Disclaimer I don't own Naruto, and Ruby, also it was an awesome season, even with the sad note, and even more so you guys have been awesome so
Cut cut cut buddy
What the- Wait a minute DeadPool, why the hell are you here
Well as you know my movie came out, which by the way was awesome wouldn't you agree
No arguments from me
Right, and well believe it or not, I've read a lot of fanfics lately, and nothing seem to grab my attention more than yours
Wow, um thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed reading SSGN
Which is why I'm taking over this chapter
No way man, I already got a hard time tracking my chapters without you screwing me over
Don't worry, I'll just change the title on this one
Yeah that doesn't make me feel better
Oh look what I got, a canister of anesthesia
Seriously don't you dare
To late, and nighty night, don't let my vampire wife bite
Now that, that dildo licker is out for the time being, let's move on shall we, oh yeah almost forgot
Disclaimer Tobi, or whatever his real name is doesn't own Naruto, or RWBY, me on the other hand, DeadPool if you guys still haven't pick it up, owns just about everything,
Now lets begin this chapter of
DDPL
So there I was arriving to, hold on a minute the fuck happen here. Wait give me a sec folks.
Ok I'm back, city is fixed for now, so my adventure can continue properly
So there I was walking down the streets, and I pass by a pizza joint, and boy was it more empty. Hell if I wasn't on 9 mm bullets, and that chimichanga with C4 an hour ago, I say I was at a morgue, or at least some death trap.
So I asked the dude at the counter to give my 10 large on the house, otherwise I'd blast his face off, and use his blood as the pizza sauce for my wife.
Just as I began eating, and enjoying the first 3 pies, these group of kids came in, and ordered one cheese, while some kid got some nasty looking pizza that look like the man hard barfed from lunch. He probably did, like a lot of people have a habit of pooping, and rarely throwing up when I hold them at gun, or sword point, heh, there's a pun there.
At some point or another, these brats began staring at me, probably because they think I'm awesome or something, but whatever.
It would've been what I like to say, but the kid who was eating the barf pizza approached me, "Hey mister, I haven't seen you around here before" Naruto said.
Back up, this runt was suppose to be Naruto
That's how the author presented him as
Oh the voices in my head, tell me exactly how this ends
Well you see
That was a rhetorical question, I'm simply going with the flow here
"Hey kid, nope I actually just got here in fact" I reply, "Cool, my name is Naruto" the runt said as he offered me his hand, "Names DeadPool. Rhymes with fricken cool, don't need no school, I'm only a ladies fool, while everyone fricken drools at my achievements" I said.
"Um, ok" answered Naruto, "Anyways gotta go, and cause some shit, and panic right now. Take care, and try not to copy Goku anymore kid" I advise the boy as I left his confused as fuck.
I decided to jump out the window, and pants the guy who I startled, before doing some freaky acrobatic moves on to the roof top.
As I leave, so did the kids at the pizza joint, so I did the mature thing, and moon the brats, before making my leave. Thinking they could catch up to me, I used my best disguise, and hid from them.
When running past me I had them completely fooled, that is until mister no scope wanna be try hard had shot me square in the head.
"Neji you didn't had to kill the man" Naruto said, "I can't explain but he's still alive" replied the blind looking kid, to which I prove his point by standing up, and staring at them.
"How were you able to spot through my awesome disguise" I asked, "There's a naked girl on the cover" pointed out Naruto, "Really…shit".
If you plan to pull a Snake reference, at least be Snake before Metal Gear V, which is considered as the game that spat in the fans of MG fans more, than Raiden in MG 2
Hey the guy was awesome in his spin off game, and was better than they nerf Dante in that abomination of a remake game he was force to play in
Agreed
"So you guys wanna play like that huh, well how about I make it more of a challenge for you all, and by all of you, I mean mainly Blondie, and emo" I said as I hit the button between my legs, as the fan girls get to see my sweet ass.
Somewhere
I had taken Naruto, and Sasuke into a no way to escape room, and left them a note.
"Hey Sasuke, there's a note" said the blonde runt
I already said that kid
"It's written in crayon" grumbled the emo who would be perfect as one of the sparkling dildo vampires from the shitty Twilight Saga that middle school girls like to forget, as the joined team DeadPool.
"It says that there are costumes meant to specifically be worn for each of us" Sasuke said, as he and his friend saw the costumes behind them, "We got to put them on, and answer letters from the fans".
That was a lie everyone, it was actually all written by me
"Let's get this over with then" said Naruto.
As they finally got dressed, they got into position as the cameras appear, and a final note saying this'll be done live, or their friends will die.
"Whatever" grumbled the emo brat, "Hello, I'm the emo Santa Sasuke. This is stupid" "Hey Sasuke, do I really need this damn thing in my mouth" choked Naruto as he had reins over his mouth, to which the emo tugged on.
"Idiot, we gotta go through with this all the way, otherwise that weirdo is gonna kill our friends" Sasuke said with a smirk knowing he can easily abuse Naruto.
"Now let's get started with fan letter number one" Sasuke said.
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
I don't care much about the popular Naruto being ship fan base, I want to see more Gaara fanfics, and fan art. Your pal, David
"Well David, I seriously don't know what you're talking about, so no comment" replied Sasuke as he took out a new letter this time.
"Great it's from a chick" Sasuke said as he rolled his eyes
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
I've been a good girl all year, and I was hoping you can hook me up with a man. You see I am lonely, and starving for affection. He would have to be young, cause older men don't do anything for me. He would need to have blonde hair, blue eyes, birthmarks on his face, and likes Washinton Park. Hope you can help me, Veronica
When Sasuke had originally read through it, he thought it was meant for him, but as he continue reading, he learned it wasn't for him, but for his blonde idiot, who kept commenting at the list like saying, 'Yeah, cool, that's nice, hell yeah, Washinton Park rules'.
"Blah blah blah, this chick is into morons. Sorry Veronica I don't know any hyperactive color blind idiots like those, but you know send a letter back if you want to taste the power of the Uchiha" Sasuke said as he crumpled up the letter, and said the last part to mock Naruto.
"Hey Sasuke hold on, I think that chick was talking about me" Naruto said, "Yeah right dude. Fan girls don't think your sexy, now let's open a new letter" Sasuke said as he reached into his sack.
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
All I ask is for you to hook me up with Naruto. Your cute too. Please set me up with Naruto, I'm his number one fan, Lucy
"Hey Sasuke see that chick wanted me" Naruto said, "Yeah, what a dumb broad" he said as he tossed the letter to the side, "Give me that letter you emo bastard".
Wrong words as Sasuke began whipping Naruto, as he tried to escape, but the brat pulled on his reins, and continued whipping him, as I laughed my ass off, and see the viewer ratings continue growing.
"Damn it Sasuke, give that letter" Naruto demanded, "Damn it Naruto, if you try order me around, I'm gonna take those antlers, and have you be the tester to a new dildo model. Now shut up, we still gotta read more letters" Sasuke said as he reached for a new one.
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
All I request for is Naruto. I would also like a year supply of ramen. I would give him 3 meal a day, and he could sleep with me in my California King size bed, and let him do whatever he wants with me when we're together late at night. Anna.
P.S., I would be very sad if you can't fulfill.
"Whoa. There's a chick that wants to sleep with me, and go all the way cool" Naruto said as he was very hype from the letter, "Damn it, these letters are starting to piss me off" Sasuke said as he began feeling jealous for the lack of fan girl love for him.
"Come on Sasuke, give the letter" begged Naruto, as Sasuke began crumpling it up, like the previous ones, "Come on please. Damn it. Bastard cut it out" was the last thing Blondie said before emo gave it to him, by throwing it at his head, and shutting him up.
"Anyways next letter" Sasuke said as he already began reading it.
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
Can I ask for one thing. Can you kick Naruto's ass till he gets hemorrhoids, he's a moron, Johnny.
"Well Johnny boy, emo Santa Sasuke would happily grant your wish. Here Naruto, you can have this letter" the emo said as he crumple it up, and tossed it at the fox boys head, before mercilessly whipping, and pulling on the kids reins.
"Anyways, here's a new letter" Sasuke said
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
I hope you guys are having a good time right now. I'm doing a nickel in the big house, with parole if I behave well enough. I didn't do anything evil or anything. I got in trouble by being a bad parent, because some old spinster with a bible had claimed I was. Anyways I gotta go soon, it's also my birthday, and the Wardens idea of a party is pitching a tent to 50 shades of Pool, and eating some crappy chimichangas.
Hold on folks, I gotta find, and kill the bastard for spitting on the great name of chimichangas
"I seriously didn't need to know the last part, and I never heard of chimichangas" replied Sasuke, "Let's get another one" insisted Naruto
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
I was wondering if you can hook me up, and give me Kushina's phone number. I've been dying to score with a red head goddess like that for a long time now, and no red head beauty has gotten me hard like this in a long time. Your brosky, Nathan.
"Dude, this guy has heard of your mom, and wants her number" Sasuke said as he crumple up the letter, and tossed it to the side, "Hey no way man, I ain't giving that kind of information out" Naruto replied.
"What's the problem dude. Show some appreciation to our fans" Sasuke said happily knowing damn well this is to rich of an opportunity to pass over to torment his friend.
"Damn it you bastard, I ain't gonna give away my mom's contact information to some guy I never met" replied Naruto, "Does your mom even have a cell number to reach her, better question: do they even have cell phones in the afterlife" asked Sasuke.
"Well, I guess you-uh…uh. We could always ask Art about that whenever we get the chance, like he knows how to contact the dead better than us" Naruto said honestly.
"Whatever, let's just read more of these stupid letters" Sasuke said
Dear emo Santa Sasuke,
It would be awesome if I can have you, and Naruto. I'm 20 years old, I'm a rabbit faunus, who has died her hair violet, and red, and I got big thingies, and for you Sasuke, I can either have me ears up, or down as to what gets you off. See you later you sexy studs. Easily yours, Terra Mi Up.
P.S. I'll be waiting for you 2 naked in my bed.
Normally any love letters by chicks don't bother Sasuke, but if it's a faunus girls who dyes their hair, than Sasuke would bounce on that in a heartbeat. Hell he was rubbing one out at least 5 times after he met Neon.
"Dude what's the address" asked Naruto, "Uh, I'll just put this back into my sack" Sasuke said as he did put it in his other sack.
"Come one man, she said both of us" Naruto reminded, "No way am I double teaming with you when it comes to a chick as hot as this one" replied Sasuke
Alright I'm finally back, and- damn it they continued on without me. Oh well, this was starting to bore me anyways, so might of well put it out of its misery.
I had then jump through my screen, and had knife through at emo right between his eyes, and neck snap his boyfriend, before I decided to take them to the next event.
New location dudes
Really Wade, at least try remembering the name of the location your about to make a reference on
Dude, the voice in my head, I've just made, and been in piece of pop culture you can think of, so it's hard to remember the names of these places, unless it's from the Marvel, or Capcom, and DC universes.
The viewers are gonna take this as lazy writing you do know that right?
Yeah well, they can settle that with my dick, now shut up, and let me continue this
So there they were, along with Ruby, Yang, Weiss, Blake, Gaara, Neji, Lee, and Art.
"Hey guys, where are we" asked the blonde with the huge hooters, "It's a long story, and I don't think we got time to explain" Sasuke said as he showed everyone a letter as to what they gotta do.
As the brats began suiting up what I got in store for them, I finally decided to play the role of the games announcer.
"Attention brats, and chick with the huge boobies, you'll be playing a game where if you die, you'll simply will respond back to life. The only way to win is by gaining achievements" I said.
"And how do we do that" asked the emo brat, "Check your wrists, it'll show you which ones you can earn, and give a chance for you to fight for. Now enough chatting, I'll tell you guys when to start right after I'm done shitting out those bullets from my body" I said as they heard me dropping a deuce on the announcer box.
"I don't think I can sleep for a while" Shikamaru said as he began laying out traps for his bombs, "The hell am I suppose to use these for" Gaara whined as he was placing down a tool box, and only had wrench on hand.
It was one hell of a view folks, with these kids killing, and dying, and earning achievements, I would explain, and show it to you guys, but only exclusive pay-per-viewers only.
Eventually it ended, and I took them to their final challenge.
This time somewhere futuristic
Come on Wade, you probably disappointed a lot of people with the lack of action in the last segment, might as well get it right, and tell the viewers where we're at
Hey don't get me wrong pal, I would, though I think we'd get into some legal trouble if we did
Fine, tell them this adventure now
So this time it was now Naruto, and Gaara dressed up in robes, and were going down a corridor, where I was, but I was wearing a black robe, and everyone knows I look great in black, especially my babe Death.
I took out a metal rod that would look like a double edge stainless steel dildo, but I proved them wrong when I pressed the button, and the thing began vibrating.
"Oh shit, hold on fellas" I said as I grabbed the right one, and in an instant it became a 2 sided laser sword, with the colors being red, and black.
What, if I want a black, and red laser sword, let me have one, considering how the blonde brat got an orange one, and his red hair friend got a red one, when he's one of the good guys.
So there we were, transitioning battle, as they tried attacking me, but I kept on narrowly dodging them.
Like I said folks, legal issues, so I'll rush to the good part
Blondie had sliced me in half, and I fell into a pit.
Wait a minute, is this how the adventure ends. Wait a minute, why did my narration voice change to…oh fuck me
Oh Wade. Tell me what rocks more than the Titanic as it's delivering the strongest metal in the universe
I don't know. Commedium.
Nope, a band called LINKIN PARK
Oh my god were you one of those emo fan boys, who listen to them after watching a Naruto fan made AMV on the internet dude
I was a fan before that, and if there's anything I learn from their music, it's how to move on, and live life to the fullest.
So you're not mad at me
Get me a live chicken, and a bag of salt, and vinegar chips, then we'll see where it leads us
Fair enough, later folks. My wife is probably destroying half of Manhattan right now, so I gotta fly. Maybe even cop a feel from Rogue.
Well now that he's gone, I'd like to apologize folks, for having him waste a huge chunk of your valuable time in the most unnecessary chapter, with no true action. The sad part is, is that the next, and real chapter to SSGN will be short.
So until then, this has been your Humble Narrator.
