Wildcard- AU:

Parker was crying… again. It seemed as though the eight year old could do nothing but cry lately. It was almost as if the floodgates burst open and she finally realized what kind of life she had never had before she found them. They were fine before all of these emotions got in the way. First they were conning Parker into accepting them as a family. Then they conned him into sobriety. Now, this… mess!

It was all Sophie's fault.

She was the one who encouraged the girl to embrace childhood. She took the girl to school, taught her how to dress appropriately. She even taught the kid how to lie. That was probably what unnerved Nate the most. Sophie Devereaux, the notorious European grifter, taught an eight year how to lie. And how to lie well on top of that.

Now how was he supposed to tell her no every time she asked to do something dangerous?

"May I please jump off a bridge, Nate?"

"No!"

Then she's sticking her little lips out and pouting those big blue-grey eyes and batting her lashes just so.

"Okay, but don't die."

It just wasn't fair.

But now, now this was serious!

It all started a couple of weeks ago when Nate got called in to visit Parker's school. He dragged the grifter along because it was her idea to send the lithe blonde to school in the first place. Plus, Sophie was the one who dealt with the school things. He couldn't really handle that after… well, after Sam. He didn't really understand why he was being called in by the school. Sophie only listed him as the parent/guardian. Sophie was the one who took care of her and everything.

She even listed herself as the damn nanny.

So anyway, they were called into the school. Everything was going all fine and dandy. She was doing fine in all of her classes. Her grades were top notch, the best in her class. Nate couldn't help but feel proud. He also laughed out loud when math seemed to be so easy for Parker that she skipped ahead two grades in that class alone. Sophie beamed with pride when they were told the girl had a gift for art. The grifter spent weeks, days, months, nurturing Parker's natural gift for drawing. She had a smug look on her face and her eyes crinkled happily at Parker's fantastic drawing of their family.

The picture was perfect. There was a house that actually looked like an architectured drawing of a house. Then there was little Parker with only a little less detail, and a huge smile on her face. Eliot and Hardison were off to the side, bickering like usual. Obviously that wasn't too worrying considering they were wearing big smiles and holding cake, a cutting knife, orange soda and a package of gummy frogs respectively. Nate was standing beside Parker, his hand on the top of her smiling little head. He was holding a bottle of alcohol and pouring it on the ground. Sophie was beside him smiling and waving to everyone. She was holding Parker's hand. Over everyone was their name, Nate's had Dad attached to it. But it was the grifter's title that seemed to be different. Beside her name was a giant question mark.

It turns out that was the source of their problems.

"Mr. Ford, the students were asked to draw a picture of their family today," Mrs. Grady said.

Mrs. Grady was Parker's principal. She had a face that was always in a pout, her nose looked partially chewed off. Her eyebrows were ridiculously bushy, giving one the impression of a squirrel every time you saw her. Her glasses were ten times too thick and magnified her eyes into giant brown globes. Those giant brown globes were currently sizing him up as unworthy of being a father of a bright and talented little blonde pixie.

She was obviously wrong.

"As you can see here," she said, "There seems to be some confusion on what family is to Parker."

He replied the only way he knew how, condescendingly. "I don't see the confusion."

"Mr. Ford," Grady rolled her eyes at him, "Parker has labeled your nanny with a question mark. That is a very serious problem."

"How so?" Damn, Sophie was actually taking the woman seriously. He was never going to get any peace now. The situation needed to be handled immediately or the grifter would pester him to death.

"Parker is clearly conflicted with her feelings towards Ms. Devereaux," Grady explained, "Thus the question mark. I notice there is no mother in her life. At least that is what her drawing suggests. Plus, Ms. Devereaux is drawn by your side Mr. Ford and you are very clearly the father figure. Eliot and Hardison arguing implies brothers or partners who are constantly influencing her thoughts. Their duties are very clear though. They are favored uncles and brothers all in one go. Mr. Ford is there any possible Mrs. Ford in the future that Parker might look up to."

"She's met Maggie," Nate shrugged. What else could he do? Sophie was looking at him like she would answer truthfully if he didn't. "Maggie's my ex-wife. Parker called her cool and told me point blank that I really screwed that one up."

"Then she demanded to know when was the next time we get to see her," Sophie agreed, "but she didn't draw Maggie. That's strange."

"Oh!" That was Mrs. Ellsworth, Parker's teacher. She was always super cheery and in a happy mood. Parker hated her for it. The woman was constantly fretting with Parker. Nate had a theory it was because the woman was constantly demanding to know about her home life. Sophie suggested it was because she was the same age as him and single, whatever.

"The assignment was to draw immediate family," she said, "Parker asked me if immediate family including Daddy's ex-wife who she described as an aunt. I told her no and she nodded her head and drew this. Apparently Hardison and Eliot are her big brothers. They told her so she said."

Well that explained that.

"So this entire meeting is about my personal life and my daughter's relationship with our… nanny." Yep, he still hated the way that sounded. Sophie wasn't Parker's nanny. If anything, Sophie was the real parent. She took care of Parker and did everything but feed her. She was the one Parker allowed to assist during bath time. She was also the only one allowed to tuck her in at night. The little frog would crawl out of bed and find her way into Nate's every night, but only Sophie was allowed to tuck her in.

Sophie wasn't the nanny. If anything, he was.

"This is a meeting about the stability of your daughter's home," Mrs. Grady said, "This confusion about Ms. Devereaux's true status is very unsettling. She is very clearly hiding something and refusing to allow those feelings to bloom and grow."

"It's the building blocks to a bigger problem down the road," Ellsworth chimed in, "She could have serious identity issues and…"

Nate stopped listening after that. Parker wasn't going to have identity issues because she couldn't quite figure out who the grifter was supposed to be. The girl was an orphan. They always had identity issues. It wasn't anything about their parents' failures either. Orphans usually can't understand why their birth parents abandoned them, if they even abandoned them. Your history is pretty much wiped clean. Parker didn't seem to want that history though.

The girl was far more interested in her family's history. She wanted to know if Sophie really was British. She wanted to know what it meant to Nate to be Irish. She even asked Hardison once if it would be okay to share his heritage with her or if she would have to make up her own. If she wanted answers about her birth parents, they had a hacker to find them for her. She knew she was adopted and didn't care. She liked the people she found. She wasn't going to have identity issues down the road. They would be there to give her an identity she could be proud of.

"Are you kidding me?"

That tone definitely brought the mastermind back to the conversation. Whatever Mrs. Ellsworth said pissed Sophie off. Her brown eyes were blazing black and she looked on the verge of killing the woman. It was enough to make Parker cringe into a little corner on her stool too.

"You think Parker's home life has something to do with her social skills!" Sophie was shrieking now. Maybe he should have paid more attention to the conversation. "Parker does not have bad social skills! I know, I take her to the park all the time. That girl does not have poor social skills!"

Parker was making herself very small. Nate almost forgot she was present for the meeting. Why the stupid people decided putting a seven year old through this torture was beyond him. The girl was obviously frightened by what her teacher and principal were saying. Her big blue grey eyes were staring at him, pleading with him to make it all stop. Then Mrs. Grady dared to attack Sophie.

"She tried to stab Frank Jacobs for commenting on her picture today," she said, "Clearly the girl needs some serious attention she isn't getting at home."

"Sophie's awesome!" Parker shouted. Great, now she was standing on top of the chair and jumping up and down. She knew that wasn't what you were supposed to do. She was just doing it because they were attacking her favorite grifter. "Tara would let me eat tons of sugar and never made me go to bed. She wouldn't read me stories either!"

Mrs. Grady wouldn't understand what the tiny thing meant. Sophie needed a break after the first few months. She wasn't used to being needed so much and she certainly didn't know who she was anymore. She sent Tara mostly for Parker's sake. She knew the other grifter wouldn't be the motherly type. But Parker needed proof that her view of the world was skewed and somebody whose view was almost as skewed seemed to do the trick.

Tara's presence started off as nothing but a shunning of Parker's trust. She hated the woman and battled her every moment of the day. She actually refused to eat until Sophie returned. Nate had to call the brunette just to convince Parker that Sophie was coming back, she just needed time. Then the friendship started and all hell broke loose. They were still dealing with the fallout.

Sophie returned and Parker became a different person. She was constantly obedient. She didn't even raise her voice in agony of anything. At least, that was the report he got from Eliot and Hardison during his stint in prison. Thank goodness Mrs. Grady didn't know about that one.

"Clearly the girl is confused," Ms. Ellsworth said, "She can't even remember the name of her nanny. I've recommended for Parker to take remedial classes to help improve her social skills!"

"Remedial classes!" Sophie sounded just as outraged as Nate felt. Remedial classes. Their girl didn't need to be in remedial classes. "Just because she can't stand all of the snot-nosed brats in her class."

"Now, Ms. Devereaux that is really out of line," Mrs. Grady said, "Mr. Ford please tell your nanny to apologize."

Like that was going to happen.

"I will not apologize," Sophie snarled. Parker suddenly appeared by her side and the child was clinging to her to show her support. She only stopped when Nate pulled her towards him. Sophie looked like she needed her arms to deliver a blow. He was not going to deal with the tears should she accidentally get Parker in the crossfire. "It seems to me Mrs. Grady that you do not know how to properly run your school. Clearly Parker will be floundering here. We'll take her somewhere else, somewhere that knows how to treat a child of her intelligence and charm."

Then she swung herself around and held out her hand. Parker took it without a second thought. Then she guiltily looked towards Nate for permission to go as the grifter started to go. Nate gave her a wink and smiled in pride of his girls. A tiny cough interrupted his thoughts.

"Clearly your nanny is also having some confusion in her part of Parker's life," Grady said, "Mr. Ford, please understand that this is not to punish the girl. We only want her to excel-"

"You heard Sophie," Nate replied. He really loved putting people in their place after Sophie finished them off. "Parker will not be attending this school any longer."

"But Mr. Ford," Ms. Ellsworth actually sounded heartbroken. Oh well.

"But nothing," he hissed. He even made certain to show just what he thought about them with the next words he spoke. "If you can't see Parker's potential, then you are merely wasting our time. I'll take her somewhere more appropriate to her needs. Clearly your academics are not enough."

He could hear them both sputtering away as he left the office. He wanted to laugh but felt it inappropriate. Parker was going to think she was in trouble. That reminded him.

%%%%

Sophie was still fuming during their long car ride home. Parker was sitting solemnly in the backseat, not saying a word. Even when she entered the apartment she ignored Eliot and his freshly baked brownies. She just sat down on the couch and waited for the news to be spread. She didn't even look away from the six television screens that held footage of her school principal and teacher. Sophie noticed this and immediately the fire began to burn again.

"They said she was antisocial right in front of the girl's face!" she growled, "I ought to go back and give them a proper piece of my mind. I don't care who you are, you do not tell a child they are defective right in front of their face! That's just rude!"

"But I'm not defective," Parker frowned.

It was the first time she spoke since defending Sophie. She was staring at the mastermind with her big blue-grey eyes again. She was looking for reassurance. And proof that she finally belonged.

"Of course you're not," Sophie even rolled her eyes at the question. She acted as if it was completely insane for anybody to believe the precious little blonde could be anything but perfect. Then she ruffled her hair and tickled her for good measure. Eliot rolled his eyes and Hardison smiled. Nate ignored them both and tried to place the emotions in his chest.

"I told you they were too posh for my liking, Nate."

No, she didn't. She did her research and even bought Hardison for a few weeks to declare that school the best for Parker. She interviewed them rigorously before even considering them in the top three. She was right. They had the best scores in the city. But they didn't know what kind of a treasure Parker was. If they had they wouldn't have called her defective.

"I've got a list of Dean's you can talk to about Parker's education," Hardison said. He even pushed a few buttons and displayed their identifications on the screens. Parker giggled and clapped in amazement.

"I don't understand how a little confusion on the influences in her life can cause social disorders," Sophie growled, "What kind of school were they running? Parker's social anxiety has nothing to do with how she perceives me."

"And when they said you weren't her mother and didn't have a vote… ooh," Hardison was beside himself joy, "I totally thought you were gonna cuff her on the head."

"I wasn't in on coms like geekboy over there," Eliot replied, "But I wish I could have seen the look on Ms. Ellsworth's face when you…"

"Are you my mommy?"

Parker's tiny voice stopped the hitter in his tracks. In fact, it stopped everyone. All eyes turned towards her and she flinched at the attention. But she was standing her ground just like Sophie taught her. The little seven year old kept her chin raised and her eyes on her mark. Her mark on the other hand was a deer caught in the headlights and the grifter didn't look like she'd be moving anytime soon.

"What?" She finally asked.

This time Parker's confidence seemed to shatter under the pressure. She averted her eyes and stared at the preppy school skirt she had to wear every day. Nate couldn't help but recall that Sophie said it would be the first to go during her rant. But Parker said she wanted to keep the shoes and the grifter agreed immediately and said the headband could stay too. Her eyes twinkled when she noticed the tiny blonde perk up in the backseat.

"Are you my mommy?" She asked to the floor.

Nobody moved to answer her question. The grifter should have had something to say but she was stunned speechless. The mastermind could just make out tiny tears developing in her eyes. She looked so unsettled by Parker's question she couldn't move at all. She was barely breathing. Hardison and Eliot were just as speechless. Their eyes were darting between the two girls in horror of what the answer could be.

"Do you want her to be?"

Nate knew he was dead the moment those words slipped out. Parker's hopeful eyes flew to his and joy and confusion flittered across her face. Eliot and Hardison stared at him wide-eyed. They were frightened the grifter would kill him too. At least Sophie's brown eyes were no longer staring at Parker. Now they were glued to him in search of an answer. He was going to give her the best one he had.

"If you want her to be your mother, Parker, all you have to do is say the word." He wasn't going to tell her that she could have whatever she wanted. He didn't think that was right. That rule didn't just apply to her either.

"What?" Now Sophie found her voice. The grifter still stood in the middle of the apartment. Her dark eyes were still boring into his. But her hand had found its way to her mouth and the other found its way to her hip.

"Do you want her to be your mommy, Parker?"

The little girl's face had never appeared brighter. She was beaming with light the very moment she smiled. Her blue-grey eyes sparkled and she was vibrating with energy. Her tiny teeth were actually visible for once and she had Hardison scared for his life the way she was bouncing on the couch. She catapulted off the furniture, making the mastermind's heart stop for a moment. Then she barreled into his legs and hugged him tight.

"Yes, please," she said sounding so confident and sure of everything in the world.

"No!" Sophie screamed. She sounded so upset. The mastermind could almost detect the strangest hint of panic glistening in her eyes. She threw her arms down and shook her head. Then she moved towards Parker in a dead panic. Her hands latched onto the tiny girl and her head continued to shake.

"That's not how it works, Parker. Nate has no right to say that it does."

The mastermind didn't even have to look at the boys to get his message across. Eliot and Hardison were already coming up with excuses to get the little thief out of there as quickly as possible. They tried tugging Parker away from the grifter's grasp and failed miserably. She looked more than willing to kill them if they so much as suggested a separation at the moment. So Hardison grinned and Eliot looked to the mastermind for an answer.

"Let her stay," he said.

Sophie waited until the boys were gone before she started the argument. Even then she kept it as civil as possible. Her brown eyes were locked on the blond child and she wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize her view of an appropriate relationship. Of course, appropriate was just a matter of opinion anyway.

"Nate," she began.

"She needs a mother, Sophie," he growled. He was so sick of this dance. Ever since Parker came into their lives, their relationship changed completely. The feelings increased without them even noticing. It was about time they acknowledged that the girl had a point. "She chose you."

"She didn't choose any of us!" She shot a quick look in the kid's direction and her tone lowered dramatically. "Archie just handed her off."

Nate remembered the day perfectly. Sophie's old friend, a man who was almost old enough to be her father, just showed up out of the blue. He'd gotten into a mess he couldn't get himself out of. He somehow managed to get Parker into trouble as well. The then four year old could already out steal some of the best. She even stole Nate's wallet just to prove how good she was. She was more than eager to please.

"I'm leaving her to you, Soph," Archie cried. He pushed the girl into the grifter's arms and refused to look at her. He flinched when she begged him not to go. "The heat's too high right now. I'll come back for her when I can. Please, you're the best grifter I know. She's my legacy. Teach her everything you know. I know you'll do what's best for her."

Sophie didn't even argue with the man. Nate did. He insisted that the girl needed to be raised by parents who could give her everything she asked for and more. Thieves were the absolute worst people in the world to raise her. Sophie put her hand on his shoulder and picked the precious angel up. She nodded her head and promised to never let her go.

"We're even," she said.

Now, Nate still wondered what was worth such a burden. Caring for a child was never easy. All parents said that. But since Parker came into their lives everyone had only increased in being the best. They even formed a family because of her. The mastermind was dead certain even death wouldn't stop the grifter from being there for the girl. It was how he came to this very conclusion.

"Parker, what does a mother do?" He asked, smiling all the while.

"Don't you dare pull her into this!" Sophie growled, "This is between you and me, Ford!"

Parker flinched and glared at the mastermind. She was pulling her typical how could you anger my Sophie? face. The girl was wrapped around the grifter's little finger, and the woman had no clue. She was currently placing her little arms on her tiny hips the exact way Sophie was. She was an almost mirror image of the woman she took to so easily.

Yet he was the one listed as her parent and guardian.

"You were the one who said I had to be the father," he said, "You told me I was the only one who knew how to take care of a kid. You said I knew what would be best for her."

"Yes and you've always hung that over my head! Parker is a child, Nate. You can't just drag her into a fight anytime you want. She doesn't need this. She needs-"

"A mother," Nate agreed, "but she's already got one. She knows it just as I do just as Hardison and Eliot do. Why can't you see that?"

"It can't be me, Nate."

"Why not?"

Parker's little voice penetrated their argument as it always did, as it always would. She was staring at the grifter, crestfallen. She was too young to understand what argument was in the grifter's head. She probably thought it was her fault, that she was the reason Sophie didn't want to be her mommy. It was just the opposite and he knew it. The grifter didn't think she deserved such a title.

Sophie pulled the girl into her side and smiled. Then she gently bumped her forefinger on Parker's nose and explained herself. "I'm not mummy material," even now Parker still giggled anytime the grifter said mommy the British way, "Mummies are supposed to take their daughters to the park to play. They're supposed to bake cookies all day and do interesting things. They're supposed to teach their little girls the difference between right and wrong. They are not supposed to break the law."

"Nate breaks the law and he's still my daddy." She had a point and Parker knew it. She was looking a little too smug and sure of herself as she stared into the grifter's brown eyes. Nate couldn't help but notice that smug look was one his father wore when he was younger. There was only one way that child could have ever learned that facial expression.

"Nate still knows the difference between right and wrong," Sophie smiled. She noticed the smile as well. "And he's teaching you how to tell the difference as well. Remember when Suzy Thomas was calling Peggy ugly?" The little girl nodded so she continued with a little wink. "Well, you knew that was wrong and what did you do?"

"I stole Suzy's lunch money and gave it to Peggy and she bought ice cream with it." Parker cheered, "But Nate said I should have told a teacher instead of taking care of it all by myself."

"Exactly," Sophie nodded, "I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. I thought you punished Suzy exactly as you were supposed to. You see, Parker, I'd be absolute rubbish at being your mother."

"But you taught me that stabbing people with forks was wrong," Parker explained, "And that boys like dresses and sometimes it's okay not to like people but it's not okay to hit them. I have to be nice to them anyway because I could want something from them in the future. And Nate says I act more like you every day and I don't want another mother! I want you."

"You've already taken up that position, Soph," Nate said, "Don't argue with her. She's just as stubborn as you."

"She gets it from you," Sophie purred automatically. Then her hands clasped against her mouth and her eyes grew fearfully wide. Her brown eyes met his and a new understanding dawned.

"She'll be confused," she said, "She won't understand."

"Parker, it's time to go upstairs," he replied.

The little blonde girl opened her mouth with every intention to argue, something she got from both of her parents apparently. Yet she managed to close her little lips and turned around to leave without any incident. She only looked back once, her gaze questioning. He knew what she was asking. He just hoped he would be able to answer it in the morning.

"We can't," Sophie said the very moment Parker was out of earshot, "She'll get confused. She'll start thinking that this means we're together. We can't be together. We've still got that bloody Latimer business to think about, Nate."

He picked that moment to kiss her. He expected her to push against him and slap him repeatedly. He was not expecting her tongue in his mouth. He definitely liked this outcome better. They'd been dancing around each other far longer than they would have had a child not been in their lives. San Lorenzo had been a close call. Parker got sick and Maggie's cell phone call was perfectly placed to ruin the moment. Now, there was nothing stopping them.

Nothing except the little girl cheering at the top of the steps.

"This means she's my mommy, right?" Parker cheered, "She's going to tuck me in and read me bedtime stories like all of the other kids' mommies?"

Sophie hid her smile in his shoulder. He couldn't. He just gave the girl a wink and pressed a finger to his lips. Then he motioned for her to come towards him. She did so, but slowly. She was still wary about being turned down for a second time.

"She'll always be your mommy," he said, "but…"

"But mummy and daddy may not always be together!" Sophie finished.

Parker grinned from ear to ear and hugged them both tightly.

"That's okay," she said, "That means twice the amount of presents on Christmas!"

How could you argue with that logic?

Now though, this was cruel.
"I want my mommy!" Parker cried, she was clinging to his little leg and putting on a show for the ages.
Nate wanted to kill her.
"Parker, you don't need mommy," he tried. Of course, she refused to be swayed.
"But he's so scary."
Well, she was meeting his father for the very first time. They had kept the old man away from Parker the last time they met. Nate didn't want him anywhere near his little girl. That had been the only thing Sophie could agree on during that entire con. She and Parker had a week long sleep over and bashed school. Now though, now Parker was doing this simply for attention.
"Parker, he's my dad. Of course he's scary."
He probably shouldn't have gone with the humor there. Parker was now in his lap and burying her face into his shirt. She was causing a seen.
"You better call that girl's mother, Nathan." His father was so helpful. "She looks like she needs a nap."
"I don't like naps," Parker growled. Now she was eyeing his father like a piece of meat. Nate decided taking away the fork was a good idea.
Honestly this meeting wasn't supposed to happen. Parker had been playing in her favorite booth, with Hardy, and having a fantastic time. Nate only left the bar for a few minutes to use the bathroom. He didn't even take that long. He just walked back into the bar and saw his father talking to his little thief. He'd never moved so fast in his life. He regretted it the very moment she burst into tears.
The other patrons in the bar were starting to get annoyed. They were used to Parker's tantrums. The girl never liked Nate's orders to leave and she made a big display to show it. Those never lasted for long periods of time though. This was one for the record books.
"Parker, stop this," he tried, "He's not going to bite or anything."
"I want mommy!" That one was more insistent. She was an evil little brat when she wanted to be.
As if on cue, the grifter appeared in the backdoor entrance. Her brown eyes immediately looked for the source of the sniffles. Nate could tell she was very unhappy when she realized who was in the seat across from him and her Parker. She walked right on over and scooped the little girl into her arms. Parker stopped crying immediately. She knew Sophie wouldn't put up with it.
"Hi, mommy," Parker called, "Daddy met a stranger. He says he's my Granddaddy. Do you want to meet my Granddaddy, Mommy?"
Oh, that was her plan.