Drabble - A few weeks after, Home Is Sometimes Hardest. (September 2007)
Buffy stretched out and snuggled back up to her favorite pillow, lazy Saturday mornings were the best, especially before the kids woke up and demanded their full attention.
She turned her head slightly and looked up at her slightly snoring hubby, smiling at the sight and laying her head back down on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. Angel had been human for over three years, but the sound of his heart beating still fascinated her, she figured it always would. Kinda like the sound of her children's laughter, it never got old, no matter how often she heard it.
Ever since he returned from Ireland, he's been so much calmer. Not that Angel had ever been wild, but she could clearly see the difference in him now his demon was no longer at a slow broiling rage. He didn't bottle up his anger anymore, since frankly, he didn't have any. Not saying he wasn't capable of getting mad, he was, but he didn't need to spend hours working off his demon ire with a punching bag as he used to when the bottles began to overflow.
Now that he'd finally forgiven himself and achieved his long sought redemption, he was at peace. She could see it in his eyes, no broody vampire crap, no poor meing, no demon fighting to reek havoc…just a man that was happy with his life.
Angel felt his wife's gaze on him, as she often basked when he was still asleep, as he slowly woke. He didn't mind, he'd done it often enough to her. He liked her beautiful hazel green loving eyes to be the first thing he saw in the morning. Eager for that treat, his chocolate brown eyes emerged behind the heavy lids, blinking the residue of sleep from his mind.
"See something you like?" He joked, bending in for a good morning kiss.
"Always." She happily obliged him, having thought of the idea a moment ago but deciding to let him wake naturally for a change.
She giggled as he playfully rolled on top of her, nipping at the ticklish spot on her ear.
"No fair." She whined through the laughter, hard paced to catch her breath during his assault.
"All's fair in love and war." He muttered, moving lower and finding his mark especially delectable today.
As his lips worked over her beautifully scared skin he couldn't help but think how perfect his life was.
If someone had told him 5 years ago what his future would have brought, he may have dusted laughing so hard at the impossibility of it.
Now though, now nothing would take him away from his family. This life was perfect, almost too perfect…the yearly almost dying on his part tended to keep things in perspective for him.
Deep down, buried in his subconscious he often wondered if this life was even real. If perhaps he'd gone insane at some point or he was still trapped in the coffin at the bottom of the ocean that Connor sent him that summer. His starving and fevered mind was just dreaming this life to escape reality, that Buffy and the kids were just painful illusions for a broken man.
As a sexy blond slayer wrestled him onto his back, he couldn't help but think, 'If I am dreaming…never wake me up.'
Going back to his life the way it had been, losing his family, would be the worst torture he could ever imagine.
November 22, 2007 - Thanksgiving Day.
"Angel!" Buffy yelled into the kitchen over the steady drone of the crowd mingling in the living room.
"Huh?" He responded, pulling up from the oven after basting the turkey for the 100th time in 3 hours.
"Something's wrong with the stuffed mushrooms!" She panicked, not understanding why the hors d'œuvre were being completely snubbed.
He walked over quickly, knowing his wife tended to be rather tightly strung during the holidays and took them from her, placing them on the counter.
"Could be since these aren't cooked yet." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Relax a chuisle." He whispered into her ear, the Irish word for love mixed with his voice often calmed her nerves.
"I just want everything to be perfect." She countered. The holidays for her meant something deeper than just a holiday. It was a time to remember her childhood, the way her mother hosted family get-togethers. Traditions helped keep her sane in the world of the insane. Now the she was both a wife and a mother she felt is was her duty to make each holiday come to life as it did when she was a child.
"It is Buffy, I promise." He insisted, hugging her against him. "We're all here, we're happy, we're healthy…how more perfect can you get with this bunch." He grinned.
"You have a point." She nodded, seeing the fact there was another slayer in the living room, a souled vampire, a witch, a were-wolf, a man born of two vampires, a woman that had been a key, a watcher, two children born of a half-vampire and a slayer, and a normal guy that somehow survived everything supernatural over the last eleven years while still being 100% human.
Anything non-supernatural involving that particular group of people was a blessing in itself.
"Umm, dad." Connor poked his head into the kitchen, looking nervous.
"What's up?" Angel asked, not liking the worry in his son's blue eyes.
"Ahh, I think Spike and Faith are umm…upstairs…" He tattled.
Buffy's eyes widened. "What!" She yelped, instantly forgetting about the undone snacks and fearing for her bed sheets she rushed upstairs to kick the constantly fornicating couple the hell out of her bedroom.
Angel just shook his head as Buffy vanished, equally miffed at the lusty couple but somewhat glad for the distraction for Buffy's sake.
"So, when's the turkey going to be ready?" Connor asked, stepping into the kitchen and wandering closer to the food. He did have his father's apatite.
"About an hour." The part time vampire replied, pulling a tray of cooked stuffed mushrooms out of the large capacity toaster oven Xander lent them on the counter. "Want to pass these around?" he asked, handing a pair of oven mitts to his son.
"Sure" The young man's mouth watered in hunger as he snagged one to sample. At Angel's look of disapproval he just shrugged, "What, need to make sure they're done."
With Buffy no longer hovering behind him and scolding that the food was for the guests, Angel took one too, to sample for doneness of course.
Once he was alone in the kitchen again, Angel put the uncooked mushrooms in the toaster oven and continued his guard over the slowly roasting turkey.
At least until a little pair of arms wrapped around his left leg.
"Sneaking off to someplace quiet huh Bud?" He grinned out, looking down at his youngest son as he hugged his father's leg.
Liam may look like Buffy in nearly every way, but he has his dad's personality. The one and nine month old preferred to watch things as apposed to being in the middle like his sister. He preferred the quiet.
In a second, the baby was secured in a big arm, content to be held and watch his father cook.
"What's that?" Angel asked the boy. "Can you say turkey?"
The blond haired hazel-green eyed baby looked at him a moment, as if trying to decide whether to play along or not, then attempted, "Urkey."
The next twenty minutes went along in the same manner; Angel named foods as Liam repeated them, making a game of it.
In the background, the living vampire listened to the low conversations in the living room and the thumping of Buffy kicking the inseparable Vampire/Slayer couple out of the house.
...
A slightly flushed Dawn rushed into the kitchen, eyes wide the threat of possible death hanging over her shoulders. "Angel, I can't find…." She trailed when she saw the baby in question smiling in Angel's arms. "Oh, never mind." She breathed out, relieved her charge was ok.
"Someone slacking on their baby sitting duty?" The dark haired man questioned his sister-in-law. Slightly angered she'd let the toddler just wander off alone. What if he hadn't been in the kitchen? Liam could have touched the stove...
"Umm…" The young woman's blush gave her away.
"Were fine in here, but next time you stop watching my kid to make out with your boyfriend…I'm telling Buffy." He warned, knowing that would be a harsher threat then anything else he could have said.
"I'm sorry! It won't happen again!" She squeaked out and slipped from the kitchen, the threat of potential doom still lingering over her.
...
An hour later everyone was gathering around the table set up in the living room, passing around tons of food and sharing in the happy spirit of the holiday.
So beat getting attacked by ghost demon Indi...Native Americans.
Katie was more interesting in starting a food fight than actually eating, but Buffy was doing her best to keep food in her mouth and not flying across the table.
Liam sat contently in Angel's lap as he fed them both. Angel's own plate rapidly clearing as they both inhaled the turkey dinner. When it came to food, Liam never refused.
Buffy glanced over at her guys, and shook her head in affection. 'How are they not fat?'
Xander was digging into his plate with eager enthusiasm when suddenly the talking and eating sounds around him suddenly stopped dead.
It took a second before he broke away from his plate, and turning his head to see around both sides of the table. "Uhh...what?" He asked confused with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.
Everyone was frozen solid.
After a second the shock wore off and he pushed back from the table quickly, knocking his chair over in his haste. "What the…guys?"
Mark appeared from the bathroom and looked at the frozen dinner table. "Huh? Dawnie?" he asked, looking equally spooked. He ran over to his girl and noticed Dawn was also immobile. "Xander! What the hell happened? Dawn's like…on pause or something!" The young man freaked, worried about his girlfriend.
Xander pushed down his rising panic, he didn't have time to yell and scream and cry like a kid. Experience helped him keep a calm demeanor.
"Ok…I'm thinking spell." He rationalized, talking out loud to get his thoughts flowing. He looked over at the clock on the wall, watched as the hands moved steadily around the face. "So time wasn't stopped, since it's still moving. Ahh, some how we weren't affected…but why?" he asked aloud and partly to the freaking Mark.
"Dawn? Dawnie baby you need to move!" Xander watched as the young man grabbed Dawn's shoulder…and froze the same as everyone else.
"Whoa!" Xander yelped and jumped back from the table and the immobile guests, realizing whatever happened was transferable by touch.
"Oh crap." He winced, the 1,000 comic book scenarios rushing his brain doing little to ease his 'how do I fix this' worry.
...
Twenty minutes of pacing and looking around the house had brought him no answers. He was just thankful nothing had come into the house to massacre everyone while they were helpless. Wouldn't that be a wonderful replay way to celebrate Thanksgiving…and a little ironic.
He was looking at Buffy when the idea struck him. 'Supernatural…they're all supernatural. That's why Mark and I didn't freeze up…we're just regular Joe's.' He glanced over at the paused Giles, remembering the watcher told them of conjuring a demon in his youth, letting it possess him for a time, demon whose mark he still bore on his arm.
Eyghon, now long dead by Angel's demon so many years ago.
Ok, so one responsible demon possibility down…a zillion more to go.' He sighed and flipped open a demon book from Angel's mini library.
...
It seemed like hours passed as Xander paged though occult books and searched for possible reversal spells. "Damn it!" He sighed in frustration, slamming the book closed and sending a small cloud of dust up from the ancient tome. "I'm go out for snacks guy, not research guy! I'm useless!" He cried in worry over not being able to figure out what was affecting his friends.
"Finally figured that out did ya?" A voice agreed from behind him.
Xander yelped at the unexpected sound and spun, his eye focusing on the woman standing in the doorway.
In a second he realized he knew her, she'd cut her hair, got some new clothes but he'd know Amy Madison anywhere, she spent years in the care of Buffy and Willow while in rat form.
The young woman was a fellow alumni from Sunnydale High and a very powerful witch. 'Granted she was a rat for graduation, so technically she never graduated…thus not really an alumnus…' The 'being a witch' part in his brain suddenly clicked him off the random tangent and back on track.
"You, you did this." He accused, his eye widening in realization that he was currently facing a very powerful witch, with no weapons even, who obviously wasn't batting for their team.
Amy walked further into the house, grinning at her handiwork when she spotted the 10 statues sitting around the table. "Neat huh? The great and powerful Willow stuck with a carrot on her fork for all eternity. And the bane of the demon world frozen with peas in her hair. All their powers…useless." She smiled, pleased with her spell.
"For what?" Xander shot out, angry at Amy's 'game'.
"For what!" Amy yelled, taken aback. "They ruined my life!" She countered. Recalling the last decade of her existence. "Everything that happened to me was their fault!"
"Really?" Xander jumped in, "Because the way I saw it, they saved your ass time and again!"
Amy glared angrily at the weak human standing in her way, flapping his big mouth like always. Eager to shut him up, she threw her hand out and sent a magical blast at him. "Excudo!"
The energy at him hard, knocking him down and forcing the breath from his lungs, but he pushed the pain away and taking a few deep chocking breaths, kept firing at her.
His words were the only weapon he had.
"Buffy and Willow helped you when your mom stole your body! They found, housed, fed and loved you for years after you turned yourself into a rat! After you ditched them to save yourself and leaving them to burn at the stake! Willow spent years searching for a de-rat spell and when she finally made you human again, you turned around and betrayed her, feeding her magick addiction and dragging her down with you! You kept punishing everyone else just so you wouldn't feel responsible for your own weakness!"
Another bolt hit him, weaker than the last. "Shut up!" She screamed, self loathing washing over her, displacing the anger and confidence she'd felt a moment ago.
Amy hated herself, hated everything she'd become in the last few years. She didn't want to be addicted to magicks, she didn't want to have no one standing beside her. She craved for human contact, but her own sickness drove them away…or she accidentally killed them.
No, no she wouldn't let herself think about that.
Xander spoke up again, seeing his words were doing something to her, "All that power, and what do you do with it? Waste it on revenge and anger that doesn't even exist! You're pathetic Amy."
Images of the last few months replayed in her mind, her own father telling her she had a problem, that he was ashamed…that she was pathetic.
His scream of agony as he died…she hadn't meant to kill him…but it didn't make it any less real.
"Shut up!" She yelled again, not quiet to Xander, unable to shake her father's pained voice from her mind. In desperation she threw another bolt at the dark haired boy who wouldn't shut up, but he managed to deflect it with a quickly snatched up a dinner plate.
The meal on it wasn't so lucky.
"All they ever showed you was friendship, and all you ever took from that was 'poor me.'" He continued, staggering back at her next blow, but remained standing, it was even weaker.
"Grow up Amy, your not in high school anymore, this isn't some game. These people sitting behind me. They use their power for something good; they make a difference in the world. What do you do?"
"Shut up Harris!" She snapped out, punching at him with her hand instead of magic.
He dodged the sloppy punch, being more adapt at hand to hand then she was, he tripped her up and wrapped an arm around her neck, pulling her back against his chest but not squeezing tight enough to chock, but putting enough pressure to keep her still.
"Look at them" he urged into her ear, "Can you honestly tell me that this is a fitting reward for people who tried at every corner to help you? That they deserve this for trying to help a friend? And yes I said friend. They always saw you as a friend, an ally, even when you made it clear you weren't interested in joining the good fight. They respected you wanting a normal life and letting you chose your own path. Turns out that path sucked…and now you want to blame them for your lousy choices? That's more pathetic than Harmony trying to kill us, and she's a soulless vampire."
"What do you want from me?" She chocked out, the last few years alone and lost hitting her full force, her father's death by her out-of-control magicks…"I don't have anyone, anything…I don't know what I'm supposed to do or where to go…I have power and all it does is drive people away!" she cried turning in his loosened hold and latching onto him, bawling.
She couldn't shake the feeling of powerlessness, of not being in control.
The pain of a junkie.
"Well casting spells on them usually does that…" He added dryly.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please, please forgive me?" She cried, hating what she'd become over the years, feeling less human now than when she was a rat.
"I'm not the one you need to apologize to." He offered, looking at the statues that had been his family earlier in the day.
"If I take the spell off, they'll hate me…they'll kill me!" She panicked, afraid the Slayer would have no problem with gutting her and/or Willow flaying her alive as she did to Warren.
"They won't. They'd listen to you if you asked for forgiveness." He assured her.
"How do you know?" She asked, wondering if he could know.
He shrugged, "Because I'll ask them to listen."
She sat contemplating her choices for a moment, trying to decide whether to remove the spell and brave the storm, maybe find some semblance of peace and redemption…or to spell Xander too and leave them all to die.
If they died, she'd be alone again. If they lived, she may still be alone if they kicked her out.
Decision made, she utter the foreign words and sent the spell.
...
Instantly, the gang unfroze, everyone restarting as if nothing had happened. Xander had barely released a breath of relief when Angel shoved past him and roughly pinned Amy to the wall, his hand tightly around her throat.
The moment he unfrozen, his vamp senses realized hours had passed, the smell of magicks was thick in the air. When his dark eyes landed on the stranger in him home, he flipped. In a second, Liam was in Giles lap and he was demanding answers.
"Who the hell are you and what did you do to us?" He growled. Messing with his family really brought out the demon in him, and that was a sure fire way to end up dead.
"Amy?" Buffy jumped up, seeing the situation, and handed Katie over to her sister as she and Willow quickly joined Angel. "What's going on?" The slayer demanded, taking no action to restrain her husband who's hand still clutched the dark witch's throat.
"Whoa, easy big guy." Xander jumped in when the shock wore off, having promised Amy that he would talk to his friends on her behalf. "She made a mistake, but she wants to change! We do that remember, help our friends when they ask for it."
"She's not my friend." The living vampire growled, eying Amy mistrustfully.
"But she was ours." Willow chimed in. Yes, Amy had been one of the reasons she'd fallen so badly into abusing magicks, but forgiveness was part of the Scooby way. "I almost ended the world on a magicks high…and you guys helped me…because I asked for it…we need to give Amy that same chance."
Angel eyed his captive a moment, then turned to his wife and Willow, "She so much as lifts a finger…I'll carve her up like that turkey." He made sure Amy understood the threat was serious.
...
A few minutes later the four stood around Amy as she sat in the kitchen with her hands folded tightly in her lap, the young woman explaining what had happened and the details of her life over the past few years.
Willow was the most understanding, having experienced first hand what magicks addition was like and how easily control could be lost.
"I…I killed my dad." Amy whispered regretfully. She wiped a tear from her eye and continued to unload, "I came home on a magicks buzz…and he started yelling at me…telling me things…I just…I don't know what happened. I just tried to get him to stop…and I…I don't know what happened…he started to scream…"
Willow stepped forwards, wrapping her arms around the now sobbing woman.
"Does it ever go away." Amy cried onto Willow's shoulder, asking in the pain will ever end.
Sadly Willow shook her head, "Never. It's hard Amy, unbelievably at first, but if you're determined and work hard, it gets better. Slowly…but eventually it…hurts less." Killing Warren still bothered the red head sometimes, but it was few and far between now. She'd forgiven herself, and only hoped that someday Amy could say the same.
Seeing Amy was starting to open up to Willow and Xander, Buffy took her husband's hand and pulled him into the living room. Amy needed to feel safe, and having an angry living vampire and slayer standing over her shoulder wasn't going to make that happen.
"She won't do anything." She assured Angel, his eyes still dead set on the kitchen. "Ok, stop with the overprotective. I know she crashed our dinner, spelled us and our kids…and trust me, I really want to knock her around for it too…but just like with Faith, she needs a chance to change. We go in guns a blazing, and we lose her forever."
It was just like when Buffy charged his office in LA looking to rip Faith to pieces so many years ago. He'd known then Faith had the seed of redemption in her, it had just needed time to grow. The same was true now, Amy needed support, not threats.
Slowly, Angel's iron gazed drifted from the kitchen back to his wife's pleading eyes.
He never could say no to those eyes.
"Fine." He relented, still not trusting the witch he'd never met but heard only bad things about. "But she comes near the kids and I'm eating her."
Buffy shook her head at his dramatic but empty threat, she hoped it was empty anyways, but had no intentions of finding out. "Agreed." She took his hand and pulled him back towards the dinner table set up in the living room, the food piled on it now cold after being left sitting for hours.
The rest of the gang was milling about, keeping the children entertained and picking over the remains of dinner.
"Still beats that Thanksgiving with the bloody poor aimed arrows and those Indian vengeance ghosts…" Spike muttered as he sat sprawled on the couch. Faith sitting up against him.
They'd promised to behave themselves and Buffy had, abet reluctantly, let them stay for dinner.
"See that chick never mellowed huh?" The dark haired slayer commented, looking towards the kitchen. "Think she's got a chance to change?"
Buffy shrugged, "I hope so." She replied honestly while neatening up the table.
"She better." Angel muttered as he began cleaning the meat off the turkey carcass. When someone threatened his family inside his own home, it really, really nudged his darker side into full on protect mode. If Amy behaved, he'd let her work for redemption, he knew how important it was to forgive yourself, but if she attacked his family again, she was dead.
...
A short time later Xander announced he was taking Amy home with him, to both watch over her and to help her.
Willow promised she would come by daily to help too. She decided Amy shouldn't come stay with her and Oz mostly because their house was full of magical related items, Xander's wasn't.
Also it helped that Xander wasn't married.
Nothing ruined the romance in a relationship than a recovering junkie in the bedroom next door.
It wouldn't happen overnight, but if Amy was serious, then she'd succeed in beating her sickness.
The Scooby gang would make sure of it.
...
End, for now.
...
Author's Note: No, Angel isn't evil in this story. He just gets really pissed when people mess with his family.
