Seth gave a booming laugh before walking back out to join Dean. "Sorry, Baby. Just talking." He rubbed his stomach. "I'm starving...I never had dinner."

"Fuck, Kitten...why didn't you say something when I said i was ordering for me and Rome?" Dean asked him. "Any clue if John ate?"

As if on cue John walked in before Seth could answer him. He smelled of men's body wash and was dressed in low riding gym shorts. "Fuck, I'm hungry. I normally never skip meals."

Dean groaned, looking over. "You too? Rome and I already ordered thinking you ate hours ago. I doubt there is enough for everyone, so I guess we need to place a second order. What you guys want? We so need to stock that fridge. We are here for what...four or more days?"

"Sorry, yeah I'll take care of that." John apologized. "Just order me whatever Rome is having. We eat about the same."

"Um...not this time...unless it is your Load Day." Dean told him, relaying Roman's order.

Damn...uh no I can't have that." John tried not to look surprised. "Just a grilled chicken salad with Italian dressing I guess."

"I'll have the same, Baby." Seth told Dean.

"Okay." Dean made his way back to the phone. He rolled his eyes as he talked to room service. He hung up with a sigh. "Well, the food will be up together. "Some screw up in the kitchen." Roman made his way back out with track pants on and his hair twisted in a bun.

John's eyes immediately travelled to his boyfriend's body, taking in his perfect chest and the curve of his ass accentuated by the low riding pants. "You look good, Rome." He said in open appreciation.

"Thanks, Johnny." Roman gave a small smile then a stretch. "A bit stiff but more hungry." He looked at Dean. "So, where's the grub?"

Dean curled his lip. "Seems someone fell asleep taking our order and screwed up. It will be up in about twenty with their food."

"Their food?" Roman looked at John. "You skipping meals again, Daddy?"

John looked a little sheepish, knowing he knew better than to skip meals. He had his own health program for goodness sake. "Yeah...guess I had a lot on my mind. Sorry, Baby."

Roman walked over to John. He cupped his face gently in his hands peering into his eyes. "You need to do better. We both know things can get rough. You need to keep it together for yourself...for us."

John's eyes grew misty as he swallowed hard. "I know, Baby. You're right...I will." Seth felt almost like he was intruding on a private moment by being there.

Roman leaned in pecking John's lips lightly before going to move to the couch. John took a breath and walked to sit beside Roman. "So, Dean said you decided to splurge." Seth played around with his phone as he waited.

"Yeah...Enjoy different things." Roman stated simply. Dean moved sitting in a chair sort of studying the larger man. John nodded. A lump formed in his throat when he finally realized what was happening. Roman wasn't splurging. He just didn't care because he didn't expect to be around much longer. He gave a shaky breath as the knowledge hurt his heart but he didn't blame his boyfriend at all. Roman lowered his head as he blinked his eyes to try to keep calm. He could feel John's pain.

A few tense moments felt like long dragging minutes before Roman stood up. "I...I need some air." He turned to head for the private deck.

"I wish you'd stop always running away from me." John said quietly as he felt Roman move.

Roman was lost in his own head not hearing the whisper. Dean just watched as the large man left. "Damn." He sighed before focusing on John. "I know he can be distant. I thought he was getting better at that. He's been strange all the way around."

John just nodded, not looking up at either man. He was afraid if he made eye contact he might break down. The minutes seemed to drag on in silence as they waited for the food. Roman stood by the railing of the desk looking over the skyline. He finally allowed the wetness that wanted to fill his eyes pour from them, blurring his vision. Who was he fooling? He knew he wasn't fooling anyone. Should he just continue to act like nothing was wrong, nothing is changing? Continue with the same schedule, same diet to put up a front? His hands resting on the railing clenched until his knuckles turned white. Even if he tried at this point what was the point? Could he really give John a fantasy? Deep down they both knew it. What did it matter anymore?

Seth messed on his phone wishing the food would arrive to give them something to focus on other than the stifling pain in the room. John looked beyond sad as he just kind of sat, wrapped up in his own thoughts. Finally a knock on the door drew Dean from thought. He hopped from his seat going to answer it. He grabbed the cart brining it in and shutting the door. The smell of chicken followed after him. John's stomach growled at the smell of the food but the older man still didn't seem interested. "Seth...I don't know why, but Rome seems more comfortable with you. Want to get him?" Dean asked as he started to set the table.

Seth nodded. "Sure." He sat his phone down and took off to call their friend.

Dean set everything out including the white wine he added to the order. "Come on, John." John nodded, getting up and walking to sit at the table where his salad was. His eyes looked almost empty as he opened the salad dressing cup and added it to his salad. "Want wine or water?"

"Wine please." John said quietly as he took a bite of his food.

Seth found Roman outside looking lost. "Hey, Man. Food's here." He said, walking behind the Samoan.

Roman gave a faint cough, trying to hide a faint sniffle before moving to wipe his cheeks. "Th-thanks." He didn't turn away from the railing.

Seth put his hand on Roman's back almost like a brother would. "You don't have to face this alone, Rome. If you need us we're here."

"I just hate the pain it is causing John...all of you. Just wish it was over already." The larger man admitted out loud.

Seth took a deep breath. "I know, Rome. I can't even imagine what you must feel but...you really hurt John when you just took off. I heard him say under his breath 'I wish you wouldn't keep trying to run from me.' I know you're just trying to protect him but he needs you."

"I just hate...feeling so helpless...weak." Roman stated, swallowing hard feeling his insides wanting to twist.

"I get that, Rome. We all do." Seth patted him on the back. "Why don't you come in and try to eat with us?"

Roman nodded slowly. "Okay...I'll try." Roman turned to walk with Seth inside. Most of his appetite now gone. When they reached the inside John was eating at the table. He didn't even raise his head to acknowledge the men were there.

"Hey, Rome. There's yours." Dean motioned to the plate next to John. "We have water or wine to drink."

"What, you think you're Jesus now?" Roman asked trying to crack a joke.

Dean gave a scoff. "He wishes he was as good as me." Seth chuckled, sitting down to eat. The normally good natured John didn't even crack a smile as he focused on eating.

"Guess wine." Roman answered as he sat down. "Shit...the amount I been drinking I should have enough alcohol in my blood you can power a car." Dean gave a faint chuckle as he grab an empty glass for them.

Seth laughed, glancing over at John. "Yeah. Guess you'll have to tone it down after Sunday." He tried to be optimistic. John just kept eating like he was alone in the room.

"I don't mind though." Roman told him. "Yeah maybe cool to be able to drink Big Show under the table, but it's a small price." Roman took the glass Dean poured for him before he looked over the food more.

Seth began to pour dressing over his salad. "Looks good. I don't eat too much meat but wanted some protein after our fun." He gave a laugh.

"Well, it's lean meat. You're not a rabbit." Roman commented.

"Joining in on wine, Seth?" Dean asked.

"Nah, I'll stick with water." Seth grabbed a bottle and took a drink.

Dean sat down with his chicken digging in. Roman slowly began eat. "Is it good, Guys?" Seth asked to make conversation. He had never seen John so quiet. The older man was always either making jokes or begging for sex.

"Hmmm mmmm." Dean hummed nodding as he munched.

"Yeah." Roman replied as he sat down a piece to wipe his hands with a napkin. He glanced at John. "Hows yours?"

John turned his head to look at Roman. His eyes looked empty and old. "Good. I was hungry." He answered before going back to eat.

"I 'm sorry I took off like that." Roman spoke up.

John nodded as he looked at his food. "Okay, Rome." Roman's eyes dropped, focusing back on the food. He tried to apologize. What more could he do?

The meal passed quietly. After everyone was finished Seth began to gather the trash and plates. "What are you going to do now, Baby?" He asked Dean.

"Well, after the food settles I was thinking calling a night." Dean stated. "Oh and make sure to set an alarm for you." He chuckled.

Seth yawned. "Sounds good."

John stood and looked at them then Roman. "Think I'll head to my room, Guys. See you tomorrow."

"Night, John." Seth answered.

Roman looked at them after John left. "I'm at a loss, Guys."

"Besides talking to him...no clue." Dean replied. "He loves you...but you been acting off."

"Yeah I know...can't help it though. I don't want the week to end full of what ifs." Roman tried to explain.

Seth shook his head. "He's just scared, Rome like you are. There's so much to lose and I think he feels like you're pulling away from him already. Tonight John actually looked older than us for a change."

"We know you can be a loner among the pack. Fuck, we all can be at times." Dean stated. "You need to allow him in though. He will be hurt regardless."

Roman nodded standing up. "Thanks, Guys. Night."

"Night, Rome." Dean told him before the bigger man headed for the room with John.

John was sitting on the edge of the bed looking over his social networks on his iphone. He just needed a distraction from the depression he was feeling. Roman stopped at the door. He didn't know if he was welcomed. "Can I come in?" He asked before wetting his lips like he did when he was nervous.

John looked up, nodding. "Of course." He tried to offer a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. Roman walked in, shutting the door behind him. He made his way over to the bed sitting next to the older man. As soon as John felt Roman's weight on the bed he leaned over slowly, resting his head on Roman's shoulder.

Roman wrapped an arm around John, pulling him even closer. His head tilted to rest against John's. "Why do you always want to run away from me?" John said in a broken tone. "I feel like...I'm already starting to lose you."

"Sorry, Johnny...I am not used to letting my feelings out. It's not just you. I'm scared...upset...feeling helpless and a burden." Roman spoke in the softest tone he could to prevent the tears from forming again and his voice cracking.

"I know the helpless feeling." John said softly. "But you're not a burden. I want...I want to be here for you."

"You skipped how many meals because I stressed you out? All I been doing is causing stress, pain, misery."

"Not you, Baby." John said with conviction. "The demon inside causes us all stress and you have no control over that. None."

"I just wish it was all over." Roman whispered almost mumbled.

"I know, Baby. I know." The men sat in silence a few minutes before John spoke. "Was you the one who found me with Seth tonight?"

"Well, heard you two." Roman replied simply. "It's fine."

"Really? It didn't bother you? I know we never discussed playing without the others present." John had to be sure his boyfriend was really okay with it.

"Maybe shocked me a little...but it didn't bother me." Roman told him. "I trust those to not to hurt you...at least not in ways you don't want."

"It wasn't intimate." John told him honestly. "I faced away and there was no soft touching or kissing...not like when I'm with you."

"Seth already told me." Roman informed him. "Don't need to explain or think you need to defend your actions, or feel guilty."

"I just want you to know it's different." An emotion crossed John's eyes as he moved to look at his boyfriend, a raw longing mixed with a deep love like Roman was the biggest treasure on earth. "You'll always be different. That's just how it is."

A wetness wanted to coat Roman's eyes. "I...I know...I just glad you have those two...lo-looking out for you." He gave a faint sniffle. John couldn't stand to see his normally stoic boyfriend cry. He pulled him close and began to kiss him, his lips soft but desperate at the same time. Roman's lips trembled slightly as John's sweet actions pushed his emotions over the edge and tears began to trail his cheeks. John knew how much Roman must love him to be so vulnerable. It was a side he didn't show too many. The older man also began to cry as he deepened the kiss, tasting the salty tears that fell from Roman.

Roman broke the kiss fighting for breath. He didn't pull away though resting his forehead against John's tear fall from his closed eyes as gasping crying came from his lips. John pulled Roman close and wrapped his large arms around him in an almost shielding manner. "This is what I want, Baby. Your honest emotions...you don't have to hide them...I know it's scary as hell."

"I'll try harder Daddy." Part of Roman still wanted to pull away while another wanted to collapse in the older man's hold. "I haven't told my parents yet." He whispered as the tears began to calm.

John kept his arms almost locked so his lover would feel safe and comforted. "Fuck...well I brought the letters you asked, Baby."

"Th-thank you...need to give them to my one uncle Saturday." Roman commented relaxing more against John.

John ran a hand down Roman's back. "Baby, I know how you feel. We're a lot alike...both think of ourselves as tough guys and we are...but we don't have anything to prove to each other. If you ever want to talk or vent don't try to protect me."

"I'm trying, Johnny." Roman mumbled against John's chest. "Can we get ready for bed...I know you have an early day...and...I feel drained."

"Sure. I'm tired too." John let go of Roman and stood up. "Be right back." He walked to the bathroom. Roman watched and waited. He knew he had to at least wash his face before trying to sleep.

John came back out after brushing his teeth and crawled into bed. "Your turn, Baby."

"Be right back." Roman headed for the bathroom to do his night routine. He came back in removing the pants before cutting the light and joining John in the bed. "Night, Daddy. Love you."

"Love you too." John kissed Roman before turning on his side to sleep.