Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Mass Effect.

Misplaced

Chapter 50: Commence the spilling of the beans

"Talking"

"Thinking"

"Bijū/VI/Geth/Reaper talking"

"Bijū/VI/Geth/Reaper thinking"

Reading/News/Intercom

(Location: the Normandy)

As the Illusive Man came into view, sitting in his chair with a cigarette in one hand and a glass in the other, he looked as calm and collected as ever. That pissed off Naruto and he knew that it showed in his scowl. "Commander Uzumaki," the Illusive Man greeted him. He took a swig from his drink and looked at him once more. "I trust that things on Horizon went as planned."

"How's about we cut right through the bullshit, huh?" demanded Naruto. "You've lied to me. You've been lying this entire time."

He paused in his chair, something that the people who knew him well would've thought not really possible. "Perhaps if you could tell me what kind of bullshit we're supposed to be cutting through, I would be able to help you better?"

A growl threatened to bubble out from his throat but he quashed it. If the Illusive Man heard it, he would have the edge and Naruto wasn't going to give to him. "You knew who was going after the human colonies from the start. It wasn't the Tribe. It was the Collectors."

"Ah, I see." He smoked his death stick and blew smoke into the air. "Tell me, how did you come to figure that out?"

"Miranda told me."

"That is unfortunate. I gave clear orders that you weren't to be told about the Collectors until I deemed it necessary."

If they were in the same room together, that would've been the time Naruto had to mentally keep himself strangling the guy. It was good thing that they weren't on the same ship. "It's a little hard to keep that kind of secret when they land on the planet you're on and seem intent on coming after you."

This time, he got the satisfaction of watching the man's eyes widen in surprise. It wasn't obvious since they only moved a few inches out, but it was enough for him, so he took it. "They were at Horizon?" the Illusive Man said.

"Yeah, showed up pretty much after the Council and the Tribe did," he replied.

"I see. That is…unfortunate."

"Unfortunate?" the blonde repeated. "That's all you have to say about this?"

He puffed out a trail of smoke. "What else is there to say, Commander? The Collectors appeared far earlier then I had hoped. This could hinder the plans the Akatsuki has made, but we can adapt."

"Goody for you. Now how about you start explaining why you didn't tell me the truth, hm?"

"Because I did not think you were ready for them, Commander." He leaned back slightly in his chair, completely relaxed about everything that seemed to be happening. "When we rescued you, you had inhibitors planted in your body that prevented you from using your chakra. As that is a key part of your strength, you would've been restricted against the Collectors. I would even dare to imagine that they would be able to get you when you were in that state."

"So you sent me on that wild goose chase," Naruto said accusingly. But even though he was being accusative, it was partially an act. As far as he knew, only two people knew the truth about the implants and he was going to keep it like that as long as he could.

"I would not say it was a wild goose chase, per se. Sending you after the Tribe to investigate the disappearances was a subterfuge. I had hope that you would use that mission to find out how to completely destroy the inhibitors. That way, you would be able to attack the Collectors with much more ease."

"Well, that's out of the window. Now tell me everything that you have on them."

"There is not much that can be explained. You've seen the aftermath of their work in Freedom's Progress."

"So you knew that it was them," he said accusingly. He could remember those empty streets and rooms looking like the people living there had just stepped out but not yet come back. It was a chilling, silent place there was only interrupted by the sound of gunfire.

"I had my suspicions but proof was needed. Proof is always needed." He sipped his drink and continued, "The Collectors are enigmatic at best. They periodically travel to the Terminus System, looking to gather unimportant items or species. Usually in exchange for their technology," he explained.

"I take it that what they've got is much better than ours?"

"Much better," he acknowledged. "When their transactions are complete, they disappear as quickly as they arrived, back beyond the unmapped Omega 4 relay. Until recently, we've had no evidence of direct aggression by the Collectors."

"Let me guess, they got blatant when they attacked the Normandy for me?"

"It wouldn't be unreasonable. They have been sighted on a few world that they had no business being in the weeks after the attack." He looked at Naruto pointedly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I believe you wanted to cut through the bullshit, Commander. That is what I am doing." He took a drag from his cigarette, making the silence go on longer. "I had received reports of sightings of you after the Normandy was destroyed. I sent men to investigate and they did report back that it was you. It was only a few weeks later that we lost track of you. I suspect that was when the Tribe managed to grab hold of you."

"I was right all along then," Naruto thought to himself. But he also knew that wasn't all the Illusive Man knew about that time. Miranda had to have told him about his suspicions. But as much as he wanted to voice them at that moment, he kept it silent. He wasn't going to rat Miranda out, not like this. Instead, he went with a slightly different approach. "Do you have proof of that?"

"Not concrete. What I do have is the fact that the Tribe bought you off the Shadow Broker. Please," he held up his hand to stop Naruto from speaking, "don't ask me the question on your tongue. The information is sketchy at best and the person who passed on that information soon died of wounds. We spent the next two years looking for you."

"So, you've been watching me after I disappeared."

"Again, I will be honest with you, Commander," he said. "We've been watching you long before then."

That was deeply unsettlingly, even more so when he said it so casually. He knew he had all the cards that would make the winning hand and he wasn't trying to keep them hidden, only in reserve. If Naruto went down with this line of questioning, there would be no doubt that the Illusive Man would tell and also silently show him how much power he has in the galaxy and possibly over him.

But if he didn't ask, that question would hang around and nag at him. So he had to ask, "How long?"

The Illusive Man tilted his head ever so slightly. "What do you mean by that question, Naruto?"

"You're not my friend. You don't get to use my name. How long were you watching me?"

"We had people in place to observe you as you hunted after Saren. Miranda herself was on the Citadel while you were there. And even before then we were observing you."

"What? You had people in the hospital on Thessia or something?"

"Yes. But we were watching even before that."

A frown appeared on his face. "There was no before that. That was where I woke up. The only other place I had been was…" He trailed off as he thought those words over and the implication settled into his head. "You were watching when I was sealed?"

The Illusive Man nodded in acknowledgement. "Yes. Admittedly, it was only for two weeks and two of those days were wasted before we figured out that it was the same object that you had been sealed inside of. We observed you and tried guiding the meteor to a planet where we would be able to ensure your safety before and after you were unsealed."

"So once I was unsealed, I would be in your grasp and you could indoctrinate me against the rest of the galaxy?" he demanded, anger beginning to bubble up his throat again. He could actually see it being played out in his mind. He would've been glad that they had managed to pull him out of that damn rock and he would've been depressed about how long he was sealed away. After giving him an appropriate time to grieve and get used to the fact, they would pounce right back on him, training him back up to his proper level and teaching him what they thought about the galaxy. And once he was ready, they would send him out to do their bidding.

"Uh…Naruto?" said Matatabi.

"What?" he asked.

"You do realize that you just describe how you spent your time recovering on Thessia, right?"

He fell silent, thinking over what he had thought. "…Shit, you're right," he finally said, realizing the truth of the Nibi's words. "I was that close to making the two inseparable."

"Why didn't you?" Isobu asked.

"The Alliance gave me the honest view of the galaxy. The Akatsuki wouldn't have."

"I would not have said it like that, Commander," the Illusive Man protested mildly. "We certainly would've done our best to break you out of that seal and bring you up to speed on what was happening in the galaxy. But the rest of it would just be speculation on your part."

"If that's the case, why did I wake up on Thessia?" he challenged.

"That was out of our hands. For some reason, the meteor diverted from the course we had set in for it and hurtled towards Asari space. By the time we could've reached it, it was already going straight for Thessia."

He found that a little funny and a smirk threatened to appear on his lips. "Maybe I felt what you guys were thinking and decided to turn."

"Commander, let us be serious," the Illusive Man said with a slight frown.

Naruto did want to stay on point and where he had been flying while in that rock wasn't on point. "Alright, let's get back to the Collectors. What exactly do they go looking for?"

"They aren't very forthcoming with their motives. Generally, they seek out species with rare genetic mutations or abnormalities. They pay slavers and merc groups exorbitant sums to obtain these specimens. And then they leave. But they've never targeted a single species before. And the previous sample sizes were in the dozens, the tens of thousands."

That was a chilling thought and he almost shuddered at the thought of that many people being taken. "Tens of thousands," he repeated in his mind. "Kami, that's as many people in the Land of Fire, Earth, and Lighting combined!"

"Before the war," Kurama added.

"Yeah, before the war," he agreed. Things were a lot different before the war. He didn't have to climb up and over mountains of dead bodies or wade through a virtual sea of bodies, hoping to never see someone he knew there. More often than not he did. But that wasn't something he could (or wanted to) focus on now. "What do you think they would do all this?"

"If I knew, I would end it," the Illusive Man told him with an edge to his voice. "All I can say is that I believe that they working for the Reapers, just as Saren and the geth aided Sovereign. You've seen it yourself. You bested all three of them."

He was silent. The Reapers, he thought and hoped that he wouldn't have to hear about them again in this lifetime. One Reaper had been enough to almost overwhelm the Citadel and the Council with it. The plural form of that idea was even more scary, probably even more so than Obito. And in Naruto's books, there were very few things in the galaxy that were able to top Obito during the war. "How sure are you about that?" he asked the Illusive Man as he took a drink. "How sure are you that it is the Reapers?"

The head of the Akatsuki put the empty glass in his chair. "The patterns are there, buried in the data. The Council and the Alliance want to believe the Reaper threat ended with Sovereign. You and I know better."

"If you're talking about heads of states wanting to disbelieve what they've heard about threats, I know."

"Ah yes, the destruction of the Land of Fire's capital and the loss of the daimyo," he said in acknowledgement. "If I remember, it was that event that caused Konoha to take over and effectively rule the Land of Fire."

"Yeah, I remember that," Naruto thought to himself. The politicians who managed to survive the capital's destruction were able to do a miraculous thing in his opinion: they put the petty squabbling aside and turned to Konoha for guidance. He could still remember Tsunade's face would scrunch up in distaste when someone mentioned that she was in charged in the country not just the village. He was glad to have read that once the war was over, she gave the power of rule back to the new daimyo. But since he learned about the Shinobi Uprising, he took it that people in the village thought that they could do a better job. "That was a move that didn't turn out well in the long run," he finally said.

"On the contrary, I believe that it worked out perfectly. But I digress. We're not here to talk about the past but the present." His gaze hardened, which made his eyes just a little bit more eerie. "I won't wait until the Reapers are on the march. We need to take the fight to them."

"Then just go through the Omega 4 relay and do that."

"Commander, be serious. Mounting that kind of attack through an unmapped relay is not only suicidal but also stupid."

"Map it then." It didn't seem to be that difficult to do to him. "I mean, why hasn't anyone done that before?"

"Because any and all ships passing through it have never returned," the Illusive Man answered, taking a drag. "Our best guess is that the relay reacts differently to Collector vessels, allowing them safe passage. If they can manipulate relays, that's just further evidence of the connection with the Reapers."

"Alright, what are you going to do about it then?"

"I'm devoting all resources to finding a way through the Omega 4 relay. We have to hit them where they live. But this will cause a complication on your end."

"How so?" he asked.

"The smoke screen the Akatsuki's been effectively running for you will vanish. You will be in sight of the Collectors and they will come after you now."

"Good. Let them." He wanted to plow through them all and get to the answers.

But the Illusive Man frowned at him as he blew smoke. "Commander, do not overestimate yourself. The smoke screen was put in place because you were too weak to take the Collectors head on. If you had, the possibility that you would lose and be captured was quite real and high. We simply could not risk that."

Naruto scowled hard at him. "I'm not some toy or weapon that you hide away until it's convenient. These Collectors want to find me, they're welcome to try."

The frown stayed there as he took the cigarette out of his mouth. He looked at it for a second, as if he was considering the secrets that could possibly lay within. He brought it down into the ash tray and stubbed it out, rather hard. "Commander, I would appreciate it if you did not take the lives lost for your protection as something that can be waved away."

The anger and annoyance he had felt at the beginning of the conversation froze at those words. "What?"

"Somehow, the Collectors have managed to get a track on your charka signature. I had hoped that when you broke the inhibitors, it would be all at once and you would have your complete arsenal of jutsus back in your control. But that hasn't been the case and the Collectors have noticed. I have sent people out into the galaxy running decoy with your chakra signature, making the Collectors chase after them. Each and every time one of them was caught, they did not make it through the interrogation alive. And you stand there challenging the Collectors to come after you like their deaths meant nothing."

He did not raise his voice, nor did he seem to grow angrier. But Naruto knew that he was angry. It was like he was looking at Sasuke when he wanted nothing but vengeance again. He was keeping that angry inside, where no one would be able to see it. The difference between them was the Illusive Man knew how to handle that anger and Sasuke hadn't. More importantly, the blonde now felt like a complete asshole. Taking lives for granted had been something he had never done, not since the war really began! And he just went and did it!

"Well, they were a part of the Akatsuki," Saiken pointed out to him.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" he asked.

"Just trying to help," the slug replied.

"Bad way to do that," Gyūki told him.

Kurama nodded. "You should know by now that anyone dying for him, he will take personally. Why do you think he got so driven near the end of the war?"

"I can hear you."

"I know, and I don't care. Now go and make that apology you know won't do anything but you still give it anyway."

He restrained the urge to strangle the nine-tailed furball because he knew that it was impossible. Still, it was a nice sorry. "I'm sorry," he said to the Illusive Man, meaning the words with complete sincerity.

He didn't say anything in reply, not right away. He sat there, watching the blonde shinobi bow his head. The silence extended for seconds, turning into a minute before he finally said, "What's done is done. You cannot change their fates. If you don't want any more to die or more humans to be taken, you will have to act."

He raised his head. "That's what I intend to do."

"Your team will need to be strong…as will their resolve. There's no looking back. Once we find a way through the Omega 4 relay to the Collector homeworld…there's no guarantee you'll return."

With those words, Naruto found his attitude again. "I know. There was no guarantee that I would come back from fighting Obito. Hell, it was more likely that I would die. But I still went."

"Indeed. If that is the case, to have any hope of surviving, you—and your entire team—must be fully committed to this."

"I know that. They know that."

"I just want to be up front about your odds. You'll need everyone at their best."

"You got any suggestions?" He could probably talk to his team some more and see if they had anything they needed to get off their chests. But aside from that, he was drawing a blank.

"Yes. I have three more dossiers for you. Keep building your team while I find a way through the relay." He leaned back in his chair. "And be careful out there, Commander. The Collectors will be looking for you now. How you slip past them will be up to you now."

The room he sat in with the star illuminating everything in the background vanished. For a moment, Naruto was left in total darkness. Then he was back in the conference room on the Normandy. As he turned around, he saw Jacob standing by the door. "I guess we're really going to do it," he said without preamble. "Hit the Omega 4 relay, take the fight to the Collectors in person."

He stopped and looked at the man. "I don't like being kept in the dark, Jacob, especially when it concerns me."

"I hear you, Commander. I do. But it wasn't my call." He folded his arms against his chest. "So what do we do now?"

"Rest and recuperate for the moment. I need to check in with Mordin to see if he can do anything about masking my chakra signature. I also need to see how Cuanmiztli and Miranda are doing in the med bay."

He looked a little embarrassed. "Yeah, about that…"

"Don't tell me. She already checked herself out and got back to work."

His eyes showed his puzzlement. "Yeah, how did—?"

"I used to do the same thing every time I ended up in the hospital," the shinobi replied. "Tsunade tried putting guards at my door but I kept getting out without them noticing. So she resorted to putting me in a windowless room and having me strapped to the bed."

"That's…cruel," Jacob protested.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "If you want to call it that."

"You don't!?"

"I just thought it was her way of making sure that I properly healed. I always got out in a day or two anyway." He paused and his face took on a thoughtful gaze. "You know, I wonder if I still hold that record."

"What record?"

"Most successful escapes from hospital," he answered.

He just stared at the blonde shinobi, almost not believing it. "That actually existed?"

"Yeah, they even gave me a plaque for it." He left the conference room knowing full well that Jacob was trying to figure out whether or not he was joking.

"You're cruel," Gyūki accused him.

"No, he's mischievous," Kurama corrected him. "There's a difference."


He stood in the med bay, looking down at Cuanmiztli. "Well, she looks like shit," Son declared.

"That might be selling it short," Kokuō remarked.

Whether it was being sold short or not, they all could tell that the Hunter did not look good. She was unconscious and had a machine giving her air through a tube. Save for a bra for modesty's sake, her entire torso was bare and slathered with medi-gel, trying to heal the damage caused by the explosion. Her face was slathered too and it all gave her the appearance of being overly oiled. But it was all so she could heal.

"How's she doing?" he asked Dr. Chakwas.

"Can't you look?" Son asked him.

"I want the medical opinion."

"She'll be fine," the doctor assured him, looking from where she was sitting and working. "She just needs to stay in bed and recover from her injuries."

That much he gathered but he was more concerned about the length of time. "How long will she be abed?"

"I would say about a week, maybe two. She caught the brunt of the explosion on her armor but she's still pretty hurt."

"I know that much." He had helped carry her into the medical bay once they were aboard. The armor was damaged by the explosion that the shields were completely destroyed. They had to peel her out of the armor and when that didn't work, they hacked it off. Needless to say, her armor was in shambles and there looked like there was no chance it could be repaired.

"Don't worry, Commander. She'll be fine. She will be here and you two can have a chance to kiss and make up." She paused for a moment and continued. "Well, perhaps not so literally. I think the Pirate Queen of Omega would have something to say about that."

He gave her an eyeful. "It would be along the lines of 'what took you so long?' And what do you mean by that kiss and make up thing?"

"I do have eyes and ears, sir. I've watched how the two of you interacted since we started flying around in this crate. You've gone from avoiding her like the Fire Plague to treating her like she was a barely tolerable cat around the house."

That was a description he had never heard of before. But he could understand what she was trying to say. "I changed my attitude about her that much?"

She nodded. "Yes. That's one thing I've always liked about you, Commander. You care about the soldiers under your command. There are people out there, across all the species, that don't have that kindness in them, only caring about the mission or making sure they live."

"I've known a few of those guys," he replied, thinking back to the war momentarily. "Those were the people who didn't last long."

"There was that one guy from Iwa," Kurama told him. "The one that everyone thought was an ass."

He stifled a groan at the mere mention of that particular shinobi. "Don't remind me. I've done my best to forget him."

"Was he really that bad?" Chōmei asked.

Gyūki nodded his horned head. "Yeah, he was. The nickname that everyone had for him was Slimy."

"Hey!" Saiken protested.

"It's not an offense to you, Saiken. That guy kept getting the people under his command killed, yet he would get away without a scratch. He kept getting off because he technically had finished the mission given and he had the Earth Daimyo's backing."

Naruto kept looking at Cuanmiztli as she laid there in the bed. "You wanna hear something no one else knows, Doc?" he asked from out of the blue.

She looked up from her work. "What?"

"I never wanted to be put in command of anything."

She turned to face him fully. "Really?" she asked him.

He turned his head so he could look at her and nodded. "Yeah, really," he said to her.

"Well," she remarked as she leaned against her chair, "I must admit that is something I did not expect, Commander. You have proven that you know to lead a team and make sure that you get them out alive."

"For the most part," the blonde said with a hint of bitterness, looking down at the Hunter but thinking about Kaidan.

Dr. Chakwas winced slightly at his words. Talking about he was able to bring the team while standing before a bed that held an injured member was a little weak. But she did not apologized for her words nor did she try to take them back. If she did that, it would've sounded weak and pathetic. "You bring them home," she told him. "That is what counts for a leader."

"I never wanted to be a leader, not when the war started," he replied. "When Tsunade first told me that I would take command of a squad for a mission, I asked her if we could speak alone. Once we were, I got on my hands and knees and begged her to reconsider the idea, to put someone else in charge."

"You begged the Hokage? You who all the history books famous state that whenever you were with Lady Tsunade, you called her Granny?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I begged. I thought that there had to be someone else more qualified, more trained, more able to lead a squad. I was a Genin in my first war. I didn't think that I would be able to make the right choices. I thought that I would get everyone killed. I told all of this to Tsunade."

"What did she say?"

That was a moment that he wasn't going to forget any time soon. "At first, she told me flat out that my request was refused. I didn't move from my spot on the ground and begged her to do it. She told me to get out of the office and get to work. I stayed in that spot, waiting, hoping for her to change her mind and put someone else in charge. If she had kicked me out of the room, I would've walked right back in and continued my plea."

"Did she kick you out?"

"No, she didn't. She got out of her chair, walked around the desk, got me back up onto my feet, and pulled me in for a tight hug. She told me that she knew what I was going through, that during the Second Shinobi World War, Jiraiya had gone through the same kind of worrying while she and Orochimaru had thought that they were ready. It turned out that he was the best leader out of the three of them and she knew that I would be just the same."

"Oh. Oh my," she said. What else could she say?

"Yeah," he agreed. "What else can you say to that?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"Nothing came to mind for me either. So I had no choice but to accept her command. The mission was a success and I didn't get anyone killed." He grimaced. "Unfortunately, that's also when the Suicide Wagon was invented."

She had heard of the Suicide Wagon and chose not to comment on it. "Do you miss Jiraiya?" she asked him.

He looked at her with slight disbelief. "Of course I miss him. I miss them all." He would gladly sacrificed all of his chakra just for the chance to travel back in time and see them all again.

"I gathered that," she acknowledged, "But Jiraiya would've been your first personal loss. That one always manages to stick with you."

He thought about Haku and Zabuza's death, back on that bridge. They might've been the first deaths he had witness, but Jiraiya's death was something that had hit closer to home and it was made worse by the fact that there was no body found, not even after he had been sealed away. "Yeah, it did," he admitted.

"Would you be surprised if I told you he had descendants?"

"…What?"

"He had descendants."

He blinked once, then twice. "He what?" he couldn't help but ask.

Kurama rolled his eyes. "Gaki, you're repeating yourself. And really, are you that shocked?"

In hindsight, he shouldn't be surprised. He took a moment to stop and breathe, getting back into a semblance of control. Once he was certain that he was there, he looked back at the doctor. "Sorry for the outburst."

She smiled at him. "Trust me, Commander," she said reassuring. "That had to be the mildest outburst I've seen yet. But were you really surprised by that news?"

"I know I shouldn't be, considering his reputation. But it had taken me a while to figure out that he actually did sleep with women. Before that, I had assumed that every woman he tried flirting with would disregard him or just punch him on instinct." Kami knew he had seen Tsunade do it to him enough times.

"So you never met any of his children?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't think he even knew that they existed."

"He did. The history books write that each of the 73 children he had sired had met him at least once before he died in Ame. Some of them would've only been babies and not remembered it, but their mothers did."

"I expect they would," he said almost absently before latching onto a single detail. "Wait, 73 kids? He was a father to 73 kids!?"

"Yes," she said with a nod. "It was quite the record in its time. Granted, this wasn't done all in one year. It was spread out throughout his life, starting when he was in his thirties."

Naruto couldn't believe it. He simply could not believe it. "That Super Pervert had been sleeping around for that long and I never knew about it?!" he couldn't but ask himself.

"And you thought that he was just peeping on the women in the bathhouses," Kurama told him, very amused by how his Jinchūriki had reacted.

Shukaku said, "You gotta wonder if he was any good or not."

"Oh, gross! I did not need that image in my head, Shukaku!" Naruto shouted at him as he tried to purge the thought of his teacher in bed with a woman. That was going to give him nightmares, he just knew it.

"It had to be asked."

"No it didn't!"

"Well, he had 73 children," Isobu spoke, thinking it over. "I would have to say that makes him a good lover."

"He could've paid for some of those women."

Kurama shook his head. "Never would've happened. Jiraiya might've been a complete and utter lech but the only time he paid a woman was either for services to his spy ring or to accompany him for a night of drinking. Even then he respected them."

"Please stop talking about it now," Naruto all but begged the nine of them. To try and distract the conversation, he kept talking to Dr. Chakwas. "What happened to them all?"

"It was Lady Tsunade who discovered them after the Reforging," she began. "She got a little tipsy one night and decided to wander around the streets. When she came upon a merchant's stand from outside the village, she saw a young man helping his mother sell the wares. She thought she was seeing Jiraiya again, back in their prime."

"He looked like him?"

"The spitting image apparently, except that he had his mother's eyes. She didn't see that and demanded how he had come back to life. He got nervous and the mother ordered her away, which she ignored. The ANBU ended up having to drag her away from the stand."

He winced at the thought. "Ooh, not a good thing." To be dragged away by your own in ANBU in the middle of the street was embarrassing. He hoped for her sake that she didn't remember the details completely.

"Indeed," she agreed.

"Was that it?"

"No. The next morning, when Lady Tsunade was sober again, she had the merchant and her son brought to her. The details of that meeting aren't exact, but what we do know is that Tsunade apologized for what she had done, the son was revealed to be Jiraiya's, and she sent out an order to Konoha Chūnin to track down and bring the rest of his children to the village. The descendants still live there as a clan. You'd like them."

That struck him as something odd to say. Did she think that just because they came from Jiraiya that he would automatically like them? "Why's that?" he asked her before a frown wrinkled his face. "They're not all Super Perverts, are they?" One had been bad enough, he didn't a whole clan.

"Not that I am aware, but they have honed your Oiroke no Jutsu to such an extent that they are considered the masters of it."

"Good Kami save me," Kurama groaned, clasping his eyes with his paw. "That was something I didn't need to hear."

Naruto wasn't the same reaction. He was actually more intrigued. "Really?" he asked Dr. Chakwas.

"Yes, really," she replied. "I had a friend once in medical school from that clan. She kept transforming into a man to help me understand it better."

"Oh." That was something he didn't expect to hear and he was certain that it showed on his face.

She saw the surprised and smiled. "I take it you never thought of transforming into a beautiful man when you used it?"

He shook his head. "No, I was more focused getting the men caught off guard. When I did get around to thinking about using it on women, Kurama refused to let me do it in peace and the others kept telling me if I wanted to stop the ladies dead in their tracks, all I'd have to do was take off my shirt." A bitter, but also nostalgic chuckle escaped his lips. "Being the thick-headed dobe that I was, I didn't really figure out what they were talking about until the village had that wet T-shirt contest and even then I didn't get the full gist of it."

"That's because you ran like a rabbit once you realize that the women were eyeing you like you were a piece of prime meat," Kurama reminded him. "I'm fairly certain more than a few of them had been handsy the next couple of days."

"Can we not talk about that? I still embarrassed of that day." He was just glad that his doctor wasn't drooling at what he just described to her. That would've been weird.

"Uh, Commander?" spoke Joker from the intercom.

"Thank you, Kami," he said in relief at the chance for a distraction. "What's up, Joker?"

"Are you busy?" He sounded nervous and a little on edge.

"Not really, what's up?"

"Well…" he drew out the word like he was trying to either find the right words or stall.

Naruto would've given him an eyeful if they were in the same space. So instead he just opted for a no-nonsense voice. "Joker, what's going on?"

"It seems that Ruko and Miranda are in the middle of a…disagreement in Miranda's office," he finally told him.

"And the saga of Ruko and Miranda goes on," Son declared in a solemn voice.

"You were saying something about thanking Kami?" Chōmei asked his Jinchūriki, humor seeping into his voice.

Naruto scowled inwardly at them. "Shut up, the lot of you," he told them.

"Hey!" Shukaku protested.

Matatabi was just as offended. "We didn't say anything."

"I know. I'm preventing you from saying anything ahead of time."

"Commander, can you head it off before they tear out a bulkhead?" Joker asked him, bringing him out of his own head.

"Yeah, I'll take care of it. Thanks for letting me know, Joker."

"Take pictures!" The intercom went dead before the blonde could say anything in reply.

"Sorry," he apologized to Dr. Chakwas.

"Don't be," she told him as he went for the medi-bay door. "I'll let you know how Cuanmiztli turns out."

"Thanks." He left the medi-bay and headed for Miranda's office. He was glad that they were on the same level. It cut time getting there down by a good amount and would ensure that less damage would be inflicted.

The first thing he heard as he approached the door and it opened was Ruko shouting "Touch me and I'll smear the walls with you, bitch!" as she threw a chair with her biotics at Miranda. She just dodged the chair with ease and eyed the blonde woman coolly.

"Alright, that's enough!" he said, getting in between the two of them. "Miranda, you're supposed to be in the medical bay recuperating."

"I am perfectly fine," she retorted. "I don't need to waste time in the medical bay."

"You can't say anything unless you want to be known as a hypocrite," Kurama told him.

He knew that. He also knew that she knew of his track record in regards to hospitals. Hell, he was all but certain it had been public knowledge when he wasn't around. He looked over at Ruko. "What are you doing up here, anyway?" he asked her. "You usually stay down in the engines."

"Hm, fitting," Miranda remarked coldly. "It's where she belongs."

"I'm going to kill you!" Ruko shouted at her. Her biotics flared red and she looked ready to attack again. But her brother stood in her way and he looked like he wasn't going to move anytime soon. "Get out of the way, Naruto."

"You put that biotic power out, now," he ordered. He waited until she had done just that and asked her again, "What are you doing up here?"

"I came up here to see how she was doing," she all but spat as she glared daggers at Miranda. "When the doc told she was already gone, I got concerned. I went to go see her but she decided to like her usual frigid bitchy self."

"I didn't need your concern," Miranda told her. "Not when there is work to be done."

"I was trying to be nice! You're the one who told me to fuck off."

"And that's what led to the fight?" Naruto asked.

"No, it was more than that," his sister said, still glaring. "The cheerleader wouldn't admit what the Akatsuki did to me was wrong when it came up."

"You brought it up all by yourself," she retorted, folding her arms. "It wasn't the Akatsuki. Not really. But clearly you were a mistake. Perhaps it should've been Alpha who got away free instead of you."

"Screw you!" She got around Naruto and got in close to her face, her lips peeled back into a snarl. "You have no idea what they put me through!" She brought a finger up and tapped her on the nose. "Maybe it's time I showed you!"

"Get that finger out of my face," Miranda told her.

"Why should I?" The finger stayed there and tapped her on the nose again.

"I said get it out of my face."

"No. What are you going to do about it? Whine and complain that it's somebody else's fault, not yours? That seems to be your favorite tactic."

"Get it out of my face, now!"

"Make me!"

Naruto got between them and pulled them apart. "Okay, that's it," he said to them both, holding them both by their hands. "I've had it with the two of you dancing around the subject."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ruko demanded.

Even though she didn't agree verbally, the look on Miranda's face was all that was needed. "There is no subject that we are—"

"Shut up, the both of you," he told them. "If you're not going to do anything about it, I will."

The Kyūbi knew instantly what he was planning to do and groaned. "You're doing that again? Why? Why are you doing it?"

"You got a better idea?" the blonde shinobi asked him.

"Let them fight it out?"

"Yeah, in the middle of a ship," he replied with dry sarcasm, "Brilliant idea there, furball. You'll have to forgive me if I don't go for it instantly. I was already got in the middle of an exploding ship. I don't want to repeat the process."

The two women looked at him like he had lost his mind, even more so when he started dragging them towards the door. "Hey, the fuck are you doing, Naruto?" Ruko demanded, trying to pull herself free of his grip.

Miranda was the same but his grip was like an iron vice. There was just no escaping from it. "Commander, let me go," she ordered him.

"No." He pulled them out of the office and all but frog-marched them to the elevator. The crew members that were there watched this happened but didn't say anything. If they did it was quite likely that they would get their asses kicked by one, if not all three of them. Ruko and Miranda also wondered what was going on.

When they got into the elevator and the door closed, Miranda dared to speak. "Commander—"

"Hush," he told her without preamble, cutting her off.

"Sir—"

"I said hush." In a quick motion, he let go of her hand, hit the button for the deck he wanted, and grabbed hold of her again before she could do anything.

Ruko looked at the button he pushed. "Why are we—?"

"Hush."

"Oh come—"

"I said hush."

"What the fuck?" she demanded as the elevator stopped and the door opened. "You can't keep telling us to hush."

"Yes, I can. Now move it." He walked the short distance from the elevator to his cabin's door. Once it opened, he pushed them in.

They stumbled as they were pushed but recovered and looked back at him. "Commander, what is going on?" Miranda demanded sounding very agitated.

"I'm locking you in my cabin," he told her, folding his arms across his chest.

"Stupid brother says what now?" Ruko asked with a look of surprise and outrage.

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you. But you're still not making any sense!"

"Then allow me to completely and utterly blunt. The two of you are going to stay in this cabin until you've both figured out whatever it is that's going on between you. You're not going to step out until it's resolved."

"Are you—?"

"Ah Ah!" he snapped, holding his hand out in front of her. "I don't want to hear it."

Miranda looked like she was about to blow her top. "Commander, this is completely—"

"Miranda, at this point, I don't care what it seems like to you. You have ample opportunity to deal with this yourselves. But since you're being too pigheaded about it, you've forced me to do this. EDI, close and lock the door."

She snapped her head upwards. "EDI, don't you dare—!" Whatever she was going to say next got off when the door snapped closed and glowed red.

"Disregard any orders to open the door from inside that room," he continued.

"Of course, Commander," EDI replied.

He leaned in and banged on the door loudly. "Get to it!"

"Was that last part really necessary?" Isobu asked him as he turned around and walked away.

"Yes," he replied, getting in the elevator. All of a sudden, he was glad he had talked to Mordin before going to the medical bay. When the elevator opened, he almost ran into Samara. "Whoa, sorry about that," he told her as he backed up.

"There is no need to apologize, Commander," she replied smoothly. "We did not run into each other nor did we cause one another to fall. Everything is quite alright."

"Okay, I'll be on my way then."

"Actually, Commander," she said, stepping alongside him as he got out of the elevator. "I was hoping to speak with you for a moment."

"Sure. What's up? You wanna a spar again?"

A slight twitch of her lips could've been seen as a small smile. "I believe that your pilot has threatened to throw me out an airlock if I ever 'tear up my baby,' as he put it."

"Huh, guess it seems like the story of our first meeting got around to the crew."

"It would appear so."

"Ah, well," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Nothing we can do about it now. What do you want to talk about then?"

"Have you seen Ruko? She is late to her lesson, something that I have to make sure she does not do."

"You're on your own for this one," Gyūki declared.

"Yeah, we've seen how frighten Ruko looks when she realizes that she's about to be late," Son agreed. "Have fun with this."

He mentally rolled his eyes at them. He didn't think that Samara would be that dangerous if it came to lateness. But still, he had to be upfront with her. "Sorry, that was my fault."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "And why is it your fault?"

"She and Miranda are having issues, so I locked them in my cabin until they figured it out."

She looked at him for a long second, completely silent. He didn't know what it was trying to find from looking at him that way but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. Finally, she nodded and said, "I see."

"You do?"

"Yes. I had known love before."

"Oh." He paused for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly to say in reply. "Probably not that kind of love," he finally said.

Chōmei groaned at those words. "Naruto, you're talking to an asari! I think it's safe to say that she knows all kinds of love out there!"

The Justicar just smiled. "I'm sure that I have. The sight of the two of them is quite obvious."

"See?"

"I heard it the first time. No need to beat it over my head!" he told the Nanabi. "Right, sorry," he apologized to Samara.

She waved it away. "Think nothing of it."

"How is Ruko's training coming along, anyway?" he asked, curious to know. He walked away from the elevator and headed for the bar room, wanting to relax a little bit.

"It comes along well." She paused and her face took on an expression that looked both annoyed and thoughtful. "She is one of the more unique pupils I have taught."

To him, unique was a word that could be one thing or another. It could either be good or bad as we as also having varying degrees to it. "What does that mean to you?"

"At first glance, she is a stubborn who does not seem to understand the principals of biotics I try to impart to her, often swearing to a high degree in frustration. But once she is shown the practice, she takes to it like a fish to water, becoming proficient in a matter of hours and often trying to make variations of the technique."

To that, he could only laugh. It wasn't a surprise to him. "Don't worry, Samara," he assured her as they neared the door. "That's something you're going to have to get used to."

"I already am beginning to do so. But you do not seem to be surprised by it. Why?"

"She's my clone, so she's me. She learns the same way I do."

She regarded him with a cool look of curiosity with a slight confused tinge to it. "Could you explain that?"

"Sure. I'll be perfectly honest with you, Samara. I'm not much of a thinker." He waited a beat for the snarky comment from the furball. But he heard nothing so he kept on talking. "I was never much for the theory part of learning, so all the teaching in the Academy pretty much flew over my head. But if you showed me how to do something and then had me do it, I'd figure it out. Not right away, but I'd figured it out."

She listened attentively to his explanation as they walked through the door. The bar was empty, so she walked to the bar and poured herself a drink. "I see," she finally told him. "I do believe that this is the first time I've heard of such a thing."

He sat down at the bar. "Really?" he asked her. "Have you ever taken on a human pupil?"

"No," she admitted with a shake of her head. "The few pupils that I have taken were asari who wished to become Justicars. Ruko is the first human I have taken under my wing."

He took a glass and raised it. "Pour me?" She poured him some of her drink and he took a sip. It wasn't sake or any other kind of drink he had had before. It was kind of fruity, but not any kind of fruit that he had before, and it also had a very good kick to it.

"You should talk to her about the file," Son told him.

He paused, looking at the glass for a moment. Son had a point. But if he was honest, he didn't want Samara on his team. She was just doing fine on the ship, teaching Ruko. Still, he respected her and it was worth talking to her. "Samara, what do you know about the mission that we're on?"

She took a sip of her own drink. "I know that you, your ship, your crew, and your team are engaged in a silent war on the side of the Akatsuki against the Tribe of Athame. That is enough for me."

"And what if I told you that our mission changed? That now we're going to go up against the Collectors?"

"It still would not change a thing. It would be enough for me."

"You're not curious?"

She looked him straight in the eye and spoke with utter seriousness. "When you live by a code that compels you to harsh action, you learn the damages of curiosity. If I must kill a man because he has done wrong, do I really wish to know that he is a devoted father?"

"Ooh, headscratcher," Saiken declared.

Shukaku shook his head. "Not really."

Naruto agreed with the tanuki. Not with the question itself but where he was going with it. He told the Justicar. "I knew a few shinobi who'd call you an idiot for ignoring a piece of critical information." She put her glass down on the counter and looked at him steadily. He raised his hand up quickly. "I said I knew, not me personally."

"But what would you do?" she asked him.

He looked down at the glass in his hand. "If it was me, I would learn the fact that the man had a daughter but I would pray to Kami that I would not have to use it."

The look remained steady but she seemed a little less dangerous now. "You would learn the fact and yet restrain yourself from using it until you have no other option?"

"It was how I was taught."

"So you have assassinated many people then?"

He gave her a long look. "Are you going to come after me if I say yes?"

She shook her head briefly. "I will not. I was not there to witness those acts and therefore, I would not be able to give them justice."

"I see. Well, in any case, you can relax. I didn't assassinate anyone, I just a lot of observation missions."

"That is not the same thing."

"It's the next step. Observation is learning all that you can about your target. Assassination is taking that knowledge and applying to the best outcome," he recited with ease. "How to arrive at that outcome is your making."

"That sounds like a tenant one must learn and know fully," she remarked.

"Oh yeah, but it wasn't something I learned from the Academy. I got from Jiraiya." He paused at the mention of his old sensei and thought of something that was a little off-track. "Would you have killed him if you had met him?"

She took a small sip of her drink, her lips quickening slightly. "I believe that it is the first time someone has asked me that question in regards to Jiraiya."

It was obvious that she had known about the Toad Sage. It seemed like every asari knew of the man and his books. But before now, he had never asked an asari that question. Then again, none of those asari had been a Justicar. "You didn't answer my question."

"Does it matter?" she asked. "The man has long been dead. To talk about it would not do anything worthwhile."

"Hey, that guy was my sensei."

"I do not rebuke that," she replied coolly. "I only said that answering if I would've killed him if I had met him would be pointless."

He took another drink from his cup. When it was empty, he reached for the bottle to refill it himself. Samara stopped his hand with a gentle brush of hers and took the bottle herself. He watched quietly as she filled his glass again. "I can do that myself, you know,"he told her as she put the bottle back.

"As I am standing behind the counter, I am the host. Since I am the host, it is right for me pour your drink," she said.

"That's a little weird," Saiken remarked.

"You said it," Gyūki agreed.

"I wonder where she gets it," Matatabi said questioningly. "Do you think it's from this code all the Justicars follow?"

"Might be," Kurama acknowledged. "There's one way to find out. Naruto," he started.

"No need to tell me what to do, Kurama," the shinobi replied. "I'm already on it." He could admit to being curious about the asari Justicar. He might've read a few passages about them back on Thessia but it never hurt to ask one of them to their faces. "Can you tell me about the Justicars, Samara?" he asked her outright.

She didn't pause as she drank from her cup. Only when it pulled away from her lips then she said, "Of course." She set it down and began to explain. "We hold a unique place in asari culture. Justicars are from another era."

He snorted a little at that. "So am I."

"Commander, you asked to explain what the Justicars are. I assumed that would be without interruptions?" Again her facial expression didn't change but he got the impression that she would exasperated if he kept it up.

"Right, sorry," he apologized straight away. "Continue on."

"Thank you."

"Tell me about your Code." That seemed like as good a place as any to start.

"It is five thousand sutras, and covers every situation one can encounter. I have memorized every word. There is only the Code."

That sounded like a prayer if he had ever heard one. But he knew that there had to be a few things out there that the Code could not cover. "What about the times when you're faced with a situation that forces you to make a judgement that you're not going to like?"

"I will do as the Code instructs."

"What if the Code doesn't cover it?"

She looked him right in the eye. "Commander, in all my time as a Justicar, not once have I been in a situation that the Code had not written for."

"What about mercy then?" As he talked to her and learned about this Code of hers, he came to the conclusion that if she had been the one to face Pain, she would've executed Nagato without a second thought. "Surely you must know that sometimes it's better to give mercy than justice?"

"The Code does not exist to bring spiritual enlightenment. Its purpose is to punish the wicked and protect the innocent."

That was great and all, but he saw a problem with it. "That's easier said than done."

"Indeed," she acknowledged.

"You know, people seem genuinely nervous around you," he noted, remembering how Ruko hid behind his back when they met her on Illium. "But they also respect you. What's with the conflicting emotions?"

"It's not surprising. We are respected and fear, like we're supposed to be. Young asari grow up watching vids about our adventures. Pure fiction, of course," she added as an afterthought. "But there is a reason for their fear. In this age, people see shades of gray everywhere. The Code of the Justicars is black and white. I might seem a hero to many, but I would kill them all if I had to."

"That's harsh," he said.

"It is the Code."

He wasn't going to argue that point with her, not yet. To him, the Code seemed a bit archaic but it was her way of life. "Just how many Justicars are there in the galaxy?"

"Only a few," she answered, taking a small sip of her drink.

"Why's that? Most asari don't have the stomach for it or something?" From what he's seen of asari in combat, they've got no problems getting into them. Of course they always seemed a bit heavy on the biotics to him.

"That is a way of seeing things. Most asari wish to make the sacrifices necessary to become one of us. And the training has a high causality rate. Of the few pupils I have taught, even fewer have lived to become Justicars."

He eyed her in complete seriousness. "You're not planning on killing Ruko, are you?"

"Do not worry, Commander. I am not training her to be a Justicar," she assured him before getting back to what they were talking about. "It is a life of constant danger. That is why throughout the galaxy, there is only a few of us at any time."

"Geez, why would anyone want to be a Justicar then?"

"…Why did you want to become a shinobi?" she asked after a paused moment.

He took the pause and extended it even further. "I wanted to prove to everyone I wasn't what they thought I was," he finally said. It was the truth, just without the details. He knew that she already knew the details.

"It was a personal matter, not one borne of duty?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Six of one, half a dozen of the other." Sure he initially wanted to become Hokage so people could respect him. But there was also a fact that he was an orphan growing up in a village of shinobi. He couldn't think of any other life he might've taken.

"I see." Again, she paused before saying, "For myself, it's a deeply personal matter. Sometimes the most brutal path is the only honest one."

That sounded like something he shouldn't pry into. "Okay, what do you think about the Justicar personally?"

"I would say that the closet human equivalent is a knight errant, in your medieval lore."

If he hadn't done that big amount of reading on Thessia, he had no clue what that meant. But because he did, he knew that a knight was a warrior of standing in the Frontier during the time of the Iron Kingdom. When the Kingdom became the Empire, the title became more a formality then an actual thing. "That's the Frontier. I'm from the Elemental Countries."

"Then perhaps being compared to a samurai would be a better description."

He was a little surprised by that. "I know you read up on me, but you also read up on the rest of us?"

"Don't act so surprised," Kurama rebuked him. "She's a professional. She knows what she needs to do."

She nodded. "When I knew I must leave asari space again, I studied the history and morals of new species. When I was a maiden wandering the galaxy, humans had not yet arrived."

"And what do you think about humans?"

"You are more individualistic than any other species I have encountered. If three humans are in a room, there will be six options. I like your species; I am curious to see what you will do."

"Thanks, I think." He considered where the conversation could go from there. A thought popped into his head that had him considering instantly. "Samara, do you mind if I pose what possibly could be a difficult question to you?"

"I welcome it."

"I have to give you fair warning, it's a question that is liable to drag you out of the black and white of the Code and into the real world of grey."

She gave him a look that almost seemed amused. "Commander, I am sure I will be able to answer your question within the bounds of the Code."

"Alright, I warned you. Since you read up on me and humanity, I'm assuming that you read up on people I came in contact with."

"Yes."

"So you read up on Itachi Uchiha?"

She nodded. "I did."

"So, considering all that you know of him, what would you have done if you had encountered him?"

She didn't answer right away. She thought for a long time about it. And as she thought, he sat there, waiting for her answer. It would be interesting to see what she had to say. Since she was committed to dispensing justice onto the wicked, it was likely that she would have just killed Itachi outright. But the other side of the coin, Itachi had committed his massacre whilst under orders and in order to protect the village. That was what he thought made her pause.

"Why would you want to ask her that kind of question?" Gyūki asked him.

"I want to see what her answer will be."

"And if it's something that you don't like?"

"There's nothing I can do about that. Itachi's been dead for some time now."

"I believe," Samara began to answer, "That it would depend on the time in his life that I had met him."

"Well?"

"I'm not disappointed, Gyūki," he told the Hachibi. In fact, he was a little curious about her answer. "What makes you say that?"

"It is always easier to see things in hindsight, Commander. The past is much clearer. If I was to judge Itachi Uchiha, it would depend on when I would meet him. If I had met him after the Uchiha clan was massacred, I would've killed him where he stood. If I had learned that he had been put under orders to do so, I would have carried out justice upon the people that had given him the order."

"That's fair enough," he conceded. He took a sip of his drink, finishing it off. "That is if you were able to beat him at all, of course."

She eyed him. "Commander, do you doubt my combat skills?"

"Not at all, Samara," he replied. "I know that you are skilled and trained to have gotten where you are now. But I still think that you'd need a good amount of luck going up against Itachi Uchiha."

"I do not believe in luck. I believe in planning, application, and execution. If I was to go after him, he would die."

"Tell me, Samara, do you know everything about the Uchiha clan's Sharingan?" he asked her, matching her look.

She shook her head. "No, I only know what the Alliance has given the Council."

"And you have only yourself to blame for letting the Council know that they didn't get everything," Kurama told his Jinchūriki.

"When did that become a bad thing? Wait a minute. We weren't even talking about that!"

"I was bringing it up in case you ever try to deny it later on."

"Stop that, I'm trying to focus here," he told the fox before turning his attention back to Justicar on the other side of the bar. "Samara, I will be perfectly honest with you. I know all the secrets of the Sharingan, whether it was from combat or an explanation from Sasuke. I even know how to fight against it without making direct eye contact, thanks to Might Guy. But even having both of those things in my arsenal, I would be hesitant to go up against Itachi Uchiha in actual combat. I don't think he ever really lost a fight."

"He did lose one, against his brother," she reminded him. "It cost him his life."

He smirked a little bit. "You've read the books. I heard it from Sasuke. Both of them say that two of them fought each other. Sasuke never said he won the fight. Itachi had a sickness that he refused to have cured. That was what finally killed him."

"Hmm," she said, drinking a sip from her glass. "You sound almost impressed with the man."

"There's nothing almost about it. I was impressed by Itachi Uchiha, and I was scared of him. Before the truth was revealed, he was known as one of the greatest traitors to the village, right up there with Orochimaru." Thinking back on it, he wondered why he had never picked up on it when he was a Genin. He put it down to his being obtuse, the fact that people were still leery of him, and that Sasuke was his teammate so no one wanted to bring up bad memories. But on account of that, he could say that he wasn't the only one who had been left in the dark.

"That is not a measuring stick you need to use," Kurama told him in slight chastisement.

"No one would tell the new Genin about Itachi," he replied. "We only knew that Sasuke's clan had been wiped out. We didn't know that it was his brother who did it."

"Still, comparing yourself to what others had known about the situation is not something I will condone. So stop while you can."

"As you say, Mom," he said with a slight mocking tone. "Even when the truth was leaked out," he continued to explain to Samara, "There were still old hard-liners who thought that Itachi was a traitor and it was a story to pretty him up and get Sasuke back on the side of the villages. Essentially, they spat on his name. We always had to make sure Sasuke never heard those guys because he would always come to his brother's defense by trying to kill them in broad daylight."

"That would have been the right thing to do," she replied. "Coming to the defense of his brother's memory and legacy is justified."

"Saying that is one thing, actually doing it is another. Besides, the village and the shinobi themselves were still concerned about whether or not Sasuke would turn traitor again. Having him murder other shinobi would not have turned out well. And we needed every man on those battlefields."

"You ask me about Itachi, a man compared to another great traitor, but you don't ask about Orochimaru."

"That's because I would've had no problem with you killing Orochimaru. I did not like that guy," he declared. "You know what? I would go even so far as to say I would've liked to kill him myself."

"Whoa," Kokuō said in surprise. "That's a step for you, Naruto."

"I know."

Samara looked at him still. "If that is what you felt, why didn't you follow through? The man had committed heinous crimes." She had read much on the first Snake Sage, as well as his teammates. She would have killed him the instant she had learned about his crimes.

"Again, we needed every man on the battlefield. And I never spoke it aloud because of that. We got along well enough during the war but we were never friends." He paused for a moment, thinking about how the man lived and died during the war. "The only time I ever felt any kind of sympathy for him was when he was dying and holding his granddaughter to his chest."

"Could you please just cut through the bullshit and talk to her about what the Illusive Man gave you?" Shukaku demanded.

He was a little surprised that it was the tanuki who was losing his temper with him. "What's wrong with a little conversation?"

"There's a little conversation and then there's you doing the runaround. So just get to it already."

Matatabi nodded. "You should get to it already, Naruto. There's no real point in delaying the conversation."

"Alright, alright," he said. "You guys are worse than Kurama sometimes."

"I'd protest that, but it's true," the fox said.

"Samara, there's something serious we should talk about," he said to the Justicar. "Remember I asked about the mission changing around?"

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"Well, the mission's changed around."

"I see. What has changed about it?"

He gave her a look. "Really?" he asked her. "After asking you that kind of question, that's what you say?"

"I will concede that it is obvious. But I would still like to hear it from your own mouth."

He almost growled in agitation but refused to give her the satisfaction. "Instead of going after the Tribe, my team is changing the objective to going after the Collectors. The Illusive Man sent me a few dossiers for people to add to the team."

She listened attentively as he explained. "What does this have to do with me?"

"You're on one of the dossiers."

"I see. If you wish to have me on your team, I will have to swear to you the Third Oath of Subsumation."

He had no idea what that was but he shook his head rapidly. "No, no, there's no need for any kind of oaths."

"Commander, I must swear this oath to you if you wish to have me be a part of your time."

"That's just the thing, Samara. I don't want you on the team."

She went completely still, almost becoming a statue with the way she had frozen. She put the glass in her hand on the counter and pushed it away. Then she looked him right in the eye. "Commander, do you doubt my abilities in a fight?"

He did his best not to burst out laughing or even snicker. "After that conversation?" he asked her. "Come on, Samara. I remember our spar on Thessia. There's no way I could doubt your fighting skills."

"Then why is it you are refusing to let me join you on your mission?"

"Because I feel like it would be dishonest of me, almost like I conned you into it. I brought you onto the ship because you wanted to train Ruko in biotics. That was our understanding. To bring you onto the team feels a little wrong to me." He scratched the back of his head in somewhat embarrassment. "Look, I know it sounds a little foolish and I know I might look a bit like an idiot for telling you this now. But it doesn't sit right with me for having you do something for me when that wasn't the original intention."

She was still standing behind the counter when he finished. She hadn't moved from the spot. "…Very well," she said. "I accept your reasoning."

"You do?" he asked, a little surprised.

"I do," she said, not sounding at all irritated by his obvious question. "You are right. You allowed me to come aboard as a teacher, not as a warrior. To have me be the latter because another man wills it would be unjust."

He breathed in relief. "Thanks for letting me know about that, Samara. Look, if you're personally disappointed about the refusal, I'll make it up to you. If you ever need any kind of help, just let me know and I give you a hand."

She inclined her head a little. "I will take it in consideration."

"Good to hear." He put the glass back down on the counter and hopped down from the stool. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go train Grunt some more."

"I wish you safe health," she told him as he walked out the door.

"Thanks. I might need it."


"Good thing you thanked Samara for that safe health," Kurama commented idly while his Jinchūriki flew backwards and hit the bulkhead with a hard thump! "I don't think you'd be kicking around so much if you hadn't."

"I'd asked if you had any faith in me, but I doubt it right now too," Naruto replied as he pulled himself up from the ground. His back was really hurting from that landing and he just knew that it would be like that for the next couple of hours.

"In any case, you might want to move. He's charging again."

"Yeah, I see that, thank." He threw himself out of the way as Grunt came charging at him with a roar. The krogan slammed into the wall but that didn't even slow him down. "For the love of Kami, what's with him now?"

"How much have you pissed him off lately?" Saiken asked him.

He stepped back away from his student's wild swings. "Not recently," he answered, blocking one of those swings and got a punch in. It didn't even slow the krogan down.

"And that's not a good measuring stick," Gyūki remarked. "A small thing can set Grunt off."

"He attacked Naruto as he walked through the door," Son pointed out. "So unless he didn't like how he smelt, I'd say that nothing set him off this time."

"Excuse me, working here, save the curiosity for later!" He ducked low to avoid the incoming haymaker. He followed the momentum downward into a roll, moving behind Grunt. He came out of it, turned around, and leapt onto his student's back. His arms looped around the krogan's neck and he held on tight.

Grunt's hands instantly shot upwards and dug into his arms, trying to get free. They were strong, like they should've been, but Naruto was tough. It would take more than just strong hands to pry him off. "Grunt, calm down!" he ordered his student.

"I don't think he can hear you," Kurama told him.

"I noticed!" He held on, slowly to get the oxygen cut off so Grunt would get weaker. Grunt fought against his lock. When his hands didn't work alone, he took to trying to shake him off. The blonde's body started swinging through the air but his lock kept him attached. "I said calm down, Grunt!"

"Again, I don't think…" The fox stopped when he realized that Grunt was turning around so he faced the door but his back was aimed at a wall. "Never mind, he can hear you."

Naruto looked back at the wall he was being directed and could only think, "Oh hell." Grunt roared again and backpedaled to the wall. But the shinobi reached it first, swinging his legs up to touch it. They bent, absorbing the contact. Then he pushed off, swinging his body up and over, bringing Grunt down to the ground.

They stayed for the moment, with him holding his student face first on the ground. Grunt kept struggling, trying to get free, but Naruto kept holding him down. "I'm not letting go until you calm the fuck down, Grunt!" he said, keeping his grip tight.

"By the way, does this remind you of anything?" the fox asked him.

"Yeah, I know it's like me fighting Wrex. The only difference is that I'm not getting thrown around like a rag doll."

"So you admit that you were having your ass handed to you."

"I did not say that. I said that I wasn't getting thrown around like a rag doll. There's a difference."

"I think Grunt's finally stopped struggling," Isobu chimed in. "Just letting you know."

Naruto looked down at his student. He did seem to be struggling less now but it remained to be seen how much. "You calmed down yet, Grunt?" he asked the krogan. He didn't get an answer but his student went still.

"Uh, I think you might've just knocked him unconscious," Son noted.

"No, he's not there yet. But if it happens again, I'm going to make sure he does," he replied. "Grunt, kick the floor once for yes, twice for no. Do you understand?" He waited a beat and it paid off. Grunt's left foot rose up and kicked the floor. "Good. Now, you calmed down yet?" He got another kick. "Alright, I'm going to let go and get off you. You try to attack me, you'll be out for the count this time, got it." He got another kick.

He released his grip and got off Grunt, stepping away to a safe distance. From there, he watched as his student got back on to his own feet and stood up. He held there, taking the moment to breathe in deeply. Once he was good, he looked at the human. "Thank you, sensei," he said.

Naruto fixed him with a look. "I know that we're prone to arguing and fighting, Grunt. But that usually happens after I try getting a lesson through your head."

"I know," the krogan said shortly, looking at everything that wasn't him.

Naruto watched his student carefully. What he said was true, they both knew it. If he came out of a lesson without some part of his body in any kind of pain, that would've been a complete and utter surprise. It seemed like every lesson was spent more in arguing and fighting than actual learning.

"That, you can't blame on him," Gyūki told him. "That's on you."

He couldn't wave that away because it was true. He was used to learning at a human level but what Grunt could do with his charka was much lower than that. What he had been able to understand after a few missteps, Grunt just couldn't and would get angry, hence the arguing and the fighting. Naruto had long come to the conclusion that his student wouldn't do much in the way of chakra. Heck, if he was able to do the Academy Three that would be impressive. But he would do the best he could.

Yet, watching his student pace around like an animal trying not to attack everything in sight, made him wonder what was going on with him. "You got something to say, Grunt?" he asked.

The krogan whipped his head at him, his eyes screaming that he wanted to do something bad. "Something," he started to say in a growl. He stopped himself and started again. "Something is wrong, sensei. I feel wrong. Tense. I just want to kill something. With my hands," he added.

"You always have that feeling," he retorted. "If you didn't have a gun in your hands during a fight, you'd go straight for the fists."

"This is different. It's more so than usual, like it's not my choice." He stalked his way over to the nearby window that looked down to the cargo deck. "Like I just want, I don't know…" Without warning, he slammed his head against the glass, cracking it. Naruto didn't react. He was used to such things. Grunt pulled his head away and marched back to him. "See? Why do that? What's wrong?"

"Okeer didn't leave you anything about this?" he asked. He knew that old krogan warlord had imprinted many things onto Grunt. If whatever this was wasn't imprinted, there was cause for concern.

His student shook his head. "I see pictures of old battles, voices of warlords. But this is…a blood haze in my head."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

He went still for a moment. "I want control." He started pacing again. "When we're fighting, moving, I focus. But here, my blood screams, my plates itch, and even you are just noise! I'm tank-born. What is this?"

"I don't know," Naruto told him honestly.

"That is very helpful."

"Watch that sarcasm, Grunt."

"He got it from you," Shukaku reminded him. "So you really can't say about it."

"I wasn't talking to you, Shukaku."

"You are now."

"Just stop talking," Kurama told the tanuki, swatting him with one of his tails.

"Hey! Watch the tail!"

As he usually did, Naruto ignored his tenants and focused on Grunt. "Why don't we ask EDI if she knows anything about?"

"Fine," he grunted.

He raised his eyes to the ceiling. "EDI, I know you're listening in. Well?"

"The Akatsuki has a number of autopsies on file, but nothing on a living krogan," the A.I. answered, "but nothing on a living krogan of this age and situation. Krogan are reluctant to share medical records."

"I wonder why," he remarked to himself.

Grunt had the answer and was all too willing to share it. "My people were defeated by doctors and labs. They will never let stuff like that leave the homeworld, Tuchanka."

"So what you're saying is that we need to go to Tuchanka."

He paused in pace and actually looked…nervous. Wait, maybe nervous wasn't the right word. It could be uneased. "…Yeah, we should go there," he finally said after a long pause.

"Alright then, I'll go tell Joker to head for Tuchanka."

"Thank you, sensei," Grunt said to him. "I don't like this. Fury is my choice, not a sickness."

"That it is," he acknowledged. "Now, let's get to the lesson."

"You're still going to give it? After that little episode?" asked a surprised Son.

"I've been through worse," he replied as he sat down on the floor, crossing his legs. Grunt followed suit but couldn't bend his legs the same way. There was nothing they could do about it since they already figured out that krogan bones were structured differently.

"Trust me, he has," Kurama agreed.

"I can vouch," Gyūki added. Grunt sat down across from the blonde and folded his hands just like he had practiced.


"Yo, Joker," Naruto said as he walked into the cockpit.

"Hey, Commander," his pilot said in return, turning around and flashing a dirty look at the orb that was EDI.

He noticed the look. "Something going on up here?" he asked Joker.

"We're just having an argument over personalization of my workspace, among other things."

"Akatsuki regulations are clear, Mr. Moreau," EDI replied. "'Personalization' does not include grease on my bridge cameras."

"It's just mad that all its footage of me looks like a dream sequence," he retorted. "Besides, it's payback."

"Payback for what?" asked Naruto.

"This thing wanted to fire me over a joke!" he said, throwing the orb a dirty look. "Okay, I said that I'd flashed the A.I. core, but I was kidding. And we'd only lose a few systems. Nosey ones," he added.

"To clarify, human adjustments are not actually under my authority," EDI told Naruto.

"Then why?" Joker demanded. "Why are you always picking on me?"

"My replies were intended to provoke, though not to cause distress. Your reactions are atypical of most humans. You are interesting."

"So you were joking around with him?" Naruto asked the orb.

"Nothing in the restrictions imposed on me forbids active observation techniques. Mr. Moreau's performance actually improves under duress."

Joker snorted. "I never figured the coming overlords would be so annoying," he said. "I'm just, I'm done."

"Alright, you two, this has to stop before you end up crashing the ship," the shinobi of the three of them said sternly. "Could you just let this go?"

"I make no promises," Joker said grudgingly.

"Try. In the meantime, plot a course to Tuchanka."

He lost the grudging look and replaced it with surprise. "We're going to the krogan homeworld? Why?"

"Grunt needs help. Plot the course, Joker, and inform the crew about it."

"Alright," he said as he turned around. "I'll get right on that."

He reached for the intercom and the cockpit came alive with "Oh good Kami yes! Do it! Lick m—!" Just as quickly as it came, it went when Joker turned it off.

Naruto stood completely still, wishing that he hadn't heard what he just did. "Joker, did I just hear my sister?"

The pilot did not turn around to meet his gaze "Yes."

"And she was doing what I think she was doing?"

"Yes."

"And the entire ship heard it?"

"Yes."

He covered his face in his hands and groaned. "This is going to be bad." It also didn't help the fact that Shukaku was laughing his brown sandy ass off in his head. Then he remembered something. If the intercom was to be directed to a single area on the ship, Joker would do it from his console. Otherwise it would just be a general ship broadcast. That meant… "Joker, were you listening in on Ruko and Miranda before I walked in here?" Joker still didn't turn around to look at him. "Joker…"

"I thought they were going to just fight," he blurted out before the blonde could finish.

It was EDI who summed up the situation he was in perfectly with a question. "Would you like me to contact next of kin to inform them of your impending death, Mr. Moreau?"


Codex Entry (Humanity and the Systems Alliance): HEADBAND

Also known as a hitai-ate or a forehead protector, the headband of the Shinobi is in and of itself a symbol of the Shinobi, at one time showing pride in their clan, which progressed into pride in their village, and then the Shinobi Alliance as a whole.

The components of the headband are relatively simple, a band of cloth with a metal plate attached (although that came with the formation of the hidden village system). The cloth can be done in a variety of colors and can be worn in different ways as well. But the metal plate always has the symbol of the village inscribed upon it.

To wear the headband of their village was matter of pride for shinobi. Some had even seen not wearing it to be disgraceful, although there were many recorded shinobi who did not wear the headband. To have the headband taken away would often be seen as shameful to the wearer and there are numerous records of disgraced shinobi giving their lives to regain the honor of bearing the headband. Missing-nin, or rogue shinobi, who managed to take their headbands with them when they betrayed their village were known to carve a scratch across the symbol to declare their lack off allegiance.

At first there were many symbols for the different villages but when the Shinobi Alliance was formed, the plates used from the Fourth Shinobi World War were put into mass use. The reason for this move was because the symbol of the aforementioned plate was the Elemental kanji for Shinobi. This stayed permanent when the Shinobi Alliance transformed into the Human Alliance. By the time the Human Alliance became the Systems Alliance, the headband had become more ceremonial than practical.

In this day and age, the Alliance holds the right of giving any of its soldiers a headband to be a reward on par with being rewarded the Palladium Star or the Galactic Unit Citation. The last recipient of a headband was Rear Admiral Jon Grissom for pioneering early Alliance mass relay travel and for delivering the decisive blow that ended the Battle of Shanxi. However, there have been some parties lobbying for General Williams (former Uchiha) to receive a headband.


End

Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews you've sent me.

If you're wondering how Naruto and the team will get around while also avoiding the Collectors, it will be addressed in the next chapter. I wanted to bundle it with the talk Naruto's going to have with Mordin.

Look, I know that Jiraiya is and will always be a Super Pervert. But you have that in the rules of the cosmos, with all his skirt chasing he'd have to end up becoming a father at least once. As for the number, all I can say is that some of them would've been twins, triplets, or quadruplets.

I'm not sure if it says anything about Justicar having to stay sober all the time. But I gotta figure as serious as she is, Samara doesn't mind a drink now and then. While on the matter of the Justicar, I think it would've been a little bit interesting to see her interact with Itachi. They seem really similar to me.

I'll see you all next chapter!