52. Aberforth
1. When he was really, really little, he used to follow Albus around. Everywhere. He'd trail after him, room to room, sit and watch him, or ask him what he was doing. He'd listen to him for hours, and only sometimes try to get Albus to do things he wanted. Because even though there was only a few years between them, Albus always seemed so much older, and Aberforth looked up to him.
2. Then Ariana was born, and suddenly Albus wasn't so interesting after all. Instead of watching Albus think, or read, or listening to him talk about things Aberforth didn't understand nor care to, he would watch Ariana blink and grab his hands, listen to her gurgle. Instead of trying to get Albus to play games with him, he'd try and teach Ariana to say his name. And she'd always look up at him with such wonder, such love, and even from a young age he was the one who could calm her when she cried. He was devoted to her, from the moment he set eyes on her.
3. He should have been in the garden with her. That's all he could think when he draped a blanket over his little sister's shoulders, his mother crying softly and his father getting angrier and angrier, his own eyes damp.
If he'd been in the garden with her, it wouldn't have happened. He'd have been able to protect her. Big brothers protected little sisters. But he'd failed. He hadn't been there, hadn't protected her, and now she...she was...
4. And then dad was storming out, and mum was screaming, screaming at him not to go, that he couldn't leave him, that they needed him, they needed him. And then dad looked back, told her that he was sorry, but he had to. Then he hugged them, all of them, and walked out. Mum sank to her knees, crying. And dad never came home.
He can pinpoint that as the exact moment his whole life changed forever.
5. No one told him what his father had done. Mum told Albus, but they told him and Ariana that dad just wasn't coming home. One day she left them, was gone for hours, and when she came home she had obviously been crying. She told them to go pack their things, that they were moving house. He kinda guessed what his dad had done, though, and led Ariana upstairs, then sat on the steps to listen to his mother and brother. His mum was crying again, and he listened as she told Albus that dad was in Azkaban, that he was going to be there forever. That they were moving because the neighbours were saying things. That they would have to keep Ariana a secret, otherwise they'd take her away. That dad had given his freedom to protect her.
For the first time since Ariana had been attacked, Aberforth cried, silent tears falling for a minute or two before he went back to his sister.
6. Ariana was so...so different...so distant, and it broke him. His little sister, so damaged. He was so lost, so helpless.
The only real time he saw the old Ariana in her was when they were with the goats. Just the two of them, sat outside with the animals, or feeding them. She would light up, and it was because of that that he loved goats.
7. They were managing. Struggling sometimes, yes, but managing. He could calm her – they still had that bond – and mum could control her. Even if he did hate Albus just a little bit for his indifference to their sister, Aberforth was dealing with the life they had. But then he walked into the house to see Ariana stood there, staring at the floor in confusion. And...and mum was on the floor...and mum was dead...
And that was worse, because what would they do without their mum?
8. He knew what Albus and Gellert were planning. He heard them, and every once in a while he'd – accidently, of course – find a letter that one had written to the other. He was smart – not Albus' standards, of course – but smart enough to piece it together. And he was so angry, because Albus wasn't even thinking of Ariana. Like always, he was ignoring her, like always, he considered her unimportant, and how could he?
And then when he was shouting, because it was just too far. For once in his life, Albus had to think of Ariana. It was time, he heard himself yelling, that Albus learned to care about his sister. And then spells were flying at him, and he was even angrier – and then he saw Ariana, and she was involved – she couldn't help it – she didn't even know what she was doing – and even as he turned to her, she was falling, falling, so slowly, to the floor, and crumpling and...and she was dead, she was dead...Ariana? And he wasn't even aware of Gellert running away, of Albus crouching beside him – wasn't even sure how he'd ended up crouched beside her, never mind Albus – all he was aware of was her...
At the funeral, he couldn't help it. He didn't know who had cast the fatal spell, but as far as he was concerned, Albus and Gellert were both to blame. As was he, because once again he'd failed to protected her. And this time, this time she was dead.
And so because Gellert wasn't around, and he couldn't hit himself, he found his fist connecting with Albus' face, felt his nose break, and felt the satisfaction that came with it.
9. Of all the death's he'd experienced – including his father's, who'd died in prison – Albus' was the easiest to accept. Sure, it was painful that his last relative had died, sure he mourned...but Albus and he had grown so far apart and there was so much bitterness there, that Albus' death affected him a lot less than it ought to have.
10. He wasn't going to join the fight. He wasn't going to risk his life over something like that, like Albus had. But then he looked at Ariana's portrait, and she simply smiled at him, and nodded. And he'd never been able to argue with her.
