Chapter 49
Everything moved in slow motion. Laggy and distorted. The more she blinked the more the room swayed to and fro. She dared not stand up yet, for fear her legs would betray her and give out beneath her feet. The cup in her grasp felt too large, the porcelain too smooth against the palms of her hands. Had the cup always been so smooth? She wasn't quite sure. Reina brought the teacup closer to her face, suddenly in awe of the decorative grain of the china; she had never fully acknowledged the workmanship before. Out the corner of her eyes she spotted Usa-chan watching her intently.
"That wasn't so bad now was it?" Reina smiled lopsidedly, her cheeks already flushed. Usa-chan snuck a glance at the kettle who was still studying with its beady gaze; the potion had already begun to do its job. It wouldn't be long now until fever ravished her entire body and her smile was replaced with a grimace of pain. He couldn't feel guilty. Reina had wanted this. She had begged for this. She knew, in part, what she was getting herself into.
Reina sat with a dazed expression on her face. Her hair was sprawled everywhere from running through the woods whilst her obi belt had become ruffled and unkempt. She was drunk. Leaning her chin on her hand Reina studied Usa-chan, she much resembling a drunkard at a bar who refused to leave after closing time.
"You know, you are far too cute for your own good. I can totally see why Kohaku doesn't let you out of his sight. If you were human I can imagine you to be a hit with the ladies - or men – whatever tickles your fancy." Reina giggled childishly, swaying in her seat as she poked Usa-chan gently in the stomach with her index finger. The tiny rabbit placed his paws over his stomach defensively, blinking between Reina and the kettle. The kettle, knowing something like this would happen, whistled sharply, clearly voicing its disapproval about the situation.
For all they knew Tsukuyomi already knew about their treachery, how they had defied a deity to help their kin. The kettle did not oppose the young Hitori regaining her memories, he opposed her having to endure more hurt, possibly more than her heart could handle.
"Itachi, be a dear and put the kettle on whilst I lay Kohaku down would you?" Tomo called from the front door; Itachi nodded and headed for the kitchen, Reina's clone in tow.
"Itachi!" Reina chirped, standing up with a sudden enthusiasm that made her stumble over her kimono. Itachi, quick to her aid, caught her in his arms, a slightly bewildered look on his face.
"Reina-chan what has you so chirpy all of a sudden?" Itachi questioned, noting how the clone dispersed like petals in the wind rather than in a puff of smoke.
"What have you been doi~" He began through the indenture, stopping when he noticed Usa-chan on the table alongside the empty teacup. "What have you done Reina?" Reina giggled spritely, fawning over Itachi's hair.
"I don't ever think I've told you how pretty you are. I mean," She hiccupped mid-sentence, grinning bashfully. "Excuse me. But, what I was saying is that no man should ever have such lovely eyelashes. It's not fair! You don't need them! We do!" Reina leaned in close, carefully outlining his face, drinking in each of his features as if she had never seen him before.
Itachi gawped at her. Just what had been in the teacup? Lips parted, Reina meticulously traced his cheekbone, trailing the tips of her fingers along the hollow of his cheek before she outlined his cupid's bow gently.
"You have such kissable lips Itachi, you should probably use them more. Don't want them going to waste." Reina murmured, more to herself as when she met his gaze, her cheeks flushed a darker shade of red. "It would be a shame, that's all."
Had the situation been different and Reina merely drunk, Itachi would have laughed. But this was not the Reina he knew and loved. She was delirious, high on whatever substance she had consumed. Amidst his thoughts, Reina's smile melted away, leaving a dazed look on the newly appointed head's face.
"Reina-chan, what's wrong?" Itachi questioned, still holding her up.
"Itachi, I don't feel too good. I think I need to lie do~" Before she could finish her sentence her eyes rolled into the back of her head; Reina lolled to the side, her entire body becoming limp. She was up in Itachi's arms in a flash; when Tomo appeared in the kitchen, her cheeks paled ghostly white.
"Reina-chan!? Is she ok?! What's wrong with her?" Tomo pleaded, looking over her granddaughter's motionless form with fear oozing from her every pore.
"Heat stroke. I think it's heat stroke." Was all Itachi replied. He knew it was logical; the amount of layers in the kimono made it easy to believe. The weather was on their side; the sun was still beating down mercilessly and the kitchen was stuffy.
"Go place her in bed, remove the obi and outer layer. I'll prep a cold compress." Following Tomo's orders Itachi headed for Reina's room, occasionally adjusting how she lay in his arms. At the threshold to her bedroom Itachi paused. Despite their brief affair he had never once stepped foot in her room; he wasn't sure what waited for him on the other side of the door. Hearing Reina groan in his arms, Itachi shook himself from his thoughts and edged the door open with his elbow.
What waited for him didn't surprise him.
Books. Endless rows of books coated the walls, the odd stray littering her bedside table or writing desk. In the occasional opening in between heavy bound volumes and neatly stacked scrolls, the odd photograph could be seen. Smiling faces and wild grins beaming from behind the glass.
He couldn't help smiling. Reina was a bookworm and he loved her for it. The room faintly smelled of lavender, it wasn't an overwhelming smell like some scents could be; it was subtle, soothing. Just like Reina.
With the utmost care, Itachi maneuvered Reina so she was sat up against his shoulder; her head nestled in the crook of his neck. Crouching in front of her Itachi hesitantly undone the crumpled bow of her obi belt, the silk unfolding like giant palm leaves. Even through the fabric of his shirt Itachi felt the heat radiate from Reina's cheek - she was burning up.
"You know, you could at least take me to dinner first." Reina croaked softly, Itachi's lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. Allowing her to move of her own accord Itachi shadowed Reina like scaffolding, ready to move should she begin to fall. Wincing, Reina peeled away the first layer of heavy silk, then the second and so on until all that remained was the cotton yukata.
"How are you feeling?" Itachi asked.
"Dreadful, but I've been through worse." Reina smiled weakly as she lowered herself onto the bed, a sigh escaping her lips when her head met the pillow.
"What did Usa-chan give you?" Itachi called through the bond, adjusting the pillow beneath her head.
"Something to bring my memories back. I can't go on like this, living half a life not knowing what has happened. I can't do it Itachi." Tears threatened to spill over her lashes as she spoke, the exhaustion in her voice was clear. She had been living half a life, she was a mere shadow of her former self in comparison to the woman that she once was. It would be cruel of him to condemn her decision to change that.
"I understand." Squeezing her hand gently, Itachi removed the kanzashi pin from her hair with his free hand, setting the ornate pin down on the bedside table. Reina held his gaze momentarily, managing to squeeze his hand in return.
"I'll be back later today, I have another meeting with the Hokage then I'll come check on you later." By the time he finished speaking Reina was already out for the count, his chest ached at seeing her so fragile. He rose to leave hearing Tomo usher down the hall, her steps quick and nimble. He didn't want to leave but he knew she was in good hands with Tomo.
"Itachi?" Reina whispered, her eyes mere slits as she attempted to look at him; he paused, waiting for her to continue. "I'm so sorry we couldn't have more children. I would have liked a big brood."
Itachi froze where he stood. The back of his throat constricted, it suddenly difficult to breathe or think. He wanted to tell her that it didn't matter, he had her and Kohaku and that's all he cared about. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair and tell her that she was good enough for him, that he didn't care about reinstating his clan.
But he couldn't.
"How is she doing? Has her temperature dropped?" Tomo asked, a bowl of water occupying her hands. Itachi shook his head and turned to leave, murmuring a quiet "No." as he went. Tomo stared after the ebony haired male, her lips puckered in silent question.
She could have sworn she saw tears prickle his dark eyes.
Reina was boiling. Not hot. Boiling. Had she not ventured to hell and back she would have sworn this was what the fiery pits of hell felt like. It was like she was sat in an onsen that was far too hot, but she was too polite to get out. Beads of sweat ran down her throat, slipping away beneath the folds of her kimono, which was probably already soaked through. She dreaded to think how she smelled.
She wanted to open her eyes, to fight back against the fever that ravished her body. Already fatigued Reina roared at herself until her throat was dry and raw. No words passed her lips. Not even the smallest squeak.
Open damn you. Open.
Counting back from ten Reina took the time to inhale deeply; occasionally her bones would click and pop as more and more air filled her lungs. Despite the fever she felt no different. No memories flushed back and bombarded her senses - it was the opposite. Nothing. She remembered nothing.
I've failed. All this was for nothing.
"Was it all for nothing?" A voice called out from amidst the darkness. It was calm, familiar.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Reina called out blindly into the darkness. Laughter. That was the person's response.
"Oh my Reina-chan, you haven't changed a bit. Still inquisitive as ever." She knew that voice. Years had passed since she had it heard yet their words still rang with a jovial lilt that resonated deep within her.
"Ojii-san?" Reina's chest tightened, was she dead or was this just part of a cruel genjutsu. "Ojii-san is that you?"
"Open your eyes and find out. You're never going to get anywhere with your eyes closed" Reina expected her eyes to battle against her, to remain tightly shut in rebellion. But they didn't. Reina's eyes fluttered open with ease, she expected to be blinded by light yet all around her darkness lurked.
Hidekazu smiled warmly at his granddaughter. She wasn't the excitable little child that she once was; now she was a woman and head of the clan no doubt. Hidekazu didn't get the chance to utter another word, Reina leapt into his arms, her own roped around his neck tightly. Reina broke down instantly, her entire body reverberating with muffled sobs.
"O-Ojii-san." Hidekazu's own golden orbs stung behind his glasses; he returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around her shaking form. He smiled sadly, burying his face in her mahogany locks. Even though she was the leader of the clan, she was still his baby girl.
"Oh my Reina-chan," Hidekazu murmured quietly, unconsciously swaying her where he stood. "You haven't grown a bit, you're still as short as ever." Reina couldn't help the choked laugh that escaped her lips; he hadn't changed at all. Death certainly hadn't dulled his sense of humour.
"Well, you know what they say. Poison comes in small vials and shit comes in big heaps." Reina replied, leaning away to drink in her grandfather properly. A deep bellow erupted from Hidekazu's lips, the sound echoing in the shadowy cavern.
"Oh my little rabbit, you haven't changed a bit." Hidekazu chortled, his eyes bright with happiness.
"Ojii-sa…Wait, what did you call me?" Reina questioned, her brows knitting together in confusion. Hidekazu made no attempt to correct himself or to backtrack from his words. Instead the grey haired male simply smiled, the lines of his mouth making it crystal clear. "You knew, didn't you? About Tsukuyomi being my grandfather."
"Only towards the end. He didn't want anything to happen to you so…"
"So what? What did he do? Ojii-san tell me what he did." Reina pleaded, the desperation in her voice made Hidekazu's bones shiver. None of this was meant to happen. Sighing softly Hidekazu tucked a stray hair behind Reina's ear.
"He sealed away your godhood. He deemed it better - and safer - that you remained a normal human for as long as possible. But when you entered the indenture with Itachi, the imbalance of chakra must have disarmed the seal."
Reina's head spun. All this time. He knew. Her own grandfather, whom she adored and idolised, took part of her history to the grave with him. Her eyes began to sting once again, they already red and puffy from her previous tears.
"Why didn't you say something - anything?" Reina began before her eyes widened. "Does Baa-chan know?" Reina clung to the anticipation of his next words, her lower lip trembling. Hidekazu shook his head, a woeful twist of a smile gracing his lips.
"No, your Grandmother had enough to deal with without that information terrifying her. She had lost her daughter, her step son and her husband all in such a short time frame. You were what she clung to. I couldn't have her wrapping you up in even more cotton wool than what she already had."
Although his words made perfect sense Reina wanted to scream and vent her anger at her grandfather. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do anything more than nod and acknowledge his words. It wasn't fair. She was so exhausted of people moving her like a chess piece against her will. She was her own person, one capable of making decisions and more than capable of making mistakes. She simply wanted the chance to fix them of her own accord. Not someone else's.
"Reina-chan, gomenasai. I never meant for any of this to happen to you. I never ever wanted you to endure so much heartache. You had already lost so much." Hidekazu held onto her shoulders, unsure as to whether she would fall or lash out. Reina shook her head.
"It's ok Ojii-san, I understand. It's just that now," Reina sighed, averting her eyes from her grandfather's, it had been so long since she had seen eyes that mirrored her own. "Now I need to find what was stolen from me. Do you understand that?"
Hidekazu nodded and swallowed, momentarily adjusting her yukata before fixing his own. "I know. That's why I'm here."
"You are?" Reina quirked a brow. Hidekazu nodded.
"I'm your spirit guide."
"My spirit guide?" Reina deadpanned. Hidekazu chuckled and nodded, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"After all you've seen and been through, you comment on the fact I'm your spirit guide? Reina-chan I'm hurt." Hidekazu lowered a hand over his heart in false mockery, his jaw slack for added effect. Reina rolled her eyes and scoffed, twisting her hair into a low chignon, a tell-tale sign that she meant business.
"Where do we start?"
Hidekazu's face hardened, he knew what horrors were to come next. The pain. The heartache. A part of him wanted to turn her around and send her on her way without the memories. In his eyes it was the kinder of the two options. All's Reina had to do was look into his eyes, eyes that were exactly like hers, to know that her grandfather didn't want her to proceed. She had to. She had come so far that to back down now would break her, more than he could possibly imagine. Fire burned in her stomach, a mixture of unbridled determination alongside the incessant urge to vomit.
"We start where most stories do, at the beginning. I'm not going to lie to you Reina, what you see, smell and feel will not be pleasant. The ache in your bones will grow at a tremendous pace to the point you would rather beg for death than continue. But you must. Once you begin you cannot go back, you must push forward until the cycle reaches full circle – do you understand?" Hidekazu spoke with a severity that reminded Reina why he was such a formidable clan leader; it was something she needed to learn should she come out the other side in one piece. "My little rabbit, whatever you see, you need to know that you are loved by so many and have so much to live for. I need you to understand that before you begin."
Reina nodded despite her knuckles white and her heart cantering away with itself. They were her memories, no one else's. Whatever demons lay ahead of her were exactly that, her demons. Should the nastiest filth arise from the depths of her consciousness she would face them head on, like she had the first time. Although the fate of the world did not hang in balance this would not deter her from fighting with a ferocity reserved solely for the battlefield. She would come out the other side in one piece with her memories intact.
She was Reina Hitori and she would not be afraid.
"Let's begin."
"Why did you let me die, child? I did not deserve such a fate. I was innocent. I was your mentor, your friend. Why did you let them kill me?" Reina knew the voice and the words although not his, made sure that they would not be forgotten again. "You are a murderer. You let them torture me. You let them carve out my innards until I was nothing more than an empty shell. I was innocent, I was your friend." Reina did not let the tears that threatened to fall spill over her lashes. She was not responsible for the death of an innocent. She had no blood on her hands. Or so she kept telling herself.
Masao's voice echoed in the darkness, forever gentle despite the conjured malice that currently laced it. Reina knew he did not blame her; even in his final moments she felt no resentment from the elderly priest. He had passed on to Yomi knowing that Reina would have defended him until she drew her last breath. She almost had. Silence befell the blackness. Reina kept her breaths short and quiet, inhaling through her nostrils as she listened.
Drip.
She listened harder, narrowing her eyes to pinpoint where the noise originated. It was no use. One single sound reverberated into many. The sound quickened, like the backbone beat of a piece of music.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Reina stood with her guard up, her knees immediately aching from the pressure entrusted upon them. Her stance was wide but balanced, exactly how her grandfather had taught her. When the next drip didn't occur a chill ran down the length of her spine. There was a reason the sound did not echo on the water laced floor – whatever was dripping had landed on her hand.
Blood. Dark red blood. And, it was warm.
Reina jumped backwards her eyes widening when she beheld what had fell from the shadows. Masao's body, it suspended in mid-air. Then she saw it, the faintest shimmer of iridescent thread that glimmered tauntingly from Masao's limp limbs. Despite the warm blood that was now smeared on the back of her hand Reina knew Masao was already dead. Sasori had made sure of that. He was the reason Masao was dead. Not her. But it did not stop her heart from aching at the sight of a once great man battered and broken.
Reina warily edged closer to Masao's limp corpse, his skin already dry and grainy thanks to Sasori's handiwork. She wanted to cut him down, give him the dignified send-off that he deserved and was deprived of. His cheeks were bloated, his lips verging on white; Masao was more corpse than work of art as Sasori perceived him to be. Yet something did not sit right with her. Inspecting closer Reina frowned as an almost silent hissing sound caught her attention. She scanned over Masao's body, her eyes widening when she realised what was happening.
Masao's body was inflating. He was going to explode. He was a bomb.
Reina didn't have time to react, even if she did she couldn't escape the blast. In the blink of an eyes Masao's corpse exploded, yet instead of blood and innards, venomous senbon flew in every possible direction. Reina cried out in pain, numerous senbon now imbedded in her body; bright crimson began to soak through her brilliant white kimono, the colour eating away at the unadorned silk ravenously. She couldn't move or call for help as no one would come. Not even her grandfather.
All's Reina could do was lie there, paralysed. Silent tears spilled from her eyes, they sliding down her own porcelain skin. She was so cold. Despite the darkness and lack of sky rain fell down upon her, soaking her through to the bone. Her grandfather was right. Her bones ached alongside her heart; how long had she lain there before someone found her? She didn't know.
You're worthless.
You couldn't even complete a simple retrieval mission without messing it up somehow.
You've brought shame upon your clan and village.
You're just another waste of space.
The words that echoed in the shadows were not that of villagers or even her uncle. They were her words. Her fears and shame. A part of her knew she was right. She couldn't, she didn't complete the retrieval mission. She had failed. She didn't deserve to be clan leader. She didn't even deserve to be a shinobi.
Reina bit her lip and squeezed her eyes tight shut as she screamed. She sounded like a bewitched demon, the way the screech bounced off the imaginary walls of her mind. She wanted to curl up into a ball, to disappear and let the darkness consume her. But she couldn't. All's she could do was lie there, a prisoner of her own creation.
When the sound of footsteps entered her ears Reina had lost track of how long she had been lying on the cold, wet ground. The steps were light, barely noticeable had it not been for the water that ladened the ground. The sploshes grew louder but did not grow heavier. Reina had an inkling who was approaching when the world around her began to bleed a glorious shade of vermillion.
Itachi.
"Reina-chan."
"Itachi."
The elder Uchiha nodded, his face partially covered by the high collar of his Akatsuki cloak. But his eyes. Oh how his eyes entranced her. The alluring glow of rubicund lulled her from her panicked state; her limbs no longer lead like or cold. Instead her body felt light, replenished. Wordlessly Itachi held out his hand, his silver Akatsuki ring glimmering in the dark like a beacon in the sea.
"I can't move. I've tried. I can't…I can't go on." Reina pleaded, her heart twisting tightly in her chest. She didn't want to admit she was afraid. But the unknown was enough to scare anyone.
"Yes you can. You've done this before. Now move Reina-chan." Itachi's words although firm were not harsh. He was merely stating what she was afraid of. What she secretly did not want to admit. She was afraid of repeating everything. She was afraid of losing him all over again.
"Come on kid, you're made of tougher stuff than this." Another voice called out from the murkiness. Reina strained her eyes in search of the mystery voice, her lips parting when they landed on the owner of the voice. Kisame Hoshigake. "You're Reina Hitori. You're practically infamous now. You have a reputation to uphold." Kisame grinned, his jagged teeth glinting menacingly; a shudder of warmth pooled in her stomach. He was…encouraging her.
"Kisame is right Reina-chan. You're more than capable of getting through this. Now stand up." Itachi's command was firmer this time, but it was firm because of his reassurance of her. She would stand again, like she had many a time before. She was going to get through this. So she stood, and although she took his hand he did not pull her up. She pulled herself up.
Because she was Reina Hitori and she would not be afraid.
Reina ran through the rest of her stolen memories like a flame engulfing a forest. She gorged herself on every last little drop until her gullet burned threateningly. She was sick of the tang of copper in her mouth and the tinge of iron that laced her nostrils. So much blood. She should never want to see the colour red again if it didn't remind her of what she had gained from it all.
Alongside the abilities of the Uchiha Reina had also gained herself an actual Uchiha. One that was loyal and kind and so unlike how the world had painted him. Although her newly reclaimed memories overwhelmed her, they also made her more determined not to lose what she had gained. She would protect him as he protected her and so many others in his lifetime.
She just had to make it through the rest of the cycle.
Reina braced her elbows on her knees as she attempted to steady her breathing. The floor seemed to sway beneath her bare feet and her stomach continued to threaten to spill its contents everywhere. She was so close. So close to coming full circle and completing the transition with her memories intact.
"How are you feeling so far?" Her grandfather asked, appearing from within her shadowy confinements. He was not permitted to ride along on the journey with her, only to guide her in the in between as he called it.
"Do you want my honest answer Ojii-san?" Reina huffed as she held back another wave of nausea that racked her weathered form. Hidekazu stood behind his granddaughter, rubbing her back reassuringly. "Ojii-san, I never got to thank you."
"What for?" The elder Hitori male questioned whilst he braided her hair casually. Reina inhaled deeply standing to her full height and looked her grandfather in the eye.
"For teaching me everything I know. For watching over me all these years. And," She hesitated, chewing on the inside of her lower lip momentarily. "For coming to Itachi's aid in Yomi, I gather Tsukuyomi had something to do with it, but you delivered the tonic to him. So thank you." Reina bowed lowly, lower than she ever had. She respected her grandfather, it was because of him she had turned out the way she had.
"Oh my child." Hidekazu yanked Reina into his arms without warning, tears prickling at his eyes. Reina smiled bashfully, wrapping her arms around him in return. "I love you more than anything. You are my greatest accomplishment in life and I am so so proud."
"I love you too Ojii-san. I've missed you so much." Reina's voice cracked, her chest tightening as she attempted to hold back her tears. There had been so many times in the past that she wished for her grandfather to appear, to take her in his arms and just hold her. He made the world a better place. He made her better. Hidekazu held Reina at arm's length once again, taking her in as if he were attempting to commit her features to memory. Like he would never see her again…
"You're leaving me now aren't you? For good." Reina stated sensing his apprehension; Hidekazu, his golden orbs glossy, nodded, adjusting his glasses to wipe his eyes.
"Yes, this is where we part ways, for the last time I'm afraid."
"Will you say hello to Okaa-san and Otou-san for me? Tell them I love them?" Reina pleaded, she didn't want him to go. She had only just gotten him back.
"Why don't you tell them yourself?"
