Allison's Nightmare 49: Broken Open
At twelve thirty in the morning, I was still up. My mind was racing. I couldn't stop thinking about what Drake had said to me. I could remember every word that he had said to me.
"I love you, Al. And I'm sorry. You… you mean the world to me. I know we haven't really been friends all that long, but you really do mean a lot to me."
But then why had he left earlier? And why had he said that he hates me? I was so confused. Did Drake love me or hate me? I really had no idea now.
Then, I started to cry. Big shocker here.
But, I kept going. And going. Okay, really? I just couldn't stop crying. I was going to end up waking somebody up. And then I would have to explain everything. I really wasn't up to doing that.
For the next fifteen minutes, that was all that I did. Cry. Hard. I hadn't ever cried this hard or this long before. Not even when I was a baby. I just couldn't stop.
There was a knock on my door. So I guess that I had woken someone up. My bad.
"Allie?" Drake asked me.
I did the only thing that I could think of. I tried to stay as quiet as I could so maybe he would think that I was asleep. And that wasn't going very well as I couldn't stop crying.
"Allison, I know that you are in there. I can hear you. I'm not deaf, you know." Drake announced.
Okay, so he obviously wasn't going to go away any time soon.
"Go away, Drake!" I shouted at him. "I don't want your help."
He sighed and opened my bedroom door. He walked in and sat next to me on my bed. I turned over onto my stomach so that I didn't have to look at him.
"What's going on, Allie?" he asked me, rubbing my back as I continued to cry. "Allison, please talk to me. I'm worried sick about you."
"Go. Away," I said. I didn't know how well he could hear me, as my head was shoved into my pillow, which was really starting to suffocate me.
Drake pulled me up as I was having a difficult time breathing.
"You are going to choke to death, Al," he said, pulling me onto him. "Try and breathe."
"I- I- I can't," I chocked out as I managed to regain my breath.
Drake hugged me. "What's wrong? You can trust me, Al."
"Everything!" I yelled. "Everything is wrong, okay!"
Despite the fact that I was yelling at him, he stayed calm. He really is the perfect guy. He's perfect. Everything about him.
"Tell me, Allie. I can help you. With whatever it is that you need help with," he replied. Drake pulled me onto him and buried my head into his shoulder, and tried not to cry. I was in love with this guy. The most perfect, caring guy in the world. "You can tell me anything. I want you to know that."
"Fine," I sighed. I sat up, leaning against the wall that my bed was next to. Drake sat next to me. "Where do you wanna start?"
"At the beginning," Drake said.
"Okay. Fine. When I was ten years old-"
"Really, Allison?"
"You said the beginning, Drakeie. My life got screwed up when I was ten years old," I replied.
"Let's start with the past week," he replied.
"Okay, well it started with you saying things that I already know are true, Drake. Everything that you said this weekend after the… incident with me and Andrew… I already know that everything that you said is true,"
"Wh… oh…" he was silent for a while. "Nothing that I said was true, Allison. When I get mad, I say a lot of things that I don't mean. We both do."
"No, Drake," I said in tears. "Everything that you said is true, weather you want to believe it or not, okay!"
I started to cry some more.
"Why would you think that?" he asked me.
"Drake, you don't know what I've been through emotionally and everything that goes on at school," I replied.
"Then tell me!"
"I… I don't know, Drakeie."
"Please," he begged. "I want to help you with all of this."
I sighed. "All of the things that you said over the weekend… it's true. Well, parts of it. The parts where you said that no guy would ever want to go out with me or anything… it's all true. Besides you and Adam… Andrew was kind of the first guy, to you know, kiss me."
"Allison…"
"It's the truth, Drakeie… I've never been out on a date, really… it'd just be nice if someone took an interest in me every once in a while… I don't know. Maybe I'm just over reacting or something."
"Allie, I'm sure that like, half the guys at the school are crushing on you."
"You're not going to help me if you just feed me lie after lie, Drake. I'm telling you all of this because… I need help. I really need help with everything and I want you to help me. But you can't do that if you are going to lie to me."
"Fine," he sighed.
"It's gonna take a while for me to tell you everything. Mostly because of the fact that there is so much that I need to tell you. But… if you're willing to put up with the overly emotional me, then… I need your help, Drake." I admitted. "And you cant tell anybody about this. Not even Adam."
"Okay, baby girl. I want to help you. I love you and nothing, and I mean nothing will ever change that."
"I love you, Drake," I cried. Yup, I was crying again.
This was the beginning of the long recovery process that I would endure. With Drake right there by my side.
Okay, Allison is now opening up to Drake. Well, she is starting to :P
