Smackdown April 30, 2015
'My whole life's a mistake anyway.'
It's part of the backstage segment, his brother's way to carry their unfinished feud, Seth knows that. This is Dean playing Dean perfectly, once again only saying the truth in a promo.
And that's what bothers him the most.
Because Seth is a major part of that life now too – so is Rome – and there's nothing wrong with that. Or so he thought.
Looking into Dean's honest, slightly distanced eyes, Seth is about to break character and kiss his friend right there, hug him close until the end of days and reassure him that his life isn't a mistake, that he's not a complete failure.
Sure, there are some dark sports that brought Dean to his knees once or twice, but all the good and the horrible stuff shaped him into the person he is today, into the man he fell in love with.
It's taking all his willpower to stay in his role – this shared promo was already an enormous risk he absolutely wanted to take; begging Kane to make it possible because he misses interacting with Dean in front of the camera – and finish his job but once all is said and done in the ring he corners Dean in front of their motel room, arriving just in time to stop him from closing the door behind him and Roman.
'Your whole life is a mistake?' He sounds way more hurt and accusing than he wanted to but he feels personally offended by this simple statement. What upsets him the most is that he thought Dean had gotten better, that maybe he and his love saved his brother from the dark holes he used to fall into. Seems like he only fooled himself.
Dean sighs tiredly and looks around, signaling Roman to stay inside; he'll be there any second because in his opinion this discussion won't take long. Not with him. Seth has a bone to pick and he won't go before this is settled. There must be something he can do to make Dean feel better. And God help him, he'll find it.
'Isn't it?' 'Of course not,' he immediately roars back, wishing to grab Dean by the shoulders and shake him until he stops uttering such nonsense. Seth doesn't want to be considered another mistake. Dean can't just go back to the soul-sucking, pitch-black places where Seth can't follow.
He needs to do something. Like, right now. And if his brother is prepared to follow him, if his blind faith doesn't waver, Seth will lead him into the unknown, but he can promise that he won't leave his brother alone. Maybe it's finally time for Dean and Roman to part ways too.
Not in the sniveling, cowardly way he did almost a year ago; they will talk about it together, go through all the pros and cons and then it's up to his family to decide if they want to do it. A turn of one of his brothers – and they decide who it will be, no matter what Seth wants – is inevitable.
Especially now that Seth can ask Kane to do him a little favor. He will give Dean something to look forward to, a purpose to fight for and if it's the last thing he'll ever do.
His brother looks at him, contemplating his words while leaning back against their rental. 'I did some pretty stupid stuff.' That's no excuse to say things like that, no reason to worry Seth so much. Dean mentioning those things means that it never stopped smoldering beneath the surface and that he's hidden this from his family the entire time.
'We're not a mistake.' He doesn't even refer to their relationship; he means their brotherhood. Ever since the three of them crossed paths Dean tentatively stepped into the light after staying in the shadows for far too long.
His friend pulls him close and rests his lips on Seth's before whispering, 'No, you're not.' So that's not what weighs on him. It's probably still his performance and their feud – his and Rome's, not their own, though never having won a single match must annoy him too – throwing him into another rough emotional patch.
But Seth has a remedy for that. If his brothers lets him. He's sure Kane won't mind, as long as it means he gets to piss Seth off on-screen and toy with him, abusing his power as the Director of Operations. Seth wants to help Dean get where he belongs and Payback is the perfect opportunity.
He doesn't intend to take anything away from Roman – and he couldn't care less about Orton –, he'll hopefully see that this is a chance for Dean. Not because they're together and Seth would do anything for him, but because he deserves being in the title picture too. If Dean can decide that Seth is ready, then he can put his foot down and say that both his brothers should be right by his side too. Even if they all will be opponents.
An insecure laugh escapes his mouth and he flings his arms around his brother's neck, holding on for his dear life. 'You scared me. You hurt me.' Roman probably too, though he never takes things so personal.
Dean bumps their noses together, holding Seth's cheeks in his warm hands. 'Sorry.'
Seth shakes his head, fear still crawling up his spine. Dean is so strong, so full of life, he can't just give up now. The past year wasn't the best – he understands that, since it was mostly his fault – but Dean has hit his personal rock bottom already. From here on it can only get better. It has to. And Seth will force it to.
No matter if he blows his cover or not. Family is more important, The Shield has taught him that.
'Don't go where I can't follow,' he voices his earlier thought, burying his head in the crook of Dean's neck, breathing in his brother's calming scent. A low rumble tickles him from under his partner's skin and he hears a teasing yet entirely honest, 'I'll leave breadcrumbs behind.' Seth can live with that. For now.
He has to go, can't spend tonight with his friends but he won't drive off just yet. Being with Dean is so much better than having to keep playing someone he is not in front of his so-called security. He wishes he could stay, but he can't leave Kevin behind and there's still a lot he has to do tonight.
Like contact Kane and go through his new, enhanced plan for Payback, see if they can make it work. And then wait until Joey and Jamie are asleep to call his brothers and tell them what he came up with now. He will let them settle it on their own, let the news sink in for a day or two, before they will meet sometime prior to RAW to discuss every detail and how this might change everything.
Seth looks his brother in the eyes – his pupils are almost completely dilated, due to the darkness, making them appear like two black orbs – and whispers, 'You'll come to us, right? Whenever you're about to descent into that hole you'll find us. I need you to try. Don't abandon me.'
Dean has to learn to ask for and accept help. He's not alone anymore and there are two people who would give their own life for him. He just has to let them in.
His friend stays silent for a couple of minutes, holding him protectively in his arms, trying to soothe him without any words. His brother scared him to death with that admission and showed him once again how easily he could lose Dean to, well, Dean. And he wouldn't survive that. Not anymore.
'A huge part, most of my life is a mistake. Letting you go though would be the dumbest thing I've ever done. And I once hurled into the airstream.' Even though he has to snort at that, Seth's heart still trips over itself inside his chest and his fingers won't stop shaking.
He'll never not fear Dean leaving him just the way he did on more than one occasion, yet all he can do is believe in him. Neither he nor Roman can force him to open up but he wants Dean to know that they'll always be there for him.
'You okay?' He needs to know before he leaves. 'Nothing I can't handle.' That's exactly what Seth meant. Dean shouldn't try to solve his problems on his own anymore, two guys are more than willing to help him in any way they can. Even if it's only moral support.
But old habits die hard, and Dean's the prime example for that. Sometimes Seth wishes that Jon Moxley had never existed.
'I'll text Roman to keep an eye on you.' Dean chuckles, kissing him on the tip of his nose. 'Yes, mom.'
'Someone has to take care of you,' he retorts as they break the embrace and Dean escorts him to his own rental car. He can't wait to get back to the hotel to pay Kane a surprise visit, but before he does that he will write his big brother to speak with Dean – or not, whatever it is they do when they're alone – and stay awake until he calls them again. With good and bad news.
'What would I do without you?' Strangely, Dean doesn't say this mockingly and it irritates Seth a bit. Especially because there's only one possible answer to that. His friend would live life the only way he knows how to. He doesn't need Seth to be happy or to function, but it's still nice to fool himself into thinking he does. Because Seth sure would wither away without him.
'You'd try to convince Rome to fall for you,' he answers jokingly and grins when the all-consuming jealousy doesn't resurface. He finally conquered at least that crippling fear. They both laugh, though the nice sound fades away soon and Dean hugs him tightly once more.
It's obvious he doesn't want Seth to go, but he can't be here tonight. As much as he'd want to stay, he dug his own grave and he has to lie in it now.
'I'd be as lost as you.'
'You want what?' He groans enervated, grumbling into the phone, 'Am I talking Chinese? You want me to write it down? I have a way to get you into the main event of Payback, so you too have a title shot. And stop saying you don't deserve it, that's bullshit.'
'He's right,' Roman comes to his aid, sounding very supportive. Of course he does. Rome is so selfless that it pains him sometimes. Seth initially worried that he could resent him for his idea but so far he hasn't shown any signs of anger or frustration. Maybe he's already used to Seth taking his moments away from him.
He really can't say if it's because of that or the fact that his big brother knows that Dean belongs in the title hunt. Or even because he wants to do something good for his best friend too. Either way, he agrees with everything and that's all that matters.
Seth knows he's asking for a lot but it's the only thing making sense to him to help Dean get back on track. Even if he should lose at Payback, he'll know that he did so against the absolute best and that he's surrounded by his family at all times.
Randy is an unknown factor but they can all count on him fighting only for himself, attacking everyone at any given moment. Dean and Roman will stand tall together until the final night arrives. And then, only then, will they decide on a whim which way they'll go. If one of them turns face or heel and joins him on his crusade or goes his own way even.
'Don't tell me it's cause of what I said earlier,' Dean accuses him – rightfully so – but before he can defend himself Roman steps into the breach. 'Should stay in the family, don't ya think? It's only fair if we both get a chance to take the title from him.'
Yeah, they wish. He's defeated them countless times without the help of the Authority already. He won't give that belt up that easily.
Dean grunts something Seth isn't able to understand properly over the phone and he has time to quickly check on his snoring security before his brother speaks up again. 'Let's ignore my definite answer for a sec; how do you want to pull this off?'
Good. That part is already mapped out – he and Kane did a lot of brainstorming earlier, coming up with the perfect, bulletproof way. In the end the answer was so simple.
He sits down on the edge of his bed, slipping out of his boots. He didn't even have time to wind down yet, too busy with scheming. Seth still feels wired up and he breathes twice through his nose to calm down a bit.
'Now listen carefully. Kane will reignite our feud on the big screen. He'll continue to be fed up with my antics and make a match between us. J&J are banned from ringside, logically,' he explains, shimmying out of his pants. 'And because I can throw the best temper tantrums, he adds the stipulation to turn the title match into a Fatal 4-Way if you beat me. On Smackdown we sign the contract and once it's set in stone no one can do anything about it.'
'So you wanna lose against me? I don't want your chance then. I wanna earn it.' He shakes his head determinedly, forgetting momentarily that no one can see him. 'How low is your opinion of me? It'll be a fair fight and you know I wouldn't have it any other way. That's why it'll be just you and me. I do have some pride left.'
Both his brothers snicker and it sounds a bit mean, as if they've lost all faith in Seth even remembering what a fair fight is. How rude. It's not like The Shield never used guileful methods to win during their heel run. Who do they think he learned everything from?
'Okay, smartass. What if I lose?' Dean won't, Seth just knows that. His friend was so close to defeating him every match during their feud and at Hell In A Cell he would have won if Bray hadn't interfered. In an equal battle his brother is as good as Seth.
But he knows his brother by heart, knows how he moves and how to counter. In a title fight, he would use all that knowledge against Dean – boyfriend or not – but to get him into the picture he will count on his partner finally getting what he deserves: a victory over him. The only one Seth will allow him to get away with.
'Then we'll find another way to include you. The fans love you, they will want to make this happen at all costs. But you won't lose, you hear me? One year is enough, Dean. I know you have it in you and I also know there's a lot of pent-up frustration you still need to unleash on me. I'm ready for it. But don't think for a second I will go easy on you on Monday or Payback. You are my brothers and I love you, but this is my title.'
They huff out a fond laugh and Seth can make out hurried footsteps in the background. Dean started pacing the room, mulling over everything he just said. He can feel what will come next and he's also aware that it's one of the hardest decisions the two of them ever had to make.
'Is this your not so subtle way to force one of us to turn on the other during Payback?' No. Yes. Probably. He's tired of being alone and if one of his brothers – preferably Dean – goes dark side they can travel together again and no one would ask any questions. Not even Hunter or Stephanie.
He just wants his family back and if he has to do it this way, then so be it. Like he said, a year is enough.
'We need to talk about that option too, yeah,' he breaks the bad news, holding his breath in anticipation. It's quiet on the other end and Seth wishes he could see their faces. They're obviously having an entire conversation now, without words to redline him. As punishment for potentially breaking them up.
'You remember what happened last year the night after that Pay-Per-View?' He does. And he'll never stop feeling sorry for it. Payback is a dark chapter in their history but they could turn it into a good one this time around.
'Okay, we need you to leave us alone now. And be sure that I will kick your ass on Monday. If I see that you hesitate just once I'm calling this whole thing off,' Dean warns him and Seth smiles into the darkness surrounding him. His brother is on board – at least with that part of the plan.
Even though he doesn't know how all of this will eventually turn out, Seth feels like he accomplished a great deal tonight. He's one step closer to reaching his goal and he helped Dean forget about the huge mistake his life supposedly is. Seth gave him a new focus until his partner is ready to share his thoughts.
'Promise. Think about it and then let's talk on Sunday. You two have to be prepared for all the possibilities regarding Payback. I love you,' he says his goodbye, grinning from ear to ear when Dean mumbles a disgruntled Fuck you too.
His brother doesn't want to turn on Roman but he also doesn't want to be the one being betrayed once more. He's between a rock and a hard place, Seth can emphasize with that, which is why he'll give Dean all the time he needs. Just because they discuss these matters doesn't mean they'll have to do it.
'It's pretty lonely here,' he tries to convince his friends one last time and Dean sighs loudly. 'I know. It won't be for long.' That is not a yes yet. Seth however knows that it means his partner will give this some serious thought. After all, no matter what they'll do, he's the one who has to give up the most.
He's about to hang up when Roman's voice gets louder – as if he moves closer to the phone to end the call too – muttering disbelieving, and definitely not for him to hear, 'See what he's doin' there? Putting you into his 'n mine business like he'd rather have you as his bodyguard.'
Seth is only doing that to keep Dean's mind preoccupied, to make him grab that brass ring and so he won't have to helplessly watch his brothers wage war. Roman hardly could stand that, how does he think Dean would be able to handle it?
His brother chuckles hundreds of miles away, answering surprisingly proudly, 'Perks of having a powerful boyfriend.' And then there's only silence.
Boyfriend.
