45 Plums

"Cupcake, will you marry me?" Joe goes down on one knee and presents me with a diamond ring.

Everyone inside Pino's gasps. The last slice of my Pizza Margherita nearly falls out of my hand. I blink and stare at Joe. His warm brown eyes are bright and sincere. The look on his lean handsome face is intense. He's serious. He's waiting for my answer. Should I marry Joe? I won't have to pay rent anymore. My mother will be thrilled. Joe is no longer the mean nasty boy. I always love Bob. And the ring is alluringly beautiful. Everyone's eyes are on me. Silence continues. Tension builds. A simple "Yes" and I will become Bella Morelli's granddaughter-in-law. We will get married in June. I will quit my job and get ready to pop out little Cupcakes. We will name our first son Joseph. He will have dense curly chest hair; he will have a hairy butt. He will know how to smile at teenage girls; he will know how to write dirty poems on public bathroom walls. And my daughter will follow the neighborhood bad boy into his father's garage and lose her virginity on the hard bare floor.

Geez.

Eeeeeuw.

Unbreakable family curses.

I drop my pizza, grab my bag, bolt out of the chair and run for the door. Just because you can reproduce doesn't mean you should. It's time to put an end to the never-ending on-and-off story between me and Joe. The Earth is too crowded anyways.

And I am in love with my Mocha Latte man.