Hello, my lovely readers.

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On with the story!

Chapter 44

"Your day of leading the klutz and the pretty boy on a mission you can tell me nothing about went well then?" asked Severus sourly. He didn't worry about keeping his voice down- Diggory was out of the house for the night. Molly Weasley had extended an invitation for dinner that had only reached to Cedric. He had seemed worried about leaving Hermione, until she had told him to go.

Hermione, perched on the kitchen counter, finished chewing before answering. "Marvelously. Almost as good as this dinner you cooked me."

On the plate was the remains of a delicately seasoned chicken breast, asparagus, and squash. Severus had arrived at half past six- twenty minutes after Hermione had informed him that Cedric would be out for the evening- with all the ingredients needed for dinner, as well as a light white wine that Hermione found she appreciated very much. He had cooked as they had gone through the usual exchange of information, then started on Potions research- the latest edition of Potions Monthly had been released that day. When he had asked her about how she had spent her morning, Hermione had been unable to answer because of the vow she had taken in Dumbledore's office.

"What is it you needed high heels and that dress for?" he pressed. "Not that I disapprove. It makes you look twenty-five and that's good for my conscience."

Hermione hadn't bothered to change- she quite liked the way the dress fit closely to her waist and made her feel adult. She had gotten rid of the hose and the heels though- they were ridiculous. At least, she had gotten rid of the heels until she knew Severus was coming. Anything to make the height difference more manageable. "The makeup is what makes me look older, not the dress. And I needed to look at least twenty five," she said flippantly. "Anything else is details and you know you can't have those."

"If you can't tell me details, can you at least reassure me that Diggory was only moderately in the way?" Severus stabbed a piece of squash viciously, as if it was the yellow vegetable's fault that Hermione couldn't speak of her morning activities.

Hermione took a sip of wine, savoring the warmth and taste. "Actually, he was useful. More than useful- I wouldn't have gotten most of the information freely without him. I could have taken it, of course, but that would leave traces."

Two dark eyebrows rose in surprise. "He was useful?" If Diggory had been there, he would have been insulted by the surprise in Snape's voice.

Setting down her empty plate and picking up her still half-full wine glass, Hermione nodded. "Very useful, actually. He isn't half bad, Severus. I've just been- no. I was prejudiced against him from the beginning, and you too. We underestimated him. He was helpful, and not just that. He's nice, Severus. We clashed a bit because I was hostile."

He eyed her wine glass. "Have you had a bit too much again?"

"No, I have not," Hermione said primly. "For heaven's sake, Severus. I'm just admitting I was wrong."

"Someone call The Daily Prophet," Severus said, his voice lightly teasing. "This is the story of a lifetime. Hermione Granger admitting she was wrong?"

She stuck her tongue out at him, but thought to herself that if teasing her would pull him from his Diggory inspired bad mood, then she could take the heat. "Hush, you."

"Don't waggle that little pink tongue in front of me unless you want me to do something about it," warned Severus, not quite teasing anymore. "Tempting an old man isn't polite."

Hermione smirked at him. "It's not temptation if you intend to follow through," she said boldly. "And I intend to follow through." She sipped at her wine, then looked up at him through her lashes. "I'd recommend eating faster if I were you."

Severus sniffed. "I'll eat at my own pace, thank you very much." Even so, the last few bites of food on his plate were soon gone. He gathered his plate and Hermione's, putting both in the sink. When he left them there, Hermione made a sound of protest.

"Severus-"

"The house elves will take care of them and take joy in it," he said, bordering on cross. "My time, however, would be better spent taking care of you than washing dishes."

Sighing, Hermione gave in. "Fine. Then get over here."

"I don't like being ordered around, Hermione." He leaned against the sink, his eyes dark and his arms folded over his chest. "I already have two masters, a third is not welcome, even if she is pretty. Ask nicely." His voice was teasing, although there was an edge of seriousness.

Severus Snape is the most goddamn complicated man I've ever met. He's got more issues than Remus Lupin and that's saying a lot. Still, she understood. There was a lot he was laying bare to her in that moment. A serious desire not be commanded- and a wish to be asked for. Hermione knew she was bossy, she knew she could be commanding and that most of the time it as a good thing because it meant everything got done. But she also knew that Severus was prickly and under stress from his two masters and he didn't need that from a mere teenager. What he wanted was for her to ask- which was yet another issue in and of itself.

He wanted to be wanted. To be asked for. To be desired.

A completely human reaction, but still one that made her heart ache. Too few people had wanted Severus Snape in his life time.

Anyone else wouldn't have understood what he was saying, would have turned away in a huff and left him once again. He could be prickly on purpose, her Severus. But it was who he was, and she loved that person.

"Please come to me," Hermione said, voice low, curling around the words. "Please come here and stand between my legs-" she spread them, inching forward on the counter- "and kiss me, Severus. Please."

His grace, something that had drawn her to him in the first place, was fluid as he crossed the room to her. His white shirt was rolled up to the forearms, showing scarred and burned hands with long, delicate fingers. The top two buttons were already undone from the heat of the stove. It was still tucked into his pants, however, and her fingers itched to untuck it, to unbutton it, to pull it off him.

The height of the counter brought her eyes level with his long nose. His hands rested on the counter on either side of her hips, not touching her. This close it was hard to look at him and she could only take in pieces- a spot he had missed while shaving, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, the smell of his shaving soap, the line of his cheekbones with his hair pulled back, the dark grey of his endless eyes...

He bent his head so that the rasp of his cheek bushed hers. "And where would you like me to kiss you, Hermione?" His voice tugged at that warm heat inside of her.

"Anywhere," she breathed. "Kiss me, please."

His lips sucked at the skin under her ear, caressed her cheek, found her own lips gently. He pulled at her lower lip, his hands coming to her waist. Her arms drew him closer, her legs wrapped around his waist.

When his lips moved away from her own, she whispered, "To my room, perhaps?"

He lifted her from the counter with ease, continuing to kiss her as they left the kitchen. He had to stop on the stairs, but Hermione contented herself with kissing his neck and beginning to unbutton his shirt. By the time they reached her door, it was half undone and definitely untucked.

The door sprang open with wandless magic and they were through the threshold; Severus pushed it back with one arm and deposited Hermione on the ground with the other. They faced each other, the only light coming in from the crack of the almost closed door.

Hermione closed her eyes, concentrated, and a few candles flickered to life. "That's better." It was- there was just enough light in the room that he was there and alive but also slightly hazy, half a dream and half a reality.

"It is." His hand rose to her cheek, curling down her neck until it met her shoulder. "Let me see you." A handful of unspoken words were said with his eyes.

Hermione turned her back to him, tilting her neck although she didn't need to move her still pinned-up hair out of the way. "I'll need you to unzip me, then."

It was a kind of agony then, waiting for him to do something. She could sense his presence- her magic was powerful enough to sense another powerful magic moving behind her- as he moved closer, and then she could imagine feeling his warmth. Her full length mirror was in front of her, but it was too dark to make out much other than the form of his white shirt moving closer and closer. A kiss was pressed to the back of her neck.

"I rarely see this part of you," he murmured. "Always covered by your hair." His fingers traced a constellation of freckles, then found the zipper of the dress. Slowly, so slowly, he drew it down.

When the band of her bra was exposed, she could hear him exhale. "Black?"

"I felt like it," Hermione replied. "Sexy underwear gives one confidence."

She could feel the cool air of the room on her flesh as he exposed her back, drawing the zipper down her spine centimeter by centimeter. It stopped right above the band of her panties, and Hermione smiled to herself as she imagined his reaction to her dropping the dress she was holding up with crossed arms.

"Drop it," Severus hissed in her ear, pressing the heat of his body into her back. He stepped away, waiting. In the shadowy mirror she suddenly met his eyes. Keeping his gaze, she let her arms drop and the dress slide to the floor.

She stepped out of the dress, and with a flick of her hand she sent it to drape over the back of her chair. She smiled at him, then examined her own reflection in the mirror.

Flesh made golden by candlelight and the harshness of black. Black straps over her shoulders, black cups holding her breasts. Her arms, long and slightly defined. Her collarbones, sloping in. Hermione liked the way her waist dipped in before her hips flared (too much, in her opinion). The dark dip of her naval, a small swell of the baby fat that had never gone away, the slight rise of her hipbones, the panties that were more black lace than real fabric. Her legs were short but strong and looked better because of the heels she was still wearing. She felt sexy and alive and a little embarrassed.

"I've never been so... exposed in front of someone before."

Her words hung in the air, quiet but heard.

"You are the most beautiful being I've ever seen," Severus said finally. He finally stepped closer, one hand going to her waist. She let out a shaky breath as his fingers stroked the skin of her abdomen. He shrugged out of his shirt, then stepped even closer, pressing his front to her back.

She could feel the cold metal of his belt buckle in the middle of her back, and the warmth of his chest and the feeling of skin against skin. There was a hot hardness pressing against her, his erection. She had caused that- her body. What was this, that she was in a darkened room with a man and he was so aroused at the sight of her body?

Warm lips met her neck, and Hermione tilted her head to give him access, reaching up behind her to hold his head. His arms had come around her in an embrace, holding her tightly, exploring her skin. His hands were so large- when he turned her around, to kiss her deeply, his fingers nearly met at the center of her back.

Hermione wound her arms around his neck, meeting his tongue with her own. His hands went to her arse, squeezing and pushing her into his hardness. To gain better access, he lifted one of her legs, and willingly she hooked it around his hips. "Fuck," he breathed, and one of his hands went to the back of her neck, fingers curling around her neck possessively.

Neither of them noticed the thump of footsteps running up the stairs. The door opened at the same time Cedric said, "Hermione, we need you-"

For Hermione, the words pierced through the haze made of Severus' mouth and his hands on her body and the warmth of him. Her name, said in a voice that was still becoming familiar.

Severus reacted first, pulling away. Hermione stumbled in the heels she was still wearing, dread filling her body at the look of murderous rage on her lover's face. She had to grab his arm for support, but turned to face the intruder.

Cedric was standing in the doorway, blocking out most of the light. His handsome face was just an expression of shock. His eyes were wide, and he was breathing heavily. "Professor- Hermione- What- what the fuck is this?" His gaze went from Hermione to Severus, unsure of who to look at.

Hermione took in the same scene, a feeling of horror trickling down her back like ice water. What was Cedric seeing? Professor Snape, half naked, with one of his students wrapped around him in her underwear. Hermione Granger with her tongue in the mouth of a man nearly twenty years her elder. She was struck mute, unable to speak despite the questions Cedric's stunned eyes were asking.

Severus was not. "What the fuck are you doing?" he hissed at Diggory. She had never seen him this angry before- not even in the Shrieking Shack.

"Emmeline Vance was just murdered," said Cedric, eyes still glued to Hermione. "Dumbledore told me to get Hermione."

"You, turn around," Severus snarled at Cedric. "Hermione, put some goddamn clothes on." A shirt was thrust into her hands, and reflexively Hermione put it on. It was long enough- it belonged to Severus- to cover her entirely. Cedric jolted and turned around, facing the door. Severus relaxed a fraction.

Hermione shook her head, putting a hand over her eyes. Emmeline Vance, dead. Fuck. Fuck. She was on Harry's defense, if they got information from her- fuck.

"Okay." she said finally. "Okay. The Order's meeting at Headquarters? You can turn around now."

Cedric turned around again, facing them. "Uh- yeah."

Hermione looked up at Severus. The muscle in his jaw was working, and he was staring at the air over Cedric's head. His fists were clenched, and the muscles in his arms were tight. She rested a hand on his forearm, bringing his eyes to hers.

"This is what we are going to do," Hermione said quietly, looking back at Cedric. "We are going to go to the Order meeting, and when that's done and everything's sorted we'll come back here and talk about this."

"Talk?" asked Cedric. "This- this- this is wrong? What the fuck is happening here?"

"Shut your mouth," Snape hissed. He turned to Hermione. "You get dressed. Diggory and I will be waiting for you in the living room." His voice changed when his eyes met Cedric's. "You, out, now." It was low and dangerous and still damnably sexy.

Cedric left, shutting the door behind him. Silence hung in the wake of his departure, Severus and Hermione just standing still.

Hermione shrugged off Severus' shirt, handing it back to him. He put it on, buttoned it with a spell, and tucked it in. Without a word, he swept out of the door.

Tears were burning behind her eyes, for the death of a friend or the death of an era she didn't know.


His robes were hanging on a chair in the kitchen. Severus called them to him, feeling instantly more comfortable once they were buttoned up to his neck. In his armor he was able to dart into the living room, wand in one hand, and grab the boy.

With a brute strength Cedric obviously didn't expect, Severus pushed him back until he was against the wall, Severus' wand in his face.

"What-"

"You will speak of this to no one," Severus spat, his eyes glinting darkly. "No one."

A look of rage overtook the handsome face in front of him. "Remember last time you attacked me like this?" asked Cedric angrily. "After the tournament. Were you fucking her then, too?"

Before he quite knew what he was doing, Severus' arm was pressing at Cedric's neck, choking the boy. "You don't understand what you are speaking of," he hissed. "Of course not! She is nineteen and-"

"More than a decade your junior," gasped Cedric.

"Give me one more reason to hurt you," whispered Severus, a kind of blind rage he had never felt before pressing at his eyes and fizzing in his muscles and making his magic pulse under his skin.

The clicking of heels on the stairs brought him to himself. He pushed himself off the gasping boy, going to stand by the staircase. "No one," he reminded Cedric. The boy glared, but nodded.

Hermione came down looking put together, her hair as perfect as it would get and her makeup reapplied, down to the red lipstick. The only thing was a mark on her neck she hadn't noticed. He cast the Glamour on her wordlessly, despite the way it sapped his strength.

"Let's go," Hermione said shortly.

The three of them left the Safe House in a silent, tense procession.


The Inner Circle of the Order of the Phoenix had gathered together to mourn one of their own. Molly still had tears running down her cheeks. Arthur's arm was around his wife, but his eyes were red. Mad-Eye Moody was jumpier than usual. Remus looked tired and strained. Hermione noticed that Harry wasn't at the table. Evidently, the Weasleys had 'forgotten' to bring him. She would have to talk to them about that.

"Sorry I'm late," Hermione said smoothly, sliding into her seat. "I was meeting with Severus when he came."

Cedric said nothing, put took a seat at the other end of the table, away from where Severus and Hermione sat close to Dumbledore.

"It is, of course, alright, my dear girl-"

"Fuck that." Mad-Eye Moody stood, swaying slightly as he gripped the table. "Why didn't you or Snape know about this, Granger?"

Hermione met his gaze calmly. "We knew that this was a possibility-"

"Possibility? You knew that Em was going to be attacked and you did nothing about it?" The speaker was a member that Hermione didn't know very well- only his file, which had mentioned that Vance had been his sponsor.

To Hermione's surprise, Severus came to her defense. "That wasn't what she said, Peters," he snarled. "We knew that the Death Eaters were trying to coordinate strikes on high level Order members. We didn't know who they would target or when."

"You say 'the Death Eaters' as if you weren't one of them, Snape," Mad-Eye said, accusation in his voice. "There is no way in hell you didn't know about this! Where were you when they were planning these attacks?"

"They probably organized the attack today," Snape said angrily. "They got a tip, some kind of information, and they jumped at the chance."

Moody leaned heavily on the table, his scarred face twisted into a scowl. "And just where did they get that information, Snape?"

Dumbledore spread his arms, standing. "Enough!"

"It's a valid question, Albus," the old Auror said. "How they hell did they get this?"

Hermione cleared her throat. "Give me the details of the attack. What happened exactly? Tonks?"

The Metamorphmagus sighed. "It was brutal, Hermione. Her house was broken into, and she was found dead from the AK in a room that was locked from the inside. The Muggle Aurors are baffled. But we went over the body. She was tortured for a bit." Tonks slid a bright blue file across the table to Hermione.

She opened it, looking at the official report. Evidence of Cruciatus Curse. Death from the AK. Bruises, probably from kicks. Threw up in one corner of the room. Burns on body.

"It looks like they were trying to get information out of her just as much as they were trying to send us a message," Hermione said after a moment. "This is bad news. Emmeline was on Harry's protective detail. She knows where he was staying, knows the guard schedule- if they got anything from her, Harry is in danger."

Molly started, indignant. "Harry is perfectly safe at the Burrow," she snapped.

"Exactly the opposite," Hermione countered. "Until we know for sure what they got out of Emmeline, then no one is safe at the Burrow. We should move everyone into Headquarters, at least until we know what we are dealing with."

"Absolutely not!" exclaimed Molly. "Albus-"

"I agree with Hermione," Dumbledore said gravely. "Harry's safety is our top priority. For a week at least we should have him here, at Headquarters. We can up the protections on the Burrow at that time, as we wait for Severus to report."

Molly looked from Hermione to Dumbledore, mouth open. "But- but- his godfather just died, Albus! We can't have him come back here!"

"In that case Harry can come and stay with Cedric and I at Safe House Three," Hermione said. "It would be safer that way, anyway."

"In what way, girlie?" Mad-Eye asked. "At least Headquarters is under a Fidelius Charm. This could be a trap- there is a Death Eater who knows where Safe House Three is. A Death Eater who can get past the illusion and bring others with him."

The accusation against Severus made the emotional part of Hermione seethe. The rational side of her took over, pushing the angry emotions down. "I don't appreciate what you are insinuating, Moody, but you make a good point. I wouldn't want Severus in that position in front of the Dark Lord."

"Alastor and Hermione are both correct," said Dumbledore, the stern tone of his voice letting his followers know that his word was final. "Harry- and all of the Weasleys- will come here until we can ascertain exactly what Lord Voldemort knows and we can improve protection on the Burrow."

"When will the funeral be?" someone asked, and just as quickly as that the meeting swept on.

Hermione's pulse was beating in her ears. The sound was uncomfortable, the feeling in the pit of her stomach even worse. She could see the harsh and angry line of Cedric's back. What would he do? Would he say something?

What would it be if everyone knew about her and Severus? Instinctively Hermione felt that it was wrong. That this thing that she and Severus had was to be kept private and secret, something between the two of them and no one else. It was special, sacred, delicate. It would burn in the light of day if it was put under the magnifying glass of public scrutiny.

Another part of her rebelled at this idea- why should they sneak around in secret, playact in public like they were nothing more than teacher and student, spy and handler? Why shouldn't she be able to lean into her lover's body for comfort, the same way Molly Weasley was tucked under Arthur's arm? They weren't doing anything wrong-

Except that they were.

A part of her had always known that it would be an issue, a huge issue. He was her teacher. Her professor. That was a bond that was never supposed to be broken. They had corrupted that beyond repair. How could she sit in his classroom now, knowing that his mouth had been on her breasts, that her hands had wound in his hair, that she had felt his hardness against her aching core?

When the meeting ended, Hermione stood woodenly, leaving quickly ahead of the bustle of people. Two people followed her out- Cedric and Severus.

When the three of them were alone in the foyer, Hermione stopped, turning and crossing her arms over her chest. "Are we going back to the Safe House to talk about this?"

"I am going to the Dark Lord's side," said Severus smoothly. "I'll make my report when I'm done." With a sneer for the both of them, he swept out the door and into the cool night air.

Cedric glared at him. "I'm going to visit my parents. They live in Ottery St. Catchpole near the Weasleys. I don't want them caught up in a mess if something happens."

I ask for one thing, Hermione thought angrily. "But-"

Cedric sighed. "I'm not going to say anything yet," he said tiredly. "I- now isn't a good time. I think we all need a day to cool off, no?"

"Yeah. I guess so," Hermione respond. She cursed herself for letting so much of her weariness leak into her voice.

He heard it- Cedric's face softened a bit. "I'm sorry," he offered.

"We'll talk about this when you get back," Hermione said, flapping a hand at him. "Go. See your parents."


When Hermione entered Safe House Three, alone, it felt as if there was a terribly heavy weight on her shoulders, bending her body and pushing on her spine. Her feet ached from the high heeled shoes, her head hurt from the pins holding her hair, and her eyes burned from the makeup around them.

A bath was in order.

Slowly she climbed the stairs to her room, stepping out of her shoes and on to the rug with a sigh of relief. Sitting at her desk she plucked pin after pin out of her hair, letting it fall down into the mess it was loose. Hermione used a spell to unzip her dress, struggling to avoid letting memory overwhelm her. Quickly she removed her fancy underwear and put on her robe.

She removed the makeup in front of the bathroom mirror, watching as her defined eyes became red and smaller, as her mouth went from tempting to dry and ordinary. The steam from the running bath soon clung to the mirror, thankfully obscuring her reflection. She hated mirrors. She hated mirrors and she hated the distorted truth that they could show.

When the steam was so thick that she could barely see in front of her, Hermione removed her robe and sunk into the water, letting her hair fan out around her.

Once the warmth of the water had sunk into her skin and into the wall of ice she had built around her emotions she couldn't keep the tears in anymore. They burned as they left her eyes, leaving tracks tinted slightly black from mascara on her face.

What would happen? What would Severus say? What would Cedric say? How would all of this get resolved?

She had known from the first moment their lips had touched that what she was getting herself into was a dangerous contradiction of right and wrong. The lists of wrongs was great.

He was so much older than her. She was nothing but a child compared to his life and his experiences and his intelligence, despite her being over the age of consent physically.

He was a Death Eater, she was Harry Potter's best friend. Even if he was a spy for the Order, no one could ever be sure of his loyalties. He was a liar as slick as oil on glass. Everyone- Dark and Light- would oppose their relationship.

And he was her teacher. Her professor. She had sat in his fucking classroom since she was eleven years old. Her feet hadn't even touched the ground from the bench at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall the first time she had seen him. She had spent hours in the library researching Potions for essays for him, which he had graded and left marked with scathing comments. And besides that, he had taught her so much when she was young. How to fight, how to protect her mind- she had been constantly seeking his approval since she had been eleven years old. Others would ask what kind of perversion would lead a grown man to kiss the girl he had been in a position of authority over since she had been a malleable child.

But the wrongs didn't- couldn't- compare to the things that were right.

There was so much right in the way he could look at her and know what was wrong. In the way that she could tell him things that she could never admit to Harry or Ron, things like her memories of the people she had murdered, things that he could understand without judgment because he knew what it was. Not what it was like, what it was. Severus Snape understood Hermione in a way that no one else could. What was so wrong about that? Having a person to connect to?

And with the work that they did there was so much that needed to be kept hidden all the time. He constantly needed to be playing a part- except in front of her. And she could relax in front of him as well. When it was just Severus and Hermione and the four walls of her room she didn't need to be the perfect prefect of Gryffindor or a competent Order member. He didn't have to be a Death Eater or an Order member. They could just be Severus and Hermione, man and woman.

So what if he was her teacher? There had been little she had been learning in his classroom of late. His role as her teacher was at its end in every way but officially, when she had to sit in his classroom. And even then she could pretend to be nothing but a normal student, as Glamours obscured her real face and her mind wandered as she brewed.

There was nothing but right when he held her and kissed her and touched her. Hermione hadn't known that just the touch of mouth on mouth could make her feel what Severus had shown her she could feel. There was always so much in her head, every day, plans and reports and worries- until his hands were on her body and his mouth was on hers and then her head was filled with Severus. Wonderful Severus.

When the tears ran dry she slowly washed her hair, then left the tub. Severus would be returning soon, and then they would talk.


When the long and lanky form of Severus slid into her room, Hermione fought the urge to go to him and wind around him, to kiss him again. There was a rising panicky feeling that was only just trapped by her breastbone, the feeling like she had to do it now before the chance was taken from her forever. Instead, she remained behind her desk, only moving to get her notebook.

"What did he say?" she asked quietly.

Severus kept his robes on instead of shrugging them off like he normally did. Her stomach clenched. He sat in his chair, tilting his head as he considered her carefully. "Nothing. He didn't grant my request for an audience."

She bit her lip. That wasn't good. "Did you get a chance to talk to any of the other Death Eaters?"

"No," he snapped. "I hung around there for three hours, but nothing. All of the ones who had been on the raid were with the Dark Lord. I was able to get nothing. I'll try again tomorrow."

Hermione scrawled a brief note in her notebook, the slid it back into its former position on her bookshelf. She avoided looking at him for as long as possible, staring at her books. Textbooks, journals, an odd fiction book or two.

"We need to talk about this, don't we?" she asked finally, turning her gaze to him. The harsh lines of his face were held in perfect neutrality, which gave everything away at once. No, don't do this, Severus...

He nodded sharply. "Yes."

This wasn't a conversation she wanted to have sitting down. Hermione stood, coming around her desk to lean on it. Severus remained seated, his dark eyes following her. Her leg was inches away from his thigh. She could smell the soap from his post-Death Eater shower.

"I'm sorry for not closing the door properly," Hermione whispered. "We were so caught up we didn't notice."

Severus looked away from her. "My fault as well."

Silence hung.

"Blame won't help," Hermione said finally. "What- what do we do now?"

His eyes went up, catching hers. "It was going to happen sooner or later. We weren't being careful, Hermione!" His voice cracked on her name.

She choked on her own breath. "We can be more careful-"

"This entire thing was fucking carelessness from the beginning," Severus snapped. "We shouldn't have even started anything."

"But we did." Trembling, cursing her body for betraying her, Hermione reached out a hand, caressing the roughness of his cheek. "We did, Severus. It was going to happen, sooner or later, because it is so right-"

Violently he pulled away from her, standing and going to the other side of the room. "Right? What fucking world are you living in, Hermione?" Turning, he bore down on her, until she was against the wall and he was over her, anger in his face. "I'm your fucking teacher! To the rest of the world you aren't even seventeen yet! I'm a fucking pervert and you're a stupid girl!"

"That's not true!" Hermione cried. "You know it's not, Severus-"

"What I know is that we were living in a bloody happy bubble and ignoring the outside world," hissed Severus. "And Diggory popped it and let the real world in." They were so close, they were breathing the same air, his mouth was so close to hers-

He pulled away again, fury in the spread of his shoulders. "Did you see the disgust on his face?"

"He doesn't understand!" she protested. "There is nothing wrong with us! I'm at least nineteen by now, I can make my own decisions! We have something special-"

"What we have is dangerous," said Severus. There was a note in his voice, a note of weariness that scared her more than anything. He turned to face her again. His face wasn't resolute- there was a touch of sorrow there. "I told you from the beginning. We aren't focused on the war, we are focused on each other. We have roles to play, Hermione! You need to be protecting Harry and protecting the Order- I handed you Emmeline Vance's name on a piece of paper, warning you she'd be attacked, and you were too concerned with fighting and making up with me than you were with getting her the proper protection."

She tried to interrupt, but he kept talking over her.

"And is that a fucking surprise? No. You're still a teenager, Hermione. Yes, you are the most brilliant school girl I've ever taught-" there his mouth twisted with some kind of emotion- "but you are still barely more than a child. I don't know why Dumbledore thought it was appropriate to make you one of the top five most valuable people in the Order at your age. Except I do- I vouched for you. I forgot your age, he forgot your age, we all forgot because you are competent and so good at what you do it is easy to think that you aren't a teenaged girl whose head can be turned with kisses and promises-"

"Stop!" Hermione said in a low, dangerous voice. "Stop right there, Severus." There had been something terrible in his face when he had said Dumbledore's name, something that made her own blood run cold.

But he continued. "Gods, it was so easy. You don't know what love is, what romance is- all I had to do was kiss you and you were mine." The sneer on his face was almost mocking.

"Stop," she whispered again. "Just-"

With a low laugh, Severus came close to her, pulled her tight to him and kissed her, his mouth moving against hers harshly. She was rigid for a moment, then leaned into him, kissing him back. Suddenly he pulled away, leaving her reeling.

"See! Even now, even after I've said all these horrible things to you, you still kiss me back as if I were your lover-" he half-shouted.

She put a hand to her mouth, unable to help the tears that started to fall. "Don't, please, Severus."

He came close to her again, and took her chin in his hands. All expression was gone from his face again. "We are done, Hermione," he said quietly. "We should never have started this in the first place."

Hermione clutched at his hand, her teary eyes wide. "But we did. We did. How can you give this- what we have- up?"

"It is a liability," Severus told her, gently. Too gently. "It's hurt my ability to do my job, it's hurt your ability to do your job. We are in a war. We can't do this anymore."

"But it was working," Hermione said, hating the way her voice rose. "It was working. If Cedric hadn't walked in-"

Severus closed his eyes, let out a breath. "It wouldn't have lasted the summer," he told her, eyes still closed. "I'm your teacher, in case you've forgotten. I forgot too. We cannot do this, Hermione."

He tried to pull away, but she hung on. "No. What about everything you said to me? You said you would never hurt me, that you wouldn't let me go, you said that you wanted me-"

"Goddamn it, woman!" he said, voice raised. He pulled away from her, moving to put distance between them. "What the fuck do you want me to say, Hermione?"

Hermione stood in the center of her room, trembling with anger or fear or sorrow. "The truth, Severus. Just tell me the truth." When he didn't move, she addressed his back. "Severus Snape, come here and tell me the fucking truth."

He whirled around, crossing the distance until there was almost no distance between them. "The truth? Don't you know better than to ask a spy and a traitor for the truth?"

"You are more than a spy or a traitor," Hermione whispered. "You are my Severus."

"Except I'm not," he said, one hand coming to her face to tuck a curl behind her ear. "Everything I am right now is a spy and a traitor. You were an escape but-"

"But what?"

His dark grey eyes were boring into hers. "The Greater Good," he said, voice barely more than a rumble in his chest. "I can't think of myself right now. I can't think about what I want or what I- what I need-" on that word her breath hitched- "and neither can you, Hermione. We are part of something that's bigger than just you or me. I am a spy and you need to protect our only hope."

He bent down, bringing his mouth to hers, and kissed her softly. She hesitated, but his arms went around her and lifted her up and his tongue sought entrance to her mouth and finally she obliged, she kissed him back even as her tears wet both of their faces. He was kissing her with a terrible sadness in his movements, in the way he clung to her desperately.

When he finally pulled away, she let out a shuddering breath. "Why did you do that?"

He caressed her face lightly. "Because I didn't want what had come before to be our last kiss." His fingers lingered on her skin, then left suddenly.

Hermione was about to reply when his face contorted and his left arm spasmed. "The Dark Lord calls me to his side."

"Be safe," Hermione said, tears spilling over again. "Be- be safe, Severus."

He gave her a sharp nod. "Of course, Miss Granger." He left, robes swirling behind him.


And so ends Chapter 44.

First, nobody kill me. This needed to happen, as you'll see a few chapters from now. Don't jump ship, don't give up hope.

Second, sorry, that's one hell of a way to reward all of you for voting for this story, but there is another way I'm rewarding you and that is with a short story! Send me prompts, please. It might take me a while to get that written, since the next two months are going to be busy.

Next week is finals week! That'll be stressful, so please send me lots of nice reviews and good thoughts. The week after that is Spring Break, but I'll spend a good potion of that break getting ready to go Italy! I'll be in Italy for four weeks studying abroad, then I'll spend two weeks with my family in France and then go to Malta for three weeks for my internship. Then back home for the rest of my summer!

As you can see, writing time will be a bit short. Don't worry, however, I'll have lots of plane rides and train rides that I can spend typing away on this little story.

Your excerpt:

"I don't need to talk about it, or anything," said Hermione sharply. "You walked in on something that had nothing to do with you."

Please review! It doesn't take that long and it let me know that people are reading and I'm not just sending this off into the void. ;)

Thank you, everyone, and I'll be updating soon-ish maybe.