A/N: So here we are guys, finally. After all the nice messages you posted to wish me to get well soon, I took a double dose of my medicine and manage to put this chapter together. I hope it will be worth the wait.
As soon as Amy left our shared room, I rushed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Then I put on my pajamas, cleaned my teeth and got ready to go to sleep. For the whole time, I tried my best not to think about her, and I succeeded...at first. But when I returned to the empty bedroom and sat on my side of the empty bed, I was surrounded by her scent, her clothes, her bags… it was impossible for me to put her to the back of my mind. All I could think of was her last words before leaving the room, "Come only if you feel like it, really." And if I had to be truly honest with myself, I could not deny the fact that I actually did feel like joining Amy. Oh boy, did I feel like it at that moment! Though, as a last attempt to resist that urge, I switched on the television. But after staring blankly at the screen for a few minutes, I had to face the facts: it was pointless holding out any longer, as all I could think of was how much I wished she were with me at that moment, or I with her. So I put my robe on, crossed the hall and knocked boldly three times on the bathroom door. I opened the door at her invitation and there, in front of me, was a grinning Amy, surrounded by bubbles, in the Jacuzzi, at the center of the room. She greeted me but her voice was muffled by the combined noise coming from both the jet engines and the bubbling water. Hesitantly, I walked towards the tub feeling very self-conscious and unsure of myself. Sensing my discomfort, she thoughtfully closed her eyes so that I could undress and get into the tub without feeling shy.
Feeling encouraged, I pulled myself together and took off my robe and my pajamas, folding it carefully and leaving it on a chair by the tub. Once in my underpants, I entered the tub and sat down quickly as far as I could from Amy. She was sitting across from me, at least seven feet away. From where I was, all I could see was her face as the rest of her body was totally immersed in the water and hidden by the bubbles. She was definitely far more relaxed than I was and obviously enjoying it as her eyes were still closed and she was smiling lightly. Copying her, I closed my eyes and tried to focus only on the soothing effect of the hot water on my body, rather than about germs or my half-naked girlfriend just a few feet away. And surprisingly I slowly began to relax.
"So how is it? Do you feel more relaxed now?" After at least fifteen minutes, her voice startled me. She had just switched off the jets, obviously willing to start chatting.
I opened my eyes slowly, and gazed at her. The now still water allowed me to make out Amy's body shape and discover that she was wearing a black one piece swimsuit. Her eyes were open now and she was looking straight at me, smiling slightly. I smiled back and replied, "I have to admit Amy it is indeed quite enjoyable being here, both for the sensation coming from the hot tub and the company". I meant it, it was an enjoyable experience.
"I am glad you like it Sheldon. And I'm glad you came." She said in a sweet voice. We both stared at each other for a moment.
I could see in her eyes that she was on the verge of moving closer to me, and just as she got up, suddenly the door opened. She sat back and we both looked towards the door. There, stood a quite surprised Brian. He smiled, obviously quite embarrassed and said, "Oops, guys, it looks like we all had the same idea!" He stood still with hesitation, contemplating whether he should leave, or stay. Then he turned towards us and asked "Do you mind if I use the Jacuzzi as well? I have been thinking about it for the whole day after Kate mentioned it. But I don't want to upset you; I can leave if you want me to since you guys were here first."
I was in shock. What the hell was he doing here? It had already been very difficult for me to make up my mind and share the tub with Amy, my girlfriend. I looked at Amy and I knew she could read in my eyes my fear and how much I wanted to tell him to go away. She clearly did not know what to do. Then, whilst still staring at me, she replied, "Of course Brian, you can come in as there is enough room for the three of us in here. We won't stay long anyway", though I could tell by the tone of her voice that she did not really mean it. Brian did not seem to understand though and started removing his robe and walked towards the shower. His body was tanned and brawny which made me feel even more self conscious. How could I even compete with him? He got in the shower and closed the door behind him.
Amy looked at me and whispered, "What did you want me to say Sheldon? I could not be rude to a colleague". Feeling rather annoyed, I stood up and was ready to get out. Amy pleaded, "No Sheldon, please don't leave, it was so nice being here with you."
I looked at her and it was difficult to say no to those eyes, "But Amy… the germs… with you, it was not the same, but him… well at least he is having a shower before getting in…" I said, nodding at him.
"Exactly. Come on Sheldon, don't leave me here by myself, with Brian. We won't stay long, I promise." She pleaded.
Then it was like it as if something had been triggered in me; I could not leave my girlfriend alone with another man, especially a man that had tried to steal her from me a few weeks ago. "Alright, I'll stay." And then I moved slowly towards Amy and sat next to her.
She smiled shyly and said, "Thank you Sheldon" and kissed me on the cheek.
When Brian came back and climbed inside the tub, Amy turned on the tap for more hot water and also turned the jets back on. Then she closed her eyes and resumed enjoying the relaxing effect of the hot bubbles. Before settling, I looked at Brian and held his gaze for a moment. Brian looked at us, frowned and then focused his gaze on the jet next to where he chose to sit, exactly where I was minutes ago. At that moment, I was glad that the noise prevented us from talking because I was not in a mood to chit chat with him, pretending to be okay with him being here. Because at that moment, I was not, I could not help it, and I felt like I had to show that Amy was mine. So I slid a little closer to her and put my arm around her shoulders. The sudden contact of my skin against hers made Amy shiver a little and she opened her eyes to look at me, obviously surprised to see me that close and even touching her. I suddenly became very aware of how undressed we both were but it was too late: backing out could send an unwanted signal towards Brian and at the same time hurt Amy. But I was really struggling: all I could think of was removing my arm from Amy's shoulders and going away as far as possible from that tub and that room. But I promised Amy I would work on my phobias, and I had to at least try. And above all I could not make way for Brian or at least make him believe there was trouble in Paradise between Amy and I. So I held on. As if sensing my hesitation, Amy remained still and glanced at me, probably waiting to see what I would do next. But I turned towards her and smiled lightly, trying to look relaxed, and then closed my eyes in an attempt to enjoy the bubbles like before Brian arrived. I felt her relax and snuggle up to me, putting her head on my shoulder. Then she whispered, "Thanks for trying so hard for me, Sheldon. I know it is not easy for you, but thanks for doing it for me. It means a lot. Though, if you feel too uncomfortable, I would not be mad at you if you wanted to go back to the room now." I breathed in and thought about it for a moment. I knew it was not a test from her, I knew she was sincere. So I decided to stay. Slowly, I told her, "Let's stay just a little longer." Within a few minutes, I began to really relax and felt more comfortable with the whole situation. It was not even about Brian anymore. It did feel good being so close to her. The only thing that bothered me was all the germs, his germs. After around fifteen minutes and two rounds of jets, I turned towards her and asked her, "Amy, can we go back to the room now?" She opened her eyes and looked at me with a shy smile. She moved a little, freeing my shoulder and put a hand on my chin, stroking my cheek with her thumb "Sure, let's go." She stood up and turned towards the edge of the Jacuzzi. The black one piece swimsuit she was wearing looked really good on her. I looked towards Brian: he was smiling and his gaze was on my girlfriend's body.
"Amy, wait, let me grab your robe for you" I said while frowning at Brian. I got up and rushed out of the tub. I quickly slid her robe on her in a way that did not expose her body too much, at least not for him to see. Then I grabbed mine, put it on and took my pajamas in my hands. Brian then leant to switch the jets off.
"Goodnight Brian. See you tomorrow for breakfast." Amy said, heading towards the door, her hand on the doorknob.
Brian replied back, "Oh Amy, you should read your emails, we got replies from Sawyer, Di Matteo, Garcia and Huber. They have agreed to change the dates. We will have to talk about it tomorrow just to check with Kate, but I think we are heading South on Monday."
Amy looked disappointed and replied, "Oh. Alright." Then looking at me she said, "Let's go now." She then turned towards Brian and said, "Night Brian."
I muttered "Goodnight" but did not look at him. Instead I grabbed Amy's hand and led her to the hallway.
"Goodnight you two" he replied then switched the jets on again.
Once we got back to our room, Amy let me use the bathroom first. When I got out a few minutes later, I felt much better, and clean. As I entered the bedroom, Amy was sitting on the bed, with her computer on her lap. She was frowning.
"Amy, is everything okay?" I asked, a bit intrigued.
"Oh yes, I was just checking my emails and as Brian said, I will probably be travelling to the South next week. We will probably leave on Monday and come back on Friday again. It will be another long week away." She switched off her computer and closed it. Then she walked towards the bathroom and asked, "Are you done with the bathroom?"
"Yes, you can go" I said, while switching on the tv and sitting on the bed.
She came back into the room half an hour later, slid under the sheets and sat up straight on the bed, starting to read her copy of Neuron. There was not much on tv and after the rerun of Arrow ended, I switched it off and got ready to sleep, lying on my side, looking at her in silence. She was so focused on her magazine, frowning and living each line. After a few minutes, she turned her head and looked at me "What?"
"Mmmm… nothing. I am just looking at you. What is that article about?"
"Oh, that's about a research on stem cells. That is fascinating." And she began explaining the whole article to me. I had never had any interest in biology, but that was before meeting Amy. Now I liked listening to her about her own research work, or the articles she read. She is always so passionate about it, as much as I am about String theory. When she was done reading, she switched off the light by her bedside and turned on her side, facing me, in the now dark room.
"Sheldon, thanks for coming with me to the Jacuzzi tonight. It means a lot to me. And I hope that you did enjoy it, at least a little. I am so sorry that Brian got in there with us."
"To be honest, even though him being there made it more difficult for me, I do not regret it." I ended my sentence almost in a whisper. It's impressive how being in the dark like that can lead to confessions.
"What do you mean?" Even though I could not see her face, I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was puzzled.
"I did not enjoy him being there with us per se of course. What I mean is that if he had not come in there, I would probably not have gotten that close to you in the tub. Not willingly. But in the end I liked it." I was glad we were in the dark as I began to blush while saying that.
After a moment, Amy added, "I enjoyed it too Sheldon." She moved closer and placed her hand on mine, playing with my fingers and tracing my palm with her thumb.
"You know Amy, sometimes I hate the way I feel and the way I am scared before trying new things, before touching you, before getting closer to you. But I can't help it, and I know you, more than anyone as a neurobiologist, can understand what I mean. I thank you for being so patient with me Amy Farrah Fowler." I intertwine her fingers with mine, squeezing tight. Feeling the atmosphere in the room getting heavy, I change topics. After clearing my throat I asked,"So you are really going away for the whole week next week? Where exactly are you going?"
"I may leave on Monday afternoon and will probably stay for a couple of nights in Atlanta, then Houston for a couple of nights as well, and then we'll be in Austin on Friday and I should come back in the evening. We were supposed to go the following week, but in the end some candidates preferred this week, so we checked what we could do for it, and it appears it is best for everyone."
I thought for a moment then said, "I cannot go away this week, it will be a busy week for me at work, but what if I flew to Texas on Friday evening? I could meet you there and we could spend the weekend at my mother's again? You could even stay there when you are in Houston during the week… what do you think about it? You could even stay at Meemaw's, she'd love it! And you could check if she is as well as she sounds on the phone."
She kept on playing with my hand, a bit more slowly though. "I think I love this idea. I mean you coming for the weekend. About me staying at your mother's or your Meemaw's…I don't know, do you think they would be okay with me staying there without you?"
"Dr Fowler, you are one of the most intelligent people of our generation, and yet sometimes you say very stupid things." I sighed, "Of course my mother and my Meemaw will welcome you, even if I am not there. They both like you very much. They will be thrilled to see you, even if it is only in the evenings. I will call them tomorrow and ask them, but I have no doubt they will say yes."
"Thank you Sheldon. I was not happy about going away for a whole week again, but now I am really looking forward to it, I like your family. And now knowing that you will also come at the end of the week…thanks. Now let's go to sleep, I still have a long day of work tomorrow. Sweet dreams Sheldon."
"Good night Amy" I replied slowly, keeping her hand in mine.
The next morning, I woke up quite early. Amy was still sound asleep next to me. She had her arm around my waist. I delicately slid out of bed and went into the bathroom and then the dressing room. Amy was still asleep when I came back, but now she had her head under a pillow and was turned with her back to my side. I wrote a message for her on a paper, left it on my pillow and then left the room. I wanted to call my mother before she left for church so I went to the office and tried calling her. As I had thought, my mother was glad to welcome Amy next week. I told her she would probably only be there in the evenings and mornings, but my mother sounded very enthusiastic to see her, and then me for the weekend.
When I came back moments later, Amy was no longer in bed but I could hear the water running in the bathroom. I sat on the chair and grabbed my computer to check my emails. When she got out of the bathroom, she was a little mad at me for not waking her up earlier. After sulking a little, which does not happen very often, but from time to time in the morning, as I had learnt from the few times we had woken up together, all I had to do was keep quiet and let her calm down by herself. She calmed down while packing and came back from the dressing room in a much better mood.
"So Sheldon what are you going to do this morning? More work?"
"Well, not exactly. Actually, I promised Dylan I would keep helping him with his Death Star. And he has questions he would like to ask me on Electromagnetism, Quantum physics and of course String theory. So I guess I will spend the morning with him in my office." I looked at her and she smiled. I went on, "Well, that is if he is allowed to. He told me he is supposed to go to church with his brothers and the nanny this morning. He asked me to talk to his mother so that he can stay. Do you think Kate would allow him to spend the morning with me instead of going to church? I told him my mother would have never allowed me to skip church, but I promised him I'd try to ask, so…"
"That's nice of you to want to help him, Sheldon." She said as she sat in front of me on the edge of the bed.
"Well, usually I don't like children. But somehow it is different with Dylan, there is something special with that child. It's as if… I don't know… I could see the young me in him, if that makes any sense?"
"It does Sheldon. It shows when you are together. There is like a connection. You act differently with him. And he seems to appreciate and worship you a lot."
"Well, that's it, there is like a connection. It is not only the fact that he is a child prodigy like I was or because we both like Lego, Star Wars, Star Trek, Physics or other things….there is something more,. I have the feeling I can understand him deeply… you know, I have the feeling I can understand the way Dylan thinks as a child prodigy, and all his doubts, because I felt the same years ago. It's a bit like he has a super power and doesn't know how to use it. I think I can help him." I could see in her eyes that she understood what I meant. "Up to the moment I met you Amy, no one understood me. There was no one in my environment to whom I could relate to. I had Meemaw and Mom who gave me love, but there was no one like me on the intellectual level. Then I met you. But I was already an adult, and the two of us built a relationship as adults do. What strikes me with Dylan is how lonely he seems to be, both intellectually and emotionally. Even more than I was, because he does not have his Meemaw anymore."
Amy closed the space between us and put her hand in my hair, stroking it softly. "Sheldon, I have to confess something to you: I knew about Dylan. I mean, I knew Kate had a son that was different, and I found out that there were many common points between the two of you even before we came here." She went on, "I promise, I did not want to trick you by bringing you here, I just wanted you to have a chance to meet him and see for yourself if what appeared to be troubling coincidences would turn into something else...that connection you feel. I hope you are not mad at me for provoking the meeting without telling you. I meant to tell you at some point."
I kept silent for a moment, thinking about what she had said and then resumed talking, "I am not mad at you Amy. You were right, I would have never accepted to meet him if you had told me beforehand. But please don't do that too often." I placed my hand on hers and led it to my mouth so I could kiss her palm. Then she placed it back on her knee.
"I won't, I promise. That case was special." She smiled and went on, "Kate is very worried about Dylan. You know more than anyone that it is not easy having or being a child as intelligent as Dylan or as you. So she asked me to talk to you and ask you for your help. You would not have to do much, just spend some time with Dylan, like you will be doing this morning. And it does not have to be very often. You can also correspond with him through emails or skype if it is easier for you."
"So I would be like the Jedi knight and he would be my Padawan?" I smiled.
"Yes, I think so… I'm not sure what it means. Is it from Star Trek?"
I sighed, "Star Wars, Amy!"
"Yeah, whatever…"
I rolled my eyes then went on, "But seriously Amy, about helping Dylan… I can't promise anything, it is great responsibility and you know I don't have much time, but I will think about it."
"Thanks Sheldon. And to answer your initial question: yes, I think Kate will agree for you to spend the morning with Dylan and for him to skip church." She grinned.
"Can you ask her for me?" I asked shyly.
"Sure."
"Okay. Thanks." And I smiled at her before heading to the dressing room to finish packing.
"Sheldon, could you use your phone to find the directions, please? For some reason my GPS does not seem to be working anymore…" she said as she threw the GPS on the backseat. I was going to reply but I had to do something first. "SHELDON!" I finally lifted my head when Amy yelled at me. She had been in a bad mood ever since we left Kate's place an hour ago, and had dismissed all of my attempts at playing games together or just talking. So I had decided I would simply keep quiet and wait for her to calm down. Then the GPS decided to stop working, which did not help.
"Mmm wait a second Amy, I have to finish this and…" I said as I was on my phone.
She interrupted me, "Yeah, never mind, I'll do it myself. I would not want to bother you whilst you are in the middle of an important game or while you are updating your facebook status!" She sighed and grabbed her phone from her pocket, typing on it with one hand. Even I picked up the sarcasm in the tone of her voice, it was pretty obvious.
I was stunned. It was really not like her to be as aggressive as she had been with me almost all day; I was at a loss. What was going on? I replied "I'll do it Amy, calm down. And for your information, I was not playing or on any social network, I was replying to my mother who asked if you knew when you'll arrive at her house. I told her to text you directly, as you have not given me any information so far. Actually, you have barely spoken to me since breakfast. It is not only because of the GPS or because I did not wake you up earlier this morning. What is going on?"
"Nothing is going on Sheldon. Except that I am tired. I had a tough week and had to work again this weekend, and tomorrow I have to go away for another week to interview more people. And right now we are stuck in traffic and it will take us two hours to get back home. That's what's going on!" She spoke as if she was on the verge of crying so I stopped talking. From that moment on, there was an uncomfortable silence in the car.
We arrived in front of my apartment building an hour or so later. I did not understand: we had agreed before leaving on Friday that we would both sleep at my place tonight, and now for some reason, she kept the engine running and waited for me to leave the car; she obviously had no intention to stay the night.
"Amy, I don't understand, aren't you coming in? We are supposed to sleep here tonight, don't you remember?"
"Yes I remember Sheldon, but I feel like sleeping in my bed tonight. I will be travelling a lot next week so I'd like to spend the night at my own place tonight" she replied, sounding exhausted and irritated.
"Alright, so let's go back to your place. I have packed spare clothes anyway, so I'm ready to go" I said.
"Actually Sheldon, if you don't mind, I would like to sleep alone tonight" she replied whilst looking down, as if she were avoiding my eyes.
I looked at her, stunned. "What is going on Amy? What have I done?" She did not answer. "Talk to me, Amy! Tell me what is really going on. I don't understand…"
Finally, she turned to me and simply said "I told you Sheldon, nothing is going on. I just want to go back to my routine for one night. I need to be alone. It has nothing to do with you, it's just me. Please understand."
I thought for a second then said, "I understand, it is crystal clear. Goodnight Amy." Then I opened the door, got out, grabbed my bag from the trunk and left without even looking at her, as I was pretty pissed off. I was feeling rejected; not only was she refusing to spend the night with me but she refused to open up to me. As I walked up to my apartment, I could not help but wonder whether I had done something wrong for her to be in that mood, but I really could not remember doing anything wrong. Actually, all things considered, she had been in a bad mood from the moment she woke up. She was clearly being unfair to me, and that made me both sad and mad. So I did not reply to her text message which she sent advising she had gotten home safe and wished me goodnight.
It took me a few hours to get to sleep that night; firstly because I missed falling asleep holding her in my arms, and secondly, because I was still puzzled as to why she had behaved that way. We had had such a nice weekend, what made her spoil it? What was going on? Was she considering breaking up with me? Why? Was it because of Brian? Was she having afterthoughts about him, about us? Or maybe it was because I spent lots of time with Dylan today? It couldn't be, she said she was happy about it… All these questions were torturing me. When I finally managed to fall asleep, it was 2am.
A/N: Please, don't hate me for this chapter, I swear there is an explanation for Amy's attitude. And a reason for what happens here. Don't forget to review if you enjoy reading, it makes me feel so good. Chapter 44 will be posted very soon.
