Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.
Light knew within two seconds of their first kiss that he was not bisexual.
He'd known for a while now that he liked men, but he'd always been a bit ambivalent on women. Now he was sure: there was no ambivalence, there was only indifference.
The thing was, kissing her wasn't the same as kissing L. First off, kissing her was soft and passive, not a battle or straight-up dominating. Her lips were plumper and her skin was softer. She went straight for the bed, too, pulling him down on top of her and leaning up to kiss him. Gently.
It was just so gentle. There was no bite to it, either literal or figurative. There was lust and maybe even some emotion in it, but no passion. There was no sense of urgency or desperation. She was just there and they were making out and there was her tongue and it wasn't that interesting. He could easily stop this all right now and go do a crossword puzzle or something.
He was on top of her, which was fine, but when she took his hand and slid it up the front of her shirt, it was soft. There were curves where there needed to be planes and it was soft where it really should have been firm. Even when she curved her neck and kissed along his collarbone, Light simply felt nothing.
It just was not the same.
J didn't press him against a wall. She wasn't angry at him and he didn't loathe her or obsess over her. She didn't know him at all, not him as he really was, and he only knew the shallowest level of information about her (though arguably she didn't have another layer). They weren't even friends. Maybe that's what the internet meant about needing to trust someone.
But he trusted J more than he trusted L, really.
Still, he let her do what she wanted. He participated, too. He went through all the motions, did all the right things, but nothing was happening for him. He even let her get them both naked and it was unexciting. When she wrapped their fingers together and began to guide them down, he stopped.
"Uh…"
She looked up at him. Her lips were parted and she was panting, but it was just. Too high-pitched. Too feminine. "Yes?" she asked breathlessly.
"I, um." He pulled back slightly, wanting to get a bit more distance between them just in case she got mad or tried harder to shove his hand into her jeans. "I think…"
Her eyes traveled down the front of his body, landing at his cock. She smiled and looked back up at his face. "You're not ready."
Oh. That would work. Light slumped and nodded.
"Of course not." She sat up fully and he climbed off of her, so relieved that there weren't even words. "I should have known. I'm so sorry, K."
He took her hand. "For what?" he asked, manipulating his voice into gentle and sincere. "You were just trying to make me feel better. And you know, I really think I do. I definitely feel wanted." He smiled, leaned in, and kissed her lips softly. He hated it. "My mind just isn't away from him yet." He squeezed and released her hand. "Maybe someday."
She stroked his hair back from his forehead, smiling. She kissed it gently. "You need to talk to him, don't you?"
He nodded, getting out of her bed. He started to put his clothes on. "Yeah. I'll go to our room… we'll see how it goes." He gave a hopeful smile. He finished dressing and left.
He was back to his room shortly thereafter. As he knew he would be, L was there. He crossed to his bed and sat on it as if he didn't even see him, even though he could feel L's eyes burning a hole in him.
Humming to himself, he got his manicure set out of his bedside drawer, brought over his small garbage can, and began trimming and filing his fingernails.
"Well?" L finally demanded.
Light examined his thumb. "Well, what?"
L made a rare sound of frustration. "Well what happened after you left the cafeteria with J?"
"Oh, nothing much," Light said airily. "She took me back to her room."
L eyed him.
"We made out. I touched her breasts."
L snorted.
"She got all our clothes off, too," Light added. "So now I've seen a woman naked."
"And you cared so much I am sure."
"Oh, deeply. In fact, I can't imagine anything more compelling than a naked woman."
"I'm certain." L smirked and laid back on his bed.
Light looked over at L's bed to find L's attention no longer on him.
No.
"I will admit, men are definitely my preference. Though," Light mused, "I can't say it had no effect on me."
A stiffening of shoulders but nothing else.
"And I mean, someone with their mouth on your cock is bound to draw some sort of a reaction, right?"
L's whole body was stiff now but still he wasn't giving any more of a response. He didn't quite believe him, it seemed. Light would have to fix that. He did have theoretical knowledge and a great imagination.
"It's not like mouths are sex specified," he went on. "A warm, wet mouth is a warm, wet mouth, right? It got me off all the same."
Still no response? Well he could lie even more. L seemed to like that.
"Going down on her was weirder, though." He made a face. L wouldn't be able to see it but he'd be able to hear it in his voice. "Kind of… I wouldn't say salty. How to describe it? Hm… maybe… tangy or… you know there's just no taste similar that I can compare it to. Slightly metallic I guess."
L sat up quickly. "I don't want to hear about it. Go brush your teeth. You do love to do that."
Light smirked and put down his manicure set. "Does it bother you?"
L's eyes narrowed. "No."
"It doesn't bother you that someone else got me first?" he asked, voice lowering. "What a shame. It could have been you, but J was just so convenient today. She sat down and gave me the perfect breakup scenario for us. Then naturally I had to go back to her room and have rebound sex."
"Rebound from what?" L said, voice snippy. He got up and went to their bookshelf, pretending to be very interested in the books on it. "Nothing to rebound from."
"Rebound from the perspective of everyone else," Light said. "She'll tell everyone we did it, and everyone will know I've moved on from you because you didn't treat me right. And everyone will just dislike you even more."
L removed a book a bit more aggressively than a book needed to be removed. It seemed he mistreated books when he was worked up. Hm.
"Maybe it will be the final straw for your unpopularity, even. I'm their favorite and now you've abused me. I'm pretty sure that makes you straight-up evil. People will talk about you, stare at you, make fun of you, snub you…"
"I don't care what people think of me!" L snapped, cramming the book back into the shelf and turning around. He stalked closer to Light. "It's only for your amusement that you attempt to destroy my reputation. It does nothing to me. Nothing changes."
"Oh?" he asked innocently. "Then why are you so upset right now? It can't be that you're jealous."
L was at the side of his bed, now, eyes locked on Light. "It can, it is, and I am," he said, voice as low as Light had ever heard it. There was an edge in it.
Light tried to keep his voice casual. "You? Jealous?"
L pushed Light flat on his back with one hand. "Me, jealous," he growled, and he kissed him.
'Ha,' Light thought the moment their lips connected, and then he stopped most of his thinking because L was climbing onto him without breaking the kiss.
It was rough and wanting and demanding and somehow very L. L, the slow, constant pressure who looked blank but was the most certainly not. A force to be reckoned with, who was very used to getting what he wanted by the sheer force of his will.
It was not like kissing J.
Light was really, really not bisexual.
"I know you don't like women," L growled against Light's lips. Light could feel the vibrations all the way down to his toes. "I know you didn't exchange favors with J—maybe you'd let her suck your cock but there's no way you'd even touch her."
Dammit why was L always right?
"I know you're doing it to make me jealous. I know you're manipulating me, or trying to, by making me think of you. All the time. About your body, your mind, your eyes. About what it might be like to hold you down and have you and see if I can make you beg for me like you think you can make me beg for you."
This time it wasn't vibrations that traveled down Light's body, it was the words themselves. Of course he knew. Of course.
"And you have. I think of you, and I want you, and if you caught me right I would probably beg to have you."
Yes!
"I know what you are and what you're doing, but it works. I will never understand it, but do you even realize that you've done it all to yourself, too? That you think of me and desire me, that you are just as obsessed as I am and are driving yourself to distraction just as much if not more than you are me. You stupid, idiot, beautiful genius."
L above him, those works and that voice. Hands travelling down his sides, thumbs brushing under the belt of his trousers. Of course L knew, he shouldn't have expected any less of him. He was right, too: Light wanted him just as badly. But he'd succeeded. He owned L, he could make L desperate, make him beg.
"L," he said, digging his fingernails into L's back, watching L shudder. "What were you saying, before?"
L picked up his head to look at him. "Weren't you paying attention?"
"Before," Light repeated. He turned his neck, stretching it out so it was long and L could get a good look. "In the library. Not long ago." He smirked. "About wanting to eat me?"
L grabbed him by the hair and kissed him hard enough to bruise. It made Light gasp and arch up into him. L dragged his long fingers down Light's body, crawling down on the bed, lower and lower…
His clever fingers undid Light's button, pulled down his zipper. Light could barely breathe and the hands were still moving. He spread his legs to give him more room and L shifted and filled the area. He pulled Light's trousers down, then his underwear, looking intensely at Light's cock. They'd seen each other naked before but it wasn't like this. Light was hard. He could admit he was desperate.
L traced along the inside of one thigh, leaning down to kiss the other, lick gently, nip… his hands and his lips crept closer to the base of Light's cock and Light's fingers tangled with the bottom sheet of his bed. He didn't know what that mouth would feel like but he could guess. He'd certainly dreamed about it enough, and then there'd been that internet research…
The lips were as close as they could be to where Light really wanted them, and then L sat up.
Light whined before he could help it. He sat up hurriedly, half-collapsing. "What, what?"
L crawled over him, leaning in to kiss Light's lips. It was slow and deep. "You see," he said against his lips, "I can do it, too."
And then he was off of him and gone.
