I probably should've given it another day or two before posting, but I dun wanna! I've started getting my buffer back, but three of it's chapters I only have like two paragraphs of. I did some brainstorming for them at work though, so I'm hoping I'll be able to flesh them out over the next few days. I do only have a plan through chapter 55, so once I finish the three chapters I'm working on now, it's back into plotting, which is usually the part that trips me up and takes a while.

I went ahead and posted that bonus chapter yesterday, so you can find it by visiting my profile.

Quinn: Not Just His

"I actually feel really stupid right now, coming to tell you this." To be honest, Quinn felt more like a massive bitch, but she saw no reason to tell Kurt that.

"Tell me what?" Kurt asked without looking up from the homework he didn't appear to be doing more than staring intently at. "Did I give you a funny look or something? Because that's just how I look at everyone."

Quinn sighed. Kurt had given her a lot of weird antagonistic looks, but that wasn't what this was about. That may have been a symptom of what this was about, but no more. "It's about Puck."

"Oh."

"I know you haven't, well, tried anything, but it's obvious with the way you watch him and get so close to him…" She sounded like the world's worst jealous girlfriend right now. Quinn managed to hold in her exasperated sigh because Kurt might misinterpret it as intended for him.

"I won't try anything." He scowled at his homework. He still refused to go to school, but at least Kurt had started trying to do some of the work Finn brought home for him.

"I know. I just… okay, I don't know. I think I came here to make sure you don't try anything, even though I know you won't. You already would have if you were going to, right?" Quinn sat down on Kurt's computer chair and tried not to think that it might be kind of hot if Kurt did try something because that was inappropriate on a level she did not even want to admit to.

For a few moments, Kurt stared at her, frowning to himself. The cheerio suspected he was trying to decide on something. She just hoped it was something she would be okay with once he spoke again.

"I, um, have tried something already, Quinn. Before I… changed my name back. I know Puck's not interested. I know he never will be. So I won't try anything else." He didn't look her in the eye, though he glared at his homework long enough Quinn would not have been surprised to see it burst into flames. She didn't blame him for looking away.

Quinn felt her hands ball into fists even though she knew she wouldn't actually hit Kurt even if she knew how to punch. "You what? Kurt, what did you do?" It couldn't have been much or Puck would likely have stopped spending so much time with Kurt. He had never been all that comfortable in his own skin when it came to sexuality; he'd just learned to fake like he was. Quinn had noticed Puck was doing a lot better in that regard after Kurt came back, probably because he had finally become close friends with a gay guy. But having Kurt actually hit on him would ruin that, wouldn't it?

Kurt chuckled and sneered. Quinn felt like they shouldn't have worked together as well as they did. "What didn't I do? I mean, Puck knew I was messing with him, trying to make him admit that I was too fucked up to really be me anymore, but still…"

"Did you kiss him?"

"No. I wasn't interested in kissing him. I thought I was just messing with him too. I… I didn't realize it was more until after. But it doesn't matter. I won't do anything."

"Then what did you do?" Quinn knew she should drop it for the countertenor's sake, but she couldn't. Something told her to worry, for Puck, not Kurt.

The boy didn't answer. He chewed on the end of his pencil, staring at the paper in front of him even though Quinn doubted he saw anything on it just then.

"Kurt, please. Puck doesn't want to admit it, but he's still having trouble too. He thinks his problems are so small compared to yours that he should just ignore him. I'm trying to help, but there's not much I can do without knowing what is wrong."

"I don't—"

"Please."

He paused, but this time Kurt looked at the cheerleader instead of his homework. Then he swung his eyes away. "I tied him to the bed and pulled his pants off." His voice was a deep, dark growl unlike anything Quinn had heard come from him before.

"You what?" Before she knew it, Quinn was standing and ready to bitch slap Kurt so hard he forgot anything but making up to Puck all the pain neither of them had yet admitted to.

"I wanted to scare him. I told myself I had to do more, but I couldn't. I tried, Quinn. I fucking tried." Quinn nearly felt herself falling into the deep pit of bitterness she heard in his voice then. It scared her almost as much as what he had done.

He tried. But he didn't say what he had tried. Quinn had a feeling she knew.

"Why…?" It came out breathlessly, almost as a whisper. Quinn worried that if she spoke any louder, all she would be able to do was scream.

"I convinced myself that if I could scare Puck into believing I wasn't me anymore, then I really wouldn't be. I explained it differently in my head at the time, but that was it." The countertenor pulled his knees against his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He didn't look Quinn in the eye.

"So you tried to rape him?" Her soul felt dirty, though the word had only passed through her mouth.

"Yes."

"And he's, what, okay with that?"

"He said he forgives me. It might be true; it might be to make a point." Kurt's nails dug into his sleeves so hard he could probably feel them stinging his arms through the fabric.

"I don't even know how to respond to that. You stabbed him. Then you almost raped him. And he still thinks you're the best thing since Starburst jelly beans."

Kurt rocked back and forth, still holding his knees to his chest and digging his nails into his arms. "I don't think he likes me quite that much."

"You're just about the only thing he talks about."

"That can't be true. When he's with me, you're the one he won't shut up about. Though it'd probably be weird if he talked to me about myself." Despite the attempt at humor, Kurt's voice didn't lighten in the least.

Quinn shook her head. "I have to go, Kurt. I… You said Puck forgave you, but I don't know if I can. I have to talk to him, okay?"

Kurt nodded. He didn't look surprised. Quinn left.

Puck had gone home because his mom needed his for something. He was supposed to come over to the Hummel-Hudson house after dinner, but Quinn had promised to be at her own house by then. She drove to Puck's and hoped his mom wouldn't mind too much.

When she arrived, Quinn found that Puck's mom wasn't even home. She'd had to help Puck's sister with something that the jock shrugged off and refused to comment on further. Before she had figured out how to say anything of what she knew she needed to, the cheerio found herself lying on Puck's bed, tucked comfortably against his side. She decided distance wouldn't help anyway and propped herself up on her elbow so she could look her boyfriend in the eye while she spoke.

"Puck, I… I've been trying to think of a more, I guess, diplomatic way of saying this, but all I can think is to come right out with it. Just please try not to freak out, okay?" She pressed her free hand against Puck's chest and tried to hold his eyes with hers.

He nodded.

"Kurt told me what happened. That he tried to…" She had already said the word to Kurt; why was it so hard to do the same with Puck? "To rape you."

"Oh." The jock shifted nervously, and Quinn felt his pulse pick up speed beneath her palm. "Well, he wasn't gonna do anything."

"He didn't in the end, but he told me he tried to. He was going to do it, planned on it, and only realized at the end that he couldn't."

Puck scowled. "Look, even if Kurt didn't, I knew he wouldn't do anything to me, okay? Besides, everything sounds worse when he tells it."

"How would you tell it?"

"He was just trying to scare me. That's all."

Quinn sighed. "He said he tied you up. Was that with your permission?"

"Well, no," Puck said.

"And he said he took your pants off."

"Well, yeah, but he didn't really touch me or anything."

"Didn't 'really'? But what did he do?" Quinn felt like some sort of monster for forcing this on Puck, but if he never faced his own problems, he would just end up in a boat much like the one Kurt was in now.

"He talked a bit and felt up my chest and thigh. But that's it. Then he untied me and we went upstairs to sit and talk with everyone."

Oh, God, when Kurt said it happened before he returned to his real name, Quinn hadn't realized he meant something like minutes before.

"Puck," she took a deep breath, "It's still assault. And even if no one blames Kurt, you still have to face what happened and deal with it."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

Puck rolled his eyes and sat up, but he took Quinn's hand in his. "Look, babe, shit happens, and it's not always awesome. Just because I'm not crying and having panic attacks doesn't mean I'm in denial. I'm allowed to be fine."

"But you do have nightmares." The first time Quinn took a nap with Puck and woke up to find him trembling and whimpering in his sleep, she had gone to his mother. Mrs. Puckerman told her Puck had a problem with nightmares lately. Sometimes he even woke up screaming but always claimed not to remember a thing by morning.

"So I hear, but who says they have to be about Kurt?"

"I'm sure not all of them are." Quinn squeezed Puck's hand.

"Fuck, Quinn. No. I'm fine. I don't have to deal with it the same way you do for everything to be okay." He scowled but squeezed her hand back.

"I don't care how you deal with it, just so long as you actually do. Right now, all you're doing is ignoring everything."

"And what do you want me to do?" He pulled his hand away from Quinn's. "Leave my friend to deal with shit he can't handle on his own all alone just because some girl thinks I need to handle something too?"

"No. I want you to help Kurt, but I want you to let 'some girl' help you too because you're clearly too stupid to help yourself." Puck wasn't in love with Kurt, wasn't even interested in Kurt that way, but Quinn felt then like the countertenor would be the reason Puck eventually broke her heart. Even though the cheerio knew it was bitchy and stupid, she hated Kurt for it.

The jock clenched his jaw and swallowed visibly. "I still don't know what you want from me, Quinn."

"I just want you to talk to me and face what has happened to you. I want you to stop withdrawing from everyone but Kurt. We're all your friends too, not just his. And we're here for you."

Puck licked his lips and pulled his eyes away from Quinn's. "I'm not—I can't… You should go home. I'll call you later."

"Puck," Quinn reached a hand up to his cheek, but her boyfriend pulled away. No, he flinched back from her.

"We can talk later okay? Just not now, and… you don't want to be late for dinner, right?"

"I have two hours."

The way Puck blinked rapidly and clenched his jaw, Quinn could tell he was holding back tears. She had seen him like this only a few times.

"We don't have to talk," she added as she wrapped her arms around Puck and pulled him so he lay with his head in her lap. "Not yet."

Puck didn't cry, but he clutched his arms tightly around Quinn's waist and waited with her until she really did have to go. When he kissed her goodbye, Puck didn't look her in the eye. Quinn smiled and told herself not to cry in front of him.

~.x.~

Did you guys see what Kurt did here?~!~

Starburst jelly beans are crack, btw. Once I have some, I just can't stop eating them.

I'm trying to decide at what point Kurt will return to school. My plotting so far covers through to about midterm. I'm basically deciding if he needs the summer off or not. ... But if he does, it'd be like a few summer scenes and a time skip to his return to school. I dunno.

Review because reviews make me happy! A lot of them also make me think (hence the long replies), and that helps me develop plot. :D