Façade: Through the Eyes of the Codemeister

Chapter Fifty: What We've All Been Waiting For

Chef sat next to the totem pole, holding a tray of sticky buns. Expecting to eat his cinnamon-y deliciousness in peace, he was not excited to see the girls show up from nowhere.

The girls were closing in. Victory was in their grasp...

...Then Owen appeared.

A hungry Owen.

The kind of Owen you don't want to friggin' mess with.

And he ran past the girls with such amazing speed, and beat them to... the sticky buns.

Apparently he wasn't hungry for victory.

And so, the girls tagged the totem pole first, winning the challenge.

"Oh, wow," I heard Noah say. "I guess we can't blame Duncan here."

"The hell you can," Duncan growled.

"I just said I can't, genius."

Onscreen, Gwen was doing something I thought I'd never see, after seeing them go at each others' throats since the start of the challenge: she congratulated Heather. Genuinely.

"Congratulations, Heather." She shook the master-manipulator's hand. "You've earned it."

"Please!" she said, modestly. "You devised the best pranks. Who knew you were so evil?"

"...Excuse me?" Gwen asked, eyebrows lowered. "Me, evil?"

"What?"

"And I suppose you're the heroine of this crapfest?"

"Was there ever any doubt?" Heather simply asked, smirking.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Plenty," she muttered, as she walked away.

-X-

"This was supposed to be MY day!" Chef shouted, pacing in front of the campers at that night's bonfire ceremony. "I had it all planned. I was gonna eat my sticky buns," Owen gasped, "relax with one of Heather's facials," Heather gasped, "while I finished reading Gwen's diary," Gwen gasped, "and cleaned my toenails. Which reminds me, you need to sharpen this." He threw Duncan's knife at him--it was bent in odd places and covered with some nasty gunk.

"It's a good thing I keep a spare," our Duncan said, holding up his spare knife for the rest of the room to see.

Onscreen, Chef continued. "Then I was gonna loot the rest of Owen's snack stash," Owen gasped again, "but YOU ALL RUINED IT!! SO... here's your invinci-darn-bility." He threw Gwen and Heather their marshmallows, then gave the boys an evil, twisted grin. The kind of grin that would even make Kefka Palazzo squirm in fear. [1]

"Oh, how suspenseful," Noah mumbled. "We all know who he hates the most."

"Yeah, no kidding," Leshawna muttered.

"YOU!" Chef shouted, throwing a marshmallow into Owen's mouth. "Choke on that, glutton!" He pointed at Duncan. "YOU'RE FINISHED!"

"Good!" Duncan talked back. "Get me outta here and back to juvie. At least with convicts you know what to expect."

So Duncan was the next one to walk the dock... obviously. He was here, you knew that already. But despite his rivalry with Gwen, she seemed to be the only person he had managed to leave on good terms with. It didn't help that Owen belched in his face, either.

The screen switched to a confession cam with Heather. "I just want to thank everyone who got me to the final three." Oh boy. Suck-up time. "Courtney, I feel your pain, girl. You should not have been cheated off like that."

Courtney was stunned. "H-How did she--?"

"Noah, you are one seriously smart guy. Don't think I didn't notice."

Noah muttered, "Bullsh--"

"And Lindsay, the most fashionable girl on the island, next to me, you know you'll always be one of my BFFs."

Lindsay looked confused. "Who's she talking about?"

"Seriously, how did she know I was--?" Courtney began, but Noah cut her off.

"She probably doesn't know who did it, but she probably figured there was no way you would've been canned fairly."

"...Oh."

Gwen was shown next in the confession can. "I've got to admit I didn't think I'd make it this far." She yawned. "But now that I have I might as well win."

"I hope she does," Trent said.

"Same here," I added.

"You bet," Duncan agreed.

"You mean Owen, right?" Courtney asked.

"Why would I want Owen to win?"

"Why do you want Gwen to win, Dunkie?"

"Dunkie?" Trent asked.

"Why do you want Owen to win, Princess?"

"I don't. I just don't want those two jezebels to win." Lots of gasps were heard around us. I made one of them. "Which reminds me... you've got A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO, MISTER!!"

"What? What did I--?"

"You let Heather cuddle up with you like that?" she asked in a combination of disbelief and disgust.

"So she's hot," he said, shrugging. "Not my fault."

She stood up and grabbed him by the ear again. "We are going to have another very long talk, Duncan." She took him out of the room, with him once again whining about his predicament.

Noah smirked. "They make such a sweet couple, don't they?"

-X-

The next day had to be one of my favourite days at the Playa des Losers.

No, Gwen hadn't shown up. But at this point, the side of me that wanted Gwen to win it all was winning. She was honestly the last person I wanted to see at the Playa des Losers at the moment.

Nothing exciting happened that morning. Just the usual--breakfast, hanging out, stuff like that--but around noon things got a little interesting.

We were all at the big pool, ironically the same pool we accidentally voted Leshawna off at, reminiscing about the season. It was about an hour after lunch, and we were just hanging out.

"I really hope Gwen wins," I said, and Trent patted me on the back.

"Me too, bro. After all that's happened, she deserves it."

Courtney yawned mockingly. "If you're done with your little swoonfest, the clear choice is obviously Owen. He's the nicest person left on the island, and he's shown to hold his own. He may not be the toughest guy out there, but he's got a lot of heart that those other two don't have."

"I think Gwen has plenty of heart," Leshawna said sternly.

"Well, I think we can all agree on one thing," Bridgette said. "We definitely don't want Heather to win."

"Now hold on a second," Harold said, surprisingly being the voice of reason. "I don't like the things that Heather did anymore than the last guy, but I still think there's more than what we've seen. And you have to admit she has mad master-manipulating skills. As underhanded as they may be, you have to give her credit for having the guts and the brains to do what she does."

"Like hell we do," Duncan scoffed.

"Give the devil his due," Noah simply muttered in Harold's defence.

"We shtill don't have to like her if we give her her due, do we?" Beth asked, and Noah shook his head. "Okay, I'll give her her due then."

Before anyone could say anything more, we heard an ear-splitting scream in the distance.

"What the hell was that?" Duncan asked, shocked.

"That... sounded like Heather," I pointed out.

After a long pause, Lindsay squealed happily. "I hope she got my list!"

-X-

"YAY! She got my list!" Lindsay squealed happily again, as the rest of us stared in awe at the docks of the Playa des Losers. "...But wait... where's the messy lipstick, Goth make-up, and overly done eye-shadow?"

"Chris could've compared that to my 'Joker make-up' one," Harold pointed out.

"AUGH!! I HATE YOU ALL!!" Heather screamed, stepping out of the boat.

"Bad hair day, Heather?" Leshawna asked, resulting in laughter from the rest of us.

"Oh, laugh it up, you morons." She stomped past us. "But I'll have the last laugh once I sue Chris out of everything he's got!"

"You'll have to wait in line," Courtney said smugly. "I've got a pending lawsuit on that egomaniacal freak as we speak."

"Then you better bankrupt his ass," Heather mumbled, entering the building.

Once we were sure Heather was out of earshot, the majority of us cheered, happy to see that, if anything, that manipulating witch wasn't going to get away with that hundred grand.

-X-

Despite what you may think, we didn't get very many chances to pick on Heather. She had locked herself in her room for most of her stay (Harold was the only one willing to make any sort of peace--he would also be the one to bring her food). We could hear her using an electric razor every so often--apparently she thought being completely bald would look better than whatever the hell kind of hairdo she ended up with when she got here. And honestly, I thought so, too.

She also managed to find a wig at some point that afternoon. No one knows where. Maybe someone on the staff had one on hand?

Later that night, Chris had appeared once again at the Playa des Losers. Announcing for all of us to show up in the main hall, we were all there... aside from Heather.

"She locked herself in her room," Harold told him.

"Well, you can tell her this stuff later then." He addressed us all. "Tomorrow will finally be the big day. I know, we haven't had enough time to show you the last episode's rough cut, but I think we can wait on that for now. Besides, it's not like Heather's going to want to watch it anyway." He laughed sinisterly. "But like I said, tomorrow's the big day: the grand finale! Tomorrow, someone will finally win Total Drama Island! And the crowd goes wild!"

At that, we all cheered.

"So here's the thing: tomorrow you will all be coming back to the island to support whoever you think deserves the prize money the most: Gwen or Owen." He tapped his chin. "You know, that's kinda funny. Gwen... Owen... both four letters in length, with just one letter different."

"Coincidence?" Noah pondered.

"Doubt it," Chris said with a smirk. "Who will win Total Drama Island? Will it be Gwen or Owen? The goth chick or the fat ass? One thing's for certain, I bet the winner's name will end in 'wen.'" He chuckled, but no one else was laughing. "...You guys have no sense of humour. Alright, I'm gone. Catch ya later, losers!" With that, he left the resort.

"...Is that guy for real?" Bridgette asked, and no one bothered to answer.

-X-

That night, I had a hard time sleeping. Tomorrow, the girl of my dreams will be one challenge away from one hundred thousand Canadian dollars. Not that I expected her to share any of it with me, but this was exciting! I could finally show her that I'm rooting for her, that I still care for her and want her to win it all. She truly deserved it, I believed. Sure, Owen was a nice guy, but I had a feeling he wouldn't be so willing to put any thought in what he was going to do with the money. Hell, he'd probably blow it all on some stupid party.

Now starring in a theatre near you, it's the Return of the Dream. Of course, I knew this would come back sooner or later. But wait! There was yet another catch.

"Campers, this is the last marshmallow ceremony. Gwen, Cody, one of you will win Total Drama Island. The loser will go down as the biggest, most embarrassed loser in history. I mean, seriously, after all this time, all the crap you two went through, for one of you to lose, it'd just be so incredibly horrible." He laughed. "And one of you will have to deal with this humiliation for the rest of your poor, miserable lives! Congratulations!"

"Just get the damn ceremony over with, Chris," I said, folding my arms.

Gwen smiled. "Looks like a little bit of me rubbed off on you this past season."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked, smirking at my dream girl.

"No," she said, sharing the smirk.

"Uh, the winner of Total Drama Island is..." Chris held out the marshmallow, and called out the name of the winner: "GWEN!"

I grinned and nodded, holding out my hand. "Congratulations, Gwen. If there was anyone that was going to win this contest, I'm glad it was you."

Gwen wrapped her arms around me, amidst the cheers of the others. "Thanks, little buddy."

I returned the hug, resting my head on her shoulder. "You're certainly welcome."

"And so, on behalf of TDI, I present to you the check for $100,000!" Chris exclaimed, holding out a large cardboard check to Gwen, who gladly accepted it. "What are you gonna do now?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Better yet, I'll show you." She turned to me and spun me around. When I finished spinning, I realized I was wearing a tuxedo. The world around us suddenly became black, with a spotlight on me. No sign of anyone anymore, even Gwen. But she would soon appear, clad only in her underwear--yep, the strapless black bra and the purple panties with the pink skull--and a black rose in her teeth (you know, like those romantic Latino dancers with red roses, but I digress). She walked up to me, swaying those lovely hips, slowly blinking her eyes as she leaned against me, hands on my chest. I put my hands on her hips, making sure not to move them too low, despite really freaking wanting to.

She began to sway again in a little dance, my hands forced to follow her movements. Not that they were complaining.

Soon, the rest of me was moving, and she was getting closer. If it wasn't a dream, I would've pinched myself. There was no way this would ever happen. And as that fact floated through my mind, I frowned.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked, pressing herself against me.

I tried to hide my blush. "Uh, um, I just..." I sighed. "I'm just sad. This... wouldn't happen... in real life." I lowered my head, saddened.

She lifted my head with her hand, and my teal eyes met her beautiful dark eyes. "All the more reason to treasure this moment, right?"

"I-I guess so," I said, no longer trying to hide my blush. It was too deep to hide at this point.

"Cody," she said, a more serious look on her face. I winced, worried that whatever she might say might hurt me. "I just want you to know that even though I don't feel the same about you as you do for me, you're still my little buddy, and I still care about you, okay?" She ran a hand through my hair. "And quit selling yourself short. Do you really think I was feeling bad about voting you off because I could've gotten rid of Heather?"

"The... thought had crossed my mind," I admitted, though I wasn't sure why. I mean, I wasn't actually talking to her.

She sighed, letting the rose (which somehow miraculously stayed in her mouth the entire time) fall to the floor. A blanket magically appeared out of nowhere, and she wrapped herself with it, covering herself up. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry." She walked away.

"Whoa, wait, wait!" I cried, outreaching my hand, but she had stepped out of the spotlight. "Gwen! I didn't mean--c-come back! Please!"

Nothing.

I was alone now.

I always was.

-X-

I woke up on a sombre note. I missed the happy endings these dreams used to have. Why did they always have to suck now?

Still, that image of Gwen in her underwear, and that black rose in her teeth...

...

I checked the blankets. Okay, good. No need to do laundry today.

-X-

When I got ready and met with the others downstairs, I was met with a somewhat small surprise. "Hey, Zeke, where's your bling?"

Ezekiel, now clad in his normal hoodie and jeans, simply frowned. "Nothing I was doin' was woorkin', eh. I guess I'm just noot good enoof fur her."

"Dude, don't beat yourself up over it."

"I knoo, I knoo. But she's just soo pretty, eh." He sighed. "Boot I knoo better. It ain't gonna happen. Boot I hoop I can befriend her, eh." He smiled. "Noot shoor if she'll go fur it, boot it'd be woorth a shot, right? ...That's the phrase, right?"

"Y-Yeah." I swear, it's like staring at a reflection. All I need is a toque.

"Campers!" Chris called out. "Today's the big day! The moment you've all been waiting for, yes! It's the finale of Total Drama Island!"

"The only reason I've been waiting for it," Duncan said, "is 'cause I want to get the hell out of Muskoka!

"In due time, mi amigo, but for now you're coming with me." He looked around, a little peeved. "Where's Heather?"

"She wasn't in her room this morning," Harold said, voicing a little concern.

"...Oh well." Chris obviously didn't care. "I'm sure she'll turn up. In the meantime, we've got somewhere to be. As we speak, Owen and Gwen are sharing to the world why they think they should win the one hundred grand. There will be two sets of bleachers set up. You will be sitting on the bleachers that represent who you feel should win Total Drama Island. Which 'wen' will win? Or, should I say, which one will 'wen'?" He chuckled, but again no one else laughed. He frowned. "Come on, this is A-material, guys!" He groaned. "Whatever, you guys suck. Let's go."

-X-

You're probably wondering how we all were able to fit on the Boat of Losers. Heh heh, well... LOOK, A DISTRACTION! ...Nah, kidding. We took one of those small yachts we arrived on when we first got here.

"It's time for the grand finale!" Chris sang. "It's the moment we've all been waiting fooooor."

"Uh, why are you shinging, Chrish?" Beth asked.

"Shut up, kid. You're ruining my moment," he mumbled before continuing his singing. "Only one will survive, but who will it be? Who will win the whole shebang and mooooore?"

"...Seriously, why?" Justin asked.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Okay, look. I have this thing for musicals. I'm trying to pitch an idea to the producers, but so far I haven't been given the green light. I was thinking maybe of doing it with a later season of this show. What do you think?"

"I feel sorry for those suckers," Noah said, smirking.

"Who would want to sign up for this show after seeing this season?" Duncan asked. "After all the stuff you put us through, I'd be surprised anyone else would want to be a part of it."

"Oh, I know," he chuckled. "I know." He resumed his singing: "This is the final stride, it's time to do or die, and someone will have to say goodbyyyye to any chances of winning one hundred grand. But first this is one final task at hand, and it is one last hoorah--one last dance, who will win? Will it be Gwen? Or perhaps Owen? Only time will teeellllllll... when we will see who will be the one to survive from this heeellllllll...! Thank you! You're too kind!"

Several campers pulled their fingers out of their ears. "Is it over?" Tyler asked, horrified.

-X-

Once we reached the island, we were greeted by... guess who.

"Ah, see, I told you she'd turn up," Chris said nonchalantly, while I gave her a wary look. Something wasn't right. Why was she here? "By the way, nice look, Heather."

"Why thank you, Chris," Heather said sarcastically through clenched teeth. I let out a chuckle.

"I'm going to meet up with our two survivors," Chris told us. "You guys form a single-file line and head for this clearing in the woods." He handed Ezekiel a map and compass. "Don't worry, it's not too far from the campgrounds. And it should be easy to find--the bleachers are already set up. And I should know. Chef complained about setting them up all night." He shook his head. "If he keeps this up, I'll stop sending him a paycheck. He'll be just like Milton from Office Space." He tapped his chin in thought. "I wonder if Owen can do a good Milton impression..."

"Just get the damn survivors," Noah muttered.

"Geesh! You kids and your impatience. I feel sorry for your parents. Anyway, when you get to the clearing, wait for my cue before you do anything. Any questions? No? Good." He walked away.

"...Oom, soo, okay, guys, follow me, I guess," Ezekiel said, holding up the map and compass as he led the rest of us to the clearing.

-X-

Once we reached the clearing, we formed a single-file line like Chris said, and we waited for Chris to give us our signal.

I looked past the line and saw them: the two finalists. Owen, my big ol' buddy--if there was anyone else you'd be facing here today, I'd be rooting for you, man--and Gwen, my dream girl. I took a deep breath. This was the first time in five weeks that I was in the same vicinity as her. The last time I was even graced by her presence, I was bound to a wheelchair and bandaged up like a mummy. The feeling was surreal. For some reason, I wanted to shout with joy, but my body wasn't allowing me. Stay calm, Cody. Keep a low profile. Worship her silently.

"And now, it's time to welcome the twenty campers who did not make it to the finals," Chris announced, and Ezekiel walked forward. We followed suit.

"Hey, guys!" Owen greeted. "Ooh-hoo-hoo! Good to see ya!"

Gwen hadn't greeted us--she simply blushed. A little nerve-racked. I couldn't tell, though, if it was because of me or because of the guy in front of me... but I'd put my money on the guy in front of me.

Chris spoke up again. "Would everyone who's walked the Dock of Shame and left camp on the Boat of Losers kindly take a seat in the peanut gallery of failure?"

"Would you kindly?" I joked to Trent as we went to sit on the bleachers, but he didn't seem to get the joke. [2]

Chris continued as we sat down. "The side you choose should represent who you would like to cheer on to victory in today's final competition." Of course, I was on the set of bleachers representing Gwen, along with Trent, Leshawna, Bridgette, Eva, DJ, Sadie, Katie, Lindsay, and Justin. On the other set of bleachers were Noah, Harold, Duncan, Courtney, Beth, Izzy, Geoff, Tyler, Ezekiel... and Heather. The last one should be of no surprise.

"Nice rug," Gwen commented.

"Oh, bite me." It appeared Izzy was about to do just that, but Heather stopped her. "Stop touching my hair, crazy girl." The queen bee turned back to the finalists, smiling deviously. Gwen and Owen began to talk, but I couldn't quite get what they were saying.

"Gwen, Owen," Chris got their attentions, "this is your chance to tell the peanut gallery of failure what you would do with the money if you won, and why you deserve it."

Gwen went first. "Well, I guess I'm pretty proud of getting this far," she admitted. "I mean, maybe if I can survive here, the rest of high school won't be so bad."

Izzy cackled, but caught herself, allowing Gwen to continue.

"Well, I'm always good for my word, and I did promise to split my hundred grand with Owen, but that would still leave me with a ton of cash. I guess I'd go traveling and then to university to study art history."

"WHOO!" Leshawna cheered behind me. "Yeah, that's it! Girlfriend's got some goals!"

"Very cool," Trent added.

I stayed silent, but on the inside I was really hoping she would win. What could Owen possibly due with the money that would make him deserve it more?

"Wow," Chris said. "That's really sweet. Boring, but sweet. Owen?"

Owen didn't hesitate to answer. "I'd throw the biggest, hugest, sickest party ever and invite everyone here! BOO-YAH!"

The group on Owen's side began to cheer, and I shook my head. Oh, yeah. I definitely hoped Gwen would win now.

...Wait.

Where are you guys going?

...

You're kidding me.

Sadie?

Katie?

Bridgette?

DJ?

Justin?

...Okay, wait, I can see Justin selling out, but... seriously, Bridgette?!

"At least not all of you are total sell-outs," Gwen said. I could only imagine she was a little ticked.

"Oh-ho! Oh!" Owen wasn't quite finished. "And I forgot! It'll be on a yacht!"

Lindsay slowly made her way over to Owen's side. Great.

Once everyone was settled, Chris began to explain the final challenge: the Rejected Olympic Relay Race. Gwen and Owen, wearing a chicken hat and cow hat respectively, would have to shimmy up a flagpole and retrieve a flag (a staple for final races, if TDA was any indication), cross a board over shark-infested waters carrying an eagle egg, and a long-distance run back to the starting point. Oh joy.

"Good luck, Owen," Gwen said as they put on their hats. "If I had to lose to anyone here, it'd be you."

"Aw, that's so nice!" Owen said, smiling. "I hope you lose to me, too!"

"YEAH!! GO OWEN!!" Geoff cheered. "WE WANT TO PARTY!!"

"You're gonna get one!" Owen called back, and his supporters cheered excitedly.

"Go, Gwen!" I heard Leshawna call behind me. "Kick his butt, girl!"

"You can do it, Gwen!" Trent cheered behind me. "Come on, Gwen! You got this!"

I didn't hear Eva cheer anything, but maybe she wanted to be a silent supporter. Like me. Like I said, I wanted to keep a low profile. I didn't want to distract her or anything.

"On your mark," Chris began, and the finalists made their starting stances, "get set, GO!"

And then they were off...

-X-

[1] Kefka Palazzo is the ultimate antagonist of Final Fantasy VI. Depicted as a "Joker-like" villain, he is a demented, clownish court mage with a love for destruction, death, and chaos. By the end of the game, he becomes a god-like nihilist... a very bad combination if you like living.

[2] A reference to the videogame BioShock.