May 2020
Dozing
"We're home," Ted hisses, shutting the door behind himself and Tracy. There's no response. The upstairs landing light is on, but downstairs is all dark. "Barney?"
"Hello?" Tracy adds.
Ted peers into the lounge, kitchen, and den. "He's not here,"
"Must be upstairs," Tracy shrugs, "I'll go,"
She gives Ted and sweet little kiss, and goes upstairs. Penny's room is the first off the landing; she's buried under her pink duvet, and Tracy can tell from her quiet, slow breathing that she's sleeping. Tracy rolls her eyes at the toys scattered across the floor (more than there were earlier, Tracy notes, more amused that annoyed), then checks on Luke. Luke is fast asleep in bed, clutching Alfie, his stuffed dog. Barney is next to him on the bed, on top of the duvet with I Want My Hat Back open face-down on his stomach.
Tracy rolls her eyes.
"Hey, Diaper Man". He doesn't respond. "Psst". Nothing. "Your socks don't match your tie,"
"Wuzzat?" Barney mutters, blinking his eyes open. Sleepily, he glances down at his tie, and lifts his foot up to check his socks- then notices Tracy, "Oh, hi Trace. They do too match- charcoal and midnight blue, what's wrong with that?"
"I was waking you up, silly,"
"Oh, right. D'you have a good date?"
"It was lovely. We went to the new Italian place in-" she cuts herself off and sighs, "It isn't new. It's been open for like two years now, we just hadn't made it there until tonight,"
"Here to help," Barney says, clicking his tongue.
"Yes, on that subject- what was the last thing we said to you before we left?"
"Um...'Barney you are so handsome and awesome and we'd like to place an order for ten thousand Bro Bibs'?" he guesses.
"We told you not to stay in bed with Luke when he's going to sleep,"
"Oh. Did ya?" he grins sheepishly, glancing at Luke's body curled against him, "Oops,"
"He's not going to get the hang of sleeping in a bed if he keeps being mollycoddled," she grouses.
"I tried!" Barney protests, "I put him to bed on his own but he couldn't sleep and he was getting stressed out and he's so damn cute. You can't say no to this face,"
He touches Luke's cheek with the back of his hand. Barney loves how soft kids' skin is; their little soft unstubbled faces. Children make him calmer. Perhaps that's why his first thought when he stormed out of his apartment was to head up to Westchester; even when they're racing around or arguing or making a mess, kids' presence makes him untense and makes him forget anything he's worried about; forget the fight.
"You think you're so smooth and wily, but our kids have you wrapped around their little fingers,"
"Come on, Tracy- I Want My Hat Back," he beams, holding the book up, "Forget that Oliver Wilde stuff you and Ted are into- this is a great work of literature,"
"Yes," Tracy relents, "Especially having read him BoCo The Big Friendly Diesel eight thousand times. Come on,"
She holds her hand out to him, and reluctantly Barney creeps out of bed. He leans on the wall while Tracy mutters a few words to Luke and brushes his dark hair out of his eyes. She's right, he knows, he'll do anything those kids want. And besides, reading Luke his story and cuddling him and watching him fall asleep had been relaxing, and it had made Barney feel surprisingly wise and watchful, he like was protecting him.
"What are you gonna do when you get home?" Tracy prompts.
"Haven't thought that far," he mumbles, then looks away and adds, "Any ideas?"
"Uh-uh, buddy. I'm not Lily; I'm not writing down your lines and shoving you onstage. You gotta work this one out for yourself,"
Barney pulls a face, but any further conversation is interrupted by Ted's footsteps heading upstairs.
"Hey," he nods to Barney as he sticks his head round Luke's bedroom door, "Did the kids go down alright?"
"He stayed in bed with Luke," Tracy interjects. Barney gives her an exasperated 'you didn't have to tell him' glance.
"Until he fell asleep? Ugh, now he's gonna be clingy tomorrow night," Ted grumbles.
"He was upset and he's so cute!" Barney insists.
Ted rolls his eyes but grins at Barney anyway (perhaps proud of cute his mini-me is), "When's Robin home from DC?"
"Tuesday," Barney lies easily.
"Well, if you're still bored on Monday evening you can come over," Ted offers. Bored, they all know, is the Barneyism for lonely...although in truth when Barney turned up here earlier it wasn't because it was he was either of those things. But Ted doesn't know that. "Just remember to call this time, yeah?"
"Mmm, I will, I will," Barney promises. Tonight his taxi had been halfway to Ted and Tracy's place before he'd bothered to tell them that he was coming over. Ted had picked up and Barney had explained that Robin was in DC for the week and he was bored, and he was on his way over so Ted and Tracy could have a date and he could babysit. Unfortunately, Tracy had been texting with Robin the day before, so knew she knew that Robin was in New York. Tracy had cornered Barney as soon as he'd arrived in at the house in Westchester, and he'd grudgingly told her the truth. The fact that these days him and his wife can't seem to go half a week without screeching at each other is an embarrassing one to confess, but out of any of the gang, Tracy the easiest one to admit it to.
"Cool," nods Ted, disappearing into the bathroom.
"You know the Lily move right now would be to tell me that there is absolutely no way I'm invited round on Monday," Barney points out (probably not helping his case).
"I don't think Lily has the wrong idea," Tracy deadpans.
"I won't be here on Monday," he promises, "I'll...I'll think of some apology now in the cab home, and I'll tell her tonight or tomorrow morning; we'll have some kick-ass make-up sex. And we'll...sort something out, I don't know yet, but we'll do something and we'll stop fighting and we'll be fixed". He leans against Luke's bedroom wall and shuts his eyes tight, "God, I hope we can be fixed,"
"You gotta fix it yourself, Diaper Man," says Tracy, "I believe in you,"
"You always believe in me," he murmurs, and then he isn't quite sure how it happens but he's hugging her, holding her tighter than he can remember hugging anyone; his arms all around her small, bony body, his face in her hair. He's lifting her up and God, she's light, he feels like he might crush her. Barney has no idea if she's hugging him back but he doesn't care, because he...- emotional stuff isn't his thing, okay, but he viscerally needs to be gripping her like this. And he thinks that she gets that, because she always gets him more than he admits, and because she doesn't say anything or wriggle, until eventually he exhales and sets her down. When he does, she's silent for another moment, and he thinks she gets it. She's emotional like that; not in a touchy-feely girly cry-y way like Lily, in a kind of...spiritual way (not that Barney believes in anything spiritual). She senses stuff.
"I make you lie to your husband," he says, because it's all he can think to say.
"No, I make me lie to my husband because I'm your friend...and because I agree with you that it won't help either of you if Ted finds out how much you and Robin are fighting,"
"He gets...I don't know, he's never really understood why we're- pfft, who am I kidding, he's never understood why she married me,"
Tracy would like to retort 'Nobody understands why she married you' or 'Cos her dad did a real number on her', but she knows that he's having a tough time about this all, so she answers, "She loves you. And you love her. So are you gonna go get this girl, or what?"
"I'm gonna go get this girl. The cab journey back to the City's way longer than twenty minutes-"
"- and you and I both know that this stuff takes longer than twenty minutes," she finishes, giving him a little affectionate push towards Luke's bedroom door, "Now get out of here, Diaper Man. You got work to do".
