A/N: My thanks as always for your thoughts! An additional note to give credit where due, the "somebody" Faith refers to at one point in this chapter is Jeff Buckley (from the song "Lover, You Should Have Come Over").


Faith didn't move, her hands frozen in their compromising position, uncertain of themselves. She hazarded a glance up at Buffy's face. The blonde's eyes were still screwed shut from the climax she'd been on her way to, but red-rimmed now and wet with tears. Her mouth was still making that persistent rejection of "no, no, no." It took a moment before Faith could talk through her own cotton mouth.

"Alright, so I'm pretty sure I'm not doin' this wrong, and I sorta pride myself on my skills, or at least I ain't heard any complaints and, anyway...." Her rambling trailed off as those green eyes flickered open underneath her, their pupils dilated. Faith let out a breath, moving her hands up to flutter uselessly before she clamped them to her side where they wouldn't look so out of their element. "B? You okay?"

"Faith?" The dark slayer watched as Buffy struggled to focus. "Faith, is that—?"

"Yeah, in the naked flesh, last time I checked."

The older slayer stared down as if she needed to check, too, nonetheless. She found the other girl's hip bone and held on to it. Her eyes were still wide and dark. "They told me...they told me you weren't real."

"Wait...time-out. Who said what now?"

"The doctor. Mom."

A pause. "Okaaay, now I'm sure I'm missing somethin' because it just sounded like you said your mom and she's...well, she was a great lady and all but she's, um, you know, dead, so I'm thinkin' you must mean—"

Buffy cut her off, insistent. "No! It was her. She was there! I was just—" She stopped abruptly, her eyes looking wherever that there was.

The younger slayer wasn't sure what to say to that. She knew Buffy didn't want her to point out the obvious reason why her mom couldn't have been there again. And the thousand-yard stare was kind of freaking her out. Faith sat up on the bed, folding her legs Indian-style, the cap of each knee touching Buffy's side. "S'okay, B." She smoothed those wild blonde locks out of her face. "Maybe you should back up or somethin'."

Buffy just blurted it out. "I'm in an institution. A mental hospital." She ran a hand across her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I mean I was. Or anyway I keep finding myself there."

A laugh caught in Faith's throat until she realized the other girl was serious. She swallowed it back down, choking on it "You're not— Fuck...I mean, that's not—" Every time she started, she didn't know how to end it. So instead she reached over to yank her t-shirt back over her head, slip on some boxers. Getting dressed. That she could do. "Alright, hold that thought...we gotta get G-man and all them for this." Her brain was running miles ahead of her, so she didn't see the other girl's panicked look when she moved, didn't see her putting on her own clothes, tank top inside-out. Didn't notice until she flung the door open at the top of the stairs and saw Buffy flatten herself quickly against the wall a few steps below Faith, out of the slant of afternoon sun coming in. "Oh, shit! Shit! B, I didn't mean.... You can't go out there! You know that!"

There was no comprehension for a moment in Buffy's eyes. Then: "Oh. Right." Her vampire knew it, even if she'd forgotten. One of her fangs pricked the inside of her lip. She was horrified to taste the blood. She looked up at Faith from the shadows. "Hurry."


"Is this something to do with that pointy demon guy? 'Cause I knew he was gonna be trouble."

They all stomped down the stairs to arrange themselves in a tight semi-circle, a small-looking Buffy in the middle, sitting on the edge of her bed. Dawn reached over to tuck in the tag sticking out of the back of her sister's tank top, only to realize the whole shirt was inside-out. She debated mentioning it, then left it alone, taking Buffy's hand in her hand instead.

Faith sat on the blonde's other side, drawing in deeply on a cigarette. She wasn't going to go outside and miss this, so they would just have to deal. Buffy had the advantage of not breathing.

The blonde thought she could hear the doctor's voice in the background: "Possibilities for a full recovery, but we have to proceed cautiously...."

"Well, Xander, perhaps we can just take this one step at a time. Buffy, Faith said there was some reason for concern?"

The blonde slayer's head jerked up at his question. Faith silently thanked the older man for not revealing that she had sounded a little more frantic than "some reason for concern" would suggest. Hand it to the Brits.

"I was like— No, it wasn't like. I was in an institution. There were doctors and nurses and other patients and...." She trailed off, glancing over at Dawn. "Anyway, they told me I was sick. Crazy. That all this—Sunnydale, I mean, this—none of it was real."

Xander scoffed. "Oh come on! That's ridiculous! What, do you think this isn't real because of the vampires and the ex-vengeance demons and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?" He paused, frowning at himself.

"I know. But that's what they said. And it was so real...."

"Hey, it's like the madwoman in the attic. Except she's in the basement." Everyone stared at Anya. "I've been reading Jane Eyre." Everyone still stared. "It was just a comment."

Giles cleared his throat. "Yes, well, kindly keep it to yourself next time." He readjusted his glasses. "Now, Buffy, you say it was a mental institution you were in?"

The blonde slayer nodded, the long waves of blonde falling around her face.

He nodded, thoughtfully. "Well, the timing does seem to suggest some connection with the demon. A poison, perhaps?"

"So this thing pokes her with its poison and, instead of being really, like, crazymaking, it actually makes you think you're a crazy person?" Dawn looked around. "Did that make sense?" Giles nodded, Willow gave her a so-so sign. "What is this, like, the world's more specific demony poison or something? Wouldn't it be easier to just make her go nuts? Why go through all the trouble of making her feel like she's all one-flew-over-the-cuckoo's-nest?"

Giles took the time to clean his glasses. "I'm not certain, Dawn. We'll have to start by looking up demons whose poisons are known to have hallucinogenic properties. It's quite possible that the poison merely picks up on internal instabilities."

Faith snorted. "Boy, did they get the wrong slayer."

Buffy turned to face her, frowning. "It's not so far-fetched, you know."

From the other side, Willow reached over to take Buffy's hand, realizing that no one had really said it yet. "You're not in an institution. You've never been in an institution."

Buffy looked down at her hands. "Yes, I have."

Dawn and Faith almost came off the bed, talking simultaneously. "What the fuck?" and "When?" Giles just looked at her sadly: "Oh, Buffy."

The blonde plowed on. "They took me to one once, when I was talking about vampires and stuff, right at the first."

"No way! Ow—shit!" The cigarette fell out from between Faith's lips and, toppling down, burned her inner thigh. She pinched the skin hard between her fingers so she couldn't feel the burn. "Did anybody know about this?" She scanned the room, but saw only shocked faces.

Dawn's face most of all. "You never said anything." It was barely a whisper. "You said 'they.' Mom and Dad? They did that?"

"They weren't trying to— They were just worried something was wrong."

Dawn stared at her for a moment. "They're there, aren't they?"

"Where?" Xander didn't quite get it.

But Buffy did. She nodded. "Both of them. Together."

"Shit." Faith let out a low whistle. Dawn couldn't say anything.


"...an intricate latticework to support her primary delusion...."

The doctor was talking. The faces of her mother and father swam on either side of her. Buffy blinked, frowning.

"That's not— How could I make this up?" She shook her head furiously. "I mean, that. How could I make that up?"

Her mom wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "We know you didn't mean to, honey. It's not your fault."

The doctor steepled his fingers on the desk in front of him. "It's a simple matter of creating one thing, and then another follows from that, to provide context and soon you have an entire world that needs ever more fanciful enemies."

Buffy had tears in her eyes. "But...why would I make it like that? Why would I make myself a vampire?" Holding on to her mother. "Why would I have you die?"

"All of it...it's not as comforting as it used to be, is it, Buffy?"

"But it's not all— Dawn...you'd be so proud of her, Mom! She misses you! And Faith! I love her and it's so good to finally have—"

"Someone who can be like a family? Sweety, you have a family here. We love you no matter what."


"B!" Faith squeezed Buffy's hand, and the basement came back into focus.

Dawn was still staring at her sister. "I wasn't there, was I?"

Her sister looked over at her, eyes brimming, shaking her head as she cupped the girl's cheek. "They said—"

"Wait...none of us are real...there, I mean?" Xander reached out and took Anya's hand in his. Xander, Willow, and Giles glanced over at Faith.

The dark slayer shrugged. "Don't look at me. I knew I wasn't gonna be there."

Buffy frowned over at her again. "That doesn't mean—"

Willow broke in, clapping her hands. "Okay! All in favor of research. Right, motion carried. Faith and Xander, why don't you hit the demon bars...Dawn, you and Tara and I can hop on-line. Giles and Anya, you guys can take the old fashioned route."


Faith lit up another cigarette as they walked, busying herself with the lighter.

"That's just crazy— I mean...well, you know what I mean. About Buff." Xander walked beside the silent slayer, giving her a sideways look to see how she was taking it.

She took it by not saying anything, just inhaling and exhaling.

So Xander was the poster boy for persistence. "And who would have thought her parents tried to put her away?"

"I should be there."

"Well, I don't think her parents knew—"

She leveled a look at him.

"Oh, right." He glanced over. She was looking straight ahead then, dark and remote. "You want to be in an institution?"

Another look. "No, dumbass. I'm just sayin' it shoulda been me." A pause. "Not her."

He thought he knew the answer but thought he ought to ask anyway. To be polite. "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"

This time she didn't even bother with the look. As if it was so obvious, it was only worth an eye roll. "In case you missed the memo, I'm the psychotic one."

"Yeah." He rolled his eyes in turn. Two people could play at that one. "Hello. It's three years ago. They want their drama back."

She glanced over sharply at that.

He went on, sighing, wishing he had his own cigarette. And that he smoked. And that he could look as sexy as she did doing it. "Faith, you don't have to be the bad one, and you don't have invest everything in making her the good one." He made sure she was looking at him. "That's bound to disappoint everybody."

Faith just sniffed. "That's just the way it is, Xan-man."

"No, it's not. But you're upset because Buffy being crazy doesn't fit into the little box you're trying to put her in, and you're afraid that might mean you've got to be the good one, and you think you don't know how to do that." He had to take a breath after that one, and mentally scored himself one point.

Faith just stared and him and went back to her cigarette.

"You know, the slayer before you, Kendra—"

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me of my mortality."

Xander frowned. "Don't give me that. You get off on your mortality because you think it frees you to do what you want." She frowned in turn into the smoke. He went on. "So, anyway, Kendra, she shows up and she's pretty much Ms. Rule Follower. Like a little Giles. Seriously. And next to her Buffy looks like a big slacker." Faith looked incredulous. "Anyway, where it got her in the end was that she had to kill Angel, her mom kicked her out of the house, and, when Buffy didn't get there in time, Kendra ended up dead."

Faith just stared a him.

"So then you come and you're all naked-alligator-wrestling stories—which by the way were great—and 'hungry and horny' and put Buffy up on a pedestal. And where does that leave her? You two try to kill each other, and Angel nearly dies—this is a theme with him—and that whole thing pretty much sucked, too."

"Did you have a point?"

"Maybe. But I've forgotten it." He kicked a rock in the street. "Anyway, what I don't get about you slayers is why, when there's two of you, you always end up trying to be those ends of the magnet that don't go together." The rock clattered off down into a sewer. He wondered if there were any vampires in it. And then thought that he'd been living in Sunnydale too long. "From what I've seen, being a slayer is good, and bad, and complicated. Maybe it's okay to be all of that."

Faith's head was filled with the image of Buffy's wide, wild eyes. "Maybe we all just end up crazy."

"Maybe you could make it easier for each other." He didn't know how to tiptoe around it. "I think you make Buffy happy."

Faith took another drag and didn't say anything.

Xander stared for a moment, watching the tremor in the girl's fingers, then decided to chance it. "Do you love her?"

She was silent for so long that he thought she hadn't heard him, or wasn't going to answer. Then she did. "Too young to keep good love from goin' wrong." A pause as she looked out into the night. "Somebody said that."

Xander stared at her for a moment, then sighed. He should have known she wouldn't tell him the truth. "You're a lot of things, Faith, but too young isn't one of them." He paused. "And, what I said earlier...I think you know exactly what to do."

And then they were at Jimmy's. "Maybe you're right about some things." With a glint in her eye, Faith kicked the door in.


"Buffy! Look!"

The blonde turned away from her punching bag as the redhead bounded down the stairs.

"Will?" Yes, it was her old friend.

"I think I found your demon." She pulled a book from under her arm and opened it to a marked page. "It matches your description, with the same symptoms and everything."

The blonde slayer looked down at it and nodded.

"See, it's gonna be okay. Willow to the rescue. Its pokey stinger thing carries the antidote to its poison." There was a big smile plastered across her face as Buffy looked back down at the photo again.


Buffy's mother turned the picture over for her. "Summer 1993" was written in a looping hand on the back. On the front, Buffy smiling on the beach with her mom. She could see her dad's shadow across the sand from where he was taking the picture.

They were outside, on the grounds, she supposed. Where they let patients go when their families came. The sun was warm through the thin cotton of her shirt. She looked up at it.

"I never thought I'd see it again." Joyce looked blank for a moment. "The sun."

"Oh, right, honey. You made yourself a vampire, I remember now."

"Well, technically, I didn't— Or maybe I did." She shut her eyes and saw spots in her eyes from the bright light she wasn't used to.

Buffy's mom was nodding a little, taking out the sandwiches. "Now why on earth...well, your dad and I are trying to understand. We can't figure out if maybe you saw some horror movie somewhere...." She sighed, putting her hands on her knees, finding the picnic all laid out. "But I guess that doesn't really matter. What's important is that you're coming back to us."


"What if I'm still there?"

"Buffy...Buffy, you're not."

The blonde looked over at the redhead's voice, her eyes red-rimmed from crying.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it's over now. I just sent out Giles and Anya to go tell Xander and Faith. They ought to be hunting the demon right now. They'll bring the antidote back and everything will be okay."

All Buffy could do was nod.


"I made you some tea."

Dawn came down the stairs, walking carefully with the hot mug.

"I should be taller than you."

Dawn stopped a few feet away, watching her sister stare at her. Then she started again, handing over the cup, trying out a grin. "Maybe you're not done growing."

But Buffy was shaking her head. "That doesn't make any sense, Dawn. I'm older so I should be—"


"You don't have a sister, Buffy."

The blonde blinked in the sun. "Dawn?"

"No, honey."

Buffy's face started to crumble. She fought to keep it under control.

Her dad leaned over to put a hand on her shoulder. "Say it, honey. It'll help you believe it."

"I...don't have a sister."

"That's right, sweety...."

Buffy leaned into the hand her mom placed on her cheek, reaching up to touch that hand.


Her hand brushed against Dawn's cheek and both girls startled back.

"It's your ideal world, and I'm not even a part of it."

"That's not true." But Dawn had already dashed back up the stairs. Somewhere above her in the house, Buffy could hear a door slamming.


Faith let out a whoop and they were off. Anya had spotted the demon first, just as it had spotted them. It took off running and now all of them were in hot pursuit. Faith in the lead. They ended up in a little cleared area outside a mausoleum. All of them bunched up at the entrance.

Giles gathered his breath. "Faith, laying a trap for it outside, since it will have to come—"

The demon roared from behind them.

Faith sprang out in between the demon and the rest of them. "New plan. We fight it out here."

"Quite right, that does seem best." He raised his crossbow from under his jacket.

"Xander, Anya. Flank left and right. Ropes ready. G-man and I take the front."

The Englishman looked at her for a moment. She hardly looked winded and he felt as though he might fall over any moment. "We will? Perhaps that's not...."

The demon made up his mind for him when it came straight at him. "Oh!" His hands remembered to get the crossbow up in front of him and fire.

He grazed its shoulder and it roared even louder.

"Dang it! Missed the bloody thing!"

"Counted on it." Faith jumped in behind it, wrapping an arm around its neck while it was distracted and slamming it down to the ground next to her. "Watch out for the spike thing!" It slashed out at Anya as she approached.

The blonde resorted to using her rope like a sort of whip. "Oh no you don't! You won't send me to the funny farm!"

Faith dived over and pinned the arm to the ground. It's other arm came up behind her and started to claw at her back until Xander grappled it down to the ground, too, with a little assistance from Faith's knee that she had brought up in order to throw her whole body across the demon's middle.

"Giles! Tranquilizer!"

The watcher threw down his crossbow, pulled the needle out from his jacket pocket and took the cap off with his teeth. He jabbed it down into the demon's shoulder. As it stilled underneath Faith, the dark slayer rolled off, laughing, taking the rope Anya handed her and winding it around the demon's arms and chest.

"Alright, motherfucker. Got a blonde wants to meet you."