Author's notes: Updating quickly because I am determined to finish this fic as soon as possible! Don't get me wrong: I love this fic - and you guys - but I have other ideas for things to write and it's been seven months since I started this fic and that's just too long to be writing a something, in my opinion. Plus, I really want to be done with this before 2013 so I can say that I wrote something that was, like, the length of three novels and it only took me seven months.
Not much else to say in this edition just that, you know, you guys are awesome for sticking by me for fifty two chapters!
And also that I apologize for any mistakes you find. I'm not really good at catching errors until days, weeks, and even months after something is published. But hopefully all the errors will be fixed when I transfer this onto AO3. :)
This chapter... is full of surprises. Good, bad, fun, not so fun - you'll have to read to find out!
God, I'm also sorry that I jump time in this fic, too, but it's just in the beginning and the end, I swear.
I should also apologize if this chapter is worded weird or messy; I'm writing this chapter right after finishing and posting the other (while at work, mind you!).
And this chapter is long, whoops. I couldn't stop myself from writing once I started.
Oh, I also know that I didn't go through the entire process of surrogacy in the last chapter; I skipped a lotto save time.
Characters: Kendall, Carlos, Victoria, the Garcia family, the entire Knight family, the Mitchell family.
Warnings: hospitals because she's having their baby!, sadness, crying, angst, lots of praying, more hospital time, then happiness!
[July]
Kendall and Carlos start to put the baby's room together the day after they learn the gender. The walls are painted a light blue colour and the edges are trimmed in light green, pictures of cartoon-ish looking animals hanging in frames all around. They got the inspiration from a room in one of the interior decorating magazines that Camille showed them and it looks almost exactly like the pictures they show.
After getting the walls painted and the pictures hung, Kendall assembles the crib while Carlos puts the rest of the baby furniture together. It takes them three days, total, to finish putting everything in the baby's room and the last thing they put on the wall is a large frame that holds all of the baby's sonogram photos, with lots of space left so they can add the others when they get them.
The room is perfect, finally, and Kendall finds himself wandering into the nursery every now and then, his heart fluttering when he looks at the pictures of giraffes and elephants hanging on the wall. His chest tightens a little every time he sees the frame of sonogram pictures and his stomach twists in a way that isn't completely unpleasant but, then again, isn't the best feeling in the world either. Kendall can't begin to explain what he's feeling and he keeps his feelings to himself, not wanting to tell Carlos about anything because - if he can't explain it to himself, how is he going to tell his husband about it?
With the baby coming in just a few short months, Kendall takes more shifts at the bar and even manages to snag a day job at a local restaurant, waiting tables. A few people come in and recognize him from the band and from magazines; most of them ask why he's working in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere, Minnesota, and he always gives them the same answer: "Because I'm happy here and this is where my family is."
He has two jobs because they still need things for the baby and he needs to have money for all of Victoria's medical bills. With the money he makes bar tending and waiting tables, along with Carlos' pay from the shop, they have more than enough to cover their bills every month and to pay for everything else, but Kendall wants to be sure they're financially stable. Kendall also works a lot because he knows that he won't be able to for a while, once the baby is born.
[September-October]
It's the last week of September and Kendall is at his day job, leaning against the side of the building smoking a cigarette. He watches smoke billow from the end and he tips his head back against the brick wall, his mind wandering when he remembers that he's got the entire night off. Kendall is halfway into thinking about what he and Carlos are going to do later that night when his phone buzzes in his back pocket. Frowning, he puts his cigarette between his lips and grabs the device from his jeans, his eyes going wide when he sees Victoria's name flash across the top.
Kendall takes his cigarette out of his mouth and taps the answer button, bringing the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"
"Ow," Victoria answers and Kendall's heart is pounding against his ribs as he listens to her take a deep, labored breath. "Kendall?"
"Yeah, I'm here," he says and drops his cigarette onto the ground, snuffing it out with the heel of his boot. "What's the matter?"
A long moment of silence dragged on and then Victoria moaned in pain. "I think I'm - ah, shit. It hurts, Kendall," she whimpered.
"Call an ambulance or have someone take you to the hospital. I'll be right there," Kendall promises and, before Victoria can agree, he's heading into the restaurant to find his boss. When he finds her, Kendall explains the situation and listens to Victoria breathe on the other line, nodding at his boss when she gives him the permission to leave work early. "Are you there, Vic?"
"Y-yes," she answers, her voice tight and sounding pained.
Swallowing, Kendall runs to his car and gets inside, starting the engine quickly. "Hang up and call an ambulance. I'll meet you at the hospital."
Victoria agrees, finally, and hangs up after screaming into the phone; it hurts Kendall's ear but he doesn't complain, just listens to her until she hangs up. The moment the line disconnects, Kendall is dialing Carlos' number and pulling out of his parking space, tires squealing as he pulls out of the parking lot and onto the road. Carlos doesn't answer and Kendall gets his voicemail, hanging up with a frustrated noise. After a moment of driving, he tries again and, not surprisingly, gets the damn voicemail again.
"Um, hey, it's me. Victoria is going into labor, I think, and you should meet us at the hospital when you get this. I don't know what's going on because she - she just called me a few minutes ago and I'm driving and... just... hurry, Litos." Kendall sniffles at the end of the message and hangs up, letting his phone fall between his thighs where it stays until he gets to the hospital.
Of course, he gets there before Victoria does and he's sitting in one of the chairs along the ER when they wheel her in on the stretcher. One of the paramedics tries to keep him from coming with them but Victoria tells them that he's the father of her baby and they allow him to go up to the maternity ward with her. The whole way upstairs, Kendall holds her hand and tries not to cry, whispering words of encouragement until, finally, she's wheeled away and he's held back by one of the nurses who assure him that he'll be able to be with her soon.
Except "soon" turns out to be a full hour.
x x
When Kendall is finally able to see Victoria again, she's hooked up to a bunch of machines and she's laying in the hospital bed, breathing slowly as she lays a hand on her stomach. She smiles weakly when she sees Kendall and he comes forward to take one of her hands, leaning down to kiss her forehead, clenching his eyes shut as he listens to all of the machines beep. He knows that they're monitoring both her and the baby, his chest tightening when he realizes that something is wrong. Something is going on and he swallows thickly, squeezing her hand lightly.
"He's going to be okay," Victoria breathes when Kendall pulls away and she looks up at him with tired eyes, smiling softly through her lips are trembling.
Nodding, Kendall drops into a chair next to her bed and sighs. "I know and so are you," he whispers, brushing his thumb along the back of her knuckles slowly as he looks at all of the monitors, swallowing hard. As he looks at the heart monitor, Kendall feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulls it out, reading a text from Carlos that says he's on his way. After sending back a message that just says 'okay,' Kendall turns the sound on his phone off and puts it on the table beside Victoria's bed.
For the next fifteen minutes, neither Kendall nor Victoria says a word. It isn't until Carlos comes through the door that either of them move, both swiveling their heads toward the door and the pressure in Kendall's chest eases when he sees his husband. He holds his free hand out and closes his eyes when Carlos' fingers slide between his own and he lets out a choked off sound when his husband's lips brush against his forehead.
"How are you doing, sweetie?" Carlos asks and Kendall isn't sure who the question is directed to, so he shrugs his shoulders in response.
Victoria takes a deep breath and then, as she's exhaling, lets out a sharp cry. "Not so - ah - good," she answers, truthfully.
"Do you want me to get the doctor?" It's Kendall who speaks this time and he jumps when Victoria nods her head. "I'll be right back," he whispers to her and looks at Carlos, mouthing 'stay with her' before leaving the room to track down her doctor. When he finds her, Kendall explains that Victoria is in a lot of pain and they rush back to the room where Victoria is writhing in the bed, her hands on her stomach; the monitor that's keeping track of the baby's heart rate starts to beep and, soon, Kendall and Carlos are ushered out into the hall.
As soon as they're in the hall, Kendall lets his emotions take over. He holds onto Carlos and leans down, pressing his face against his husband's shoulder as he cries, worried that something is wrong with his son or, worse, that something is wrong with Victoria. Carlos is able to calm him down enough to move him to the waiting room where, thankfully, no one is and he pulls his husband over to a row of chairs, sitting him down in one of them. Kendall hiccups and rubs at his face with both hands, wiping the tears away angrily.
Carlos cradles Kendall's head in his hands and kisses his cheek lightly. "Shh," he whispers, pressing their foreheads together. "They're going to be okay."
Eventually, Kendall calms down and he curls up in the chair, laying his head against Carlos' shoulder as they watch nurses pass by the door. This goes on for nearly an hour and they're frozen in the same spot, both of them afraid to move or go anywhere until one of the doctors comes in to talk to them, their face solemn. As soon as Kendall sees the doctor, he sits up and shakes Carlos' shoulder, both of his hands dropping to his lap.
"Victoria is going into premature labor and we need to do an emergency c-section on her as soon as possible. She's asking for both of you but only one can come into the operating room with her," he explains and Kendall turns to look at Carlos, his eyes shining with tears as he he swallows, nodding his head. "Follow me and I'll get you ready. They're about to take her back now."
Kendall kisses Carlos' lips and stands, sniffling loudly as he follows behind the doctor. Before he knows it, he's given scrubs and he's being directed toward a set of double doors by people who are wearing the exact same outfit as he is, his heart pounding so hard that he can hear it in his ears. When they get into the operating room, Kendall can see Victoria lying on the table in the middle of the room and he's ushered forward, one of his hands reaching out to take hers, the tears spilling down his cheeks.
The doctors and nurses come in, all of them talking around the two of them but all Kendall cares about is Victoria. "You're going to be okay," he promises and moves his hand to the side of her face, touching it lightly. "It's all going to be okay." Those are the last words Kendall says to Victoria before the doctors start the delivery and he can't be bothered to look anywhere but at her, at her face, and at her eyes before they flutter shut, tears streaming down her skin.
Ten minutes later, the doctor announces that it's a boy and, before Kendall can catch a glimpse of his baby, he's being taken away by a nurse. He wants to ask why they're doing that but then he remembers: Victoria was only seven months pregnant and the baby is premature. The thought makes Kendall choke back a sob and he presses Victoria's hand against his face, staying with her as they stitch her up and even when she's rolled to recovery. As soon as he's told that he should go downstairs and get Carlos, Kendall rips his scrubs off and throws them into the garbage angrily, hot tears prickling his eyes.
Tears blur Kendall's vision as he makes his way down the hall and to the elevator. He pushes the button with the arrow going up and wipes at his eyes, sniffling loudly as he steps onto the elevator once it stops and opens it's doors. For a moment, Kendall stares at the number pad and pushes the button of the floor where Carlos is, waiting until the doors shut again to completely break down. It doesn't last long, of course, and Kendall stumbles out into the hall before going down to the waiting room, wiping his face with both hands and then, in return, wiping them against his jeans.
When Carlos sees Kendall, he stands up and takes a step forward before faltering, seeing his husband's face. "Are they okay?"
"I don't know," he answers and sobs, bringing both hands to his face again. "I - don't - know - Carlos."
Carlos swallows and moves forward, wrapping his arms around his husband, trying to comfort him the best way he knows how. "How's Victoria?"
It takes Kendall a few minutes to calm down and he's hiccuping, his face wet with tears. He tells Carlos that she's doing okay and that she's in recovery but they won't let him see her or the baby. When he's calmed down enough, Kendall tells his husband that they should find out what's happening with their baby and he agrees, slipping his hand into Kendall's, giving it a squeeze as they walk down the hall and to the elevator again.
They end up on the floor where the N.I.C.U is and they head to the nurse's station, giving them Victoria's name. The woman behind the desk nods and points down the hall where a few of the nurses that were in the delivery room are standing and Kendall thanks the nurse before heading down that way with Carlos, their hands locked tightly together.
All of the nurses turn around when they see Carlos and Kendall, their faces tired and sympathetic.
"I'm looking for my son," Kendall says, his voice a broken mess from all the crying he did, and he clears his throat. When the nurses asks for the last name, he almost says his own but remembers and tells them Victoria's instead. One of them nods her head and leads them down the hall a little ways before stopping in front of a big window where there are several empty, plastic cribs. Only one is occupied and there are three people standing around it, their hands moving frantically.
Neither of them can move or speak for a moment; it's Carlos that eventually breaks the silence with, "Is he okay?"
"He's two months premature and his lungs aren't fully developed but... he's as okay as he can be at this point."
Kendall swallows and turns to look at the woman, his eyebrows pulled together. "What does that mean?"
"It means," she says and sighs, "that we're going to take good care of him. He'll need to be on oxygen until his lungs are fully developed and he'll need round the clock care until he's able to go home. Right now, the first forty-eight hours are the most critical. Usually when babies make it past the two day mark, they're going to be okay."
"Thank you," Carlos says and the nurse nods her head before moving down the hall again. Once she's gone, Carlos leans his head against Kendall's shoulder and they watch the doctors take care of their baby. Their tiny, precious, fragile baby that isn't supposed to be in this world for another two months and Kendall pulls away before going down to the opposite end of the hall, slamming his fists against one of the doors. He sinks to his knees and starts to cry again, pressing both hands against his face and jerking when he feels someone touch him until he hears Carlos say his name.
For the next hour, Kendall and Carlos stay rooted to that spot until someone comes by to ask if they're okay. When they say they're fine, the nurse asks if they'd like to see their baby and, without thinking, Kendall nods his head. Carlos lets him go in alone and watches him from behind the glass, chewing on his thumbnail as Kendall gets closer to the incubator with their son inside, his chest rising and falling slowly.
When Kendall sees his son for the first time, he blinks away tears and moves his hand into one of the circles on the side of the incubator. "Hey little man," he whispers and swallows thickly, chuckling quietly as he runs his fingertips along his son's tiny hand. "I'm your daddy and... you scared us there for a while. Me and your other daddy, Carlos, are still worried and I'm sure your mommy, Victoria, is too. You weren't supposed to be here for a while but I guess you couldn't wait, huh?"
Nurses bustle by him and Kendall doesn't pay attention; his eyes are locked on James.
"James Luca Garcia." After saying his name, Kendall laughs again and sniffles, wiping his face with the shoulder of his scrubs. "You have to make it, okay? There are a lot of people that are waiting for you and that are going to be upset if you leave them. Me and your dad, especially," he whispers and drags his fingertip along the length of James' forearm before pulling back, tears flooding his vision. A nurse comes by and escorts him out of the room, where he leans against the wall beside the door, fresh tears streaming down his face.
Carlos comes up beside him and kisses his cheek. "What's he like?"
"Beautiful," Kendall answers and chuckles pathetically, scrubbing at his face. "And he's tiny, Carlos. So fucking tiny and - and fragile and I don't know if I can do this."
"You can do this, baby, and you will. We'll get through this together." Carlos runs his hand through Kendall's hair slowly and kisses his cheek again.
x x
Two hours later, Victoria is awake and asking for them. Kendall walks into the room quietly and Carlos trails behind him, both of them smiling at the woman laying on the mattress. The smile she gives them in return is weak and sleepy; Kendall can see how tired she is and he knows they should leave but they don't because she needs them. As much as the baby upstairs needs them.
"How's James?" Victoria asks in a hoarse voice.
Kendall licks his lips and gives a shaky smile. "He's up in the N.I.C.U right now and he's going to be okay."
"Is he beautiful?"
"Yeah," Kendall answers, fighting back tears, "he is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."
Humming quietly, Victoria smiles again and closes her eyes. "Good," she says and, a moment later, she's dozing off to sleep.
Before leaving the room, Kendall kisses her forehead and mutters an apology before he and Carlos slip out into the hall. They look at each other for a moment and go their separate ways to call their family on their own and so they can have a little time to clear their head. Even though he knows it's good for them and that Carlos needs some space, Kendall can't stand to be away from him and he only gets as far as the waiting room before he collapses into a chair. He's drained emotionally and physically and all he wants to do is curl up and sleep, hoping to wake up and have everything be a dream.
When he's sure he can talk to someone without crying or breaking down, Kendall calls his mom and tells her what happened. She says she's coming up immediately and Kendall tells her exactly where he is before hanging up, staring at his phone for a long minute before dialing a number he hasn't had in his phone for a long time and that he's honestly surprised that he still remembers.
The other line rings three times before Christopher answers. "Hello?"
"Hey dad," Kendall says and swallows, running a hand through his hair and over the back of his neck, scratching the base.
Christopher is silent for a moment and then he exhales sharply. "Kendall, is that really you?"
"Yeah, it's me and, um, I have something to tell you."
"I'm listening," his father says.
Kendall makes a sobbing noise and then laughs. "You're a grandfather," he mumbles and closes his eyes, dragging his hand over the side of his neck, resting it just against his pulse. "His name is James Luca Garcia and he - he was b-b-born two months early."
There's silence on the other line and Kendall thinks, for a second, that his father hung up before he hears his voice again.
"I'm so sorry, Kendall. Do you want me to come up?" The answer to that question should be no but it isn't the one Kendall gives. He says yes and sobs it over and over, throwing in a few "please"s in there until his father assures him that he's coming. When he gets the name of the hospital Kendall's at, Christopher hangs up but not before promising that everything will be okay.
Once his father hangs up, Kendall looks at his phone and decides to text Camille, figuring that Carlos already talked to Logan.
'Victoria had the baby, please come to the hospital, I need you.'
Sighing, Kendall leans against the back of the chair and looks out the door, waiting for Camille to text back. When she does, he reads her message ("we're already on our way, honey. where are you at in the hospital?") and replies, telling her exactly where he is before putting his phone on the chair beside him. He lets his eyes slip shut and he dozes off for a while, waking up when his mother comes in and says his name, her voice soft and sweet with a hint of sadness around the edges.
Jennifer smiles softly at Kendall when he wakes up and he returns it. "How are you holding up?"
"M'fine," Kendall lies and sits up, rubbing at his eyes as he yawns. "Dad's coming."
"I know, he called me and asked if it was okay with me if he came up here. I'm surprised you called him, sweetie."
A laugh bubbles up from Kendall's throat and he nods slowly. "Me too," he admits and moves his phone so she can sit next to him.
"Have you seen the baby yet?" Jennifer asks and Kendall nods his head. "How is he?"
"They say his lungs aren't fully developed and I don't know if there's other stuff but, god, he's so tiny."
Biting her lip, Jennifer nods and takes Kendall's hand, squeezing it gently. "He'll make it through, just have faith."
Kendall doesn't reply, just leans against his mother and allows her to wrap both arms around his shoulders. She holds him close and he stays like that even when Camille comes into the room, tears rimming her eyes. His best friend joins them on the chairs and Kendall should feel strange having his mother and best friend comfort him like this but he can't be bothered to care when his son is upstairs, fighting for his life.
The next person to come in is Christopher and Kendall bursts into tears when he sees his father and stands up, moving to hug him. Suddenly, in that moment, all of their arguing and their problems seem so small and unimportant to Kendall. He buries his face against Christopher's neck and cries against him, his shoulders shaking with each sob, hands tightening around his father's button up shirt until Carlos, Sylvia, Miguel, Alex, and Logan all come into the room.
With his entire family there, Kendall feels better and he takes a seat between Carlos and his mother, holding his husband's hand when it hits him that no one has called Victoria's family. He tells Carlos to call her parents while he calls her girlfriend and they tell them what happened, keeping themselves together surprisingly well the entire time. Victoria's family says they're on their way and Kendall feels like he can breathe a little easier, knowing that all of their families are going to be there for them.
No one talks for a while and Kendall finally breaks the silence, unable to take it anymore. "Who wants to go see James?"
"I think our parents should go up first," Carlos says and Kendall nods in agreement, standing with him.
Carlos' parents stand after they do and then Kendall's parents, all four of them following their sons out of the waiting room and down the hall. They all pack into the elevator and Carlos keeps a tight hold on Kendall's hand the whole way, trying his best not to cry. When they get to the floor where James is, taking their parents down to the N.I.C.U where they have to be let in and they wait for the doors to open before walking down the hall.
As soon as they get to the room where their baby is, Kendall and Carlos point to the window and back away, letting their parents see James for the first time, holding onto one another as they listen to their mothers cry. That's all it takes for Carlos to break down and he turns, burying his face against Kendall's chest as he sobs, both hands curling around the fabric of his shirt, tugging on it roughly. He keeps crying even when his father comes over to hug both of them and to whisper that it's going to be okay.
"Hey," Miguel says, rubbing Carlos' shoulders as he cries. "How about we go to the chapel, hmm?"
Sniffling, Carlos shakes his head and clings to Kendall even more. "I don't wanna leave Kendall," he mumbles.
"It's okay, baby, I'll be here when you get back. You and your parents should go up to the chapel together," Kendall whispers, brushing his lips along the top of Carlos' head slowly before kissing it. "I love you."
"I love you too." The words come out shaky and Carlos pulls away, wiping his face. "Promise you'll be here?"
Kendall nods his head and smiles. "I'll be up here or downstairs in the waiting room with everyone else," he promises.
After a moment of hesitation, Carlos nods and walks off with his parents, heading down the hall to the elevator. Kendall watches as the disappear between the elevator doors and then walks forward to step between his parents, looking in at his son. His mother is still crying softly to his right and his father is stoic, his hands stuffed into his pockets but Kendall swears he can her him sniffling.
"He's so small," Christopher says and Kendall nods his head in agreement, sniffling hard. "He's beautiful, though."
Jennifer makes a noise that sounds like an agreement and wraps her arm around Kendall's middle. "He really is," she murmurs.
The three of them stand there for a moment and Kendall clears his throat before excusing himself. "I just need to go get some air," he says and walks down the hall, punching the elevator button before stepping into it once it stops. He hits the lobby button and watches the doors shut, rocking back and forth on his heels as he waits for the elevator to stop. As soon as it does, he steps out and walks toward the exit, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he walks and he breathes in fresh air once he's outside.
Now that he can breathe easier, Kendall starts walking and he ends up at the park across the street. He sits down on one of the benches and looks out across the grass, watching as the sun starts to set behind the trees. Swallowing hard, Kendall rubs his hands together and lets them hang between his knees, dropping his head as he closes his eyes, chuckling quietly.
"I haven't done this in a long time and I'm pretty sure I'm bad at it but... you listen to people like me, right?" Kendall whispers, swallowing again before clenching his jaw, tightening his hands together. "And I know that it's selfish to ask for stuff but this isn't me asking for a new Gibson Les Paul or an Audi R8 or anything like that, so I figure that it's okay. I haven't really asked you for anything and I guess no one ever really does until they need it badly. Well, God, I need you right now and I - I need you to make sure my son lives. That's all I'm asking for: James' life and I'll be happy. I just want him to survive and I want to be able to take him home when he's well enough. To the house I bought with Carlos last year and to the room we painted for him a few months ago. I want to watch him grow every single day and I don't... I don't want to watch him die." A sob leaves his throat and Kendall rubs his hands against his forehead, scratching his skin with his thumb. "Please, God, that's all I'm askin' for. Just... don't make me watch him die. Don't make Carlos and Victoria and our families watch him die, please. Please, God... please."
The wind blows lightly and Kendall drops his hands, rubbing them against his jeans before standing. The sun is starting to set more and he watches for another moment before he heads back to the hospital, walking slowly like he's trying to avoid going back because he's afraid to hear bad news about his son or, god forbid, Victoria.
Everyone is in the waiting room when Kendall comes back and he slumps into a chair in the corner, pulling his knees to his chest. The talk is muted around him and his mind is somewhere else; upstairs and down the hall, his thoughts going between James and Victoria, his chest tightening when he thinks of the two of them and how he could have lost them both.
When it gets dark, everyone leaves and it's just Kendall and Carlos in the waiting room. They talk about going home and decide to do that once they've seen both Victoria and James one more time. Kendall almost breaks down in front of Victoria when they go to say goodnight and he just narrowly avoids crying when he and Carlos go up to see James and to check on how he's doing. The nurses tell him that he's doing the same as he was before and that they'll call if anything changes.
Carlos drives them home and Kendall stares out the window, wondering what could have gone wrong to make Victoria go into labor early. He's still thinking about it when they climb into bed that night and it's the last thought that passes through his mind before he falls asleep, exhausted from the day they had.
x x
Two days later, James is still alive and he's doing better than he was the day he was born. Kendall and Carlos spend all of their free time at the hospital visiting both their son and Victoria, the three of them going up to the N.I.C.U to see him together. When Carlos finally goes into see James, Kendall cries and watches his every movement, the tears streaming down his face harder when his husband puts a hand in the incubator and touches the baby's hand for the first time.
Four days after giving birth, Victoria is released from the hospital and they visit her every evening before they go see James. Sometimes Kendall goes on his lunch break and the nurses tell him that he just missed his husband, which makes him smile to know that Carlos is coming to see the baby when he can, too, and he already loves that Carlos has fallen into fatherhood so well.
James starts eating more and gains weight soon. Kendall watches him grow and he keeps praying every single day, going back to the park when the nurses need to do something with the baby or going down to the chapel when Carlos wants to spend time with him. He says the same prayer every time, though, and he honestly believes that God is hearing his prayers because James keeps getting stronger and healthier as each day goes by.
Weeks go by and Kendall and Carlos continue to visit the hospital so much that they're on a first-name basis with the nurses in the N.I.C.U. They take their families to see James and Victoria goes to see him when she can, smiling at him through the window. It isn't until a month later that the baby is taken off the oxygen and given the chance to breathe on his own; when he does well, Kendall cries and thanks all of the doctors and nurses for saving his life.
[November]
"Do you have the diaper bag?" Carlos asks and Kendall holds the blue bag up in the air. "And the car seat is already in the car. We have an outfit to bring him home in and bottles, diapers, wipes, formula..."
Kendall laughs and nods, grabbing his jacket before setting the diaper bag down to shrug into the coat. "We have everything, calm down."
"Are you sure we have everything?"
"Baby, I'm positive we have everything but I can double check if you really want me to," Kendall murmurs and raises his eyebrows at his husband.
Huffing, Carlos shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "No, that's okay; I believe you. I'm just freaking out because we're actually bringing our baby home after two months of being in the hospital."
"Everything will be fine." As he speaks, Kendall kisses Carlos' cheek and scoops the bag up again, throwing it over his shoulder. "But you might want to put a jacket on before we leave because it is cold outside," he warns and laughs when Carlos looks at him and blinks like he hadn't thought of doing that.
Once he has his jacket on, Carlos follows Kendall outside and locks the door behind them, half-running to the car before sliding in behind the wheel. Kendall puts the bag on the floorboard between his legs and puts his seat belt on, reminding Carlos to do the same thing before they even think about leaving the driveway. He laughs when his husband throws him a glare and shakes his head, watching him pull his seat belt on before starting the car and putting it into reverse.
Carlos backs out of the driveway and puts the car in drive, heading down the road slowly. He picks up the speed when Kendall complains under his breath and they get to the hospital in no time, Carlos shaking with nervousness and Kendall bouncing in his seat with excitement. As soon as the car is parked and turned off, Kendall gets out and grabs the bag, throwing it over his shoulder again. He watches Carlos get out and pull the car seat out of the back of the car, wincing when he hears it bang against the passenger side door.
The walk inside the hospital is easier than Kendall imagined and he feels calm knowing that they'll be able to take James home soon. He bounds into the elevator and smiles at Carlos, pushing the floor button before the doors shut in front of them and the elevator ascends to the floor where their son is. The doors open and Kendall steps out, turning left before heading down to the N.I.C.U with his head held high and his stomach only twisting nervously until he gets to the doors.
"Afternoon," one of the nurses say as he walks by and Kendall smiles brightly, returning the greeting as he walks down the hall. The closer he gets to James' room, the more excited Kendall gets and he's bouncing up and down when he gets there, standing outside the door as he waits for Carlos. Both of them walk in the room together and the nurse that's holding James looks up, smiling brightly at the two of them.
Biting his lip, Kendall sets the bag on the floor and holds his hands out for James. "How's he doing today?"
"Just fine," Amelia answers and she chuckles when Kendall cradles the baby against his chest. "You two are excited to take him home, huh?"
"Very excited." Carlos smiles and comes over to where Kendall is standing, setting the car seat down before lifting a hand to touch James' hair. "You're going to have that dirty-blonde hair that your daddy has, huh," he comments and shakes his head, laughing when James starts to fuss in Kendall's arms.
Amelia goes over a few things with them and watches as they put him in the car seat, praising both of them for doing it right. After a few last minute lessons, Kendall and Carlos are free to leave the hospital and it feels strange to Kendall that he's leaving the hospital with his son. The very son that he's spent the past two months visiting in the N.I.C.U and praying for.
They get downstairs and Kendall waits inside where it's warm while Carlos goes to get the car. When Carlos pulls up in front of the doors, Kendall goes out and opens the passenger side door before snapping James' car seat into place. He makes sure he's breathing one last time because he's paranoid and then shuts the door before climbing into the front, settling the diaper bag back between his legs.
x x
Kendall barely gets any sleep the first night they have James home and it isn't because he's up crying all night. He doesn't sleep because he's paranoid and has to check the baby every few minutes or else he can't breathe, the negative thoughts creeping into his mind until he finally gets up to check on him. Carlos stops him after the tenth time and tells him that everything is fine; that James is breathing and that he's perfectly healthy. His husband's words calm Kendall down enough and he relaxes, allowing himself to sleep until the baby does cry and then he gets up to feed him.
Things get easier as they go along and Kendall starts to develop an almost routine like schedule on how to run things. He stays at home with James while Carlos is at work and the day goes by fairly smooth, with not a lot of crying because James is a surprisingly good baby and Kendall feels lucky to have a child that isn't up all night screaming and crying.
When James' due date rolls around, Kendall and Carlos celebrate it even though he was born on September 26th instead of November 15th.
[December]
Their first holiday as a family is spend around the people they care about. Carlos' family, Kendall's mom, Logan, Camille, Isaac, and Victoria all come over to the Garcia house for Christmas and, for once, things actually feel normal. The band's CD is selling well and James is healthy and happy, growing more every day and Kendall feels blessed to have such an amazing little family.
*Note: this is NOT the end of the fic. I didn't know how to finish this chapter and I decided to wrap it up this way. There are a few more chapters left and I hope you guys don't think that this is it! :(*
