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Sorry for the delay but I've had writer's block. I hope it's over now. *sigh*
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''Regrets and...''
Chapter 50.
Gibbs sat on the recliner next to Tony's bed. The room was dimly lit by the light coming from the window and silent except for DiNozzo's heartbeat.
To eyes that didn't know Tony, it looked like he was sleeping, but Gibbs knew better. The younger man was wide awake but deep in concentration.
"You're supposed to be sleeping, DiNozzo," he murmured and saw a small smile appear on Tony's face. "Stop thinking."
"Can't," Tony whispered.
"Why?"
"Do you think things would have been different if I hadn't gone to Ziva's apartment that night?"
"Ya mean for Rivkin or between you and Ziva?"
"Both."
"Yes. Things would have been different," Gibbs answered honestly.
"I screwed up," Tony sighed, misunderstanding his boss' words.
The team leader rubbed his face with his hands and sighed in frustration. He let his head fall against the headrest and said, "Did you go to Ziva's place to kill Rivkin?"
"No!"
"Did you kill him out of jealousy or anger?"
"Absolutely not! He attacked me! I asked him to stop—more than once—but he didn't listen. I fired because he was going to kill me," Tony's voice was filled with pain and anger.
"When you confronted Ziva in Israel, did you think she was going to attack you?"
"No. I was trying to make her understand the truth behind Rivkin's death and," he swallowed hard, "I wanted her to vent so then she'd listen to reason."
"You thought she was going to fight you and maybe insult you, but not attack you and point a loaded gun at you, right?"
"Yes," Tony exhaled loudly.
"You've answered your own question, DiNozzo," Gibbs smirked.
"Did I?" Tony turned to him.
"I hope you're just groggy from the painkillers and sleeping pills because otherwise I'd need to fire you."
"WHAT?! Why?" Tony didn't jump out of the bed only because he was too weak and in too much pain to do so.
"Because my SFA would know that what happened to Rivkin and Ziva, it happened because of their own decisions. They both chose to attack you and Ziva freely chose to lie and withhold information. No one forced them. You just did your job, Tony. And you did it damn well."
The younger man fell silent as he let Gibbs' words sink in. The older man could feel Tony struggle to overcome his guilt and to believe his boss' words.
"You made just one mistake," Gibbs whispered.
"Yeah?"
"The night you tried to give Ziva the chance to explain what you and Abby found on her computer. You treated her like a friend even though you knew she betrayed our trust and friendship."
After Tony nodded his agreement, Gibbs added, "But I made a bigger mistake."
"What?"
"I took her back on the team without consulting you and..." the former Marine swallowed hard to keep his anger under control. "I let her manipulate me," he admitted, barely audible.
"How so?" Tony was really surprised by Gibbs' words. Until that moment, he didn't realize anyone could manipulate Gibbs and survive.
"She used my pain over Kelly's death against me," he answered through clenched teeth. "Ziva told me I was the only father she had and I believed her." He stood up and started pacing the room. "I treated her like a daughter."
He stopped at the foot of Tony's bed and looked straight into his eyes. "She isn't my daughter. She's the woman who lied to me about Ari for four years. She's the woman who killed her own brother to gain my trust." He gripped the bedrail so tightly that his knuckles went white.
Gibbs saw Tony's eye widen in shock. "She what?" he whispered.
"Didn't you know?" Gibbs raised his eyebrows and when Tony shook his head, he continued. "When we came back from Tel Aviv, Vance told me Eli ordered Ziva to kill Ari because he was a rough and to gain my trust."
"Why? Why does he want your trust?"
"I don't know," Gibbs sighed and headed towards the window. "I should have known there was something wrong when..." he trailed off and stared out the window.
Tony barely heard what his boss had said. "When what?" he pressed.
"Before getting on the plane, Ziva asked me to choose between you and her and, when we got her back, she told me she had felt betrayed because I had chosen you," Gibbs shook his head. "I guess she thought I'd choose her," he smirked, anger and disbelief present in his voice.
The Team Leader expected to hear an angry comment or a sarcastic joke from Tony but his words were met with silence.
As Gibbs turned to check on his agent, he heard choking sounds coming from DiNozzo's bed. "Tony!" he rushed to his SFA's side.
Tony was panting. Ziva tried to take away the only family I have. At the time, she was still on good terms with her father...but still she tried to steal my family. Ziva knows damn well what Gibbs and the others mean to me and she knows how important my job is. Being a Federal Agent is part of who I am...but she wanted me to be alone.
After I lost Jeanne, my team and my job became the most important things in my life. She wanted me to lose everything I care about. Maybe, I could have forgiven her actions in Israel in the end, but this...she tried to destroy my life!
"Tony, breathe!" Gibbs ordered as he took the oxygen mask that was hanging on the wall behind the bed and put it over Tony's mouth. "Breathe," he repeated, trying to sound calm. "In and out...slowly...in and out...breathe," he coached his friend.
Asking Gibbs to choose between me and her?! That's crazy! Gibbs treats us like family. You don't ask a father to choose between his children. I shouldn't be surprised...her father ordered her to kill his son. That family is poison and I've got to protect my family from its venom.
The former Marine saw Tony's eyes rolling back in his head. "Stay with me, DiNozzo!" he barked the firmest order he had ever given.
Tony's foggy eyes looked at Gibbs. The older man had never seen such deep sadness and pain in those green orbs. "I know. It hurts more than any injury you've ever received but she's gone now," he said calmly as he ran his fingers through Tony's hair. "She's not part of our team anymore and, if you want my opinion, she'll never be again."
In that moment, Lori, the night nurse,entered the room, alarmed by the sound of Tony's heart monitor.
"Give us a minute, please," Gibbs asked, looking directly at her.
The woman slowly approached the bed and checked all the monitors. She turned and met Gibbs' stare. "Dr. Pitt doesn't want to give him anything that could depress his respiration," she said. "But if it—"
"If it gets worse, I'll call you immediately," Gibbs reassured her. "Thank you," he added and Lori left the room.
"Better?" Gibbs asked Tony. The younger man nodded and said something that was muffled by the mask. "We'll talk later. Now rest."
Tony's hand moved towards the oxygen mask. Gibbs was about to slap it away when he saw the pleading expression on his agent's face."Okay, I'll remove it for a few seconds. Deal?"
Tony nodded and, as soon as his mouth was free from the mask he croaked, "Why?" He couldn't believe that Ziva had tried to get rid of him, even after all he had done to help her, but he was determined to understand her reasons so he could put an end to this mess forever.
"Why she asked me to choose?" Gibbs asked as he put the oxygen mask back over Tony's mouth.
Tony nodded. "She said she couldn't work with you because she didn't trust you and didn't believe you about Rivkin even though you gave her your word," Gibbs recalled.
Tony shook his head sadly and Gibbs continued, "There was no contest." Gibbs took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Tony's face and forehead, seeing the uncertainty in DiNozzo's eyes. "I'll always choose you. Without hesitation."
Even though Tony's look was unreadable, the older man knew he was still struggling to decide whether or not to believe his friend. Gibbs perched on the bed and took a deep breath. It was time to close the door on the past and start a brand new relationship with Tony.
"I screwed up big time with you Tony and I can't change the past, but I can—we can—start over. It'll be like our first years, the good old days," he smirked. "What do you think?"
Tony blinked once in agreement and Gibbs was sure there was a small smile under the oxygen mask.
"I chose you. No one forced me to hire you. When we were working together in Baltimore, I asked Pacci to find your file because you impressed me. You were what I was looking for. Do you remember when we first talked at the precinct?" Gibbs asked and Tony nodded in response. "You understood my plan without me saying anything. You were, and still are, the best young agent I've ever worked with."
Tony's eyes widened at those words. Gibbs never offered such high praise. Maybe the concussion was worse than doctors thought...
"I mean it," Gibbs easily read his SFA's thoughts and smirked at Tony's glare. "You're my best agent and...my best friend. I've met only two people who knew how to deal with me. I married the first one and..." he swallowed hard. "And I hired the second one," he added, wiping a tear on Tony's cheek with his thumb.
"Tony, I've heard what Abby told you about the past months…" Gibbs took a deep breath. It'd never been easy for him to talk about his feelings.
Gibbs, like Tony, was a reserved man and what Tony called 'Hallmark moments' weren't his forte. Luckily, Abby had saved him by already telling Tony everything he wanted to say in this moment. Now, he just needed to confirm her words. "She's right, Tony. What Abby said is all true."
Relief washed over Tony and he suddenly felt happy, safe and at peace. All doubts were gone and, despite the pain he was feeling and the hard moments he still needed to face, Tony knew that everything would be all right.
With his friends by his side, he could face the future without any fear or doubt.
Tony slowly removed the mask from his mouth and whispered, "Thank you."
Gibbs nodded and one of his rare smiles appeared on his face. "I'm sor—"
"No," Tony stopped him in quiet voice. "Enough with regrets and apologies. It's time to get our lives back."
Gibbs nodded solemnly. "But now it's time for you to sleep; you have surgery tomorrow," he stood up and, after hanging the oxygen mask on the wall, he smoothed Tony's covers over his chest and turned off the overhead light before sitting down on his recliner again.
In the dark, Tony said, "Gibbs, about Ziva..."
"Tomorrow, DiNozzo. Now sleep."
"On it, boss!" Tony answered and Gibbs' heart jumped in his chest.
For the first time in months, Tony had called him 'boss', giving him hope that they really could go back to old times.
I wonder what Tony wanted to tell me about Ziva...
Tim McGee was at his desk in the bullpen. Abby, Ducky and Palmer had left hours ago but the temporary SFA was still working on his report.
The investigations into the mysterious deaths of four sailors, the attack on American soil and the drug traffic linked to it, had started only a few days after Tony's funeral, so gathering all the information and giving it a logical order had become a huge job.
I should have asked Abby to help me, he sighed, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
He stopped and turned towards Tony's desk. I still can't believe he's alive and that soon he'll be back as my SFA.
Tim shook his head and smiled.
I guess you've used all of your remaining lives, DiNozzo, he chuckled. I need to talk to him and apologize for my arrogance. I thought I was better than you, Tony...but it's not true. I just hope we'll be able to get back our old friendship.
Tim's gaze shifted to Ziva's desk and a frustrated sign escaped his lips. Why? Why Ziva? What she did is...is completely crazy. I knew she was violent but I thought she was able to control anger and direct it toward the people who really deserved it.
He threw the pen he was holding at his desk. Damn! You do not hurt your teammates! You do not hurt your family! That's how we live and work!
The phone on his desk rang. "McGee!" he barked into the receiver.
"Hey! Are you taking good manners lessons from Gibbs?" a male voice joked.
"Uhm... sorry," he replied, his tone calmer. "Who's speaking?"
"Kort. Bad night, McGee?" asked the CIA agent.
"Sort of. What can I do for you?"
"We've got a problem."
"Yeah, I know," Tim sighed, misunderstanding the older man's words.
"Ya know?" Trent asked, surprised.
"Yeah...wait! What problem are you talking about?"
"I'll email you all the details and the pics, but long story short: we're helping FBI, DEA and the border patrol in the surveillance of the USA-Mexican border in order to stop drug trafficking and illegal immigration."
"Yes," Tim nodded though Kort couldn't see him. "Why do we have a problem?"
"A few minutes ago, I got a report from border patrol. Yesterday, while they were processing a group of six people at the checkpoint twenty-nine miles north of Laredo on Interstate 35, two armored SUVs attacked them from behind."
"Was everyone okay?" he gasped.
"Only three men walked away alive."
"And our problem is..."
"There was a camera in the border patrol vehicle that caught the whole exchange on tape so they were able to isolate some photos from that. Unfortunately, the camera was damaged in the gunfight and only some images are clear."
"And?" Tim encouraged him, though he had the bad feeling that he wouldn't like what Kort was going to say.
"We ID'd three of the corpses. Mario Espinoza and Jorge Lopez were textiles exporters. They were travelling to a fabrics fair in Huston." Kort checked the report and then added, "Juan Soler was a mason who worked for Wayne Construction Company in San Antonio...he became an American citizen only five months ago... all honest workers with spotless criminal records," the CIA Agent said.
"I doubt you called me to talk about three honest Mexican workers killed at the USA-Mexico border, Kort."
"Yeah," the oder man sighed. "We have photos of two of the men who escaped with the shooters after the gunfight: Michel Dupont and Sean Napier, mercenaries who have been recently hired by Reynosa Cartel in Mexico."
Trent waited for any comment or question from the NCIS agent. When his words were met with silence, he added, "The third one..."
"What about him?" McGee interrupted, finally recovering from the initial shock.
"We only got two clear photos of his back..."
"What about his face?"
"Too damaged. CIA and FBI used all of their resources but nada. He's unrecognizable."
"Crap!"
"We showed Rosa and Franks the photos we got from the camera and they said that both Dupont and Napier were part of the group that abducted Franks' family."
"And the other guy?"
"They said he could be the mercenaries' leader, the man who beat Tony almost to death and tied a bomb to his wrist, but without a clear image of his face..." Kort trailed off.
"This can't be happening," Tim whispered.
"McGee, if Rosa and Franks are right, this man is Eric Portman. One of the most wanted man in the world. We knew that he was in Mexico, but we didn't know that Paloma Reynosa had hired him and his men," Kort's voice was so excited. "Portman has no family and has lived on the run for most of his life."
"We have two photos of him from when he joined Marine Corps to avoid prison. He was only seventeen and only God knows how he looks like today because he was disfigured in an explosion twelve years ago in Nicaragua. Doctors patched him up but he escaped from the hospital before they finished. After that, he became a ghost and anyone who sees his face ends up dead. Only his men know what he really looks like and they're hiding somewhere in Mexico."
"We can catch Napier and Dupont and force them to identify him," Tim suggested.
"Well, you could do that," Kort sighed, "but I would have thought you'd be more concerned about the fact that Tony is the only person who doesn't work for Portman who has seen his face and lived. You and I both know Portman doesn't like leaving loose ends."
"You think that they're here to kill him," McGee said more as a statement than a question.
"Yes."
"We already have two agents guarding Tony's room and Gibbs is with him too but we certainly need to reinforce the surveillance. Thanks for the info, Kort."
"McGee, I suggest you to remove DiNozzo from the hospital and hide him somewhere safe."
"Tomorrow he has surgery for his cheekbone. Then we'll see what doctors say. Thanks again," Tim said as he picked up his cell and called Gibbs.
"Keep me informed," Kort said before hanging up.
Gibbs' cell was turned off so Tim grabbed his jacket and headed to Bethesda Hospital.
I hope doctors give us permission to move Tony to a safe house.
McGee slowly opened Tony's door and entered the room.
Both the men in the room were sound asleep but, as soon as Tim stopped next to Tony's bed, Gibbs opened his eyes and glared at him.
"We've got a problem, Boss," the younger man whispered and headed back to the door.
Gibbs frowned as he stood up and followed McGee in the hall, leaving the door open in case Tony needed him. "What's going on, McGee?" he inquired.
"Kort called," Tim started and Gibbs raised his eyebrows at that name. "A check point on USA-Mexico border was attacked by two armored SUVs. All border patrol agents and three Mexicans were killed. Three other men escaped and Rosa and Franks identified two of them as part of team that tortured Tony and Mike." Tim paused to take a deep breath. "Their names are Dupont and Napier," he added as he checked his iPhone and showed Gibbs the photos Kort had emailed him.
The former Marine nodded as he pointed to Dupont. Then he asked, "You said there were three fugitives. What happened to the third one?"
"His name is Portman. The camera in the BP car was damaged, so we've only two pics of his back one of his face. Unfortunately it's too ruined to be useful. Rosa and Franks said that he could be the mercenaries' leader and the man who..." McGee trailed off and glanced pointedly at Tony.
"Son of a bi**h," Gibbs growled.
"Portman's a ghost, boss," Tim explained. "Kort said that all the alphabet agencies know his name but not one knows who is he today. So, unless you saw his face," McGee's eyes raised to look at Gibbs, full of hope, but the former Marine shook his head, "Tony's the only one who can identify him."
Gibbs' head snapped up and his eyes widened. "They're in US..."
"To finish the job." Tim nodded. "They're here to kill Tony," he concluded.
They turned to look at Tony who was sleeping peacefully, unaware of the danger he was in.
I've got to keep him safe. Gibbs thought. I need to hide him somewhere safe yet secret...where?!
TBC
Where could they go? Any suggestions for our guys? ;-)
See you on the next chapter. Don't forget to let me know what you thought about this one. Thank you! :-)
