From Now On
"Would you like another cookie?"
"Yes please."
Yazuha smiled fondly, pushing the plate of desserts across the table, towards the young girl.
Kirimi continued to ignore everyone else's dirty looks as she reached for one of the tiny cupcakes.
The whole house went into lock down when she first stumbled into the kitchen. The maids had the main gate locked and every downstairs access blocked. No one could neither enter or leave the entire premises of the estate.
Haruhi could hardly believe such a fuss was because of this little girl. She had seen typhoons that caused less panic than she did.
She looked to her right, where the twins stood across from each others, looking like the polar opposite of themselves. Kaoru sat in one of the tall armchairs, his back stiff, as he stared at Kirimi. His eyes burning, as if expecting her to catch fire. While Hikaru was perched against the closest wall, arms crossed, kneading his fingers anxiously, looking so lost in thought, he probably wasn't even listening to the conversation.
Kirimi had walked right into the estate without knocking. She said her brother was out of town, and she was left home alone. Considering their household was over protective of her, that was hard to believe, but even so, she asked if she could stay; with them.
No one even had to ask to know Kaoru and Kazuha were against it. They were on edge, both ready to jump to the chance to say, "no."
Everyone else seemed to be indifferent, and she knew it wasn't her place to say anything. She might be living with them, but she knew, in this situation, being a "Half blooded Nekozawa" her judgement meant nothing.
If she wasn't in a, life or death covenant with Hikaru, she wouldn't be welcomed here either.
Yazuha cringed at the air in the room. It was tense and suffocating. She was fine with her staying. A little uneasy, but what harm could a little girl do? Her presence was nothing like the Nekozawa's she was familiar with. She had been there when their maids sat fire to their courtyard. She saw what they did to Haruhi after taking her into their home.
She knew very well their two families were a little less than at war with each other.
Although... there was something about Kirimi that made her feel sorry for her.
But she knew she didn't have that final say either. Yazuha looked across the room, towards her eldest son, his eyes lost to reality as he paid close attention to Kirirmi, as she moved for another cookie, watching her hands like a hawk.
Kirimi noticed his uncomfortable stare, and awkwardly pulled at her sleeves.
If anyone was going to hold their family's grudge against her, it would be him...
"She can stay."
Kazuha nearly choked on her tea before spitting it back into her cup. "No she can't."
Haruhi's eyes went wide, throwing her gaze to her boyfriend. She would have choked too if she had the nerve to drink anything. He was the only one she was afraid of ask permission from but...
She saw the look on his face. He looked... sad, and suddenly felt washed with dread.
Haruhi opened her mouth, to ask him why, but Kaoru beat her to it.
"She's lying," he clenched his teeth to try not to yell but his words came out in a hiss. "Nekozawa wouldn't just leave her with us while he leaves the country."
"It's true," Kirimi muttered. He turned to her, appalled, as if she had the nerve to say anything. "He really left for Russia to see our father."
"And I don't want to be alone." She scooted into Haruhi's side, squeezing onto her arm. "I want to stay with Haruhi."
"It doesn't have to be a big deal." Haruhi spoke up. "I can take her in."
Kirimi's face lit up. "A sleepover at your house-"
"Haruhi has to stay here."
She glared. "I don't have to stay anywhere."
"But-" he started, but he bit his tongue. Kaoru refused to look his brother in the eye since he stormed out of the kitchen, but fixed his gaze on him now, cold and hard, waiting for him to agree with him. There was no way he was actually serious.
Hikaru pulled his eyes away from the girl, turning to the maid standing idly by the door. "Take up extra blankets. She can stay with Haruhi in her room."
Kaoru shot up from his chair, ready to argue some more, but in vein. The decision was already set in stone, apparently, as Hikaru said nothing else and left the room.
After a moment, Kaoru couldn't hold still anymore and followed after him.
Yazuha cleared her throat. She smiled again and held up her cup. "More tea?"
Mayuki sat in the windowsill, clutching a pen into her palm. Her hair freshly escaped from her ponytail as it draped messily over her shoulders.
The sun was setting, an orange tint hitting the window just right that it lit up the divorce file in her lap.
Kaoru's file sat snugly behind it. It was filled out and already sealed.
She didn't hesitate to write everything in permanent ink. The moment her mother handed her the files, she was ecstatic. She couldn't wait to get this burden weight off her shoulders.
But, as she was slipping it into the file cover, she noticed she left one section blank.
Her hand had been hovering over the space for her name for the last hour and a half. She was so sure she wanted this. After so long, she thought she finally had the nerves. But now... she didn't know.
They tried working it out. She wanted to, at first. It was the only thing she's ever wanted so badly. However now, the idea seemed alien.
Mayuki moved her hand through her hair, touching the mark on her neck. It wasn't like they could be with other people. She couldn't rid him completely out of her life, and nobody would ever want to be with her, having Kaoru as her strange third wheel.
Her nose curled, scribbling on the edge of the paper so hard the tip of her pen went straight through it.
What was the point.
"We had cake."
"Did you?"
"For no reason."
Haruhi snorted, watching Kirimi jump out from under the covers again, apparently took full of sugar to calm down. Her expression bright, and full. She wasn't like a thirteen year old at all. She reminded her a lot of Honey, back when he was in high school.
"Well, I'm sure Yazuha just itches for a reason to break out of fine china and junk food." She said.
"And then she took me into her studio." Kirimi grinned, pushing the cowl hat back on her head, to hold in her wet hair. "She said I could wear one of the dresses next time. And-" she continued to ramble off.
Haruhi had to stop to catch her breath, and she wasn't even the one talking, and Kirimi hadn't stopped talking since she got out of the bath. She knew the Nekozawa were well off, maybe even more than the Hitachiin's, so it was odd that their luxuries were so foreign to her. She was even impressed by all the tall ceilings.
She even had to borrow some of her clothes because she had showed up with only the stuff on her back.
"She's planning the Christmas party." The girl tried not to squeal, wiggling back down into bed, "She said, if my brother doesn't come back by then, that she'll design me my own dress just for the party."
Christmas party? Haruhi frowned. Was it that time already? She hadn't even noticed.
She looked back at her, seeing as she was too giddy to sleep, it was pointless even to mention it.
"Didn't take them long to warm up to you then, did it?" Haruhi smirked, fixing her pillow back into it's proper spot, as she slid towards the edge of the bed, also giving up trying to dry the girl's hair. "I guess... their little family feud isn't all that serious after all."
Kirimi hesitated, looking down at her hands, pulling her sleeves over her knuckles. "Depends... on how you look at it."
"It's part of my schooling at home," she muttered, "so I know why. Our families used to do terrible things to each other. Somethings for no reason, but I never actually seen a Hitachiin before, until now, and... most of them have been really nice to me."
"But it's been over a hundred years since anyone actually killed someone," she added, rubbing her wrists under the blankets, "I don't know why we can't just forget about it."
Haruhi was quiet. She remember being told some horrific story by one of the Nekozawa's maid's, about a woman being locked away until she died, but were the Hitachiin's really murderers back then? She had heard of people setting fires, and signing treaty between the two, but she didn't think anyone actually died in cold blood.
"I want to stay here forever." Kirimi wiggled back into bed, balling the blankets up to her chest to get more comfortable. "I never want to go back."
Haruhi chuckled, standing up. "Your brother will miss you."
She didn't say anything else, and burrowed herself under the covers. She wasn't going to think about home. She wasn't going to think about the maids. She wasn't going to think about her brother. Just the desserts Miss Hitachiin promised her for breakfast, and a tour around the gardens.
She squeezed her eyes shut. The pretty dresses and all the lights. Yazuha had shrouded her in gifts since she arrived, and she liked being surrounded by so many people.
She didn't want to be alone anymore.
Haruhi watched as she pulled the blankets over her head.
Why couldn't they forget about it? Who exactly was Fumiko and why did she still have such a hold on them? On everybody? What power did she hold and how she still dictate how they spent their lives?
What was she?
After Kirimi stopped making sounds from her burrow inside the covers, Haruhi reached over and turned out the light. The girl had kept her up longer than she thought she did. She knew it was late, but she couldn't stop thinking about the look on Hikaru face earlier. She needed to see him.
She frowned. They interrupted, and never got to finish talking that morning, so she never got to really explain how she felt. She did tell him they needed to take a step back. Maybe he took that literally...
Haruhi was quiet as she left the room, careful not to make a sound as she closed the door. Everyone must already be asleep, but she had a gut feeling Hikaru was still awake.
If he was still home.
Her bare feet tiptoed a few steps down the hall, holding her breath until she reached the door to Hikaru's room. Maybe he didn't want to see her. She hadn't seen him since this morning. Maybe he was avoiding her.
She stopped with her hand on the doorknob. Hushed voices were coming from the other side. It sounded like the one of the twins, but before she could listen in on what they were saying, the door opened under her hand, and, like she thought, Kaoru was the one who stood in front of her.
Haruhi awkwardly took a step back. She knew he must still be mad. He was fuming earlier when he stomped out of the living room and they hadn't spoken a private word with each other since he shouted at her in the kitchen, but he looked more surprised than angry to see her.
His eyes were wide, but he quickly recovered. "Haruhi."
"Kaoru. I-... I'm sorry, I thought Hikaru might be-"
She paused as Kaoru looked over his shoulder. There was thud from inside the room, and when he looked back, he smiled at her, softly.
"Is... she settling in well?" He asked, though he didn't sound too curious.
"Yes." She muttered hesitantly, trying to steal a peak from around his arm. "I'm sorry, by the way... This was a lot to ask."
He was still smiling. She could only wonder what happened to make him change his mind. "Don't worry about it."
Before she could react, he pushed himself off the door frame and stepped past her. His fingers threaded through her hair on top of her head, heading to his own room.
"G'night."
Haruhi opened her mouth to say the same, but her words were replaced with a half gasp as his hand pushed against her back, gently shoving her into the bedroom, and her eyes immediately fell on Hikaru.
He was perched on the edge of his bed, still dressed in what he was wearing this morning, even though it must be close to midnight now. Turns out she was right about him not sleeping. He probably wasn't even close to.
He must have heard her talking to Kaoru but he didn't look up at her. His face was turned, rubbing his hands together in his lap.
She tapped her knuckle against the open door, until he finally turned. She watched as he tried to falter his expression into a smile, but he apparently wasn't as good at that as Kaoru was.
"Hey."
His eyes locked with her for a few, quiet seconds before he looked down at the floor. "...Hey."
"You okay?"
He didn't say anything, but even if there was something wrong, she knew he wouldn't tell her. She looked down at his hands he was trying hide. Between his fingers, his knuckles were red and swollen.
She took slow strides, hearing the floor creak under her feet. She sat beside him, and he shifted, trying to move away from her, but her hand brushed against his cheek, and slid behind his shoulders. She forced him to lean into her, until his head was tucked under her chin.
Her fingers smoothed the tangles in his hair, soothing him, making him move closer, hiding his face in her chest.
She sighed, looking at his hands. "You never learn."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Everything," he muttered quietly. "I shouldn't have forced any of this on you like I did. I should have asked if this is what you wanted."
She scoffed, "I don't like that you kept it from me," then brushed his fringe out of his eyes. "And to be honest... I'm still trying to understand it all. This whole inevitable death part is still sinking in."
His shoulder tensed against her.
"But we'll get through it." She added.
He tensed, wrapping his arms around her waist, nearly chewing a hole in his bottom lip. "I've treated you badly ever since the day I met you, and... I haven't gotten better."
Haruhi frowned, and pulled back just as he was lifting his head up to meet her gaze. His eyes were glazed over with the pain of guilt and overwhelming feat that radiated off of him so strongly, she felt it in her own chest. It hurt just seeing him look so defeated.
She caressed her thumb across his cheek, wanting to wipe it all away.
He took her hand away, and held it tight against his chest, not breaking their eye contact. This closeness scared him, but it was closeness he needed and he was even more scared to let her go.
"And I'm sorry... for keeping this from you, too." His voice broke, and she squeezed his other hand in his lap.
"I'm not lying to you about anything. I promise." He whispered. "I just... don't know how to tell you. It's... it's complicated."
This must be about that secret Kaoru was talking about earlier in the kitchen, she thought. It must've been what they were talking about tonight, before she came. Kaoru was probably giving him a hard time about it again.
"It's not because I don't trust you." He added frantically, pulling both her hands close to him, watching her eyes closely, unblinking. "I... trust you with my life."
Haruhi couldn't help it. Her face broke into a smile and tried to keep herself from laughing at him.
"You don't have to look at me like that," she said softly, pulling one of her hands away to touch his cheek, to pull his face forward until forehead were touching. She felt his warm breath on her nose, and tried to pull him even closer.
"It's alright. I understand." She said. "Tell me... when you're ready. I'll wait."
He went silent, and started to lean into her again, feeling her warm hand thread through his hair, running down his cheek, down along his neck. He missed this.
"Is this because of what happened last night?" She mentioned, uneasy. "Is that why you let Kirimi stay with us? Don't tell me you guilt tripped yourself."
His face curled in a pout, loosening his tight hold on her hands as he looked away. "I can... do nice things without a reason."
"Yes, but doing nice things for Nekozawa's isn't exactly a habit of yours."
"I guess you didn't notice either."
"What'd you mean?"
He sighed. "... She ran away from home. Her brother might have left the country, but I doubt she told him where she is. Their maids are probably looking for her right now."
She raised her brow. "Why would she lie?"
Hikaru chuckled darkly, looking down at her arm. "Would you want to live alone with those people? After her brother left, she probably jumped to the chance to leave."
Haruhi followed his eyes down to the gash on her arm, that she still kept in a bandage. She shivered, thinking back to that day. Thos emaids were obsessed with the well being of the Nekozawa's, but after realizing she was one of them, that old woman didn't hesitate to cause her harm, or try to keep her locked away in that house. If Hikaru hadn't showed up that day, she'd probably still be there.
"You think... That's how they treat her?"
He shrugged. "Who knows. But those marks on her arms came from somewhere."
"If they find out she's here-"
"They'll probably think we kidnapped her and set our house on fire."
She understood now why everyone was so against Kirimi staying. There was obviously more to this feud than she understood, and letting a Nekozawa stay with them was a gamble for the Hitachiin's.
Hikaru took that gamble without even thinking.
And she couldn't help but feel that he did it for her.
After awhile, she nudged his shoulder, watching his face slowly morph into a childish grin. "You softy."
He turned to her, his face so close, she could feel his warmth. She rtied to shift closer, to wrap her arms around him, but he slipped just out of her reach.
He moved his hand to her cheek, guiding it down her neck, and took a piece of her hair, twisting it between his fingers. He wanted her so much closer. Right now he wanted her as close as he could possibly be with her, but even more, he wanted to be the one who took that step back. Maybe they didn't have a lot of time, but he could make time. And they needed it more than he realized.
He owed her time.
They sat in silence a few more minutes. There was a wall between them. There was things about each other they didn't understand and there was things that confused them, but they both came to the silent agreement that if it was going to work between them, they needed to understand themselves before they could even begin to understand each other.
And that was definitely going to take time.
Haruhi saw the lonely shadow in his eyes , cupped his face.
"Kirimi is already sleeping." She said. "I could... stay here tonight."
"No." He breathed. "Not tonight."
"I don't feel right tonight." He saw her brow curl in concern, buthe silenced her before she could say anything. "Don't worry. I just... don't want anything to happen. Like last time."
His finger slipped inside her sleeve, and she shuddered. His touch was feather-like as he touched the top of her shoulder. "If I had it my way, I'd want you to stay as far away from me as possible."
She smirked, grabbing fists full of thick unruly hair, and tipped his head back until he was looking at her. "Good luck with that."
Hikaru smiled. "Goodnight, Haruhi."
She smiled back. "Get some sleep."
He stuck his tongue out.
