Chapter 53

Leo hadn't made any fuss about going to bed. Harry brushed his teeth for him, despite Leo still being half asleep and even changed him into his pyjamas without fully waking him. There had been one change though. He'd wanted Nikki to say good night to him. She sat on the bed and held his hand.

"I hope you had a good Christmas. You can tell me all about it tomorrow."

Leo nodded sleepily.

"I'm glad you're back." Nikki said and bent down and kissed his forehead. She was half waiting for the screams to begin especially after Harry's comment about Leo's regression, but Leo just closed his eyes and snuggled further under the covers.

"You alright?" Harry asked, as she sat at the kitchen table. Harry had already put the kettle on.

It was just another evening in Nikki's kitchen, sharing a drink and a catch up together. But both were aware that this evening was different to all the previous ones. She wasn't quite sure what to say.

"I'm glad you came back."

"How could I stay away?" Harry asked. Pulled her to her feet and swept her into his arms, burying his face in her shoulder for the second time that evening. Nikki could feel his heart pounding, but then it could have easily been her own.

She stroked the hair at the back of his head. "Sh," she soothed. "It's going to be alright." Harry clung on for a few more minutes.

"I've got so much I want to say… So much to explain." He pulled away from her slightly, stroked her cheek with his hand and smoothed her hair. He shifted his weight and tried to look serious. "Nikki, so much has happened, but the most important thing is you." He swallowed and thought back through the words he'd prepared on the plane. He reached out and took her hand.

"Nikki, I came back with nothing and you took us in. I was angry and unkind and you put up with me. I was silent and stand offish and you stood by me. You saw Leo at his worst and it didn't faze you. You and Leo are the best things in my life and I…" He drew in a breath, his eyes hadn't left hers for a second.

"Harry it's ok. I understand."

"It has to be said Nikki. Please let me do this." He rubbed his thumb over her hand.

"I don't know why it's different with you, but it is. You, me and Leo. It's what I want. Is it really what you want?"

Nikki exhaled and nodded and looked at the man in front of her. Same trendy glasses and salt and pepper hair. Same scar on his forehead and eyebrow, same green eyes, but the defeated look had been replaced with hope dashed with a little fear. His gaze had rediscovered its old intensity and that spark and undercurrent of attraction that had been missing all those last months was back. She felt that old familiar flip flop in her belly and stepped towards him. It was as if now his presence filled up more space than his actual being and she found herself drawn in, engulfed by the aura of need and respect and love and desire. It was intoxicating. She'd never seen Harry quite like this but as powerful and dangerous as it was she wasn't backing away. Her Harry was back.

"It's what I want," she confessed. "I want you."

She heard her voice shake, not because what she was saying was untrue, just the opposite. Previously they had used jokes and banter, more recently they had managed to live together without actually saying anything at all. But these words for her were true and real and honest. Those moments of honesty between them were as rare and precious as jewels. It was exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure.

"But the other men… the unsuitables…"

"I could ask you the same!" she retorted.

"Nikki, please. I've never been more serious about anything before."

"They were only there because I couldn't have what I really wanted." She said softly.

"Oh Nikki, I'm sorry."

"No more apologies, no more regrets." She said placing a finger on his lips. "It was all for the best. Otherwise I'd never have you now and I wouldn't have Leo." Harry kissed the finger against his lips and pulled it gently away.

"I'm in love with you." Harry stated, looking deep into her eyes.

"I…" Nikki stuttered, "I thought you needed time, I…"

"Nikki we've been living together for six months and we've been in love for over a decade. I think that's probably a long enough preamble."

Nikki nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think you're probably right."

"Probably?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

Nikki chuckled, that deep throated laugh that had always played havoc with Harry's hormones.

"A lots changed, Nikki. I've changed. Someone once said, 'love isn't finding someone you can live with, it's finding someone you can't live without.' I can't live without you Nikki. I can't. We can't. Have us back? Please?"

She nodded and kissed him.

"Those Christmas kisses –"Harry started.

"Yes?"

"You know why?"

Nikki shook her head.

"Because once a year I could will myself to believe that there could be a happy ever after for me, some Christmas magic that I could catch and make reality go away for once. It was only then that I could believe that someone like you would be interested in someone like me."

"We needed Leo." Nikki confirmed.

"You should have heard his Christmas wish," muttered Harry referring to a different Leo.

"I thought wishes had to be secret to come true?"

"He was taken to see Father Christmas, he had to tell him his Christmas wish."

"Did he?"

"No! We never even made it through the door." Harry chuckled.

"What did he ask for?"

"His Daddy to be happy."

"And…" Nikki prompted, aware there was more to come.

"A new Mummy." Harry declared no longer misinterpreting Leo's signing. Nikki caught her breath and found her eyes filling with tears almost before she realised it.

"I love you Nikki. Leo loves you. Let's all be together?"

"So you believe in Christmas wishes now?" she asked with a sniff, trying to make a joke to help compose herself.

"I believe in you." Harry said simply.

"I love you too Harry." They kissed again, gently and with less urgency than earlier. There was no hurry now. There never would be.

"And I love Leo more than you can imagine. You, me and Leo it's all I've ever wanted. And you brought him back to me."

"It wasn't me. That boy was lost, we were both lost. You brought us back. You're the only one who could have done that."

The lost child. Could she finally rest now, she wondered? Was that quest over? Is this what it had all been about? Finding a family to replace all that she had been denied as a child. If it was. It was probably worth it. She leant forward again, her eyes drawn to his lips and gave herself up to the feeling of Harry holding her tight. She rested her forehead against his. The way his hands were moving clearly indicated what he wanted but she could still sense him holding back.

"Harry?" she whispered.

"Is this as big for you as it is for me?" Harry half croaked, half groaned. She could feel his hands shaking as he worked on the buttons of her blouse.

She was tempted to make some joke in response, but their time for jokes and innuendo had passed.

"You're serious about us?" Harry asked. His lips now followed the path his hands had just taken, and Nikki felt herself tighten her hold on him as her legs began to buckle.

"Make love to me Harry," she invited.

And with that there was no need for any more words. The dam that had been holding back all of Harry's passion and love and desire for all those years finally gave way and out poured a torrent of kisses and caresses so gentle and yet so fierce, Nikki couldn't help but cry out his name.

"Sh! Don't wake Leo. You'll have to be quiet." Harry insisted.

Nikki giggled and reached back up to kiss him. She'd thought those Christmas kisses had been pretty passionate but she'd never been kissed by Harry like this. She'd never kissed by anyone like this.

She had a fleeting sensation of being watched as she'd had once before when kissing a man in her kitchen just after Harry and Leo had arrived. She opened her eyes and saw Leo watching them from the doorway. He gave her the thumbs up sign, put his finger to his smiling lips, turned and tiptoed back to his bed.


I shall leave you and your wonderful imaginations for the next bit. Writing arguments is SO much easier.