this would happen." she told him with a soft smile as she caressed the side of Ronon's face.

Ronon shook his head and took on a dark look on his face, "I should have been here."

"Ronon, I already told you it's not your fault that this happened." Natalie said with a heavy sigh, she was starting to get sick of repeating herself all of the time.

"If I would have been here-" Ronon started but was cut off by Natalie.

"Nothing would have been different," Natalie said looking at him seriously. "I'm still dying and my body is still going to start shutting down on me. We're going to have to get used to it." she said and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to will away the tears.

Like Natalie told her sister, she has accepted what was going to happen and she didn't see the point of getting angry over it anymore but when it was just her and Ronon it was like everything just happened. She's angry, sad, depressed and so many other things all at once over the fact that she is dying and there is nothing she can do to stop it.

Seeing how emotional Natalie was getting over talking about what happened earlier in the day Ronon decided to drop the subject for now, it wasn't important enough to argue over.

Ronon gently moved his hand to cup Natalie's that was still on his face, "I'm sorry, we won't talk about it anymore." he said as he moved Natalie's hand and kissed the palm of it before holding it gently on top of her bed.

"I love you," Natalie said to Ronon as she just looked up into his deep, beautiful eyes.

"I love you." Ronon said back and gave a genuine smile.

Taking a deep, labored breath Natalie looked at Ronon hesitantly, not sure how he was going to react to her next question. "Ronon? Can I ask you something?" she asked him carefully.

"Yes, you know you can." he told her.

"Can you tell me about her?" Natalie asked quietly, looking away from Ronon not wanting to know if he was angry for her asking such a personal question. "About the woman you lost on Sateda."

Ronon took in a sharp breath when Natalie asked him that, "Natalie I-"

"Please Ronon, I need to know." Natalie said to him. "She was apart of you for a long time. I want to know about that part of your life." she told him and looked him straight in the eye.

Finally after a few moments Ronon nodded in agreement, "Her name was Melena, we had known each other since we were kids – we basically grew up together. Melena was taller than you by five or so inches, her eyes were a dark green and she had light brown hair." he said recalling the painful memory of his first love. "Melena cared about people, she worked in a hospital with all of the kids. When the wraith came, I sold everything we owned to be sure that she would be able to get off of the planet safely but she refused to go, Melena wanted to stay behind and help all of the injured."

Ronon shook his head at that, "I went to the hospital and tried to convince Melena to leave and get off of Sateda but before I was able to convince her the wraith hit the hospital and killed her right in front of me." he said and looked at Natalie sadly. "They shot at the hospital purposely."

When Ronon finished saying that Natalie looked at him sympathetically, she understood what it was like to see someone you care about being killed right in front of your eyes – when James died it killed her, it may not be the exact same thing as Ronon seeing Melena die but it was just as bad and hard to see.

"How long were you two together?" Natalie asked curiously.

"Since we were sixteen, so four years in all." Ronon said and then looked over at Natalie. "I never thought that I would fall in love again, but then I met you. You're everything to me." he told her with emotion in his voice.

When Ronon said that Natalie looked at him with a pined expression on her face, she couldn't even begin to understand what he was going through now. First he lost Melena almost ten years ago to the wraith and now he was losing her to some incurable disease.

"Melena must have been an amazing person, very caring." Natalie said to him.

Ronon nodded, "She was."

"Can you tell me about your family?" Natalie asked, she knew talking about Melena was reminding Ronon of his past as a runner and of the fact that Natalie was dying the fact that he was still trying to deny was happening.

"My family?" Ronon asked looking at her.

At that Natalie nodded, "Yes, your parents, if you had any siblings." she said to him with a hopefully smile.

When Natalie said that Ronon gave a small smile, "My father's name was Tromo, he was an engineer for the military and my mother, her name was Evolet. My mother was very kind and loving and was a seamstress." he said, starting to describe them to her. "They were both hard working people, like most Satedan's were. They inspired me, taught me and my sister to believe in ourselves and to be strong no matter what."

"Sister?" Natalie questioned.

Ronon nodded, "Yes, Daenerys, she was four years younger than me. When the wraith came she was sixteen years old, barely had half a chance of surviving." he told her sadly, just imagining what her sister had to go through. "She was a fighter though, I don't doubt that she took down at least a wraith or two."

"It isn't your fault you know," Natalie said to him softly. "What happened to Melena and Daenerys."

He shook his head at that, "I was supposed to protect them, I was supposed to protect Daenerys." Ronon told her. "I was her older brother, it was my job to protect her and keep her safe."

Natalie gently squeezed Ronon's hand, "The fact that she had a brother like you Ronon, was enough to keep her strong and realize that she needed to fight if she wanted to survive," she told him. "And Melena, Melena did what she thought she needed to do. Helping the injured was in her nature."

For the rest of the night until Natalie fell asleep at least the two talked about life; things that they've done and enjoyed, their friends and family and basically just enjoying being with one and another for the time being. There's no telling how much longer it is that Natalie has left, she may have a few weeks left or only a few days so Ronon is going to spend as much time as humanly possible with Natalie as he can.

A/N: hope you liked it, review please. I promise things will start lookingbetter soon.