OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Chapter Fifty-One

Support

"No I am fine really" Esmerelda said to the woman as she led her into the flat. She watched her as she carried in her shopping bags.

"Of course you are, that is why you are crying in a corridor" Julie said sarcastically shaking her head. The poor girl looked so angry with herself and Julie was worried she didn't know how to express herself properly. She thought crying was a bad thing.

"Why don't you sit down, do you want a drink?" Julie asked her. Esmie shook her head, still crying softly to herself.

"I better get back, I am disturbing you" the girl said standing up of the sofa again.

"Esmerelda sit down, you are doing no such thing" the woman said. Esmerelda sighed and sat back down before replying "A coffee please, two sugars and milk" Esmerelda told the woman who nodded and then turned around to go to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home" she said seeing the girl was sat on the sofa looking like she was in her headteacher's office waiting nervously for her punishment. Clearly uncomfortable in that moment.

Esmerelda waited playing with her hands, but then saw some pictures on the wall which caught her eye, she stood up and walked over so she could see better. They were all of Mildred, one of them she had ice-cream all over her face, one of them she had cake in her hair, another she was blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. Esmerelda looked at the pictures seeing Mildred grow up from a baby before her eyes.

"Ahh you found the photos" Julie chuckled as she returned with the hot drink. Esmie jumped and turned around, thinking the woman was going to have a go at her for snooping. Julie seeing her reaction walked over to her.

"That one was taken at the beach, she was so happy with that sandcastle she built, it took her hours, she always was artistic" Julie commented, seeing the young girl was now looking at a picture of Mildred beaming next to a sandcastle.

Esmerelda took the mug of coffee from Julie and muttered a thanks before she replied "I have a lot of pictures like this, thankfully our grandmother had the common sense to take a lot of pictures, we never had a lot up at home with our parents, that was always one thing I wanted to do when we moved out, it took a while but our wall is similar" Esmerelda said. Julie slowly nodded and then walked back to the sofa, sensing the girl was ready to talk.


"Pictures make it seem like a home" she said as the blond took a seat next to her. "Is everything alright? It is not like you to be upset" Julie said worried something had happened to one of the younger girls. Esmerelda took a gulp of her coffee before replying.

"I am just stressed. I am still struggling to cope with the guilt of what happened to Ethel, and having to come to terms with watching her in pain and I have to cause her pain, during her physio sessions" Esmerelda started by saying, Julie sighed, she should have known Esmerelda would blame herself.

"Esmerelda you can't blame yourself for what happened" Julie said knowing it was no-one's fault it was just a horrific accident.

"I took my eyes of her" Esmerelda replied looking at the floor ashamed.

"And Ethel is not a toddler, you don't need to watch her all the time, also we both know Ethel has very good flying ability, you didn't have to watch her do it" Julie explained knowing it was not good to blame herself. "All parents in the world take their eyes of their child at some point, what about at night when a mother puts her child to bed and then leaves the room, does that make them a bad parent? If the child is sick or scratches themselves is that their fault? Of course not because they had to sleep themselves" Julie explained, not wanting the girl to be upset. "And I know it will be hard to see Ethel hurting and having to make it worse, but in the long run it will help her, that is all you can tell yourself" Julie went on. Esmerelda sighed and shrugged and Julie wondered if she was taking anything in.

"It was getting easier, I was starting to think maybe I am doing all I can and it isn't my fault, but then Miss Cackle and Miss Hardbroom started dragging me into the school to tell me all the things wrong with my sisters and how bad at parenting I am, no matter what I do they are not satisfied, it just never ends" Esmerelda admitted, the meetings upsetting her more than she let on, no-one liked to be told they were failing.

"Oh no not you too" Julie replied and Esmerelda looked at her curiously not understaffing "Since Mildred first started they have dragged me in to tell me Mildred doesn't know enough magic and it is not up to a satisfactory level, they want me to teach her but I am not a witch so I don't see how I can, I have suggested a tutor but they dismissed that, saying all Mildred needs to do is concentrate" Julie told the girl. She had not really told anyone before, what would be the point? She couldn't talk about Cackles to people in the non-magical world and the people at Cackles looked down on her for being non-magical.

"I didn't know….I am sorry..." Esmerelda said looking down more and looking lost in that moment.

Julie was angry. How dare them woman treat the girl like this, Julie was older and knew not to take them seriously but Esmerelda, who was young and still learning about being the sole parent would believe everything they told her.

"Don't listen to them Esmerelda, never listen to them, I think it is amazing that two woman who have never had kids can talking about parenting" Julie said wondering what they thought gave them the right to talk about it when they had never done it. Yes they were in charge of a lot of girls, but being a teacher was much different than being a parent.

"They are not happy because I took Ethel and Sybil, they think my age makes me incapable of looking after them properly, teens being parents or guardians is seen as treason in the witching world" Esmerelda replied, knowing why they were not happy about the situation. Julie was not happy herself.

"And there are many children who are abused by ADULTS, your age does not define your ability to care for anyone" Julie told Esmerelda, wishing she had support instead of people telling her she was useless at it, purely because she was not the typical age that people looked after others. Esmerelda was the most mature teenager Julie had ever met, she acted older because she had always looked after others.

"I know, but no-one else does, I got a letter this morning, about the court case that I have to attend, it is going to be the one where it is decided where the girls live permanently, they could decide to return them to our home, or put them into foster care, I might not win, and if anyone in that case is as small minded as the teachers I won't and my parents have money to hire the best support, I do not" Esmerelda explained. She cried more now, the fears returning as to whether this will be her last few weeks looking after Ethel and Sybil.

"Then they will be fools, it is clear that you are the best person to look after them girls, you are brilliant with them, and if they can't see that they must be blind" Julie told the young girl, thinking anyone who would take the girls from her just because she is 'young' would be just as bad as their parents for putting them in this situation in the first place.

"I just do my job, as the oldest it is my job to look after my sisters" Esmerelda said, not seeing that she was doing anything special.


"No Esmerelda it is so much more than that, Mildred told me Ethel is calmer, Sybil is not scared of her own shadow, they always seem happy with you and you are the reason that they have changed, it was your love and patience that did that" Julie told her, knowing that the girl was doing a fine job at mothering them and it was paying off because it was starting to show to other people. Esmerelda didn't reply and Julie carried on.

"You are so brave, not many people could take on two young girls, even if they are their family, not at your age, it would be to much for them, I couldn't of done it, and I don't know anyone else who could, you are the mother them girls never had, they are very lucky" the woman told her, knowing what she needed was to be told she was doing a good job, not to try harder. Julie didn't care if the girl was a teenager, she had made a life for herself and that was pretty amazing.

"I am not their mother, I didn't give birth to them and I have already being told that is what matters" Esmerelda replied. Julie scoffed.

"You are the one who has always being their for them and mothered them, anyone can have a baby, you have to earn the status of mother though by your actions, Esmerelda you are brilliant, and if it will help for me to stand up in a court and say that then I will, you are not going to lose your sisters, because you always fight for them" Julie told the girl smiling. The girl had tears in her eyes, touched and Julie hoped that meant she understood. She needed her to understand that she was doing a good job, when everyone else was against her.

"Thank you" the girl said, crying again, completely overwhelmed."I needed someone to tell me I was doing okay...would you really help with the case?" Esmerelda asked her curiously.

"If I am needed, I can't think of anyone else that should have them girls but you, if they are taken away they will only go downhill again, and if that is what it takes for them to listen so be it" Julie said.

Esmerelda suddenly hugged the woman and Julie was taken of guard knowing that the girl was not one for physical contact, but she was touched, knowing the girl was overwhelmed and was starting to trust her. She smiled and hugged the young girl back. She saw herself in Esmerelda. Okay she hadn't being a teenager when she had Mildred but she had being alone, and at times it felt like everyone was against her, she didn't want someone else to feel like that.